Who "enjoys" approaching women?

Discussion in 'The Hall of Excellence' started by Interested2, Oct 8, 2001.

  1. bashful

    bashful Banned

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    just to add to this:


    What do girls friends ask 1st when a girl says she met someone?????


    Yep you know it......."is he cute?"


    Thats all girls care about at this age.
     
  2. timmy124

    timmy124 Senior Don Juan

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    I have to agree on this, bashful is correct from my point of view. If you don't have the looks, you are just going to be classified as a friend.

    If a 5 comes up and talks to you, has a great personality, but no looks, do you consider her a possible date?

    I think not.

    What about a 9 with a great personality? Thought so.

    I'm not a bad looking guy, I consider myself a 7-8 on occassions, and this girl I know gives me an 8.5, I'm very witty and charming, Very humorous, and have lots of social proof and friends.

    So I'm not looking at it from i'm an desperate and looks only matter point of view.

    My post is based upon my experience as to what has happened to me, what I have witnessed,and what I do to filter friends, from lovers.

    Tim
     
  3. bclarke675

    bclarke675 Master Don Juan

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    This is where women and men differ. Men place a lot more importance on looks. Women care about whether the man does the most with what he has, but not about the basic package. This friend I mentioned earlier is a good example of this.

    To Bashful: He does have a lot of time on his hands...he is a lead singer in a local band, plus runs four karaoke shows a week. It's part of his job to play the women to make them want to take part in the karaoke shows. The guys will naturally take part. I wouldn't say he's concerned with picking up chicks...it's kind of a hobby for him, 'cause he can. And he's good at it! I never hear him whine, like some of your posts have.

    Anyway, my point is that if a man can be funny and ****y, and has done the basics to make his appearance as good as possible, he can approach any women anytime and be successful. I've seen too many guys do it, and they all have the ****y/funny combo in common.
     
  4. Interested2

    Interested2 Don Juan

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    Good question. Why don't I like approaching? Complex. Obvioulsy I do not like rejection - though I have to date had many many of them!!*LOL* But I think there is more to it. I haven't so far particularly enjoyed the process of talking to new male friends either. I guess I am not comfortable so far talking to strangers. I suppose I dont like negative responses when I meet people.
     
  5. TylerDurden

    TylerDurden Don Juan

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    It's not the easiest thing to do but you have to do it. No one likes rejection. That's how some guys miss out on opportunity. They let a good thing pass them by. Rejection is a B**ch though!
     
  6. Pook

    Pook Master Don Juan

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    I love approaching women! Here's a way to look at it:

    We are all in constant self-improvement. Our past selves are always less evolved then our present form. Let us see the difference between Pook Version 1.2 and Pook Version 2.9.

    Pook Version 1.2

    In this version of Pook, we find that he is shedding off that Nice Guy straitjacket. He knows he ought to approach. Unfortunately, he sees it as a chore.

    So enters a beautiful chick. Poor Pook feels himself freezing up. He bites the bullet and goes talk to her.

    "Hi."
    "Hello."
    "So... what you up to?"
    "Just grocery shopping. Ran out of food, got to get some more, you know?" (Pause) "You?"
    "Oh... The same. Well, cya."

    No, you are quite correct, this was pathetic. At the time, my mind did not think this. Rather, I was thinking, "You have accomplished your mission. You have approached the chick. Well done."

    With that type of thinking, no wonder I wasn't having any fun!

    Pook Version 2.9

    Now let us see how a more recent version of Pook.

    Enters a beautiful woman in the bread section of the store.
    I approach. "So, you like bread too!"
    She laughs. "Yes."
    "Here, try this one!" I toss some bread at her.
    "Potato bread!? No, I don't think so." Laughing, she puts it back.
    Now I say, "Have you seen (X) product? Don't just stand there! Come on!" I take her hand and we go across the store.

    Now, this Pook is crazy. She gives him her number. What is the difference between 2.9's mind and 1.2's mind?

