When a chick asks, "What do you do?"

[manuva]

This question always comes up within a minute or two of opening a chick. It's a classic, great to have some fun with. A few of my fave responses:

- I light fires

- I sit in the park and watch small children

- I drive around in a big bus solving mysteries

- I pick fights with old ladies / homeless people

- I steal from charities

- I test dangerous cosmetics on cute furry animals

- I don't do anything; I have a trust fund. (watch chicks eyes light up when you tell them that lol)


I want to see what other funny sh*t people answer this question with.

 

[Logen]

these are great jokes to say. but i'd follow with a serious answer that's full of confidence and is goal oriented.

"i'm a business law grad working to get an internship at Prudential"

*watch here eys light up*

 

[LeviathanIYG]

Logen It is stupid to try and impress her by saying you have a good job.

Oh and my faviroute is

Her: What do you do?
Me: Im in the slave trade business you know import/export

 

[( . )( . )]

Good thread, and your dead right, the "what do you do" question is usually the 3rd sentence that comes out of the b!tches mouth and something I havent really given much thought on busting her balls with.

I'm stealing most of those, keep em coming.

I've used "I'm an ass model" (stolen) but thats about it.

 

[MacDiddy]

I bet you really get of on these jokes... You might think its funny, but a prospective chick would red flag you almost instantly...

 

[( . )( . )]

Originally posted by MacDiddy
I bet you really get of on these jokes... You might think its funny, but a prospective chick would red flag you almost instantly...

Please, no keyboard theories.

 

[Logen]

Originally posted by LeviathanIYG
Logen It is stupid to try and impress her by saying you have a good job.

if you say the joke first it shows her that you're both ****y funny and confident and goal oriented.

You just have to say it right

 

[MacDiddy]

Titty wrote:
Please, no keyboard theories.


Well, why don't you field test these "unproven jokes" that you have vouched for and get back to us on the double......

I prefer a less black in comedy approach such as

"I'm a cigarette lighter repair man"
"I work a burger king... I'm the employee of the month"

All field tested many times and all got me positive responses

 

[( . )( . )]

Originally posted by MacDiddy

Well, why don't you field test these "unproven jokes" that you have vouched for and get back to us on the double......

I have, I just said I did.

I've used "I'm an ass model" (stolen) but thats about it.

Trust me dude if shes getting turned off by you busting her on her question and turning it into a joke then your frame is totally fvcked (no offence) hence why I said "no keyboard theories" I guessed youve never done it, hence if you start the ball rolling this will be yet another legit thread turned into keyboard sh!t.

 

[MacDiddy]

Titty: I think you're a bit confused!!! I was referring to manuvas:
- I light fires
- I sit in the park and watch small children
- I drive around in a big bus solving mysteries
- I pick fights with old ladies / homeless people
- I steal from charities
- I test dangerous cosmetics on cute furry animals
- I don't do anything; I have a trust fund. (watch chicks eyes light up when you tell them that lol)

I've used variations of I'm an ass model many time, much to the delight of the opposite sex so I wasn't referring to that.

 

[LeviathanIYG]

Originally posted by Logen
if you say the joke first it shows her that you're both ****y funny and confident and goal oriented.

You just have to say it right

I know were you are coming from but trying to impress women with your occupation, money is not good.

 

[( . )( . )]

Originally posted by MacDiddy
Titty: I think you're a bit confused!!! I was referring to manuvas:
- I light fires
- I sit in the park and watch small children
- I drive around in a big bus solving mysteries
- I pick fights with old ladies / homeless people
- I steal from charities
- I test dangerous cosmetics on cute furry animals
- I don't do anything; I have a trust fund. (watch chicks eyes light up when you tell them that lol)

I've used variations of I'm an ass model many time, much to the delight of the opposite sex so I wasn't referring to that.

Ok you edited your post, so you have used similar stuff. I doubt this is the kind of thing you have to field test each and everyone though before posting them here dude, as long as its stupid, funny, sounds spontanious and shows your not qualifying yourself to her questions, anything and everything should work. You dig?

Carry on.

 

[MacDiddy]

I don't think "I sit in the park and watch small children" is gonna work.

so in reiterating, why don't you field test all these "Anything and Everything" that you vouched for and get back to us.

titty wrote:
Carry on

Pleasure...

 

[( . )( . )]

Originally posted by MacDiddy
I don't think "I sit in the park and watch small children" is gonna work.

I'd disagree , but whatever. Theres field testing and then theres just being anal retentive. The guy asked for some funny sh!t to say back to her, if you insist on each and everyone being field tested (which means you obviously are lacking the bigger picture on approaching chicks, its not what you say its how you say it, you can pretty much get away with anything believe it or not) then we are gonna have a pretty small list arent we?

 

[MacDiddy]

Now now titty.... don't get your bra in a knot... Its all about taste and its all about quality.. Our viewers deserve it!

quote: then we are gonna have a pretty small list arent we?

Yeah... I guess so....

 

[( . )( . )]

Originally posted by MacDiddy
Now now titty.... don't get your bra in a knot... Its all about taste and its all about quality

Jeeezzuz.

 

[JaguarMike]

why be ****y and funny when all she is trying to find out is if you are loaded. Tell her you own an accounting firm and she'll 100% go home with you at the end of the night... all young girls want are jerks, or jerks with money. Remember this... sighhhh

 

[diplomatic_lies]

Originally posted by JaguarMike
Tell her you own an accounting firm and she'll 100% go home with you at the end of the night

Yeah, but it's a bit hard to own an accounting firm at the age of 19

 

[PRMoon]

Originally posted by JaguarMike
why be ****y and funny when all she is trying to find out is if you are loaded. Tell her you own an accounting firm and she'll 100% go home with you at the end of the night... all young girls want are jerks, or jerks with money. Remember this... sighhhh

being ****y and humorous works wonders alot of the time I've seen plenty of buisness owners and complete jerks get shot down but at the same time I've seen them succeed as well. It's all luck of the draw in many circumstances. Ultimately we all play a numbers game and learn to take our losses in stride. What we've all learned (or some of us rather) is hot to optmize our chances for success and minimize our probablity of failure.

Originally posted by LeviathanIYG
I know were you are coming from but trying to impress women with your occupation, money is not good.

This isn't necessarily true. Women like security and a man who's got his life on track.

And you're not necessarily telling them what you do to impress them. If you have a good job and life goals you're just telling them who you are, to do otherwise would be foolish. Now if you're lying to make yourself look better THAT would not be good because you based the whole thing on a lie. If you just want to take a girl home for a night then who cares what you say to them because you're only after one thing and truth really isn't that big of a deal. However if you're trying to forge a relationship then you don't want to start it off by lying.

 

[Tyron]

The thing with answering credentials is that you try to present your status in society and use it as a way to get her instead of using your personality. I prefer personality, even though I agree that credentials are integral part of why women choose long term partners. However, if you can get past seduction phase then you can present your credientals. At this time if you don't have any,she already likes you as you are, and if you do have something it only counts towards you.

Note that most of the guys will also give the credentials when asked which doesn't make you any special. But if you REALLY are an astronaut or a real estate miljonare then there might be some more value to it, in my opinion. However most of people are quite average when it comes to that else it wouldnt be special.

And answering with c+f doesn't make women think you don't have any credentials. They become curious and it makes them smile. I just don't see why someone without any true credentials would present them instead of funny lines or just changing subject.

And for the original poster, some of those lines are a bit disturbing and wont be funny. I would be very careful. Some of the time you might get "ouh that's mean" answer but i wouldn't take the risk when there are better options, most of the time.