When it comes to the battle of SMV, who really wins in the end, men or women?

[Ambitious Player]

What do you guys define as "early years"?

I would like to know.

 

[Mike32ct]

What do you guys define as "early years"?

I would like to know.

16 to say 24-25

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Yes and yes. Having sex late was no big deal. It's natural and pretty straightforward. The problem is missing all that critical dating and relationship EXPERIENCE and the confidence that comes from it from those early years. That can never be replaced. And as I said, hearing about EVERY female your buddy made out with, fingered, and F-ed is not easy either.

ya, George Sodini said this quote which I sympathize with "I see 20-something couples everywhere. I see a 20-something guy with a nice 20ish young women. I think those years slipped right by for me. Why should I continue another 20+ years alone?"

Although I don't condone what he did, I feel for the pain he went through, In the note found at the scene in Sodini's gym bag, he complains he had never spent a weekend with a woman, never vacationed with a woman and never lived with a woman, and that he had had limited sexual experiences.

and as for my definition of early years, I consider accomplishing these feats before you turn 21, maybe to some extent before age 23-24

 

[Mike32ct]

ya, George Sodini said this quote which I sympathize with "I see 20-something couples everywhere. I see a 20-something guy with a nice 20ish young women. I think those years slipped right by for me. Why should I continue another 20+ years alone?"

Although I don't condone what he did, I feel for the pain he went through, In the note found at the scene in Sodini's gym bag, he complains he had never spent a weekend with a woman, never vacationed with a woman and never lived with a woman, and that he had had limited sexual experiences.

and as for my definition of early years, I consider accomplishing these feats before you turn 21, maybe to some extent before age 23-24

Sodini worked out, tanned, and had money, but he was not good looking, and he was no longer youthful looking. Plus his confidence took a massive hit due to a ridiculous dry spell of many, many years. So his effective SMV was quite low despite his efforts.

I'm happy to discuss late bloomer stuff in another thread if someone like Yaeger wants to start one. I think we're going off on too much of a tanget in this thread.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Sodini worked out, tanned, and had money, but he was not good looking, and he was no longer youthful looking. Plus his confidence took a massive hit due to a ridiculous dry spell of many, many years. So his effective SMV was quite low despite his efforts.

I'm happy to discuss late bloomer stuff in another thread if someone like Yaeger wants to start one. I think we're going off on too much of a tanget in this thread.

ya, it's like a mans SMV is similar to a persons job market value, employers are reluctant to hire somebody who has been out of work, unemployed for a long time, has resume gaps, or don't want to hire the inexperienced, seems like the same applies to men. Hence that's why Sodini's SMV declined significantly due to his dry spell

 

[Mike32ct]

ya, it's like a mans SMV is similar to a persons job market value, employers are reluctant to hire somebody who has been out of work, unemployed for a long time, has resume gaps, or don't want to hire the inexperienced, seems like the same applies to men. Hence that's why Sodini's SMV declined significantly due to his dry spell

Correct. I mean it's not that women SPECIFALLY KNOW that a guy hasn't gotten laid in a long time (or ever). But the guy's confidence can fall apart over time, and he can stop believing that he's CAPABLE of getting laid. Then the guy becomes depressed, frustrated, etc. This, plus lack of good looks can easily equal major CREEPY points to women. Maybe the dude views porn too. (That kicks up the creepy factor too.) Sprinkle in some really quiet introversion traits too, and it's all over.

So even if such a guy has a decent TEXTBOOK SMV like decent build, good job, 20s to 40s age, etc., his effective SMV is still very low.

 

[Ambitious Player]

Wow guys this is some scary ****. Being a young dude (early 20s here) who is in his final semester of college I have seen it all play out for myself. I want to post a thread one day about the "hook up culture" in college and how it is a major lie because the truth is that most guys in college are not getting laid, especially not from above average to hot girls.

It's painful too. Seeing beautiful girls all around campus but knowing that they want absolutely nothing to do with you because you aren't a high status guy or a guy with male model looks. Then you have the media making men more and more depressed with this hookup culture crap when most guys I talk to are not getting laid in college.

Just seeing how the media hypes up college has ****ed me up mentally because I have not lived close to that experience. Then morons say "durrrr u couldn't get laid in college? durrrr whats the matter with you u durrr".

Now I can finally see why a lot of these Red Pill bloggers are so dark with their writings because they have lived through this ****. Some of these guys have tried to make a productive living and contribute to society only to have that society spit at them, laugh at them, and make fun of them. I would not resort to doing something like writing misogynistic stuff but as I grow older and see stuff play out it almost makes me see what these guys must have gone through when they were younger.

My biggest fear now is if I will ever be happy. All I really want is a cool social circle of friends my age and an opportunity to hook up with hot girls but I know after college that is just asking for too much here in America because most people get married, have jobs, and don't really want to engage in the social life. They get it out of their systems in college.