    The difference is,

    1) The earlier Pook saw the approach as the WOMAN to be the prize to be won. The later Pook saw HIMSELF as the prize. The early Pook saw the approach as a mission, the later pook saw the approach as an opportunity for fun.

    2) The earlier Pook tries to make things fun for the woman and fails. The later Pook doesn't care and focuses on HIS feelings, in other words, he has fun himself.

    The early Pook thinks, "Oh my. I hope I am doing things correctly. Is she smiling? Is she keeping eye contact? Is SHE having fun?"

    The later Pook thinks, "Wheeeeeeeeeeee!"

    Have fun! To hell with formulas and rules. As long as I have fun, what does it matter if she rejects me or not? I think, "Well, she doesn't know how to have fun!"

    Focus on having fun then on avoiding the pain of rejection or loneliness. The carrot is more attractive to her then the stick.

    Quit taking this so seriously! These are GIRLS. GIRLS! What are they going to do to you? Beat you up?

    You like having fun, right? Then do it! Be playful. Be crazy. Do what makes YOU have fun, and see if she'll go along for the ride.

    No more nervousness! No more shyness! Those originate in you worrying how you will be percieved. Rather, everything is in how you percieve yourself.

    This makes the difference.

    ------------------
    Pook
    "As you think, you shall become."
    "The biggest risk you can take is not to risk at all."
     
  7. bashful

    bashful Banned

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    your funny pook. Fact: theres no way you'll get your foot in the door romantically without looks homeboy. wake up! you can add that macking stuff if you want to, but really if you think about it, with looks, girls dont care too much about your personality at this age. They'll work with you, to open you up. Just look good first.
     
  8. Pook

    Pook Master Don Juan

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    Looks are more important to YOUNGER women. High school and college girls are more looks oriented.

    "girls dont care too much about your personality at this age."

    And what age are you speaking of, Bashful?

    You'll be surprised how far a steady confidence will take you.

    But I know this will not convince you. You think you've lost the lottery of life. I have some questions...

    How can you be happy in a relationship if you're not happy being single?

    If you want to be judged for your personality and not looks, do you, likewise, judge girls for their personalities and not their looks?

    Whatever standards you have for women, they must be applied to yourself as well. Do you pursue a chick's personality or her looks?

    I've been seeing this attitude of "It's all looks! Boo hoo! Woe is me!" If I had that same attitude, I'd be sitting in front of my computer every night, getting drunk, as my heart shrivels in the acid of bitterness.

    Bashful, I have no sympathy for you. WOMEN are judged on looks much more harshly. When a fat chick whines, "Guys are just after looks!" You know what I say to them? "What are you going to do about it?" Usually these chicks either work out, make themselves thinner and more attractive or they turn into a militant feminist with a bitter excuse of a heart.

    By letting their responses guide your actions, you are being shaped by your environment- in other words being feminine. This isn't attractive in any situation or age.

    You are your destiny! What you do today shapes tomorrow. Think, dream, and never lose the name of action!

    Three months from now, I want to come on this forum, and I want to see a post by Bashful saying, "Guys, this chick I am with IS AWESOME! Geez, I feel like the greatest guy in the world!"

    You may think that's unrealistic. But on the Don Juan Forum, it happens all the time. Now its time for it to happen to you. But it will never come without ACTION and proper mindset.

    We're behind you.

    ------------------
    Pook
    "As you think, you shall become."
    "The biggest risk you can take is not to risk at all."
     
  9. bashful

    bashful Banned

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    Okay this Pook guy is completly clueless, let me help you out lil buddy.


    what age am i? 21


    I am happy being single, ive been single 3/4's of my life.

    I dont persue girls anymore. It gets boring after awhile. Maybe ill start up again. But I always get the same result, i can almost predict if a girl will reject me or not. Its pretty cool phycic stuff.


    First off, unlike you, and mostly all girls out there in the world. I dont judge people. If she's nice, and she knows how to treat a man, unlike pretty girls whom are selfish. You will get somewhere with me.

