why do some Women assume they know how you think?

[spread_love]

It is actually one of the things I have disliked most about Women, I just find it condescending and I always say to them No you don't know how I think because you aren't me.

Case in point, I had a small affair with this girl, we liked each other a lot, the sex was great (and she had never orgasmed from having her p---y eaten out before until she me) so yeah we had some fun but it ended (with the occasional hook up) and we have been in touch but haven't seen each other for a while and today I get this.

Hi Hows life?

Thought I'd just ask the question, how is your Dad and things going there also?

I hope you realize we can be friends but thats all and that if ever you had a problem id be here for you. I just don't want to get as close as before because I know that being with someone is what you are looking for ya know?

What I don't understand is why she is saying I know you want someone to be with?, I have never told her, okay maybe 2 years ago when we first hooked up, I did think there would be more...but that was then, we ended up having a confusing back and forth e-mail fight (sort of) and she was saying it's funny how we both want different things and all kinds of other stuff.

I told her I just want someone to drink with, hang out with and great sex without all of the relationship b.s.

I just don't get why she is telling me she wants someone to go to sleep with at night and wake up to in the morning, but that person is not me.

Does she miss me?, should I care?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

It's because the typical man is predictable, just as predictable as the typical woman.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

It's the myth of the Feminine Mystique. Men can NEVER know women, but women know everything about men by virtue of 'Feminine Intuition". It's a very old operative social contrivance; so long as women remain a mystery Men can never really have power over them.

Like most women she'll use this contrivance to write you off and you'll accept it because you've been socially conditioned to think women are unknowable. In fact for a man to even overtly say that he "knows women" or even imply that he has them figured out to the smallest degree makes him subject to ridicule and ostracization. See how it works? It seems presumptuous and condescending to you because men really have no natural counter against it.

Truth be told, women are easier to figure out than most men so long as you judge their intent by observing their behavior.

 

[STR8UP]

I would say that men AND women are easy to figure out. All you have to do is look and you can see that there is an underlying cause behind their behaviors, contrary to what some believe.

The reason why people think it's so tough to understand women is because the same reason it's easier to understand science than it is art. Men= science. Women= art. Men= logical. Women= emotional. Blah, blah, blah.

Everyone is focused primarily on survival and procreation. Peel away the emotions and add some logic and they are just like us.

 

[WestCoaster]

I think the first rule of thumb is the Bill Clinton theory: When asked why he had the fling with Lewinsky, he replied: "Because I could." (Frankly, if you're the leader of the free world and you want to cheat on your wife, you gotta upgrade, Bill ... but that's for another day.)

Men and women do things because they can. I worked at a job 3/4's time once. The company -- a very wealthy one -- had a group of us at three-quarters time. There were always people who wanted our jobs, even though they paid just OK, not great. Why did this company do this? Because they could.

Correct on Rollo's part, that intuition thing is pure B.S. Like I said earlier, if they had intuition, they'd quit dating, marrying, and having babies with losers.

First rule of thumb: People do things because they can, they'll excuse their behavior or misbehavior later ... and women REALLY do this.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Actually, the greatest artists in history are all men, but,...

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

..The reason why people think it's so tough to understand women is because the same reason it's easier to understand science than it is art. Men= science. Women= art. Men= logical. Women= emotional. Blah, blah, blah...

You would think that since people know this much, they could understand (predict) the scientific, artsy, logical, emotional behaviors. But that would mean that people would need to understand the aspects of the behaviors that may not be innate to them.

 

[STR8UP]

Actually, the greatest artists in history are all men, but,...

Art, not "artist".

Bad euphemism?

 

[jophil28]

Hey Spred luv, I read her email (and her as a person ) as condescending , self-opinionated and self-important. She appears to believe that SHE would have whatever resouces/ empathy/ support etc you needed in a personal crisis.
She also is arrogant enough to tell YOU what part SHE is going to play in your life ( friend only)

THis little piece of female conceit would be annoying and competitive in any type of relationship ,and that includes friendship.. She would always have to be right and she would always need to have the last word.

AM i right ?

 

[spread_love]

Hey Spred luv, I read her email (and her as a person ) as condescending , self-opinionated and self-important. She appears to believe that SHE would have whatever resources/ empathy/ support etc you needed in a personal crisis.
She also is arrogant enough to tell YOU what part SHE is going to play in your life ( friend only)

THis little piece of female conceit would be annoying and competitive in any type of relationship ,and that includes friendship.. She would always have to be right and she would always need to have the last word.

AM i right ?

Yes, I think you are and I thought about that, what do you suggest I do?

 

[spread_love]

I think this should do it...

Yup but Don't forget, that I am also there for you and here for you when you have problems or need a friends shoulder to cry on, I can be a good friend and if you are honest with me I will stick by you and be loyal to you as that good friend.

 

[st_99]

I can relate to what you're saying.

