CasanovaFrankenstein
Don Juan
- Joined
- May 19, 2007
- Messages
- 80
- Reaction score
- 5
She was never even my girlfriend. I met her about 13 years ago in a gentleman's club where she was dancing. We went out once as friends only, after I had given up that she would ever have romantic feelings for me. She was never interested in me romantically and never led me on that she was. I've felt this way about lots of females in my life (I'm 36) and I've even felt this way about females SINCE her. But none of them mean anything to me anymore, I never start obsessing over any of them today, only her. Why can't I get over her? I have such a deep need to feel loved by a woman that I have the same kinds of feelings for. And I've never experienced that. But what is it about her?? I found out friday that she moved with her live-in boyfriend to Wisconsin (I'm in IL) and it just tore my heart out. Why can't I get over her once and for all? Why do I feel like such a failure because she never liked me as more than a friend? Am I broken somehow? What's wrong with me?
Another thing is, I've watched some of Johnny Soporno's videos at his website and the whole thing about just having friends you have sex with, but nobody exclusive, no commitment. It sounds so lonely! Maybe its because I have no experience with women? I want to find a woman that I respect, and admire, whose intelligent and strong-willed and independent, and know that she thinks I'm the sexiest man she knows. Is it AFC to want to be loved by a woman? Not just that she wants to have sex with me, but that she loves me?
Maybe I don't know how to be a man, because I never had a strong role-model. I never played sports growing up, never had many friends, never worked when I was in school, never went to parties, never dated, just went home every day after school and played video games and watched tv. I was raised by my mom and grandma, my dad was there but was pretty useless as far as male guidance goes. Is that what's wrong with me? That I don't know how to be a man? That I don't know what it feels like to believe in myself? At 36 is it too late to learn how to be a man? And where would I start?
Edit: I read some of Pook's stuff. I had forgotten about being the Prize. I am the Prize, or at least I'm supposed to believe that. But what if I don't? What do I do?
Another thing is, I've watched some of Johnny Soporno's videos at his website and the whole thing about just having friends you have sex with, but nobody exclusive, no commitment. It sounds so lonely! Maybe its because I have no experience with women? I want to find a woman that I respect, and admire, whose intelligent and strong-willed and independent, and know that she thinks I'm the sexiest man she knows. Is it AFC to want to be loved by a woman? Not just that she wants to have sex with me, but that she loves me?
Maybe I don't know how to be a man, because I never had a strong role-model. I never played sports growing up, never had many friends, never worked when I was in school, never went to parties, never dated, just went home every day after school and played video games and watched tv. I was raised by my mom and grandma, my dad was there but was pretty useless as far as male guidance goes. Is that what's wrong with me? That I don't know how to be a man? That I don't know what it feels like to believe in myself? At 36 is it too late to learn how to be a man? And where would I start?
Edit: I read some of Pook's stuff. I had forgotten about being the Prize. I am the Prize, or at least I'm supposed to believe that. But what if I don't? What do I do?