Why do us guys, men, have to be perfect everything in order to get girls?

[Stagger Lee]

I don't get this entire thread. I actually see the opposite all around me. Good looking and pretty decent looking girls with low quality men.

The last thing I'm seeing in guys that may be dating hot girls is any sort of perfection, thats for sure.

And I agree. Us men see women as attractive even if objectively they are just basically average or a little above. And we don't see men as attractive.


I use to always think WTH is all these hot women doing with these low quality men? But I took a hard look and I realized objectively most of these men were fit, young, with symetrical faces, outgoing and were really putting on a personality for the women. Then I took a hard look at the women. Their looks were doctored up with flattering clothes, high heels, make up concealed a far from perfect complexion etc. Objectively most of the females were pretty average, short, a little plump, and very boring in general. I noticed when these women interacted with their female friends they acted more interesting and sexy than when a man interacted with them. It's about the opposite for guys, we turn it up for women.

I see some truely attractive girls no doubt. But they are always in their clique and the guys they are talking to are usually down right tall and handsome "alphas". I see a lot of the more attractive girls leaving with no guys as no guy was good enough.

I got agree that women don't really want high quality personality in a guy. What I or a lot of men would considered a high quality guy, females consider a "nice" guy. We know that doesn't attract them. So it's like you have to fake a low quality personality to be more attractive to females. Which is another thing. I don't see a woman having to reinvent her personality to be more attractive to men. They pretty much at best show signs of being attracted to the guy and the guy has to proceed on those signs and esculate.

 

[CuriousGirl]

Wow. Just...wow.

So sex is something "given up" from a woman to a man, and not something mutually enjoyed?

Is it also "giving up his body" if a man has sex with a woman?

And intimacy (e.g. hand-holding, kissing, etc.) is something that's traded for? What then do women overtly offer in exchange for the man's shows of intimacy?

And how does cooking prowess have anything more to do with sex than does video-game prowess? Unless one is cooking with her or playing video-games with her within a relationship of some sort, I don't see how.

Incidentally, what about homosexual relationships? Is sex something that's "given" from one particular partner to the other?

As 'open' and 'equal' as society is these days I would still say society has definitely carved sex as the woman "giving up her body" to the man. I personally won't have one night stands with guys, maybe one night stands with a male friend, but certainly would never have a ONS with a guy I'd just met. However I'd feel perfectly comfortable having one night stands with women, or a woman I'd just met.
It's actually a pretty annoying feeling* to have because you have conflicting feelings, hormones raging telling you to have sex with everyone and all the time and then your gut saying no just keep your knickers on.

I think there are lots reasons for this, many of which have probably been mentioned, personal life will no doubt have a part to play as certainly society will too.

(*probably noteworthy to mention it could predominantly be considered 'feeling' as it became a conscious decision based on instinct/feeling.)

At the end of the day it's pretty damn intimate to have someone inside you, you're not gonna let anyone have a go.

 

[CuriousGirl]

I don't get this entire thread. I actually see the opposite all around me. Good looking and pretty decent looking girls with low quality men.

The last thing I'm seeing in guys that may be dating hot girls is any sort of perfection, thats for sure.

I'm crossing over two threads now but I've noticed the guys in my completely-and-utterly-brother-like-friend-zone have similar personalities but look really different and have different interests, different social circles etc.
At the end of the day I would say it's definitely personality above all for women, which is why you tend to see hotter female halves. I've never met a hotter male half relationship come to think of it.

 

[giantmecharobotnerd]

That's a misconception. We don't have to be billionaires, we don't even have to have our lives sorted out, no. Women want Men. Simple as that. Now I hear you asking, "If that's the case, then I should have the hottest blonde in my arms right now, even though I'm a loser who has nothing to do and nowhere to go in life. WHY DON'T I? WHY?" Because Women want MEN. What's a man? I don't mean today's ***** men. I mean a real man. Let's ask nature. Think back to caveman times. Back to the times of real men & women.

The women would gather, men would hunt. This is the way nature dictated. Men would go out, fight & kill beasts with their bare hands, and bring them home for dinner. Men would work their asses off, risk their lives, fight, be brutal, provide and be strong. Women would cook, gather, housekeep (or cavekeep), and take care of children. The man would select a wife (or wives) and bang the crap out of her. Did he have SoSuave? Did he have DeAngelo, Pook or Anti-Dump? No. He just was. And all the chicks knew his name.

It's simple to be a man. Do your thing, do it perfectly. Work, be strong & provide and that's it. Ever wonder how aspiring artists get laid left & right, or have a steady girlfriend who supports them no matter what, even though they're nothing great yet? It's because of their drive; of their passion. This is what the chicks get off on. Raw masculinity. Be a man, you'll get the women. It really is that easy.

thats a lot of work to do, women however, are automatically accepted by men, they do not need drive or passion, they just have to be a hot piece of meat

 

[socjim86]

Women may perpetuate the illusion that their standards are ridiculously high, but it's just a smokescreen. Women "settle" ALL the time. Women break their own rules, resolve to never do it again, then go out and break their own rules again. It all comes down to generating attraction--attraction is not a choice, so in some respects, women do NOT choose anybody.

What trips a lot of guys up is the fact that, quite often, women will often act "unattainable" when you first meet them. This serve them well, as it filters out the guys that aren't self-confident enough to plow through these "soft" rejections.

As for the clingy-ness, neediness, and whatnot...you are correct that these things are unacceptable to women. That is because they are FEMININE qualities- a man shouldn't "need" anyone to complete his life. If you are projecting neediness, you WILL have to fix that problem--there's no "magic bullet," you're just going to have to be vigilante and stop yourself when you feel like you're slipping into bad habits.

But see this is where these PUA methods have so many contradictions. If you are filtered out by the barriers as not self-confident enough to break thru them, you've struck out. But if you DO keep pursuing her, you look needy and then you well....STRIKE OUT.

 

[luckster]

But see this is where these PUA methods have so many contradictions. If you are filtered out by the barriers as not self-confident enough to break thru them, you've struck out. But if you DO keep pursuing her, you look needy and then you well....STRIKE OUT.

Not really, just have the mentality that you will always give it a second shot. If it's still a no, you know it's time to move on.

This isn't just about women either, it's just human mentality. "No" seems to be a reaction/defense answer. Example: when someone offers another whom he does not know so well a piece of gum, some water, a ride, etc, the first response is more often than not "No, thanks." Following it up with second inquiry (e.g. "are you sure?") more often than not turns the "No" into a "Yes."

 

[IKO69]

But see this is where these PUA methods have so many contradictions. If you are filtered out by the barriers as not self-confident enough to break thru them, you've struck out. But if you DO keep pursuing her, you look needy and then you well....STRIKE OUT.

Of course. PUA is going to make a bunch of promises in order to get your money. That being said, there is always going to be some contradictions.

You don't have to be perfect, however, you do need to get to the level where you consider yourself to be the man. When you get to the point where you can say i'm them and if i'm someone asks, are you? You go **** yeah, then mentally you are where you need to be. That's where the problem lies. It's hard to be a guy and has been for the past few decades with all the brainwashing that goes on. Hell males even feel guilty about having a penis as if it's a bad thing.

You got to correct what's going on in your mind, then set to work on yourself & towards something. When you do this you'll notice you'll start meeting new and different people and things gradually unfold.