What I miss most about the single life....

[old_skoolr]

So...I start 2016 with my very first girlfriend. I'm 25, just came back form a 4 month European vacation which I tried to drink & bang as much as possible. I came back to 5 plates plus the current gf waiting for me to smash and/or date them. 2 wanted a a fb, one said she wanted a fb, but I can tell underneath she wanted more, one wanted to date me and used to video call me in Europe, another wanted to "see" me and the current gf was waiting to see my face again.

I came back started messaging the girls about when they can see me, this that. But after a few days of messaging trying to organize what day to see each girl and tell them my stories of perversion and utter awesomeness, after a while I could not be utterly fvcked with any of them. I could not be fvcked with the games, the scheduling, the planning, the effort, the money and above all, the TIME, I'd have to invest in seeing, talking, planning, banging these girls. And then having to deal with these girls insanity once I told them this is no more then sex.

I was over it all.

I suddenly understand why guys like Pook, just got over gaming chicks. Its literally a waste of time. It made me realize that once you get a decent share of pvssy, it really gets boring. But what I miss most about being single, wasn't the sex with these different girls (which was a close second btw.) but actually the chase. The initial confrontation and the building of attraction, whether at a bar or club or lounge or cafe. It was that first meeting with a new girl, that I enjoyed the most.

Letting this absolute stranger, peer inside the life of this epic being which I am, and like most girls, they immediately think what an arrogant ashole, but that's the whole point of my game. Emotion is the key to women, if you can control their emotions with your actions, then the game is won.

The next stage was the part I hated the most. The games. Trying to pick a date to see her, her flaking, but still wanting to see you, trying to pick a place to see her. The logistics of trying to get her to the cafe, from the cafe to your place and from your place on your d1ck then out the door.....was absolutely BORING!!!!! Loved the sex, hated the games up to it then after it. The amount of times girls told me they liked me for a fb, then complaining that I don't want to date them...I got over it really hard.

Sex is great, but the head****s that can come after it, makes you wonder if its really worth it.

But alas, I'm now a taken man. And although I really care about my gf, I still miss that chase of getting a girl to feel attraction. I still wont pass up a chance to chat a girl n a club or bar if I see the oppurtunity, the only diff is, I'll be deleting her number once I have it.

Appreciate you reading this, just wanted to vent abit about how I was feeling.

Cheers lads.

 

[Desdinova]

I suddenly understand why guys like Pook, just got over gaming chicks. Its literally a waste of time.

Yup, and it becomes a huge pain in the ass. Women eating up time that you could spend doing other, more useful things. I have enough trouble these days having one GF, nevermind having two or more plates. I just don't have the time to be a man wh0re anymore.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

The problem with "doing other more useful things" is that in our western society, what are men supposed to do that they really can value? I mean, I'm excited because I have a lot of learning and practice to do in things like language learning, getting ripped, learning an martial art, etc. But in th end, why am I doing all these things? I don't do it "for my country", or "for my family" or "for my gang". I just do it for myself, but I really think that we Men need to do things for an external structure, for something bigger than ourselves. I don't know if I'm explaining myself.

I'll put an example: You just finished brewing a superb wine, the best wine you have ever produced. Now, you can drink it alone while looking at the mountains and eating a little of cheese, or you can call your friends/family and share it with them. In which of these situations can you picture yourself happier?

 

[Desdinova]

I'll put an example: You just finished brewing a superb wine, the best wine you have ever produced. Now, you can drink it alone while looking at the mountains and eating a little of cheese, or you can call your friends/family and share it with them. In which of these situations can you picture yourself happier?

Both. I live for my own pleasure and satisfaction. I keep my job because it gives me a lot of "me" time. I'll be proud of the wine I've created. I'll enjoy the company of friends/family. Both situations are excellent.

I honestly don't feel the need to do things for other people. My goal is to live an enjoyable, self-fulfilling life. I already have a lot of that in place, but I'm always aiming for more. Being debt-free would free up resources to make my life more comfortable and enjoyable.

The bottom line is, I'm the only one I can depend on, so I should spoil myself as much as I can without fvcking up my finances or endangering my living situation.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

Maybe you are right. I don't know, I feel like I need to do a lot of unplugging. Maybe I've been too long in the provider role and I still miss it. Well, time will tell.

