Why am I so quiet

[jaybeezi]

For some reason, I am almost always the quiet one.

I usually dont have much to say, i'll have conversations with a group of people and will just be sitting there, trying to add to it but I am unable to think of anything to say.

I dont know what the reasoning is behind this, but I have been thinking about it a lot lately, and I notice that when I am out at a club or something and I have few drinks in me I always have things to say, most of the things I say are things that if I had been sober I most likely wouldnt have thought of them. Its like I can think a little more clearly when I have been drinking.

I doubt thats it, I am somewhat of a self-concious person, and maybe I overthink what I am going to say, it doesnt seem like it in my head, but maybe I do it without even thinking about it, and when I drink I dont do this?, I dont worry about looking "cool" I just have a good time.

I dont know, I know other people must be like this, I really want to stop being the quiet one, and have something to say, I'm a lot funnier when I drink too, maybe i'll just drink 24/7.

BTW: being like this doesnt help much with the ladies.

 

[Spike Shinizzle]

Do not fret! You are not the only one.

Sorry I have no advice...



well I guess I do.. Do not force it. Otherwise chances of sounding like a jackass increase ten fold. I know this.

 

[static]

I'm the same way...

 

[Pulsar]

paralysis by analysis? If you keep thinking of the 'perfect' thing to say, by the time you work out what it is, the opportunity to say it is gone..

Just say whatever comes to your mind or even if you ask a question that you already know the anwer to or just confirm with them the point they made so you show them that you understand properly..

I dunno, I'm trying to improve myself in this area also.

 

[rapsta]

start hanging with friends that keep talking all the time

 

[terminator911]

Been GONE forever!

Hey there fellas, been gone a while...

jaybeezi: Don't sweat it, the less you talk the less chances you having of saying something dumb!

If you really want to improve your conversational skills then by all means go ahead. It wouldn't be much of an improvement if you have to be drunk every time to be able to carry a conversation with someone.

Here's a tip: Listen to what people have to say (really listen, don't just pretend) and let them finish... by then you will have had enough time to come up with a follow up question or just feed them back what they said in your own words. They'll agree every time since it is basically what they said just in different words.

Beware, sometimes saying nothing is the best answer you can give to dumb questions, especially from women. Just smile and say "yeah" or give a nod and don't give in.

Terminator
PS: I AM BACK

 

[S0LID]

loadsa nods yeah and ah ha's help as it shows ur in on the conversation.

 

[Beethoven]

Okay, I've experienced something similar myself, so I know where you're coming from.

Two points:

First off, the brain thinks of a lot more 'unusual' things that are interesting when it's RELAXED. That's why dreams are full of all kinds of things, and why you're a lot more interesting after you've had a drink. Take a chill, bud! (Or if you're in a pub, take a Bud, bud. )

Second, remember, conversations aren't always so much about exchanging information as exchanging emotion. I think when you're stone cold sober you're thinking that you don't have much to say. That's beside the point. Say whatever's on your heart (not your mind), even if it's not a particularly cutting insight into the current 'topic'.

 

[Yotsuya-san]

Originally posted by Beethoven
remember, conversations aren't always so much about exchanging information as exchanging emotion. I think when you're stone cold sober you're thinking that you don't have much to say. That's beside the point. Say whatever's on your heart (not your mind), even if it's not a particularly cutting insight into the current 'topic'.

The women with whom you have a rapport that doesn't take many words is worth her weight in gold-pressed latinum. Especially if she doesn't have this relationship with others. Doesn't matter if she's in the LJBF category. She's good social proof.

 

[ScrewIt]

that has happened lately to me @ parties.

Every once in a while my friend's friend will throw a hotel booze party in a hotel suite. usually the same ppl come again, and new ppl each time.

first time i went i got so drunk everyone loved me cuz i was acting nutty and high. all those other times i was just buzzed. but after the first time, i notice i dont really have all that much in common with the ppl there. when im buzzed i may have a little more things to say. when im sober, usually im the quiet one i nthe group. I dont have much to say or anything to talk about, as i said cuz i realized we dont have that much in common....during hte party all we talk about are current things, the party, or just stuff.

But after everyone sobers up, we just act like we dont know each other.

these 2 guys from h.s. i'd hang out with occasionally, usually those 2 are the ones that are always chatting away. me, im just behind them, listening or adding to what they have to say. Those 2 have a lot more in common than i do with them. it's always been llike that with them i guess, thats probably why neither of htem awanna talk to me nor i with them.
if they're not gonna grow with me, then we just grow apart.

 

[ThreeStorms]

Listen to Beethoven jaybeezi he gave good advice.
Another point is this, you will talk more when you are feeling bold and, as I call it 'manly-relaxed'. You can achieve this with some drinks as you already experienced OR by building up testosterone. And the easiest way to do this is by giving up masturbation for a while (working out helps too, directly after workout I am always more social than before). Give it a try.

 

[4afe]

LoL, this helped me but it isnt the best for all....


I had a lot of trouble "thinking of stuff to say" one way I got over it was that I would force myself to hang out with other quiet people. The scilence would annoy the hell out of me so I would just start talking about what ever. Beer has that effect on MANY people, but trust me when the smell doesnt work so well. So yeah, dont try to think of stuff to talk about, just talk if you sound like a jackass fvck them move on to some one that doesnt think your a jackass.

 

[So Many Ways]

I have the same problem. Just last night, my boy was chatting up these two girls and they kept asking him "is there something wrong with him? why isn't he talking?". Once the alcohol is in me, I'm all over the place, talking to everyone. I wish that I could be like that more often when I'm sober.

 

[Player_Supreme]

Why am I so quiet

I don't know why don't you tell us why. Also being the shy guiet type doesn't work so try another program. This one will not serve you anymore.