What to do when you start feeling AFC?

[brocollie]

Imagine you get perfect relationship for FIVE months. You're not feeling afc at all, you're feeling like a great pimp, you do all the things that keep the relationship fresh and interesting. Love grows, sex comes, etc etc. Everything is alright on both sides. Suddenly her school starts. Mine doesn't yet. She gets no time for me at all. And what do i feel? I feel going way AFC. Im sad throughout all day. It's been only twelve days and it feels like forever. I won't see her for next fourteen days either - have work till then and school starts after that. Why am I typing this? You know it. I have to chose: NEXT her or GO ON with it? I don't want to say good bye to the best match I've had so far. And I also don't want to suffer.

Is the right answer: "If you keep being down because of it, end it."?

 

[trance_addict]

Dont' sweat it.

Either make up your mind about whether you want to stay in the relationship (is it worth it?) or to break up and move on with life. Don't let your happiness be interrupted, if you are sure it won't work out in the long run, end it. If you feel that she might be worth keeping, stay. It's all up to you. If i'm in a LTR that I'm dissatisfied with, I say "next" and move on. Theres a lot more to life than girls, don't let one of them be the main focus, you have things you gotta do too right?

 

[brocollie]

Yeh, I do, need to find a job, keep up with uni, and most of all, not to become a lunatic because of it all.. I don't know if this can work in the long run yet. I'll let it be for some time and see what happens, maybe we just need some time-off. If not, I'll end it.

 

[blinkwatt]

Is the right answer: "If you keep being down because of it, end it."?

No thats not the right answer. Just remember that you had a life before her so why should that change? Hang with friends, enjoy your hobbies, work, hit the gym HARD in these fourteen days since she wont take any of your time.

Do you both go to different colleges? If it turns out as if its not fun anymore because you can't see her enough,then its time to move on. Staying in this mindset for awhile without letting anyone or acknowledging it know could lead to a depression state.

 

[Rebound Material]

I have to chose: NEXT her or GO ON with it? I don't want to say good bye to the best match I've had so far. And I also don't want to suffer.

sucks how we have to abort a perfectly good relationship just because we're afraid to get hurt...

 

[mastersF]

If you keep letting her dominate your thoughts when you cant see her, it is going to be a downward spiral. you will feel depressed and start imagining things, then after it develops into a mutated form of one-itis and then you will come back here with another post asking us how to get her back because you cant live without her. Okay, i admit thats a very exaggerated scenario but still possible.

You need to take your mind off her. Conventional wisdom by PUAs would say sarge another thousand girls and see if she is still unique. But i guess if you are involved in a committed relationship with her you might not want to "break the trust". Therefore the best thing to do now is to go do some sports, get your testoterone raging so that you wont keep feeling down

 

[brocollie]

If you keep letting her dominate your thoughts when you cant see her, it is going to be a downward spiral. you will feel depressed and start imagining things, then after it develops into a mutated form of one-itis and then you will come back here with another post asking us how to get her back because you cant live without her. Okay, i admit thats a very exaggerated scenario but still possible.

YEP! That's what i'm getting to feel. I'm aware of it so i stopped doing the things your "addiction" is telling me to do. I'm working now so my mind is somewhere else most of the time, which will (hopefully) lead getting some testosterone and independance again. For f**k's sake i never want to get that "oneitis" feeling again, it ruined me a few times so nope, don't wanna go through that again.

I don't want to break the trust (at least yet). Will give it time and see if it comes back alright.

About the gym, nah, i hate gym, I rather go running, but i'm working pretty hard now, so that's my "gym".

Hmm, today I feel alright. If I feel alright tomorrow and the day after tomorrow, then im out of the worst


**edit**

it sucks how totally perfect relationship can twist into a blob just because of school

 

[mastersF]

I once read an article called The Traps of Life by Viva Las Vegas. In there he mentioned a trap called The Trap of Forgetting Lasts Forever. It hit the nail on my head *ouch* as I realised that I fell into that trap very easily. By the way I do agree that "it sucks how totally perfect relationship can twist into a blob just because of school". Other possible ways of school doing things in include exams and the stress it brings. Haha. Hope you are raging with testoterone now

 

[insanity]

college or university is usually the nail in the coffin for most realtionships. you have to think, she is off at a far away place most likely having fun and meeting new people. meeting new people includes guys hungry for some lovin'. and if she's taking something she likes in school or participates in extra curricular activities, she's bound to meet some guy with the same passion and then the connection is made.

say if you met a rocket, who took interest in you at your school and your woman was off doing her own thing....would you wait for her. chances are your girl would not wait for you. the only thing going through your head right now is, when am i going to get the call from her, saying i think we should be friends. right then and there you know another guy is about to piss on your territory.

everybody is different though and maybe you and her are meant for each other. but that is rare

 

[unorthodox]

Shlt, what to do when you're KWBAFC?