 

[Bingo-Player]

what concerns me is the level of awareness needed when dealing with women it can be mentally exhausting

you relax and let your guard down for so much as 5 seconds and she has the capacity to reduce you to a quivering wreck

i have had a decent share of pu$$y in my 23 years on this planet probably more than most men will get

but even now I'm starting to wonder whats next !?! ......women are holding less and less appeal to me as every month goes by

they've almost become a process and that process is starting to bore me

 

[Desdinova]

Maybe I've been too long in the provider role and I still miss it.

The desire to be a provider is part of your nature as a man. It will never go away. What you must realize is that providing for others doesn't bring you true happiness. If you build your life on the foundation of pleasing others, your life will come crashing down if those people (or that person) suddenly leaves your life, does you wrong, or becomes undependable. The only person you can truly count on is yourself, and THAT should be the foundation of your life. Everyone else is just bricks. If one brick in your building of life fails, it can be repaired or replaced. Your life still remains solid because you've built your life on the foundation of yourself.

Being a provider is fine, but don't expect your life to be better because of it.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

The desire to be a provider is part of your nature as a man. It will never go away. What you must realize is that providing for others doesn't bring you true happiness. If you build your life on the foundation of pleasing others, your life will come crashing down if those people (or that person) suddenly leaves your life, does you wrong, or becomes undependable. The only person you can truly count on is yourself, and THAT should be the foundation of your life. Everyone else is just bricks. If one brick in your building of life fails, it can be repaired or replaced. Your life still remains solid because you've built your life on the foundation of yourself.

Being a provider is fine, but don't expect your life to be better because of it.

Of course, I don't want to be an extreme provider. But I mean what you said, that desire is part of our nature. I guess I'm just scared of how my life will turn out, a lot of guys here are loners because there is too little people that can understand and share these freedom and masculine values. It's a question of balance in the end. Oh well, I'm very young, maybe I will see the pendulum swinging back in my lifetime.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Of course, I don't want to be an extreme provider. But I mean what you said, that desire is part of our nature. I guess I'm just scared of how my life will turn out, a lot of guys here are loners because there is too little people that can understand and share these freedom and masculine values. It's a question of balance in the end. Oh well, I'm very young, maybe I will see the pendulum swinging back in my lifetime.

Many believe multiple generations have been effected and others believe men will conitually suffer an erosion of masculinity.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

Many believe multiple generations have been effected and others believe men will conitually suffer an erosion of masculinity.

I don't see how much masculinity can get degraded lol. That and the future collapse of energetic resources and the lack of children in our countries will make the pendulum swing sooner or later. I mean, either the men of our society wake-up and grow some balls, or we will get erradicated by real men. It's the ultimate cuck fantasy after all.

 

[NSX-R]

Gold thread till now , i think it would be better to be moved into the Mature Man section

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

I see the essence of the OP and the responses. It is the natural conclusion to come to as men especially getting older and starting to realise different successes in life. I have these pangs of indifference myself. Everyone does. Women have them far more than men, coz they aren't as driven by sex. Half the time, when I see some SS regular or other giving advice like 'your Princess is in another castle' (nismo's standard response just springs to mind), I don't think that the girl is necessarily with another guy; I think actually, the (current) guy has just fcked up and she is simply walking away, in any particular direction, because she too has better things to get on with than hang out with some sap.

Some bird I went on a date with recently said, 'what is your time worth?' when we got in to conversation about career vs. other life goals. She seemed of the opinion that a career didn't matter to her; rather she worked so she could travel, which was her real life goal. Fine, we cannot criticise the ambitions of others.

Though obviously in the back of her mind, this chick is like many others, is just wanting to be on holiday constantly, waiting for the 'right guy' who's gonna make it happen for her; might be cynical, but may be not to far from truth.

Finally, two points regard the OP:

-If you are disenchanted by the company you keep, seek a different type of person, or even lifestyle choice altogether. Birds of a feather flock together. As you say, the quality of the company will likely dictate the quality of the experience.

