What I've learned in my time away

[Shift]

A couple of months ago I decided to stop reading manosphere material and figure things out on my own. Well, I'm glad to share this experiment has been a success.

You'll never develop your skills with women effectively by consulting the web. Well, maybe you will, but I was spinning my wheels. I over-analyzed every interaction I had with women and scoured the web looking for what I was doing wrong in every step along the way. After the manosphere and other dating advice stopped being a daily reading material for me, that's when things really began to change.

The validation of a woman (which admit it or not, most of us on here are looking for that, whether it be through sex or a relationship) faded out as a priority. As a result, I have become much more relaxed around women in general, which has resulted in more success with women. I'm not angry, bitter, and cynical when it comes to ladies anymore. I don't care when potential "plates" (as you guys call them) run dry anymore. Just doesn't get to me in the same way it used to. I know there's more.

(I know you're going to insist on examples. I had sex for the first time in over 6 months about two weeks ago. I had known her for less than a week. I have another girl driving over 3 hours to come meet me this weekend. She calls or texts me everyday. This one's a guaranteed bang, I can feel it. Throw in dates with a couple other girls and it's been a far more active than normal time period for me. Now I'm not out just trying to get laid but I have a better idea of what kind of girl I want a relationship with. )

So forget about all the acronyms, formulas, and rules the manosphere has taught you. Just be a driven optimist. Have a positive outlook on everything, and be determined to accomplish your goals. When you believe things are going to end up good, and you work toward your goals (which don't necessarily have to involve getting laid/dating), great things happen. Have fun, relax, and keep a positive outlook, and the rest will all come naturally. Trust your instincts.

This is just the beginning. An unfathomable amount of joy and success lies ahead.

Good luck gentlemen.

Sincerely,
Shift

 

[Roober]

All of the material here is meant as a launching point to become a DJ. You don't learn by staying around and just reading material. Eventually, everyone should find their own rhythm and use the guidelines here to build themselves.

 

[Urbanyst]

Here is what I've learned from experience:

Games and tricks are for fake people.

Once you become a high value member of society, women will come on to you and be available to you no matter how much game you have or don't have.

Good looking guys will always get laid no matter what. If they are successful, they will attract a higher class of women.

If you are ugly and poor, you can use game to trick women into giving you a chance, but they will eventually abandon you because your low value will be uncovered sooner or later.

A woman will lose interest if she is over pursued

Women will try to take as much as they can without having sex with you. If you give too much, they will put you in the friend zone until they bleed you dry.

Being difficult is a turn on as long as its not taken to the extreme

Women decide if they are attracted to you pretty early. They give you resistance to see how much they can get from you without having sex. But they still plan to have sex.

Once a woman agrees to go out with you alone, you are done selling yourself. She is attracted to you. Now you can relax and have fun. If you keep trying to sell yourself after that, you come off desperate and she will start losing interest.

Women only play hard to get when they see you as high value compared to them. If they see themselves as higher value than you they are more likely to sleep with you right away. If they are not interested at all they ignore you completely or tell you they want to be friends very early.

Be yourself or don't be yourself. It doesn't matter. Only your value matters. If you are a loser nothing will help you. If you are a winner, there is little wrong you can do.

 

[resilient]

Once a woman agrees to go out with you alone, you are done selling yourself. She is attracted to you. Now you can relax and have fun.

Heh... this reminds me of the intro of Hitch when thinking about initial attraction:

 

[ubercat]

Hmmm bit over simplified. Plenty of women enjoy the attention and/or r angling for a free meal. And I don't think it's just a binary winner loser divide. Experience can always turn things around. I'm exhausted this week just got back to tennis after an injury, new responsibilities at work trying to plan a weekend away standard g/f friend maintenance etc. So I go out for after work drinks tonight. Now I have no problem talking about the fact that I'm tired and it was a hell of a week. You can be authentic you just have to play with it. EG I say to the barmaid my ass is sore because work's been kicking it all week. Then look lovingly at my own bicep and say but tomorrow is another day. Then I obviously stare at her fine ass and say how was your week. I'm having fun and telling the truth but I just showed a sense of humour, resilience and the ability to play a little social game. So am I a loser because I was bitching about my week? You don't have to be Captain America all the time to get the girl. Self amusement often saves the day and believe me you ll need it to get through all those boring chicks.


Sometimes bold action wins, sometimes long game. Remember they re emotional changeable beings. ABA always b approaching. Let the randomness work for u. BTW I have 2 rules for a first date

1. Keep the conversation on them
2. Keep it focused on their feelings

Rule 1 will soon reveal if they have any personality or just a standard corporate drone / Sisterhood chick. My notch count is high enough so at that point I normally walk.

 

[Urbanyst]

Heh... this reminds me of the intro of Hitch when thinking about initial attraction:

Its true!

 

[comic_relief]

What I learned after 13 years since I started visiting this forum:
1.) you are better off being single with no women around than being in a bad relationship
2.) Fake it until you make it (but always be working towards making it)
3.) work your ass off to get to where you want to be at
4.) Don't lie... just... don't...
5.) Have fun with life
6.) Life isn't all about girls and they will come once you become successful. Work on yourself first because you will always be around while everyone else will not be there.
7.) Choose your college major with an end game in mind. I started out as political science but if you do not know how to get from Point A to Point B. You better figure it out or switch degrees to something that you can use. I'm now an environmental scientist after getting my BS in Geology.

- comic_relief

 

[TheFixer14]

I have to say, I've been taking a break from women and just focusing on myself and I feel way more mentally stable. And when I am around women I just feel better because I want nothing. I can apply that to when I want to go back at it.