What would you do?

[Fuglydude]

Hey all...been a long time since I've posted...but I'd like to get your thoughts on something thats' been bothering me.

I'm currently in an LTR, and its going amazing...she's everything I could ever want and more, and we're fortunate to have a relationship that I think most people would be quite envious of. We can talk about anything and everything freely, and anytime we do have arguments, its resolved within a day or so. We can sit there all day/night and just talk for hours, and the sex with her is pretty damn amazing too...In short, we just click, and she helps me to become a better person.

I'm extremely honest and open, because I think trust is huge in a relationship, especially because of our situation: I am a part time stripper...she's ok with this, because she knows that I'm extremely loyal, and that she's the only one I wanna be with. I know that most girls could never date me seriously and consider me for an LTR because of what I do, and what I'm like.

I'd like to get your opinions on what to tell her regarding what goes on at stagettes/bacholerette parties that I perform at. I'm very professional and would never try and mess around with any of the girls that I perform for...but it does get quite sexual at those events at times... example: last one i performed at was in a private hotel room with 9 girls...nothing below a HB7 among the group. The bride-to-be was a model, and at one point i picked her up with her legs wrapped around my head pretending to eat her snatch. At another point the bride-to-be's lil sister was diggin her nails in to my bare back and smacking my ass while i grinded her on a chair. I've never had that much fun working before...i swear I have the funnest job in the world.

I've had stagettes where chics will put a tip between my cack and balls with their mouth...I could go on and on with the stories... Needless to say, I really dont think any girl would be comfortable with their guy being treated that way by other women. I'd be lying if I say some of that stuff didn't legitimately turn me on. My gf says what bothers her the most about me doing private gigs is when I actually find the girls and what goes on during my performance sexually appealing...

Given my natural candor, I feel compelled to tell her what goes on... of course I don't do this in great detail. For example, for the last one I performed at I just told her that the girls were really attractive and really into me...

I guess what I'd like to get is opinions on what you'd tell her if you were in my shoes...this is my first LTR, so I don't really know what I'm doing...

 

[Phyzzle]

If these are the kinds of problems you have . . . WTF were you searching for when you found Sosuave?

But I'll throw down some common sense: while women naturally want the guy the other girls want, you have to be subtle. Everyone, including your girl, will do this when you try to puff yourself up and explicitly brag about how model hot chicks are all over your shaft (hint hint).

 

[jophil28]

Hey Strip Guy, I accept that YOU believe that you have a legit problem with telling your G/f about your antics at chick parties BUT give us a break, there are real men on this board with REAL dilemmas.
Prancing around in front of a bunch of crocked femmes is not my definition of a 'postable' problem.
As far as your last sentence goes, "..what you (we) would tell her if you were in my shoes." --
I cannot speak for the other regulars here,but I would NEVER put myself in your position.
HOw demeaning for a grown man to be the "entertainment" for women in those circumstances.

Yawn !

 

[joekerr31]

not enough information.

if your gf is a normal girl with a normal job, then ultimately this stripper career you have is going to get in her way.

however, if shes a party girl with a job that exposes her to alternative lifestyles a lot - ie. stripper, bar tender, model, masseuse, etc. - then she may have no problems with it.

but you aren't goign to get any help here becuase your situation is an abnormal one.

really it all comes down to whether she is in to an alternative lifestyle. hey, most porn stars get married - so there are guys who are happy to marry a chic whose 'job' it is to get hammered by strange men every week on film.

anyway, you need to find a forum dedicated to strippers and the issues they face in life. no one here, including myself, understands the lifestyle enough to give good advice on it.

i've only stripped for a group of women once. and that was at walmart, which got me arrested.

(that was a joke )

 

[RAFCbearfilm]

I will give this a shot for you fuglydude,
I think the main thing you need to consider is that if you are turned on by a group of women in private where the cards are dealt and anything can happen, planned or not, someone is going to get hurt. If cheating on your girl is going to hurt her than why continue what you are doing? The path is inevitable.
Stripper or not, if you continued to go out and chase women every week and take women home and mess around, wouldn't that be pretty much the same thing? The only difference is that you are obviously being paid to skip the bar scene and go right to the sex, so what are you missing here? These women are paying you to be their toy and eventually you and they are going to want more, it is in your nature and unless you are mentally strong enough or loyal enough to not cheat, it ain't gonna happen.