 

[brocollie]

lal, just one step close to ending it :cheer:

 

[itishe]

Brocile I'm in the same pickle.

My girls at college, and I'm in highschool 3,000 miles away. The first couple weeks were pretty damn good, we'd talk sexual every night and the conversation would flow great. I wouldn't really care if I didn't talk to her for a day or two, because I was okay with it.

Fastfoward to a month or so since she's been gone and this **** is starting to hit me. I keep busy with friends, work, working out yet she's always on my mind. I'm always wanting a call from her, etc. Conversations aren't as good as they used to be... they rarely get sexual, don't last that long, and arn't as fun.

She won't be back until December.

 

[tucking fypo]

IMO do not break up with her.Maybe you can have a study group with her or something or you can just take her out on the weekends. <IDK were she lives and how far she is from you>

if you feel that you truely love her and if this is the greatest relationship you had <which is true> i'd say stick with her. maybe call her and tell her how you feel

IMO there is nothing wrong with showing how you feel about her until when she thinks you are a wussy.She also probably MISSES YOU more than you have missed her so maybe you should call just to check up on her and see if everythings alright.
Sosauve teaches that the guys are the dominant and she should be the one calling you first but if its like that then whats the point of loving?
~GL

 

[brocollie]

IMO do not break up with her.Maybe you can have a study group with her or something or you can just take her out on the weekends. <IDK were she lives and how far she is from you>

if you feel that you truely love her and if this is the greatest relationship you had <which is true> i'd say stick with her. maybe call her and tell her how you feel

IMO there is nothing wrong with showing how you feel about her until when she thinks you are a wussy.She also probably MISSES YOU more than you have missed her so maybe you should call just to check up on her and see if everythings alright.
Sosauve teaches that the guys are the dominant and she should be the one calling you first but if its like that then whats the point of loving?
~GL

Hmz, you got a point on that. Yesterday I said to myself "Dude, you gotta sort it out. Either go on with a hope or end it without one". So I wrote an SMS, asking (i made it a fun SMS, nothing pushy or negative) whether she thinks she might have got some time for us to date or if not. If I had received a "no i'm too busy" I would have ended it. If i had received something like "I don't know" in a negative way, I'd have ended it. But guess what, she replied all funny, saying yeh there'll be time hopefully, depending on my work (cuz i work on weekends this month). So, i feel better a bit, but i still feel like a side product. I don't know whether she misses me or not, but according to last 5 months, shes been "ringin my phone" when she missed me. But this month - nothing. Rarely get two phone rings twice a week. I was quiet on purpose, trying to find out whether im totally forgotten or not. Seems like not totally, but im not sure. I'm gonna find out maybe this weekend, and if not, then 100% next weekend. We live close to each other, thats not the problem like itishe has, problem is that I feel her attitude towards us changed. I certainly don't want to be a wus, im holding myself, fighting all the oneitis and afc stuff, and i must admit i've done a great job compare to last relationships. Still I want to keep this girl, but if i'm not missed and maybe loved, whats the point.., i'm not afraid to leave her.

 

[brocollie]

Brocile I'm in the same pickle.

My girls at college, and I'm in highschool 3,000 miles away. The first couple weeks were pretty damn good, we'd talk sexual every night and the conversation would flow great. I wouldn't really care if I didn't talk to her for a day or two, because I was okay with it.

Fastfoward to a month or so since she's been gone and this **** is starting to hit me. I keep busy with friends, work, working out yet she's always on my mind. I'm always wanting a call from her, etc. Conversations aren't as good as they used to be... they rarely get sexual, don't last that long, and arn't as fun.

She won't be back until December.

dude... if i were you, i'd end it, there is no point in it. I was in the U.S. for a while, dated a girl there for 4 months, we were all in love, then i went back home in europe and the relationship fell apart. I was really oneitis and afc that time, really attention wh0re, i was even angry at her. It was pure sh1t

 

[brocollie]

Okay, I ended it. Lets move on