Why did she blurt this out?

[Driven]

I've been seeing this girl for a few weeks. She is 19 and I'm 23. She was stuck in a relationship she didn't like for over a year or more but didn't quit for some reason. It was the only BF she had ever had. She talked to me for about a month before they broke up, I guess because I asked her out and it showed her she didn;t have to be with him.

Fast forward to the end of date 2. We have got along pretty well from the start. I said it looked like I might not have to work on Saturday afterall. I mention that I would like to go to this play where you have to follow along and figure out a murder mystery. The package includes the show, dinner, and a room at the lodge(state park). I had mentioned it to her before and she was up for it but it looked like I was going to have to work. She is very busy with school so I also said that it was an overnight stay.

That cause her to blurt out "well don't think you are getting laid", in a VERY serious tone. I of course said WTF kind of comment is that to make. She went into some big spew about some BS guys thinking that taking off work means they get laid, etc. I said well whatever and she said the was just having fun right now and doesn't want to ruin it. I told her that made me feel real great about myself LOL!

She doesn't mind getting close and I can kiss her all I can stand. I really don't know what to think now. On one hand she could just be really shy since she was with the other fella so long and it is a small town so I know that was her only one. Or she could be playing me. Or maybe I'm paranoid.

BTW, she thought the first date was strickly about getting into her pants since I took her back to my place to dance since I couldn;t think of any clubs, etc I could get her into being 19. I've wondered if that is playing into this scenario. She has also said it has upset her that a guy "friend" she used to work with called and asked her out as soon as he heard she broke up with wuss bag that couldn't make any descions. She said it has her looking at guys in a new way since she thought they were "just friends".

 

[alphawolfx]

you should have said

"well, YOU'RE the one who just mentioned it... you have a dirty mind"

 

[Driven]

I did say something along those lines at one point.

 

[Donald Kaufman]

*cough*AW*cough*

I assume getting into her pants is not your only goal. That said, if you want to move this into something with legs slow it down. You are getting into a rebound situation and if she jumps from one to the next quickly it will probably turn ugly. Let her feel a space between relationships. Let her feel some freedom and start getting over the past before you "fill the void".

As to the Attention Whor3 part, it may be because she is young, inexperienced, adjusting, or a combination of the three. I think you might want to give her a little space to see what she is about. Figure out if her issues are short term or long term.

 

[dietzcoi]

Sounds like she has a chip on her shoulder about men for some reason..

Proceed with caution.

Dietzcoi

 

[NewMan]

Sounds like a real b#tchy chick to me.

 

[NewMan]

You should have blurted out:

"And don't think I'm going to pay for your Dinner"....


B#tch.

 

[Driven]

I've been thinking that I should slow down. I want something long term with her as she is the first girl in a long time that will talk about something other than getting high. I've been working 6 days a week minimum for the last 2 months and only see her once a week. Maybe need to go slower than that.

 

[stalluproar]

My guess is she is a control freak. When she blurts that out, all I can think is she is trying to control. A tactful response such as Alphawolx's takes all her cards away that she had to play with.

 

[StringShredder]

Possible replies:

"Not getting laid? You mean, as in doing it standing up only, or do you mean not doing it at all?"

"Are you absolutely sure I'm not getting laid? For how long? A week, month, year? Girl, you are living in some fantasy in which you and I are stranded on an uninhabited island."

 

[Royal Elite]

Originally posted by Driven
I've been thinking that I should slow down. I want something long term with her as she is the first girl in a long time that will talk about something other than getting high. I've been working 6 days a week minimum for the last 2 months and only see her once a week. Maybe need to go slower than that.

Always remember different destinations means different routes!

Since you are planning ltr already with her, then you need to slow down and get into her head. That is why rebounds dont work, because even though you get into her legs the other man is still in her head. For now you need to get her thinking about you since Im sure she is still thinking about the last guy, here are a couple of tips.

Dont actually say the words:-I like you (if you have dont do it again). Say things like you're cool, you're alright. The key to this is to make sure you actions are totally incongruent with your words (you still do things that show you like her like kissing, holding hands). Congruentcy is a gift for your own actions and thoughts but for others incongruency is the key. She will wonder why are you saying one thing and doing another. You need to use vagueness right now. You will never have this girl until you get her mentally.

To show you the power of incongruency on women check out this post here from a HOT girl on the board

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=68801

 

[Disconnect]

Oh, come on. My gf used to say that all the time, until I did her so hard she now begs for more constantly. Just playing hard to get imo - a shyt test.

 

[Driven]

She is most definitely an AW. I have told her to stop being a drama queen a few times and that seems to help my cause. She even says "I did it again sorry" sometimes before I bust on her.

The last guy is for sure still in her head. He calls and says sh*t to her and is being really needy. I told her that will cease or she will cease to see me, and that if she couldn't get rid of him I will. She told me last time we were face to face taht he had called again that day but "it didn't bother her since they were done". He I guess is getting more and more mad about things and she is seeing that he is a bigger loser than she even thought. I told her it was bothering her even though she said it wasn't and she fessed up. She claimed she was at the point of telling him to f*** off. If that is true then maybe things will be OK. She told me she has fun when we are together and she doesn;t think about all the stressful stuff like school, him, etc when we do stuff.

I guess I'm just worried about being a victim to an AW.

 

[backbreaker]

why are you trying to DATE someone, who was seeing you while she was with someone else?

What's the point? She a) isn't giving you any b) has emotional problems that to be f rank you don't need to be with and c) isn't giving you any money.

So why waste your time? She is cute? So what. Lots of them out there.

Just stop talking to her.

 

[Driven]

uh hello, I wasn't seeing her. I asked her out and she said no because of the BF. She left him and is now with me.

 

[Befuddled]

I'm back .

Well.... ive hooked up with(not fvcked) girls who give it out to every tom di*k and harry. I find out about it later of course. And to be honest, i'd rather be with a girl who takes her time, takes it slow, makes it a bit of a challenge.

This girl your with is not dissing you, shes spending time with you and willing to spend time with you and go out with you. Now i asuume your intentions did not warant that kind of comment, but she was just being defensive.

If i were in your place, and i liked her, if she made that kind of comment.... i would have been like...
'damn!' with a smirk on my face lol...

Anyway ..... dont take it too hard. after the girls ive been seeing lately, i'd be rather happy to meet one who was defensive about guys getting into their pants lol.

Cheers.