    You say i have this ATTITUDE about looks get girls. You fool! looks do get girls!!! Boo Hoo? who's boo hoo'ing, i havent cried over a girl my whole life. Their not worth it.

    I could care less if you dont have simpathy for me. Im not here for your simpathy. LOL...ookkaay, now onto the other part of your comment. Oh, girls are judged more harshly on looks??!!!! HAA!!!!!! oh my God!! okay, now i finally got that good laugh i needed today. You are completely clueless. Girls care only about Looks, how buff you are, how cute you are in the face, do you resemble anyone famous that is cute. That way they can brag to their friends. Whats the first things girls say when they met someone? ....Is he cute?? Theeeennnn personality comes into play. Girls say ( fact) looks get your foot into the door but personality keeps it open. Look at it a differnt way little buddy, If you dont have looks, dont come'a'knockin.


    Shaped by the enviroment??? Thats what you guys are doing! your tryin to change yourself to fit what girls are looking for. Me, i have integrity, i could care less about what PEOPLE think of me....oh yea and girls. Why?? because im me.


    You say you want me to come on here 3 months ago and say" hey this chick im with is awesome, i feel like the greatest guy in the world"????


    Hmmm how come i dont have a girl and unlike you and can say i feel like the greatest guy in the world???? Geezz Pook, wheres your self esteem? you need a girl to feel like the greatest guy in the world.


    You could use some counseling.
     
  10. Don the Legend

    Don the Legend Master Don Juan

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    Bash,

    Then why are you here? You don't use the advice given to you. You have all the answers to life. You are 21 and you know everything a woman is looking for and what works to get them. Then I suppose 99% of the other DJ's are wrong and you are right. Sad!!

    Please answer my question, then why are you here? What's your point? You trying to convert all the DJ's that your ideas are better than the knowledge on this board? If this doesn't work for 1% of the people, meaning you, then I would take those odds that this does work. You are right Bashful, this site is not for you. Stick with the successes you are achieving. You are right and we are wrong. I hope you find a board that suits you better.

    Good Luck,

    Legend

    ------------------
    "Do not fear failure." George S. Patton

    "Do not make excuses, whether it s your fault or not."....George S. Patton

    "Anyone in any walk of life who is content with mediocrity is untrue to himself and the American way." ... George S. Patton
     
  11. Pook

    Pook Master Don Juan

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    "First off, unlike you, and mostly all girls out there in the world. I dont judge people. If she's nice, and she knows how to treat a man, unlike pretty girls whom are selfish."

    Why judge that pretty girls are selfish? B*tches come in all shape and size. I've found most pretty girls, just like most people in general, are nice.

    "Whats the first things girls say when they met someone? ....Is he cute?? Theeeennnn personality comes into play"

    In order to be romantic with anyone, they must be sexually attracted to you. The cutest guys can fail with women while the skankiest guys can get them. Why? Because we have a social form as well as a physical form. There is much much more then looks involved, even for that first audition.

    "Shaped by the enviroment??? Thats what you guys are doing! your tryin to change yourself to fit what girls are looking for. Me, i have integrity, i could care less about what PEOPLE think of me....oh yea and girls. Why?? because im me."

    No, that is what the speed seducers do when they take her emotions and feed it back to her.

    I believe we haven't even SCRATCHED the surface on our own individual potential. Each of us, individually, can accomplish so much! From your career, to your hobbies, and to the realm of dating. We should always strive to be better then who we are.

    "Geezz Pook, wheres your self esteem? you need a girl to feel like the greatest guy in the world."

    Not at all! I'm sure everyone knew what I was referring to, that you would be so happy and in awe of the happiness that life can bring.

    Bashful, every former nice guy had to go through the toughest stage. It is letting go of your artificial romantic visions.

    You say that Bashful is right and the world is wrong. But what if the world is right and Bashful is wrong?

