Guys, I'm not a DJ yet... if you count getting girls as being a DJ. I have never even kissed a girl yet, though I have had some romance, and I've groped a tit or two while drunk (OMG SCORE!!!!!!!!!).
But: the difference between me and what you'd call an AFC is that I don't care.
No, I'm not gay or an asexual: the opposite, I seem to have very high testosterone levels if you can judge from my erection frequency, my general drive to action and dominance, the set of my jaw, my overall build, my abundance of acne:cheer:
I've noticed... eventually... its effect on girls. They look at me in "that" way. They giggle about me behind my back (or so I hear from certain reliable informants). One girl sent me a love letter through her girl-support network. Another girl sent me a video of herself masturbating.
The trouble was that while this was happening I was clueless. The first times that girls showed any sort of blatant interest I did your classic AFC thing because I thought I NEEDED it.
Fact is, though, this was just something I picked up. The doubts about it all were in my mind because, from what I heard, this sort of thing was supposed to be DIFFICULT. But before, when I paid more attention to my inner compass and less attention to these aquired doubts... the girls fell in love with me back. Yes, I never kissed a girl. But as far as I dared go, they followed my lead: so long as I was following my own compass. Things might have been a lot different if circumstances had let me gain more confidence. As it is, I decided to "learn to pick up chicks".
Actually, it wasn't such a conscious decision. Mostly I started forum-trawling because I was lonely at the time, but I gravitated towards places like SoSuave in particular because of the questions I wanted to answer.
In the short term, though, they only made things worse -- MUCH WORSE. So I read over and over SoSuave posts -- I didn't want to admit I was lonely, actually, so I only fulfilled my emotional needs in ways I could rationalise as being for a different reason -- and what that did was to let me gently pick up the idea that seduction was difficult from all the people who thought it was difficult, even as I learnt valuable stuff from people like Pook, Krassus and Señor Fingers.
I was in a romance at the time. Scoff yes, ROMANCE -- your poor bastards are all afraid of love aren't you? Well, I agree, there's an AFC way about it and a DJ way about it: and I'll go so far as to say that you're not yet a proper DJ unless you're capable of being in love. AFCs FAKE romance. They think they HAVE to do it to "get girls"... in fact they think they HAVE TO GET GIRLS. Both bad beliefs. There's no single holy grail to happiness.
In fact, it was a romance on MSN Messenger. Did I tell you? I was in a foreign country at the time... so I was lonely and had no-one who I could speak english to.
OH NOES! you say. GUBBY IS AN AFC! LOOK HOW DESPERATE HE IS!
No. All of this can be done the DJ way... no, the NATURAL way. What that means is that you make relationships using nothing but your instincts. What can anything else do but come between you? The AFC way is not natural, by the way. It's LEARNED. I was strong-minded (I AM strong minded) so I paid relatively little attention to these things, and I fell in love because I GOD DAMNED FELT LIKE IT. She fell in love back. She said that she'd never felt the same way about a guy.
How did I get her to fall in love? I... I don't know! I just decided at one point I wanted her, and I turned up the pressure. That's all I can remember. You see? There's no method, just instinct.
But there was the seed of AFC-dom in me. I wasn't quite sure about my instincts, because so many people said that the AFC way was right. This led me to read SoSuave and so on and "learn" from it.
This was where the relationship stopped working. Bit by bit what I "learned" removed me from that intimate connection. It doesn't matter what the supposed facts are; reading this stuff I got the general VIBES that a) women are bad, b) romance is bad and c) sexual relations are something you need to work at, not simply gravitate into naturally. I absorbed those vibes by osmosis even as my rational mind was working on Pook's grand philosophies and Krassus's easy strength. That's the danger with loneliness - it takes away your free will. Be wary of it.
And that relationship broke up. It just left the bounds of real passion and became a fantasy -- it became what AFCs do.
I still love that girl by the way. I say this to provoke you guys who are already shaking their heads and saying "what an AFC". And she still loves me... in the same way as I her: not *necessarily* romantically. We tease, screw around, that sort of thing, and sometimes it feels sexual. But there's a strong vein of friendship that's always there, and I know that if I ever want her to be my girlfriend I have to be strong enough to protect her and provide for her. I don't feel quite worthy of that now, even if we did live close enough to have proper relations. But it gives me something to aspire to: not necessarily to her personally, I know that there are more girls as good as her: but it shows me what sort of thing lies in store if I become everything I can be. That's "sex transmutation" by the way, if you need for it to be pointed out to you.
Now, the fact that I have still never kissed a girl shows that I have a lot to work on. But I'm not focusing on women anymore. I'm focusing on me. That's DJ isn't it? But I don't do it because it's DJ. The word "DJ" has not come up in my thinking processes for a long time. I do it because I WANT TO. I do everything because I WANT TO.
DJ is naturalness. AFC and PUA are both artificiality. To be happy you need to stop ADDING artificiality: you need only GRAVITATE towards naturalness, with your masculine desire to be the best you can be as a guide. **** philosophies. Your gut feeling will tell you if something is right or not: listen to it MUCH, MUCH more.
So this is my advice to anyone who is where I was three years ago: don't read this forum. You'll absorb bad ideas and good ideas in equal measure. Just read The Book Of Pook and Weapons Of Mass Seduction by Señor Fingers. That should be enough to convince you that you already KNOW ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW. And then follow your own compass... become strong.
Women want their knight in shining armour. You're not being exploited -- that's projecting a masculine mind onto her. Your STRENGTH and VISION is an equal trade for her LOVE and RADIENCE.