-The OP does come across as a little melodramatic; a bit whiny, like 'Woe is me, I have so much choice, I'm so bored with all this choice'. Though that is fairly symptomatic of the society we live in; endless choice, yet chronic lack of fulfillment. As a rough estmate, I'd say it's less about being 'bored with gaming', but more to do with a lack of effort in other areas of life, while being infatuated with game. Balance is key to avoid burn out.

Put it this way, there's no harm in just enjoying people's company. Not every experience has to blossom in to something meaningful and long lasting; but the enjoyment found in the small moments, no matter where you are or who you are with, is perpetuating.

 

[dustmuffin]

The problem with "doing other more useful things" is that in our western society, what are men supposed to do that they really can value? I mean, I'm excited because I have a lot of learning and practice to do in things like language learning, getting ripped, learning an martial art, etc. But in th end, why am I doing all these things? I don't do it "for my country", or "for my family" or "for my gang". I just do it for myself, but I really think that we Men need to do things for an external structure, for something bigger than ourselves. I don't know if I'm explaining myself.

I'll put an example: You just finished brewing a superb wine, the best wine you have ever produced. Now, you can drink it alone while looking at the mountains and eating a little of cheese, or you can call your friends/family and share it with them. In which of these situations can you picture yourself happier?

I can watch TV and many times that is time better spent than going out on a date. I like steady puss so I want a gf eventually. Mainly because I'm older and don't want to put up with crap. But pandering to psychopaths is crap filled....kind if like a crap sammich....

 

[fastlife]

The thing you have to realize is that you can align game so that it fits your lifestyle--but you have to have a lifestyle in place first. But women really aren't all that much 'effort'--at least they don't have to be.

My frame is that I'm not going to put anymore time/effort into a girl at any point in the relationship/seduction than I'll be willing to put in when all the chips are down and I have other things that I absolutely have to take care of. This means you will lose a lot of girls--that's ok; the ones who make an effort to fit into my reality are the ones worth keeping there. And the minute it stops being fun is the minute I bail. It's all about expectations and establishing them up front; girls will be equally content/discontent with minimum effort as maximum effort--but it's up to you to establish the expectations of what's they should expect as far as effort levels. You could have just as easily come home and shoot a "Come over" text to each individual girl when it worked for you; some girls wouldn't've been able to make it, but the ones who did get to stay in the rotation.

 

[skinnyguy]

I stopped chasing all kinds of puss; now I only focus on the ones worth dealing with. Stopped going to clubs, stopped cold approach. It ends up eating a lot of time. I now know what my type is and I'm happier because of it. I don't waste time on girls who won't be into me. Also I stopped fantasizing about hooking up with random women. Rather I try to pursue things that make me a better man and the women follow.

 

[old_skoolr]

Finally, two points regard the OP:

-If you are disenchanted by the company you keep, seek a different type of person, or even lifestyle choice altogether. Birds of a feather flock together. As you say, the quality of the company will likely dictate the quality of the experience.

-The OP does come across as a little melodramatic; a bit whiny, like 'Woe is me, I have so much choice, I'm so bored with all this choice'. Though that is fairly symptomatic of the society we live in; endless choice, yet chronic lack of fulfillment. As a rough estmate, I'd say it's less about being 'bored with gaming', but more to do with a lack of effort in other areas of life, while being infatuated with game. Balance is key to avoid burn out.

Put it this way, there's no harm in just enjoying people's company. Not every experience has to blossom in to something meaningful and long lasting; but the enjoyment found in the small moments, no matter where you are or who you are with, is perpetuating.

Loving the responses guys....

I did sound a lil whiny after I read over the post, but I think my rant comes from more of an evolution of game then, just whining about options. Dating girls became repetitive and I was beginning to see patterns with girls, and then once it got easier, it got boring. Then I started to wonder why was I bothering using Tinder, going out to clubs, flirting with hot checkout girls, when it would all lead to the same ****. So getting a gf was my solution, but I still love the idea of trying new, creative and absolutely insane ways to talk to girls and get their number.

I do think a well balanced guy. I work 2 jobs and still maintain a social life, hanging with different friends as well as making time for the gf, plus my hobbies of video game collecting. Gaming girls became an unwanted distraction.

In all I wrote this just trying to share my experience to more newer DJs, that dating women is fun, but if you do it for too long, it gets tired and repetitive.