    Every Don Juan knows that Nature governs the realm of dating. You cannot defy Nature, you can only embrace her and thrive within her rules.

    This is a very hard thing to do. To let go of all the 'Nice Guy visions' and to realize that Nature has the last say. All social philosophies have Nature pulling the rug from under them.

    Why is it that most first divorces end with the woman detesting the guy but the guy adoring the woman? Why is it that Nice Guys finish last? Why do girls choose jerks over nice guys?

    The answer are found within nature herself.

    This is the toughest phase to go through. Some become so bitter that they do turn into jerks. I remember how painful it was for me when I had to go through it, to realize that all my thoughts of life and romance were wrong. (I remember when Anti-Dump first started posting on this forum and everyone, including me, thinking how harsh he was. Now I look at his posts and think he wasn't that harsh at all)

    It will be tough. But I am here for you. We all are.

    ------------------
    Pook
    "As you think, you shall become."
    "The biggest risk you can take is not to risk at all."
     
  12. Gipper

    Gipper Master Don Juan

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    Well said! Why are you here, Bashful?
     
  13. Persistant

    Persistant Senior Don Juan

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    Ya I wanna know too.

    And another thing. Pook, I spent 4 hours at Compusa lookin for the version 2.9 software but couldnt find it. Where'd ya get it?
     
  14. Interested2

    Interested2 Don Juan

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    Pook

    I am moving out of the 1.2 version at the moment. Hence this post. I figure if I can learn to enjoy the process a bit more my success rate will go up.

    thanks
     
  15. bashful

    bashful Banned

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    I come in here to argue points just like the rest of you. I argue points because what you guys say dont apply to what happens in real life situations. And its so funny that you call yourselves DOn Juans.....why dont you just call yourselves what your name is? I mean, be real with yourselves.


    otherwise, i think the bravest thing A PERSON could do is be himself in the most stressful of times in dating. NOT TO CHANGE HIMSELF, if you were the kind that grew up respecting girls and treating them good. Continue to do so. Those kind are what YOU PEOPLE consider Nice guys. If you you are a nice guy and you get treated bad by some girl who was dumb enough to leave you for some badboy, then so be it. Let her go, she wasnt for you anyways. I had to go through that. She wasnt mature enough to handle someone that would treat her good. Still, that doesnt mean, just cause the jerk got the girl, you should change. The jerk got a very stupid,immature girl.

    Try to have the maturity to remain the MAN you once were. Dont change your outlook on all girls just cause of what one girl did to you.

    Yea, its true, girls around this age go mostly for looks. Yea they go for a guy with a reputation of getting girls. But that doesnt mean you should change.

    You guys say your only bettering yourselves by acting this way,but all your doing is putting on an act. you all are only doing what you think is what girls want from a guy. Thats so pathetic to me. You should have some pride and dignity. Have some integrity.

    Love yourself for who you are, dont change ( or what you guys say lol"better yourself") just because a girl likes you that way.

    But i guess whatever gets you guys ass you will do,huh.

    Pathetic, just Pathetic.

    Just sayin whats on my mind. You dont have to like it.
     
  16. bashful

    bashful Banned

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    p.s.

    And you all get nice guys mixed up with being a loser. someone who is easy for a girl to walk over. No, No , NO!!!!!! that would be a DESPERATE nice guy. Im not a DESPERATE nice guy. I know how to treat a girl good. Yet, im not DESPERATE. I know if a girl doesnt respect me, ill kick her to the curb. And hard. I had to dump my first girlfriend cause she thought she could walk all over me. She got a quick reality check. And came crying back. Ive never been desperate. Im not weak.....just cause your under the nice guy status doesnt mean you dont have a tough side, it doesnt mean you dont have a perverted side. It doesnt mean you dont have a wild side.

    You guys need to live life, cause you judge too much without knowing the whole deal.
     
  17. ESPN

    ESPN Master Don Juan

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    What a moron!
     