Just that feeling of unfairness. The feeling that you were put into the octagon and forced to fight with your hands tied. The feeling that you never even had the chance to make anything of yourself socially because you grew up so differently (homeschooled for example) than kids your age.

 

[zekko]

My biggest fear now is if I will ever be happy. All I really want is a cool social circle of friends my age and an opportunity to hook up with hot girls but I know after college that is just asking for too much here in America because most people get married, have jobs, and don't really want to engage in the social life.

Dude, if you listen to our side of the argument, you should take heart because your value will increase as you get older and things will get better. You're going to college now, so presumably you have some sort of plan for your life, which is a good thing. You're still on the journey, you haven't reached your destination yet. Make yourself successful, stay in shape, and the women will be there.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Wow guys this is some scary ****. Being a young dude (early 20s here) who is in his final semester of college I have seen it all play out for myself. I want to post a thread one day about the "hook up culture" in college and how it is a major lie because the truth is that most guys in college are not getting laid, especially not from above average to hot girls.

It's painful too. Seeing beautiful girls all around campus but knowing that they want absolutely nothing to do with you because you aren't a high status guy or a guy with male model looks. Then you have the media making men more and more depressed with this hookup culture crap when most guys I talk to are not getting laid in college.

Just seeing how the media hypes up college has ****ed me up mentally because I have not lived close to that experience. Then morons say "durrrr u couldn't get laid in college? durrrr whats the matter with you u durrr".

Now I can finally see why a lot of these Red Pill bloggers are so dark with their writings because they have lived through this ****. Some of these guys have tried to make a productive living and contribute to society only to have that society spit at them, laugh at them, and make fun of them. I would not resort to doing something like writing misogynistic stuff but as I grow older and see stuff play out it almost makes me see what these guys must have gone through when they were younger.

My biggest fear now is if I will ever be happy. All I really want is a cool social circle of friends my age and an opportunity to hook up with hot girls but I know after college that is just asking for too much here in America because most people get married, have jobs, and don't really want to engage in the social life. They get it out of their systems in college.

Just that feeling of unfairness. The feeling that you were put into the octagon and forced to fight with your hands tied. The feeling that you never even had the chance to make anything of yourself socially because you grew up so differently (homeschooled for example) than kids your age.

ya even if our value as men supposedly increases as we age, it's gonna feel awkward well deep into your 30's and beyond, and you want to go Vegas with your girlfriend and go to Encore Beachclub and all those other events, being filled with 20-something couples, which will feel kinda awkward, remind you of something you missed out on

 

[Jaylan]

Dude, if you listen to our side of the argument, you should take heart because your value will increase as you get older and things will get better. You're going to college now, so presumably you have some sort of plan for your life, which is a good thing. You're still on the journey, you haven't reached your destination yet. Make yourself successful, stay in shape, and the women will be there.

Heres the thing, there are guys in this thread and out in the world, who want the fun party hookup culture while they are young. They want to spend their teens and 20s experiencing it. Why? Because many have other plans for their 30s and 40s (some do wanna settle down rather than party at that age). And others simply want to use their younger years to their fullest now, and not put it off until their older. They want to do these things with young peers and with the reckless abandon that comes with youth.

Which is exactly why you see many guys saying they feel like they have missed out on stuff.

But at the end of the day, a lot of people miss out on certain things in life. Not everyone gets to do exactly what they want to do at the time they wanted to do it. I have things I wanted to have done before 25 that I didnt get done. But life is spontaneity and cannot be planned exactly. Some guys just have a hard time accepting that the young hookup culture maybe just wasnt for them.

So telling them to wait until their older is no consolation.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Heres the thing, there are guys in this thread and out in the world, who want the fun party hookup culture while they are young. They want to spend their teens and 20s experiencing it. Why? Because many have other plans for their 30s and 40s (some do wanna settle down rather than party at that age). And others simply want to use their younger years to their fullest now, and not put it off until their older. They want to do these things with young peers and with the reckless abandon that comes with youth.

Which is exactly why you see many guys saying they feel like they have missed out on stuff.

But at the end of the day, a lot of people miss out on certain things in life. Not everyone gets to do exactly what they want to do at the time they wanted to do it. I have things I wanted to have done before 25 that I didnt get done. But life is spontaneity and cannot be planned exactly. Some guys just have a hard time accepting that the young hookup culture maybe just wasnt for them.

So telling them to wait until their older is no consolation.

ya, in a nutshell I guess we can't force or make things happen when we want it to happen, yes even though we take action because it's what is expected of us guys but doesn't mean it will always happen when we want it to happen, most of the time I think not

 

[backbreaker]

Heres the thing, there are guys in this thread and out in the world, who want the fun party hookup culture while they are young. They want to spend their teens and 20s experiencing it. Why? Because many have other plans for their 30s and 40s (some do wanna settle down rather than party at that age). And others simply want to use their younger years to their fullest now, and not put it off until their older. They want to do these things with young peers and with the reckless abandon that comes with youth.

