Why am I like this?

[Mystic]

Sometimes I can be confident approach girls, make people laugh, be slick suave happy funny outgoing etc.

On the flip side I could be feeling isolated, not talkative, TERRIFIED of approaching woman, and just frozen.

I dont know what triggers different moods of mine. Sometimes ill be happy and sometimes ill be sad. I used to be severly depressed but I got treated for it.

Anyone have any idea what im talking about or know where im coming from?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Mystic
Sometimes I can be confident approach girls, make people laugh, be slick suave happy funny outgoing etc.

On the flip side I could be feeling isolated, not talkative, TERRIFIED of approaching woman, and just frozen.

I dont know what triggers different moods of mine. Sometimes ill be happy and sometimes ill be sad. I used to be severly depressed but I got treated for it.

Anyone have any idea what im talking about or know where im coming from?

Don't stress over it, you will only make things worse. As long as it isn't perpetual and you are at least balanced between your good and bad days you will be alright. Its also a good thing that you can tell when you aren't in DJ mode. When you aren't in the groove you can take it easy and focus completely on yourself

 

[ufotofu9]

Thats me too. I know what you mean. But for me, the depressed scared side comes out more then the slick side. WIsh that slick side was more controlable. Anyways, it may be manic depression. I had a bad case of Manic depresion induced by a drug addiction. Bad times. I'm on wellburtin now, but I am seeing my doctor Fri. I want to see if I can change it to something else. Maybe that will help. Good luck buddy.

 

[Pap]

Bro, if you ever feel like you are not in state to make an approach or play the game, that is not an uncommon phenomenon, bro. I suggest (especially if you are at a bar/club) that you simply get your first 3 warm-up approaches out of the way, and that should get you into state to continue playing the game.

Cheers,

Papa

 

[Player_Supreme]

you haven't discovered your true natural self yet. the real you can be funny when you release your blocks. when you start living in the positive you will have easy access to the real you.

when you dwell on negative shyt like "why can't I" type statements then you lose your power.

raise your energy by dwelling on by:

1. decide what you don't want...ie no confidence.

2. decide what you do want...confidence

3. remember what it feels like to have it.

4. keep that feeling alive and let it grow and it will become apart of your natural everyday life.

 

[HollowHorizon]

Your words are very clear my friend.... Sometimes when i want to say something i pause...Just for a few seconds someone will be talking so i try to determine when they are finished what they are saying. Then i try to speak and someone overtalks me so i stop right away.. Sometimes i feel as if i am being ignored.. Usualy i will get out my words after the fact. -
Also if i want to approach a girl (80 % of girls i know or have been aquiented of) sometimes i will hold my self back and think of it or think of what i am going to say.... or sometimes when i do speak with them i will slur a bit and ill be thinking of what there thinking of me while i am trieng to talk ..so i will lose what i am saying, go blank and look like a dumb @SS...... Im confident to a point..Im not desprate enough to walk up to a bangin chick and be like whats up hottie..Untill i can take the lame out of me and put some thrill in my life...

Suggestions?

 

[Julian]

Remember, you are only human.

Girls arent as critical as we perceive them to be.

Ive said some dumb sh1t. For instance, yesterday i started my new job and they were introducing some of the people to us, and i didnt catch the last 2 names so i was like "What were the last 2, i forget" and i said it in a really stupid tone. I got a couple wierd looks but i gave off the impression that i didnt care and went on with my pimpish ways.

Dont sweat it, you can recover. Just dont hold yourself back ya know. I could have just left it at that by not asking what the names were, but i didnt care because i wanted to know the names at the time, even tho i dont even remember them now.

The point is your bound to say some stupid sh1t but dont worry about it, after awhile you will adapt.

 

[Stamina]

I feel you on that man the same thing happens to me... When i'm in my DJ mode i say the funniest sh1t ever i crack everyone up and everyone i know wants to be around me, i get very confident, out going so i can literally approach any girl and get her crazy over me (now that i think about it, every gf i've ever had and every hook up i ever had was a result of me being in DJ mode), don't care what others think....you know all the good sh1t


heh but then just like that it can go....I'll get shy, won't have the confidence i had before so the stuff i say just isn't as funny, i choke when approaching girls, i'm like damn what in the hell happen. I wanna always be in DJ mode damn1t!! haha but something that helps is doing this

i got out a sheet of paper and wrote down everything that puts me in DJ mode, or the things that happen right before i was in this mood.

So when i'm not feeling DJ mode i refer to this list and engage in those activities.

I like what Pap posted too thats some real good advice.

 

[seulaxplaya]

situations cause differnent moods. dont sweat it cuz it happens to all of us

 

[salthepal]

oh man ... this is how it is with me .. sometimes i am really bold and not at all afraid to approach

other times i get stiff with anxiety and cannot do the approach ...

i think it is becoz we still haven't reached the level at which we can believe in our inevitable success ..

when we occasionally do an approach it doesn't go as perfectly as we'd want (which is perfectly normal )so we start thinking about , analyzing and basically killing our confidence with questions like "what if i had done this, or said that" "oh my god, i shouldn't have been this .." etc ..

i believe we should stop thinking and concentrate on doing .. i mean what's the worst thing that can happen when u approach ???

 

[HollowHorizon]

- Make shure your feeling your best

Hint: if your not feeling your best or your having blank words don't jump to an attempt to approach becuse you will most likley end up saying something dumb and not realizing it untill later.
. Or you will will slur and stutter and go into a different subject that has no intrest and bam she has no idea of what you said or ment by that.......

- Plan ahead

-Practice what your going exactly to say..

- Make shure they are connecting and your not doing all the talking

-Watch the news : always has good topics



- be educated..for some of you hoodlems who hate school ..just listen and learn how can you speak when you know nothing about nothing....
Hint: When speaking with them dont get logical. Im shure they dont care about every detail when it comes to something.
you dont wanna sound like a nerd or you talk to much and bore her.

- Throw in questions to keep them going anything you can think of.. Even if you know the ansewer ask but make shure its not obvious to her that you already know....

-Watch some funny movies (Take this from a guy who it takes alot to get me to laugh) Find lines that are really humours i know it sounds dumb but if you can make a joke about something relating to a topic and you make her laugh that makes her feel really good... Thats what women look for in men what makes them feel good. Try some of my personal tactics see if they work for you

 

[Walden]

Your brain does not yet know where your abilities are and therefore it does not know what you expect of yourself.
In these situations you are going out hoping to "meet women".

This gives your brain very wide parameters to work within.

I found one way to improve my consistency was to have very specific goals for performance , like to get "X" number of new phone numbers in a week.

This gives you very narrow parameters to stick to , and your brian goes from giving you excuses to making your conscience tell you to play harder.

 

[WestCoaster]

It's tough to keep the DJ groove going

I've often felt myself slipping in and out of the DJ mind-set. Luckily of late it's been more on than off, but it's never been 100 percent on.

I really get in the DJ mind-set when I'm receiving positive feedback from my work, my outside activities (i.e., working out is going well; I'm not injured); and when people are reacting positively towards me.

When negative influences come in such as work isn't going well, my health is bad, and I've had bad interactions with people, my confidence slips.

This site, some self-help books, music, and working out keeps me in the DJ mode.

It's natural to slip in and out of the DJ mode. Just don't panic when it happens. Just work on getting your groove back. And don't let any woman dictate your feelings of self-worth.