What to do here please?

[spread_love]

Okay I will try and make this short, girl I have known for a few years and have been out with many times as a friend, go drinking with, gone clubbing with etc...I have even stayed the night at the her place and nothing happened, I didn't try anything, I never have and for as long as I can remember she has been in relationships and I would not trust her in a relationship, she has cheated on the last few dudes she has been with.

She is getting over a break up and I have been there for her and we were out on Wednesday night and had a great time and she said thanks and that she always has a great time when out with me and that was just what she needed, so I made plans for next weekend and she comes out with the just making sure that we are just friends ****, well it was like I really have to say that I hope you see me as just a friend,

The thing is I ALREADY know we are, I can read signs and I am not clueless, why did she feel the need to tell me this?

She also said in a text that she wishes her last boyfriend gave her the attention and time I did to her, well boo ****ing hoo, I am not him and never will be.

I got quite pissed off at her and feel this has caused quite a rift in our friendship, she just didn't need to say this, I'm not dumb.

I enjoy her company, and I'm honestly not attracted to her in that way and like I said I don't trust her, she cheats on dudes.

Have I been giving her to much attention?

When will I ever find a good Woman, without all of this ****?

I'm starting to think that I should just give up and become a recluse.



Thanks for any help here

 

[djinhell]

Well, I personally think sometimes girls say stuff like that to feel good about themselves, in her head shes rejecting you to boost her own self esteem.

You are saying your happy only being her friend...if thats the case, then GREAT! But if deep down you do want her as more of a friend...oh dear. Im just concerned you want her as more of a friend as you took the time to post about it on here..but I could be wrong :yes:

You should just be able to laugh it off if you generally aren't interested...chalk it up as her being vulnerable and not thinking clearly!

I have a close girl friend, and we talk quite a bit etc, but because its platonic its fine..just like my friendships with my guy friends...so I dont think you should feel you gave her too much attention!

You will find a good woman! you seem quite level headed, it will come. DO NOT GIVE UP! the minute you become someone who b!tches, moans and becomes cynical, I think you already lost the battle my friend!

Good Luck! :rockon:

Dj In Hell

 

[spread_love]

Well, I personally think sometimes girls say stuff like that to feel good about themselves, in her head shes rejecting you to boost her own self esteem.

You are saying your happy only being her friend...if thats the case, then GREAT! But if deep down you do want her as more of a friend...oh dear. Im just concerned you want her as more of a friend as you took the time to post about it on here..but I could be wrong :yes:

You should just be able to laugh it off if you generally aren't interested...chalk it up as her being vulnerable and not thinking clearly!

I have a close girl friend, and we talk quite a bit etc, but because its platonic its fine..just like my friendships with my guy friends...so I dont think you should feel you gave her too much attention!

You will find a good woman! you seem quite level headed, it will come. DO NOT GIVE UP! the minute you become someone who b!tches, moans and becomes cynical, I think you already lost the battle my friend!

Good Luck! :rockon:

Dj In Hell

Because she got dumped maybe?, I do care about her, and she is a good friend and this post is just me asking if I was giving her to much attention and if I should continue the friendship or not?.

I was just annoyed that that she ran the just friends thing on me, because I already know, I have been around the block and I just don't think she needed to say it, what purpose did it have?, I have known her for 4-5 years, and have not even tried to kiss her, surely that must tell her that I am just her friend.

The truth is, I don't think I can be bothered with her anymore and was just trying to get some other views on the situation.

I should also mention that she told me,that she can't work to walk without getting hit on

Thanks for your input Dj In Hell :yes:

Update: I decided to text her and tell her that I have never been interested in her anyway except as a platonic friend, which is the truth and makes me feel like I have the power back now.

 

[Igetit!]

She is getting over a break up and I have been there for her and we were out on Wednesday night and had a great time and she said thanks and that she always has a great time when out with me and that was just what she needed, so I made plans for next weekend and she comes out with the just making sure that we are just friends ****, well it was like I really have to say that I hope you see me as just a friend,

The thing is I ALREADY know we are, I can read signs and I am not clueless, why did she feel the need to tell me this?

Seems to me that the reason she said this to you was because something about you,either something you did,or something you said made her think that you might be romantically interested in her. My guess would be when you made plans for the two of you. It's one thing when you have plans in place for yourself,but for her as well? Did you make these plans assuming that she would be willing to hang out with you,or did you ask her about you two hanging out first? Another thing is that if you spend a lot of time with her while being single,and she knows that you're not dating anyone else,this might also cause her to say this.

I got quite pissed off at her and feel this has caused quite a rift in our friendship, she just didn't need to say this, I'm not dumb.

Personally,I think you're pissed because she rejected you. You might say:"Rejected me? How? I never asked her out". True,but it was a rejection nevertheless. She didn't reject you,she rejected the possibility,the mere thought of you two even dating. The feeling are the same. If she rejects you,you'll feel angry. If she rejects even the idea,the possibility of you two dating,you'll still feel hurt/angry. That's why you're pissed.

I enjoy her company, and I'm honestly not attracted to her in that way and like I said I don't trust her, she cheats on dudes.

Doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if you're not attracted to her. Rejection is rejection,and rejection sucks reguardless of who it comes from. If you like a girl,and she turns you down,it sucks. If you just hang around a girl as friends,and she says something like this girl said to you,it still sucks.
Basically,what your friend said was this: "I'm not attracted to you. I know we're just friends,BUT just in case you get any funny ideas about us two dating.....DON'T. Don't even think about it".

Have I been giving her to much attention?

Well,it's possible.

When will I ever find a good Woman, without all of this ****?

Well,my question is,Why are you asking this question here? I thought you wanted to know why your friend said what she said to you. What does your friend telling you that she wants to make sure that you two are just friends,and you finding a good woman have to do with each other? Unless.....unless you do have somewhat some interest in her. And I think you do. If I do,and I'm over the internet,then what do you think your friend who hangs out with you will think? I think you have some interest for her. It may be a little,but that's all women need. It may be small,it may be minor,but she sensed it.

You can't be helped if you're not honest. If you like this girl,even a little,then at least be honest here on the forum. You don't have to tell her. In fact,I suggest you don't say anything to her.

But as I said earlier,if you want to know why she said what she said,this is why.

 

[Kevin Feng]

Naw, no reason to give up, there are plenty of good women out there, it depends where you meet them, if you meet a girl in a night club, chances are she's not going to be that high caliber of a girl.

I would never really date a girl that I pulled from a night club, because typically they're not very emotionally healthy to begin with.

Most girls go to clubs to get social validations for their esteem issues, definitely not a very healthy trait.

In anycase, I would start trying day game, you'll meet the more higher caliber girls in coffee shops, border's, etc etc.

-Kevin

 

[Caveman]

When will I ever find a good Woman, without all of this ****?

Well,my question is,Why are you asking this question here?

My thoughts exactly. Seems to me you are contradicting yourself. If even guys over the internet can read this, she might have also picked up on something like this and therefor told you not to get any romantic ideas.

Update: I decided to text her and tell her that I have never been interested in her anyway except as a platonic friend, which is the truth and makes me feel like I have the power back now.

Now why would you need to have 'power' in a platonic friendship??

 

[spread_love]

Thanks for the input fellas, appreciate it

 

[tarotale]

i personally hate platonic female friends. especially in your case, it looks like she is using you. she is saying you're cool as friend, but when it comes to fvcking, i don have time for your $hit. well, my man, tell her the same thing. txt her that it's all good n yal be stil friends, but in reality, don call her, or hang out with her anymore. if she does not want to give you anything for your time, why should you waste your time on a pvssy guarded by a fvcking fortress? she is selfish. i would tell her indirectly to fvck off

 

[spread_love]

i personally hate platonic female friends. especially in your case, it looks like she is using you. she is saying you're cool as friend, but when it comes to fvcking, i don have time for your $hit. well, my man, tell her the same thing. txt her that it's all good n yal be stil friends, but in reality, don call her, or hang out with her anymore. if she does not want to give you anything for your time, why should you waste your time on a pvssy guarded by a fvcking fortress? she is selfish. i would tell her indirectly to fvck off

Thanks for that tarotale, I thought about things and asked myself if I needed her and her all of her dramas and the answer was a resounding no, I am not going to have anything more to do with her.

She is selfish and I paid her way to much attention, when a chick is texting you and saying **** like I wish (name of her ex) gave me the attention and time that you (me) do...well guess what, that attention and time is gone.

I have also told myself, **** it, someone better will come along, there is no need to even think about this anymore.

Thanks for all of the comments and views.

 

[jophil28]

She is getting over a break up and I have been there for her and we were out on Wednesday night and had a great time and she said thanks and that she always has a great time when out with me and that was just what she needed, so I made plans for next weekend and she comes out with the just making sure that we are just friends ****, well it was like I really have to say that I hope you see me as just a friend,

The thing is I ALREADY know we are, I can read signs and I am not clueless, why did she feel the need to tell me this?

IgetIt was on the money.

You 'friend's' comment was to remind you that she was not interested in getting romantically involved with you, and to keep your distance.. Why did she say so then? Because you set up another 'date' for next weekend, and she (in her female arrogance ) assumed that you were probably making plans to seduce her because, after all, " all men just want sex". She does not fully believe in your platonic friendship and there is a part of her that sees you as just another horny guy without an opportunity so far.

THis woman is getting exactly what she wants from you for free. DO you know what an 'orbiter' is and why women like having them around?

She will cut you out in a heartbeat if she meets her next potential boyfriend.How do I know? Because she showed no loyalty to her past boyfriends when she cheated on them, so why should she show any to you ?

What are you getting out of the deal ? Party fun? Social proof. Blue balls ?

 

[The_411]

Ahh the ol we're friends and I need my ego boosted so I'll say it to your face gambit.

I'm glad you realized that she's not worth your time as a friend. You don't sound approving of her cheating and her behavior toward you is disrespectful.

Sure there is something missing and perhaps she got the idea you wanted more, but the clarification line about being friends is utter crap. It's a power play and yet there it doesn't seem like there any reason for it.

A friend doesn't need to power play you. She jsut sounds like she enjoys torturing men.

She sounds like somone who needs to get involved with a narcissist to get a better understanding on how poor her behavior is and why is a good idea to treat people well (unless they give youa reason not to)