Which is exactly why you see many guys saying they feel like they have missed out on stuff.

But at the end of the day, a lot of people miss out on certain things in life. Not everyone gets to do exactly what they want to do at the time they wanted to do it. I have things I wanted to have done before 25 that I didnt get done. But life is spontaneity and cannot be planned exactly. Some guys just have a hard time accepting that the young hookup culture maybe just wasnt for them.

So telling them to wait until their older is no consolation.

This might be the best post you've ever made on this website. great post.

I mean, break down what you said really. Guys saying I want what I want right now. That's what girls do. That's what kids do. We aren't kids and we aren't girls. Part of growing up is understanding and accepting you can't get everything when you want it how you want it where you want it.

The best and the ONLY thing you can do is to use what you have to the best of your ability.


When I was in the 11th grade I was dating this BAD ass black chick named Jessica. Like, she was out of my league. No question about it. She was a cheerleader, was tall, good looking, sexy as f. But I was cute and we met through my dad and one thing led to another and we started dating. To make along story really short, she found out my best friend was like, the all city shooting guard who everyone wanted and when we went on a double date one day she gave him her phone number and basically ended up giving him a blow job. I never forgave him for that and that was the beginning o the end of our friendship. But she threw herself at him.

I remember being pissed off.. not even at him, but just at life. Why the **** did I have to settle for scraps and left overs, why did I have to avoid taking chicks I was dating around my two best friends in fear that they would want them.. nothing was wrong with me. they were just more popular. One was popular for no other reason than he was 6'2 and could shoot from anywhere on the court. Wasn't smarter than me, wasn't really better looking than me, wasn't funnier than me, wasn't a better dresser than I was.. in fact i was smarter, i dressed better, i had a car a year before he did, i had a job a year before he did... yet he was getting all my ass. I wanted to enjoy it but i could not.

But you know what, I had an interest in computers. And while it sucked breaking down my computers and teaching myself how to setup RAID formats and **** while my best friend was off railing girls I pinned over, it paid off. once we got out of high school and basketball wasn't the big thing anymore, I started to seriously hold my own. I would not be caught dead with the girls that he was getting now 12 years later.


You can't go through life *****ing becuase you want **** right now. There's alot of **** that I feel I deserve that I don't have, or things that aren't fair but all you can do is put your head down and work to improve your situation.

 

[JoeMarron]

backbreaker just ended the thread. Golden post. Life is full of disappointments. Yes it sucks that some of us won't get to experience what other dudes did at younger ages. Oh well, there's nothing anyone can do about it but put all their effort into the now and make the most of it. backbreaker's quote says it all. There is absolutely nothing good that will come from dwelling on what you can't change.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

backbreaker just ended the thread. Golden post. Life is full of disappointments. Yes it sucks that some of us won't get to experience what other dudes did at younger ages. Oh well, there's nothing anyone can do about it but put all their effort into the now and make the most of it. backbreaker's quote says it all. There is absolutely nothing good that will come from dwelling on what you can't change.

Ya 4 years until I'm 30 and want to be able to experience this before I'm 30, want to make this a top priority and make other areas of my life secondary but I'm worried that will make me come across as desperate, if it was okay for me to make getting better with women or getting a pretty girlfriend my top priority, while everything else is secondary, I probably then wouldn't mind having to do the approaching and initiating, asking out, but wishing for stuff like this is like wishing Santa Claus was real, so obviously is not going to work, oh well, I can accept and deal with it but that doesn't mean I have to like it or enjoy it

 

[backbreaker]

This reminded me of this topic.

this really just happened i found out this morning. I go to NA meetings. Not often but I pop my head up a few times a month. THere is this girl there, she was a hard core crack smoker. HARD core. turned her life around, seriously turned her life around, starts doing outreach work, starts helping people get clean, gets about a year and a half clean, finally gets to see her son who disowned her while she was getting high, just got off parole for the first time in like forever..


then dies in her sleep. 40 years old. clean as a whistle. just dies. she gets clean, just to die.


life is not fair. if you were assuming otherwise, that's your problem

 

[JaegerPilot217]

This reminded me of this topic.

this really just happened i found out this morning. I go to NA meetings. Not often but I pop my head up a few times a month. THere is this girl there, she was a hard core crack smoker. HARD core. turned her life around, seriously turned her life around, starts doing outreach work, starts helping people get clean, gets about a year and a half clean, finally gets to see her son who disowned her while she was getting high, just got off parole for the first time in like forever..


then dies in her sleep. 40 years old. clean as a whistle. just dies. she gets clean, just to die.


life is not fair. if you were assuming otherwise, that's your problem

yup, like I said previously, wishing things were a certain way is like wishing Santa Claus was real, delusional fantasy there