  18. Deagleclaw

    Deagleclaw Master Don Juan

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    God, Bashful, you're still so negative. I haven't been around much for about 4 months now, I thought you would have learned to change the attitude.

    You still allow your failures to dominate your mindset. While women as friends (to be used for social proof) may help you get women, it won't if they think of you as a "Nice Guy".

    You still think it's all about looks. You are soooooooo wrong. Confidence, Power, Control, Mystery, Challenge... that's what it's about.

    As for picking up women. I enjoy it. I used to hate it when I wasn't any good at it. I'd say a few words, not know what to say next, long pauses, awkward gestures, the seeya later maneuver. Bad. I was totally disgusted with myself when I botched it. But as I pushed on and learned technique and fine tuned it... I got better and better and bam. I love it these days. Because I know how to do it. Sure I still get rejections. Do I care? No. Once you start rejecting girls yourself, you'll realize just how little it should affect you. If these chicks over here don't like me, let's see about those chicks over there...

    The key to enjoying it, is success. But you can't be successful until you've LEARNED from your MISTAKES. if you continue to make the same mistakes you're not learning, are you.

    If you don't learn now, one day you're going to encounter a woman you're meant to be with and not know what to do... and she'll slip through your fingers.

    Hope you improve your game Bashful.
    Deagleclaw out

    P.S... After writing the above I read a reply you wrote to Pook.
    <E-Slap Bashful> upside the back of the head for questioning the wisdom of the POOK and all the other DJ's who DO Know what they're talking about! You wanna be a loser your whole life, fine by me.
    Oh yeah, by loser, because I know you're gonna rant and rave about "you call me a loser cuz I don't chase after women all day", I mean loser in the sense that you have no grip on reality, live your life in a fairy tale fictional environment where women can tell you're the man of their dreams from afar because you're a romantic heart. Loser as in, you'll never win because you don't know the rules of the game... hell you don't even know what game you're playing.
    This isn't Nintendo, like Pook said, this is NATURAL SELECTION. And it's losers like you that never pass their genes on cuz hookers have abortions.
    That being said... don't post again until you have something positive to say.
    ------------------
    No matter what comes, walk like a man. - Al Lan Mandragoran (Wheel of Time)

    [This message has been edited by Deagleclaw (edited 10-24-2001).]
     
  19. ESPN

    ESPN Master Don Juan

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    That's fu*king cruel.
     
  20. roadwarrior

    roadwarrior Don Juan

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    Interesting post.

    Pook, as usual you make some excellent points.

    Bsahful, I agree with some of what you say, but I feel your pessimism is clouding your overall outlook somewhat.

    Myself...I love approaching women! I actually prefer approaching a female stranger over a male...big time. I find women, in many ways, so much easier to talk to.

    GUYS, STOP TRYING SO HARD TO PICK UP WOMEN!!!
    By approaching women with this attitude, you severely reduce the chances of success. No matter how good a DJ you are, how smooth your technique...etc., women have seen it all before. Sure, you may have successes and probably many failures, some more than others, no doubt. These failures are a major factor contributing to your hesitation in approaching the next woman. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT!!

    I love women!! I consider most of them to be a cornucopia of knowledge, wit and charm. They love to chat!! Talk to them...get to know them...find out their likes and dislikes. Question them about their dreams and aspirations. Stop focusing so much on trying to get that number.

    Women tell me I have a wonderful smile and beautiful eyes. I always SMILE a lot when I'm in the presence of women. It comes naturally for me because I, quite simply, thoroughly enjoy being with women. How could I possibly not be smiling???LOL.

    I never ASK a woman for her number. If there is a mutual attraction, I tell her to give me her number. More often than not, however, she will offer me her number first.

    Women approach me now more than they ever have before in my lifetime. Many want friendship only. That's fine by me. Women can make wonderful friends. Many others want relationships with me. That's fine as well.

    STOP PURSING WOMEN!! ATTRACT THEM!!! LET THEM PURSUE YOU!!! IT WORKS LIKE MAGIC.
     

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