And learn to fall in love like a real man. *****.
But: the difference between me and what you'd call an AFC is that I don't care.
No, I'm not gay or an asexual: the opposite, I seem to have very high testosterone levels if you can judge from my erection frequency, my general drive to action and dominance, the set of my jaw, my overall build, my abundance of acne:cheer:
I've noticed... eventually... its effect on girls. They look at me in "that" way. They giggle about me behind my back (or so I hear from certain reliable informants). One girl sent me a love letter through her girl-support network. Another girl sent me a video of herself masturbating.
The trouble was that while this was happening I was clueless. The first times that girls showed any sort of blatant interest I did your classic AFC thing because I thought I NEEDED it.
Fact is, though, this was just something I picked up. The doubts about it all were in my mind because, from what I heard, this sort of thing was supposed to be DIFFICULT. But before, when I paid more attention to my inner compass and less attention to these aquired doubts... the girls fell in love with me back. Yes, I never kissed a girl. But as far as I dared go, they followed my lead: so long as I was following my own compass. Things might have been a lot different if circumstances had let me gain more confidence. As it is, I decided to "learn to pick up chicks".
Actually, it wasn't such a conscious decision. Mostly I started forum-trawling because I was lonely at the time, but I gravitated towards places like SoSuave in particular because of the questions I wanted to answer.
In the short term, though, they only made things worse -- MUCH WORSE. So I read over and over SoSuave posts -- I didn't want to admit I was lonely, actually, so I only fulfilled my emotional needs in ways I could rationalise as being for a different reason -- and what that did was to let me gently pick up the idea that seduction was difficult from all the people who thought it was difficult, even as I learnt valuable stuff from people like Pook, Krassus and Señor Fingers.
I was in a romance at the time. Scoff yes, ROMANCE -- your poor bastards are all afraid of love aren't you? Well, I agree, there's an AFC way about it and a DJ way about it: and I'll go so far as to say that you're not yet a proper DJ unless you're capable of being in love. AFCs FAKE romance. They think they HAVE to do it to "get girls"... in fact they think they HAVE TO GET GIRLS. Both bad beliefs. There's no single holy grail to happiness.
In fact, it was a romance on MSN Messenger. Did I tell you? I was in a foreign country at the time... so I was lonely and had no-one who I could speak english to.
OH NOES! you say. GUBBY IS AN AFC! LOOK HOW DESPERATE HE IS!
No. All of this can be done the DJ way... no, the NATURAL way. What that means is that you make relationships using nothing but your instincts. What can anything else do but come between you? The AFC way is not natural, by the way. It's LEARNED. I was strong-minded (I AM strong minded) so I paid relatively little attention to these things, and I fell in love because I GOD DAMNED FELT LIKE IT. She fell in love back. She said that she'd never felt the same way about a guy.
How did I get her to fall in love? I... I don't know! I just decided at one point I wanted her, and I turned up the pressure. That's all I can remember. You see? There's no method, just instinct.
But there was the seed of AFC-dom in me. I wasn't quite sure about my instincts, because so many people said that the AFC way was right. This led me to read SoSuave and so on and "learn" from it.
This was where the relationship stopped working. Bit by bit what I "learned" removed me from that intimate connection. It doesn't matter what the supposed facts are; reading this stuff I got the general VIBES that a) women are bad, b) romance is bad and c) sexual relations are something you need to work at, not simply gravitate into naturally. I absorbed those vibes by osmosis even as my rational mind was working on Pook's grand philosophies and Krassus's easy strength. That's the danger with loneliness - it takes away your free will. Be wary of it.
And that relationship broke up. It just left the bounds of real passion and became a fantasy -- it became what AFCs do.
I still love that girl by the way. I say this to provoke you guys who are already shaking their heads and saying "what an AFC". And she still loves me... in the same way as I her: not *necessarily* romantically. We tease, screw around, that sort of thing, and sometimes it feels sexual. But there's a strong vein of friendship that's always there, and I know that if I ever want her to be my girlfriend I have to be strong enough to protect her and provide for her. I don't feel quite worthy of that now, even if we did live close enough to have proper relations. But it gives me something to aspire to: not necessarily to her personally, I know that there are more girls as good as her: but it shows me what sort of thing lies in store if I become everything I can be. That's "sex transmutation" by the way, if you need for it to be pointed out to you.
Now, the fact that I have still never kissed a girl shows that I have a lot to work on. But I'm not focusing on women anymore. I'm focusing on me. That's DJ isn't it? But I don't do it because it's DJ. The word "DJ" has not come up in my thinking processes for a long time. I do it because I WANT TO. I do everything because I WANT TO.
DJ is naturalness. AFC and PUA are both artificiality. To be happy you need to stop ADDING artificiality: you need only GRAVITATE towards naturalness, with your masculine desire to be the best you can be as a guide. **** philosophies. Your gut feeling will tell you if something is right or not: listen to it MUCH, MUCH more.
So this is my advice to anyone who is where I was three years ago: don't read this forum. You'll absorb bad ideas and good ideas in equal measure. Just read The Book Of Pook and Weapons Of Mass Seduction by Señor Fingers. That should be enough to convince you that you already KNOW ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW. And then follow your own compass... become strong.
Women want their knight in shining armour. You're not being exploited -- that's projecting a masculine mind onto her. Your STRENGTH and VISION is an equal trade for her LOVE and RADIENCE.
And learn to fall in love like a real man. *****.
