WRITING FUNDAMENTALS:
You should have learned this stuff in high school but you were too busy staring at the breasts growing over there on the chick at the next desk.
It’s okay. You’re forgiven. In fact, there would have been something wrong with you if you preferred grammar! So here’s a quick rundown. The points are simple, but crucial. Old bad habits die hard.
Don’t misspell – dude, use your spellcheck, stick your file in Word and spellcheck it. A computer idiot? Use a dictionary. Women hate it when men misspell. It shows sloppiness, an inattention to detail. And women like attention to detail – just consider their predilection for oh, decoration and foreplay. Get it? The two words I see misspelled most often – independent and definitely.
Avoid cliches - you are not a hopeless romantic, a gentleman and a scholar, a boy next door.
Avoid general, generic language – you don’t like walks on the beach, a nice wine with dinner, feel comfortable in jeans and t shirt. Dude – go read some guy sites and see how often men write the same thing. They are clueless. More importantly, to an attractive woman online, they are the same as all the other… invisible.
Be precise in your language. Say Chicago Blues – which is better than blues. Shiraz is better than “wine.” (no Chardonnay (feminine), no Merlot (lazy)). The Palms is better than Vegas. Ribeye steak is better than mere steak. Azure is better than blue. Aspen grove is better than forest. The more precisely you can paint the environment of your life, the more tactilely and sensuallly her imagination will project her into it (much more on that below!)
Be dynamic in your language. That means active verbs. Verbs that pack power, action, movement. Avoid static words like “is” “are” and “have” – those are static verbs. Use dynamic verbs – USE A THESAURUS to make your sentences sizzle.
Okay, put a little of this to work:
If you love your dog, do you write
“I love dogs”
Freakin’ snore!!! Or do you paint a picture of you relating to your dog that she can feel, see, enjoy and project herself into that picture?
“I like to spend Sunday mornings wrestling
in the sand with my lab. She’s hilarious
- running up to say hi to everybody.
You can practically see her laughing the whole
time, then we collapse and peacefully soak in the sun.”
That’s a happy picture – vivid with action. I don’t merely HAVE a dog. Rather the reader sees and imagines me
wrestling, and
laughing, and
collapsing with my little furry pal. What a playful guy. And there’s room for her in the picture – I made sure there’s room for her to see herself lying down next to me at the end.
Show, Don’t Tell – possibly the most important writing rule of all. Don’t list. Don’t talk about. Don’t tell about yourself.
Show yourself. If you’re funny, don’t say you’re funny –
be funny. If you love your little nephew don’t (cliché) say he’s the “light of my life” –
paint a picture of something you and he do together or how he makes you laugh. This is the difference between George Clooney coming on screen and telling you the story of Ocean’s 11, and George Clooney in the action of it. Which is more interesting? Show your life, don’t describe it. Write little movie scenes in your profile. She will be drawn into that movie.
Everything you read below will teach you how to make those movie scenes electrify her imagination and draw her to you, so read on…