I had this girl I was screwing for a little while and then stopped, (we ended up just being casual friends).. tell me "If I wanted a relationiship it would be with you but I'm not looking for a relationship."

I'm like... Uhhhhh, what the hell makes you think I want to be in a relationship with you?

And I was dead serious.

FB's was totally fine with me.

I hate it when girls think they have you all figured out.

 

[jophil28]

I think this should do it...

Yup but Don't forget, that I am also there for you and here for you when you have problems or need a friends shoulder to cry on, I can be a good friend and if you are honest with me I will stick by you and be loyal to you as that good friend.

Is this what you want from this woman -"friendship" ??? Really ?
If you really are still hankering after a relationship which includes some
' horizontal tango', then do not send the reply above - why ? Because it ain't honestly how you feel.
WE men have got to realize that we NEVER should be trying to "audition" to impress a woman with presentations of " I am a nice friendly guy who is worthy of your loving ." I have done that (only once) and in so doing I gave all my power away to her to sit in endless judgement of my actions - she got to approve or not of my every move. Guess what? THat puts her is the position of your judge and eventually she will also be your executioner.

In your case Spear Liver.I wouild not reply or just say "Hi , thanks for the catchup, I hope all is Klar in your life.."
If she has an agenda she will reply and start to reveal it.

Maybe you should take some good advice from someone on this forum recently which essentially was ," Spend your money on a new suit of clothes - don't try to recycle old rags ."

Spead Luving.

 

[penkitten]

more manipulation.
she is either using guilt or reverse psychology.
i am not sure of which, because i do not know anything about why the two of you broke up.

 

[spread_love]

Is this what you want from this woman -"friendship" ??? Really ?
If you really are still hankering after a relationship which includes some
' horizontal tango', then do not send the reply above - why ? Because it ain't honestly how you feel.
WE men have got to realize that we NEVER should be trying to "audition" to impress a woman with presentations of " I am a nice friendly guy who is worthy of your loving ." I have done that (only once) and in so doing I gave all my power away to her to sit in endless judgement of my actions - she got to approve or not of my every move. Guess what? THat puts her is the position of your judge and eventually she will also be your executioner.

In your case Spear Liver.I wouild not reply or just say "Hi , thanks for the catchup, I hope all is Klar in your life.."
If she has an agenda she will reply and start to reveal it.

Maybe you should take some good advice from someone on this forum recently which essentially was ," Spend your money on a new suit of clothes - don't try to recycle old rags ."

Spead Luving.

wow, you changed your tune, you were the one that said...well go back and read your first post.

 

[spread_love]

more manipulation.
she is either using guilt or reverse psychology.
i am not sure of which, because i do not know anything about why the two of you broke up.

Thanks penkitten, we broke up because she wouldn't introduce me to her son and told me that the next Man that comes into her life would be there for a long time, which made me feel inadequate and like I couldn't be a Father figure, she was happy to call me and pick me up when she wanted sex or some company though, but I had to leave early in the mornings before the son woke up.

 

[jophil28]

wow, you changed your tune, you were the one that said...well go back and read your first post.

Huh ? My two posts are compatable in essense.

Your proposed reply is the real problem here. You are offering "friendship" and empathy and support (in advance ) Is this what you REALLY want to give her ?? I suspect that you have a "booty plan" and you are trying to entice her back with an offer of friendship and you hope that your new closeness with her will progress to physical intimacy "at the right moment" .
Be honest.

She has contacted you after a break. Why? Who cares why ? IF you wanted to keep her a "friend " only ,why did you cut her loose in the first place ? .

 

[jophil28]

It

I just don't get why she is telling me she wants someone to go to sleep with at night and wake up to in the morning, but that person is not me.

Does she miss me?, should I care?

It is simple ,man . SHe has no plates, she is lonely and cant get a date, NO sex for a while, no male AFC attention = no validation. SHe knows from the past that you are a "supplier"of all these commodities so she is back for some.

Like a hungry cat who scratches at the farmhouse door waiting to be fed .
If you feed her, she will either hang around for a regular mael, OR she will wander off with a full belly.

 

[Latinoman]

Thanks penkitten, we broke up because she wouldn't introduce me to her son and told me that the next Man that comes into her life would be there for a long time, which made me feel inadequate and like I couldn't be a Father figure, she was happy to call me and pick me up when she wanted sex or some company though, but I had to leave early in the mornings before the son woke up.

She is protecting her child. You should admire her for that. Now...if you two were in a COMMITTED relationship and if you two were together for let's say 6 months (or more) and she STILL has not introduce you to her child...then, that's a different story.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

,...we broke up because she wouldn't introduce me to her son and told me that the next Man that comes into her life would be there for a long time, which made me feel inadequate and like I couldn't be a Father figure,...

NEXT!

How many times will I have to repeat myself? NO SINGLE MOMMIES - EVER!