 

[Interceptor]

Look as long as your comfortable with it, and deep down inside it's your Dream Job, your passion, then your woman, any woman you're with, will have to accept it.
If she can't accept it, then she can't accept you, because you're not fulfilling her expectations.

Happy relationship? Nope.
You'll live under her standards and expectations, not yours.
This isn't healthy.




Men should never give up their Dreams for any women. No exceptions. None.
Non Negotiable.

100% of the time.






I'll admit it, I'm with Jo on this one, this is NOT a REAL "problem" , dude.

This is only a Problem if what's happening here is an underlying psychological/emotional issue.

Ok...what I'm getting at is...Is this a Cry for help? Or are you realizing that you cannot be loyal and monogamous? And infidelity is a very real possibility now and in the future??

I don't know, but what if your post is actually a Self Fulfilling Prophecy and what you're getting at is "I'm going to cheat on her. Please tell me not to, and why I shouldn't."

Am I right?


Or is this an Ego stage for you??? ("Look at me, losers. Eat your heart out!")

I mean you just stated that she's "OK with it."

So what's the REAL Problem here, dude?

You want honest help?
Better be upfront about it.

 

[Vulpine]

I can say that "who I am at work is not who I am in real life". That is, in relationships I tell the woman that "Vulpine goes away - disappears; and when he reappears, he has money". I've made this place called "work" an alternate reality, another dimension, a ficticious place not unlike "Oz", "Hell", or "Mr. Rogers' land of make-believe".

When I leave work, I don't want to talk about it because I leave work at work. I leave that "reality" and "return to my regularly scheduled program".

Work is work. If you stop and really consider Fuglydude's job in a philosophical sense, then consider your own...

We are really all whºres, stripping and dancing for employers in exchange for money. (Even if you own your own business, you are still whºring yourself to the economic machine.)

Fuglydude just literally swings his schlong for cash instead of figuratively.

That being said, it's no more of an issue than if he were to be a fry cook, changed bedpans, or embalmed corpses for a living. It doesn't matter what you do, whether or not you choose to discuss work outside of work is your choice.

Myself, I choose to let sleeping dogs lie and avoid the generally negative topic of "work".

And seriously, it's negative. Deep down EVERYONE hates/resents having to work. Sure, some "like" their jobs, but to have to go and actually do it is time spent doing something you don't WANT to do.

Fuglydude probably "likes" his job, but at the core, he HAS to do it in order to make money. Now, if he did it for fun and didn't need the money, THEN his woman would have a legitmate beef.

That's my angle.

 

[penkitten]

vulpine, great post.

 

[Interceptor]

But the mere fact that so many guys go into immediate denial here is disturbing

.

I'm not denying anything, Amante.
But I don't know the truth here.

I will agree that my composure, and self confidence and decsion making may be more, let's say mature and evolved, than he, so I will agree with you that it's hard for me personally to see this, as he wrote it, as a problem.
I will be honest that sometimes it's hard for me to see a person's perspective as being difficult, but pften that's because my road has been much longer than theirs.
So yeah, sometimes I do have a "I did it and have no problem, why can't you??" kind of view.



Honestly, if I were in his position, I woulld not have a problem. I wouldn't be on here trying to get an answer from the forum members.
It just would be a non issue with me. "I'm dancing and cavorting with chicks in a hedonictic revelrie!!!" Should be fun, IMHO!!
If I were single, I'd have no problems.
If I were in an LTR, then I'd respect my LTR. Where's the conflict??
Isn't this just common sense?? Don't ALL Men know this already?


If she's OK with it, then there's no real "problem". If I'm OK with it, and want to keep doing it, I will damnit.
The problem here may be that this guy is NOT Ok with it. Deep down inside.


So what is the REAL "problem" then?
That's what I'm getting at.

 

[Vulpine]

but I'd like to get your thoughts on something thats' been bothering me.

