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Why Are So Many Professional Millennial Women Unable To Find Dateable Men?

BadBoy89

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A growing number of Millennial women are beginning to fret over the unanticipated consequences of prioritizing our careers before love. And I only need to look at my group of friends to see this reality. Again and again, year after year, my successful, gorgeous, and amazing friends remain kiss-less on New Year’s Eve. And on Valentine’s Day. And on the 4th of July.

We are coming to the realization that we were unwittingly playing a game of musical chairs — while everyone was pairing up, those focused on our careers are left standing alone.


“Women used to feel more pressure to get married and have kids earlier, and prioritize those goals above the others.” Add to that women's ability now to be self-sufficient financially and supported socially by so many friends in the same boat, it shouldn’t be that surprising so many Millennial women are single.

It’s not as if we are holding out for Jake Gyllenhaal, but we do have certain non-negotiable expectations for potential mates that include college degrees and white-collar jobs. Life has always gone according to our plans, so why wouldn’t we land a man with these (reasonable) requirements?

This unwillingness to settle for less than we think we deserve is joined by a lax attitude towards searching for potential mates. We’re busy dominating the world. We don’t have time to hang out at bars. While some of us explore online dating or take a more proactive approach, the majority of Millennial women have long assumed we would meet Prince Charming via friends, or through their own social circles. .

Millennial women have taken it for granted that they will pair up with equal partners. But increasingly, there aren’t enough of these men to go around. Women now outnumber men on college campuses, and single, childless women out earn their male counterparts. . “I talk to so many women who are obsessed with finding men on their level. They want someone as ambitious, engaged, and high-achieving as they are. They maybe need to rethink that to seek a partner who is supportive, rather than competitive.”

“Going back centuries, it was just a contract between two parties. Love and even friendship or liking each other weren't important. If you were lucky, they developed over time. But now, we think we can find a guy who will be our best friend, our other half, who we will love before we marry. Finding that in a guy that we also find attractive makes the probability of finding a "good match" even less.”

———-

Thoughts?
 

SW15

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This article was written in December 2012 and it was likely about the oldest Millennial women (1981-1985 births).

It is now over 11 years later and I think this is still an issue in the Millennial generation. However, a lot of Millennial women born in the 1980s have now married and are having their 'Last Call' babies in their mid to late 30s.
 

DreamAgain

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I can tell you quite simply why, and it is not due to intimidation, that is laughable. In today's economy it is quite a benefit if your wife is a strong earner, the cost of living in many places is simply too high, especially when kids are added to the picture. Rather, It is due to:

1) They have unrealistic monetary demands and lifestyle creep.
2) They are simply not as physically attractive usually. Life in the office with long hours takes a toll on one's looks.
3) Bad and boring attitudes/personalities, they lose their feminine charm. You can tell that corporate life has almost programmed their thought patterns a certain, perhaps irrevocable way. I felt like I was talking to a work colleague on many dates with female lawyers and doctors and women in the IT sector.
 

Manure Spherian

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The age old question: “What do women want?”

There are two answers to this question, folks.
1. They don’t know.
2. Both ways.
 

Scaramouche

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Hi Bad Boy,
Just before my last Wife of Many years flew the coop,she told me she was unhappy,I asked why?she said her relationship with me was going nowhere,I asked her where she wanted it to go,she responded that she didn't know but there had to be something better,I then asked what I could do to improve things,she just replied that if it wasn't obvious then it would be a waste of time explaining...This from a Woman who never worked and had all her bills paid!
 

BillyPilgrim

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@BadBoy89 SoSauve does not give out advice on post-epiphany careerist women
The age old question: “What do women want?”

There are two answers to this question, folks.
1. They don’t know.
2. Both ways.
There is one answer:
1. Yes

If they had better restraint, they would find more dateable men.
 

SW15

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I can tell you quite simply why, and it is not due to intimidation, that is laughable....It is due to:

1) They have unrealistic monetary demands and lifestyle creep.
2) They are simply not as physically attractive usually. Life in the office with long hours takes a toll on one's looks.
3) Bad and boring attitudes/personalities, they lose their feminine charm. You can tell that corporate life has almost programmed their thought patterns a certain, perhaps irrevocable way. I felt like I was talking to a work colleague on many dates with female lawyers and doctors and women in the IT sector.
All 3 are bad. I've noticed items 2 & 3 more than 1 in my dating experiences.

