Whoever blinks first, loses?

[beginnerDJ]

So there's this girl, who used to flake out on me on the second date, but I played it cool and hung on, so now we've been out the 4th time, and I'm starting to get the feeling that there needs to be some closure to this.

After quite a few times I've been out with a person.....I feel that you either need to get closer, or abort. And usually a spark is what does it.

She's been ok so far, not an extreme high interest level, but its there, I can feel it in my gut. Picks up my calls and messages, and pretty consistent after that flaky second date. Plenty of kino and so on.

So its like both of us are standing off and keeping it cool, i get the feeling that whoever breaks first loses this "game", and I'm pretty good at keeping it cool. So the question is, how do I bring it to another level without losing my cool?

Thanks guys.

 

[OpenMind]

Back off, let her call you.. if her interest level in you is as high as you think, she will chase you.. then you will know.. after 4 dates you should be able to read her interest level in you.. you just have to keep a clear head and disregard your interest level in her because at this point it is unimportant.. good luck

 

[OpenMind]

And by the way... how much time passes between contact with her? a couple days, a week? this is important.. the longer you let time go by before you contact her.. if she has high interest it will rise dramatically with less contact.. just my 2 cents.. good luck!

 

[beginnerDJ]

Well,

Actually she is kind of a cold person so its hard for me to imagine her ever chasing somebody. I've heard about her behaviour with guys she doesnt like and they dont get any consistency from her at all.

My gut says the interest level is there, just that she is kind of shy and reserved to make any real moves. So basically what I do is lead her to do things with me and that seems alright.

Well we basically SMS or IM each other like 2 or 3 days, the last date I had with her was last thurs and tonight's date is on the tues after.

 

[beginnerDJ]

upz

 

[ASav]

Originally posted by beginnerDJ


After quite a few times I've been out with a person.....I feel that you either need to get closer, or abort. And usually a spark is what does it.

I agree with this wholeheartedly. If its just a sexual thing then you will get in there within the first few dates. If you really like the girl and want to spend time with her then you can be more patient and really work out how MUCH time you want to spend with her.

She's been ok so far, not an extreme high interest level, but its there, I can feel it in my gut. Picks up my calls and messages, and pretty consistent after that flaky second date. Plenty of kino and so on.

So its like both of us are standing off and keeping it cool, i get the feeling that whoever breaks first loses this "game", and I'm pretty good at keeping it cool. So the question is, how do I bring it to another level without losing my cool?

Thanks guys.

Send her an email to come to a party with a note. It might take up a precious "weekend" night lol but it has worked at rekindling things.

Confucious say: A decisive move on your part will put her in your corner.

 

[TooColdUlrick]

i say blink first on this one. kick it up just a bit--KISS HER! if she responds. chill. bump her up again. chill. bump her up again. chill. fvck her brains out. chill... you know the drill...

if she freaks, step way back. chill... you know the drill...

plus, it seems like you're not too hot for her, so who cares? just stay cool.

don't EVER expect her, or any woman to "make a real move". as the MAN, that's your job. enjoy it and do it well. KISS HER for god's sake. my apologies if you already have.

most of the time, he who blinks first, actually wins. i guess it depends on what you consider "blinking" is.

 

[beginnerDJ]

Well usually for this kinda girls I tend to take it REAL SLOWWW..... as I cant guage their interest level that accurately, just a general feeling thats all.

Been pretty much chilling all this time so I'm a little lost at the moment. Of course I could get aggressive and do the good 'ol 2 steps forward and 1 step back approach.

 

[beginnerDJ]

upz