I just gave them. But, ok...

I'm currently in an LTR, and its going amazing...

We can talk about anything and everything freely, and anytime we do have arguments, its resolved within a day or so.

I'm extremely honest and open, because I think trust is huge in a relationship, especially because of our situation: I am a part time stripper...she's ok with this, because she knows that I'm extremely loyal, and that she's the only one I wanna be with.

I'd like to get your opinions on what to tell her regarding what goes on at stagettes/bacholerette parties that I perform at.

Pay attention to that last sentence there, because the very next sentence...

I'm very professional and would never try and mess around with any of the girls that I perform for...

...is the solution.

He should tell her that, and leave it at that.

I could go on and on with the stories... Needless to say, I really dont think any girl would be comfortable with their guy being treated that way by other women. I'd be lying if I say some of that stuff didn't legitimately turn me on. My gf says what bothers her the most about me doing private gigs is when I actually find the girls and what goes on during my performance sexually appealing...

The fix is far more simple than people would like to make it out to be. "Let sleeping dogs lie". Why would anyone stir up a hornet's nest by telling their gf that they are turned on by other women? Duh?

Work or no, you don't just go telling your woman "I got sexually aroused by another woman today." That's blatent disrespect.

So, you just don't tell her about the "unpleasantries" of your job. That's it, don't tell her.

If I brought home all the stupid sh¡t that goes on at my jobs to my gf, she'd not be pleased either. It's broadcasting your negativity onto others, and that's just poor.

Agreed?

Given my natural candor, I feel compelled to tell her what goes on... of course I don't do this in great detail. For example, for the last one I performed at I just told her that the girls were really attractive and really into me...

I guess what I'd like to get is opinions on what you'd tell her if you were in my shoes...this is my first LTR, so I don't really know what I'm doing...

Ok, so you're open and honest. Great. But the details of the day's work are negative, so don't share them. She is still with you, and since actions speak louder than words, she is obviously fine with you stripping. So, it's a non-issue. It's a moot point, a dead topic. Now, when she asks, "How was work", she doesn't want all the naughty details. All you need to say is something along the lines of "work is work, how are you?" or "Fine. What's for dinner?" and change the subject/blow it off.

Would you come home and ramble to your gf about how you were turned on by embalming a dead hottie? Of course not. Would you tell her how hot and bothered you were by the smell of deep-frying fish fillets? Uh... I should hope not.

I watch internet porn all day at my job. Do I go home and tell my gf about every time I was aroused? No. WHY? Because I'm not at work anymore. If she was at work with me, I'd share: "Hey, c'mere and check this out." (which I actually did the other night when I had to stop by - she liked the squirt video)

Anyway...

Basic DJ sh¡t says to dodge/deflect questions you don't care to answer and steer conversations the way you want them to go. You can leave work "mysterious" and avoid negative subject matter at the same time. Just as on a date, in LTR's you try to steer conversations away from harshness (religion, politics, work, Paris in Jail). Work is harsh. Sure, you want to tell her because you're "honest", but why? What good would it do? It would only serve to poke at a sore spot and thus cause needless irritation. Furthermore, she's already fine with your occupation. I bet if you asked, she'd likely say something like "I don't care what he does, just so long as he comes home to me."

She wouldn't say: "I don't care what he does, just so long as he comes home to me and rubs my nose in the fact that other women were drooling over his sausage all night."

Besides, not telling her the details of work isn't "lying". It's just "being vague for the sake of your girlfriend's mental health".

Keep your mouth shut about work: noone finds it as interesting as you do anyway.




Check your chin for drool, Amante.

 

[Vulpine]

He should tell her that, and leave it at that.

I could go on and on with the stories... Needless to say, I really dont think any girl would be comfortable with their guy being treated that way by other women. I'd be lying if I say some of that stuff didn't legitimately turn me on. My gf says what bothers her the most about me doing private gigs is when I actually find the girls and what goes on during my performance sexually appealing...

The fix is far more simple than people would like to make it out to be. "Let sleeping dogs lie". Why would anyone stir up a hornet's nest by telling their gf that they are turned on by other women? Duh?