Guys on this forum aged 16-21, should be focusing on themselves, go to school, be healthy, read a book, learn something new, be a successful young man, but also when its time to party....fvck **** up so people remember your name hahha.

By the time you hit your mid 20s, girls will be all over you and you'll be able to see where I and other DJ on this forum past and present, where coming from.

 

[Glumix]

This is a great thread guys!

The problem with "doing other more useful things" is that in our western society, what are men supposed to do that they really can value?

That is a really good question.

I started to wonder about that a few months/years ago.

In our western society there is no action things a woman cannot do anymore. And women love to be like men, even being masculine, they love that. They have career, they are mechanical engineers, astronauts, firewomen, policewomen, they climb mountains, they drive hummers, they drink beer, fart, etc... all masculine traits.

Feminists say that masculinity and femininity are social construction. Still, those women often wonder why it is so painful to find the Right Guy and that's because nature is pretty well done.

Masculinity attract femininity so when you lack femininity you will attract guys who lack masculinity. That's why.

So, about your question, who values what men do?

Actually, the need to have others giving value to yourself is a feminine trait. Real men do not need that. And that's pretty much the only thing that differentiate men and women in the today's universe. And it is NOT going to change because you cannot change nature.

Women receive and men give sexual energy and that is NEVER going to change.

If you depend on receiving from others (attention, validation, etc...) then you are on the wrong side of the fence and you better jump back on the male side quickly. As stated above by Desdinova, men are providers.

One man need to really engrave that in his mind to grow his masculinity.

Social media is the mirror of our society. The day there will be no more men on social media trying to fullfill their narcissism and get some attention from women, women will be back on the streets and bars to GAIN their attention. The day women with masculine traits will be given no more attention (even for their body), they will grow their feminine traits again. And that will be the death of feminism.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

This is a great thread guys!



That is a really good question.

I started to wonder about that a few months/years ago.

In our western society there is no action things a woman cannot do anymore. And women love to be like men, even being masculine, they love that. They have career, they are mechanical engineers, astronauts, firewomen, policewomen, they climb mountains, they drive hummers, they drink beer, fart, etc... all masculine traits.

Feminists say that masculinity and femininity are social construction. Still, those women often wonder why it is so painful to find the Right Guy and that's because nature is pretty well done.

Masculinity attract femininity so when you lack femininity you will attract guys who lack masculinity. That's why.

So, about your question, who values what men do?

Actually, the need to have others giving value to yourself is a feminine trait. Real men do not need that. And that's pretty much the only thing that differentiate men and women in the today's universe. And it is NOT going to change because you cannot change nature.

Women receive and men give sexual energy and that is NEVER going to change.

If you depend on receiving from others (attention, validation, etc...) then you are on the wrong side of the fence and you better jump back on the male side quickly. As stated above by Desdinova, men are providers.

One man need to really engrave that in his mind to grow his masculinity.

Social media is the mirror of our society. The day there will be no more men on social media trying to fullfill their narcissism and get some attention from women, women will be back on the streets and bars to GAIN their attention. The day women with masculine traits will be given no more attention (even for their body), they will grow their feminine traits again. And that will be the death of feminism.

I was actually saying that we as men can do nothing in our society that WE value. We're not the builders of our country anymore, we can't build a family, we can't fight, even hunting is now a bad thing to do. But anyhow you are right with your point, and I think that maybe MRA fall in this error, they are trying to be valueted by others.

 

[Glumix]

We're not the builders of our country anymore, we can't build a family, we can't fight, even hunting is now a bad thing to do.

Why do you say you cannot do that anymore? You can. There are many fights you can fight for. You can build your country. You can do everything. And you can value that.

Who is your hero or idol? Who is your authority?

The problem is perhaps that you are your own idol through the eyes of women or your mother.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

Why do you say you cannot do that anymore? You can. There are many fights you can fight for. You can build your country. You can do everything. And you can value that.

Who is your hero or idol? Who is your authority?

The problem is perhaps that you are your own idol through the eyes of women or your mother.

Why would I fight for a country that despise men and contributes everyday for its own degeneration? The only fight that we can fight nowadays is the fight for self-improvement. We are in a similar state that the romans when the Empire was falling; all the great men of the time were stoics, they did their part in their society but were not emotional invested.