I have had the misfortune of having a few dates with women in higher level white collar positions. All of them were unpleasant. I had one date with a female lawyer who told me a story about how she worked through a major American holiday that had just transpired a few weeks earlier at the time of the date. That was not attractive at all. I had one date with a female doctor (MD) and it was apparent she was rushing her way through the date and not making getting to know me and being in the moment a priority. I didn't offer either the lawyer or doctor a 2nd date.

Long working hours do get in the way of regular exercise and eating a healthy diet. A woman with a demanding job won't spend as much time exercising and she won't have time to cook healthier meals. That will impact her physical attractiveness. I have seen female colleagues at jobs over time manage to keep a healthy weight but you could see the stress in their faces. The demanding jobs aged their faces.
 

Solomon

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I can tell you quite simply why, and it is not due to intimidation, that is laughable. In today's economy it is quite a benefit if your wife is a strong earner, the cost of living in many places is simply too high, especially when kids are added to the picture. Rather, It is due to:

1) They have unrealistic monetary demands and lifestyle creep.
2) They are simply not as physically attractive usually. Life in the office with long hours takes a toll on one's looks.
3) Bad and boring attitudes/personalities, they lose their feminine charm. You can tell that corporate life has almost programmed their thought patterns a certain, perhaps irrevocable way. I felt like I was talking to a work colleague on many dates with female lawyers and doctors and women in the IT sector.
These are all true I would also add if they are physically attractive then number 3 becomes amplified.
 

inquisitor

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A growing number of Millennial women are beginning to fret over the unanticipated consequences of prioritizing our careers before love. And I only need to look at my group of friends to see this reality. Again and again, year after year, my successful, gorgeous, and amazing friends remain kiss-less on New Year’s Eve. And on Valentine’s Day. And on the 4th of July.

We are coming to the realization that we were unwittingly playing a game of musical chairs — while everyone was pairing up, those focused on our careers are left standing alone.


“Women used to feel more pressure to get married and have kids earlier, and prioritize those goals above the others.” Add to that women's ability now to be self-sufficient financially and supported socially by so many friends in the same boat, it shouldn’t be that surprising so many Millennial women are single.

It’s not as if we are holding out for Jake Gyllenhaal, but we do have certain non-negotiable expectations for potential mates that include college degrees and white-collar jobs. Life has always gone according to our plans, so why wouldn’t we land a man with these (reasonable) requirements?

This unwillingness to settle for less than we think we deserve is joined by a lax attitude towards searching for potential mates. We’re busy dominating the world. We don’t have time to hang out at bars. While some of us explore online dating or take a more proactive approach, the majority of Millennial women have long assumed we would meet Prince Charming via friends, or through their own social circles. .

Millennial women have taken it for granted that they will pair up with equal partners. But increasingly, there aren’t enough of these men to go around. Women now outnumber men on college campuses, and single, childless women out earn their male counterparts. . “I talk to so many women who are obsessed with finding men on their level. They want someone as ambitious, engaged, and high-achieving as they are. They maybe need to rethink that to seek a partner who is supportive, rather than competitive.”

“Going back centuries, it was just a contract between two parties. Love and even friendship or liking each other weren't important. If you were lucky, they developed over time. But now, we think we can find a guy who will be our best friend, our other half, who we will love before we marry. Finding that in a guy that we also find attractive makes the probability of finding a "good match" even less.”

———-

Thoughts?
They want to marry Christian Grey, but he wants to marry Anastasia Steele, and not his secretary/(insert other corporate female archetype).
 

FlexpertHamilton

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Hoe Math talks about this. Feminists endlessly complain that menare earning more than them, so "equality" was forced to give them advantages in education/work, and now they are displacing men en masse. They want equality, and when they get it, they complain that men are not good enough for them. But if men make more than them, they still complain of patriarchy. So which is it? They can't have it both ways, but seem unable to grasp this incredibly simple conundrum they've brought upon themselves. They're absolute clowns. What's worse, is women thinking being "educated" and having a "career" makes them more attractive to men, when it does the opposite.
 