Work or no, you don't just go telling your woman "I got sexually aroused by another woman today." That's blatent disrespect.

So, you just don't tell her about the "unpleasantries" of your job. That's it, don't tell her.

I covered that little "cat's out of the bag" aspect. It doesn't matter. Now all he can do is leave things alone. He can't take back what's been said, and he doesn't need to: she's still with him.

I Now, up to this point, I never blatently took a stab at you, at least I don't believe I have.

Slighting my opinion/personal outlook (insinuating that it's irrelevant): highlighted red.
Passive aggressive: highlighted green.
Camouflage: subdued.

I'm sure if you were to share your particularly well developed sense of insight and literary delivery as it actually pertains to the stated situation, the masses would be thrilled to listen to it. Drool even. Much appreciated.

Maybe it's not a stab. Perhaps if I heard it actually vocalized, the tone would be different.

Maybe you should check your f-cking ego.

Maybe you should check your sense of humor.

I don't know why you're all riled up this evening, but, dude... I'm pretty sure you were pre-loaded and your angst has nothing to do with me.

Let's not go any further beyond "pedalstool".

 

[Vulpine]

I'm very much in the mood to become even more unpoluar around here....

Get off of your pedalstool before I knock you off.

I was trying hard to be communicative and reasonable up to this point.

Version 1:

I've dealt with hundreds just like you.

Don't play with me. I'll call you out.

Version 2:

I've dealt with hundreds just like you.

Don't play with me. I'm the motherf-cker that'll call you out.

Version 3:

I've dealt with hundreds just like you.

Don't play with me. I'm the motherf-cker that'll call you out. Keep talking. Just keep talking. That's all I need.

Welcome back, Wildfire.

*ignored*

 

[seth]

So, even smart people can be dumb...hm.

 

[jophil28]

Geez you guys are naive - Fugly is BRAGGING about his "part time ,no messing around but things get quite sexual " job.

Fug-guy wrote ..." No messing BUT quite sexual"... DO you mean that you are somewhat of an innocent bystander because the CHICKs initiate the sexy stuff...LIke "I am just doing my job." Gimme a break Fugdude -you are a willing participant in the sex party games and you love it and also get paid to do it over and over. It does not matter that the chicks touch you or you touch them first.

Your post has two purposes- The first is to gloat and brag about your "fun job" on this forum which is a MEN'S place to talk. The members of this forum are MEN who have issues,dilemmas and heartache with women and you turn up here boasting about your stipper job where femmes molest you and pay you to do it.
That is a gloat dude.

Secondly, what you are really asking is how much of this stagette shyte (in our opinion) you can get away with, and not lose your girlfriend if you happen to mouth off ( oops ,,sorry, bad choice of words, you are "honest and forthright" ). It is my opinion that you want to find a way to expose the 'action' stories with all the girly sexy party stuff to your G/f without any consequences and you want our help to give you the words to say.

I say again -this forum is for men who want answers to REAL problems.
Your 'problem' is not even on the radar.

 

[jophil28]

THis thread is getting tedious ,ladies.

 

[jophil28]

---

 

[Mr.Positive]

Fuglydude, were you a stripper before or after you met your LTR?

Where I'm going is, that if you were a stripper before you both got serious and she knew you were a stripper, the cards were laid on the table and you don't need to do anything. You can just tell her that she will have to trust you, and that you are professional at work, it's your job, that you would never cheat on her, etc. You should be cool. Also, if she sticks with you and it's not an issue, you might have one great quality woman. A woman that TRUSTS you, even in a situation like that.

If you became a stripper AFTER you got serious with her, than she has a right to have an issue with it.

Also, I don't know why everyone says a job is a job and a seperate reality. A job says a lot about you as a person, IMO. We have choices, we are not slaves, you can choice what type of job to have. A person who runs a volunteer org is probably a different person than someone who runs a brothel. That's my point. They both go home at night, leave work at work, and live their lives, however, I bet, how they live their lives IS completely different....because of their core values.

Their values LEAD them to choose what path to take in life...including career choices.

I'm not trying to judge anyone, but something to think about.