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Bokanovsky

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In short, unrealistic expectations, overinflated sense of self-worth and lack of game (yes, there is such a thing as female game).

In a sense, millennial career women are the female equivalent of incels. They feel entitled to top tier men…but most of them don’t have much to offer to such men.
 

SW15

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In a sense, millennial career women are the female equivalent of incels.
Yes, they are. Many years ago, Chateau Heartiste came up with a term called insol. Insol was short for involuntary solitude. The female insol is the rough equivalent of the male incel.

The female insol is able to get sex rather easily. She is unable to get a committed relationship for the most part. Occasionally, she will be in a shorter term relationship, but that's as far as it goes.

The female insol does not stand out as much because she has at least adequate social skills and is not a social outcast.

In short, unrealistic expectations, overinflated sense of self-worth and lack of game (yes, there is such a thing as female game).
All true. Millennial girls were products of 1990s/early 2000s Boomer parenting and the self-esteem emphasis of the school systems of that era. That's what gave them an overinflated sense of self-worth and unrealistic expectations.

They feel entitled to top tier men…but most of them don’t have much to offer to such men.
Millennial female entitlement has been sky high since adolescence.
 

BaronOfHair

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Why Are So Many Professional Millennial Women Unable To Find Dateable Men?


Note the date on that video and the year the book itself was published. The hubris we moderns exhibit, by persisting with the belief that we've discovered truths all humans prior to The mid-10s were just too dumb to notice, is remarkable

All that's really changed, since the years between 1997-about 2016, and where we've been since then? In the not too distant past, we could utter "edgy" sentiments on radio, TV, or online, and neither the government nor the private sector would kow-tow to the whims of those Neo-Stalinesque corners of society who's default mode = Silencing all speech they personally find objectionable

Today, by contrast:
Both our government AND the private sector have sawed their own scrotillias off with ginsu knives, then handed them over to an insatiably censorius few, without offering even an iota of resistance
 

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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This issue is actually deeper than it presents, because most women who know the career based woman have to engage in mate guarding with their own men, meaning these women are typically weeded out of social circles potentially involving life long friends.

It's really not about finding a man, but rather about finding continued inclusion in their social groups or finding a new group. Alot of these women have this radical feminist rhetoric and come off as femcels, you see the downright hostility at times, so does everyone else.

Women with no friends are seen as weird by other women, they know they will be the focus of the gossip.
 

Solomon

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In short, unrealistic expectations, overinflated sense of self-worth and lack of game (yes, there is such a thing as female game).

In a sense, millennial career women are the female equivalent of incels. They feel entitled to top tier men…but most of them don’t have much to offer to such men.
Yup women's game IMO is always been feminine energy, witty banter, flirting, innuendo etc. The dressing style of Millenial and Gen-Z women with the horrid 70s mom pants is just atrocious bring back apple bottoms lol

I noticed a pattern 7 years ago that girls were actually getting dumber, I'm not trying to be misogynists but I noticed especially on OLD that the messages I used to sent women in prior years would go over a lot of women's heads so I had to "Dumb down my game" add the fact that so many women identify with gender politics, BLM etc and think it's a personality trait and yikes welcome to 2024
 

inquisitor

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Yup women's game IMO is always been feminine energy, witty banter, flirting, innuendo etc. The dressing style of Millenial and Gen-Z women with the horrid 70s mom pants is just atrocious bring back apple bottoms lol

I noticed a pattern 7 years ago that girls were actually getting dumber, I'm not trying to be misogynists but I noticed especially on OLD that the messages I used to sent women in prior years would go over a lot of women's heads so I had to "Dumb down my game" add the fact that so many women identify with gender politics, BLM etc and think it's a personality trait and yikes welcome to 2024
Who knew that the only thing that can bring down the Sisterhood Über Alles, is the Sisterhood Über Alles itself?
 
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