What has this site done to me....Listen up master Dons and all

[Lozz]

Ok now like most DJ's of this site it all started with a case of one-itis and as it so happens it did with me.

Carry on reading, I think you'll be intrigued.

Ok so this girl I couldn't get with and was totally infatuated with her. I discovered this site, eventually forgot about her and had picked up many girls and girlfriends.

Me and this girl were friends and in the past month or so we've gotten closer to the point where I thought something might come of this. One night we had a great time out and eventually we kissed. I knew it would happen soon but what was suprising is that it was about two years ago when my infatuation started and now I have her - NO!

A few days later I speak to her on the phone and she tells me she just wants to be friends. WTF! This seemed pretty out of the blue n she said it was a drunk mistake - Not sure I believe that.

You know what? Now it starts again n I feel **** because of this. I have a feeling that it's not over just like that and I'm wondering if anyone has any good advice for me? Is there anything you think I can do?

 

[squirrels]

Nope, not intrigued at all. Have you read the "DJ Bible" at all? Judging by this post, I'd say no. You've been infatuated with this girl for two years?? What are you doing with your life, man?

I've seen girls kiss their girl-friends when they get drunk enough. It's harmless fun. I'd say from this post that you're about on-par with one of them in her eyes.

Two years. Get a life, dude. Not being mean, but seriously, get a life.

 

[Chemistry]

First impressions...

She still sees you as that guy...

But when you're drunk things get carried away... you were there you might not look BAD, but she still sees you OR remembers you as how you were 2 years ago...

Now if you were that DJ you wouldn't place ALL that value on one kiss with a girl... that infatuation came back immediately, and the AFC came back out now you feel like ****, you hadn't banished the AFC from inside you, you'd simply been keepin it tied down rather than pickin up what being a DJ is all about...

Just get on with things and see what comes your way, make things you want come your way, accept that some won't but do capatalise on everythin possible... for your happiness to be broken by this girl after one kiss you obviously haven't suceeded in that... the key is makin yourself happy from what YOU do, once you have that base in place then everythin else is a BONUS, and if you lose it you might be disappointed, but you'll never be that broken man because YOU are happy based on what you're doing and accomplishin'... and you realise that there is a MASS of girls to meet

I mean being hooked up is a burden... say you go to that club and see girl who looks THAT good and furthermore say she makes it clear she wants you... you CAN'T get with THAT... you limit yourself which is never a good thing to do when you're young

 

[Lozz]

Ash thamks I appreciated your advice but guys don't take the piss ok. One I have not been obsessed with this girl at all and I've got a Fvcking life getting girls all the time!

Also this wasn't from just one kiss. We have gotten really close and we wern't drunk. That was just her excuse.

I simply asked if there was anything I can do to get this girl back on track.

You think I'm a sucker - NO! I wanna make that clear. I'm not only planning on getting this girl alone. I just like her a lot and she's pretty cool to be with.

Now! Without any more insults is there any helpful advice from anyone?

 

[ManOMan]

She kissed you, then told you it was a drunk mistake, and you dont believe that? or dont want to believe that?

Even if she wasnt drunk, she verbally told you she wasnt interested.

If anything, after you guys had a break from one another, she probably kissed you to see if there were any sparks or if you were the same LJBF from 2 years ago, and for her there wasnt

The only way I can relate to this is my story which is the opposite of yours:

This girl has been infatuated with me for like 8 years, we were always friends, nothing more

One drunken night, we messed around, and the next day I regreted it, and told her "Sorry, but I see you as a sister and I was very drunk"

She was a little upset and told me I had given her hope and stirred feelings in her that she thought were dead. We became friends again.

The point being, kissing does not always mean High IL (especially when drunk)

we cannot give you advice on how to "get this girl" becase she just isnt interested. If I were you, I would NEXT her and move on before you get stuck in oneitusville again.

 

[Chemistry]

Ah, but that's how it came across on the read... feeling like **** as this girl did not come through

I'm not an advocate of reading in to gettin close unless I have somethin concrete in the form of a kiss or more... I was under the impression this is the first kiss you are talkin about in this thread, thus from a personal viewpoint whatever happened before 'over a period of time' was irrelevant...

Given that you appear on the facts to have done nothing wrong there is nothing that you can fix... but the facts are simply an outline... were you out on 'a date' simply the two of you, if so you might have handled yourself wrongly... were you out with a mutual group of friends in which case she might never have had an intention of gettin with you but it just happened... etc etc

The ball is in her court, you aren't going to sway her without lookin like an AFC, she already KNOWS where YOU stand on the situation... swaying directly is begging, she's given her answer so respect it and get on with other girls because she is just another girl

It could be any number of factors which have caused her not to follow through... she's thought about it and realises it was a mistake, she doesn't want anythin right now, she has somethin that she has her eye on right now... and the list goes on


Now you appear to have some form of general contact with this girl in which case you go about your daily business and get with others... she's turned you down, you can only exert value to her indirectly now, but if after gettin with others you STILL want this girl then she MAY be swayed to you over time... for me personally, it's quite black and white, either they want you or they don't... if one girl says that she does not have the time for you, then you find one who does rather than linger over it and wonder what happened... all you know is that somethin did happen... what that somethin is, isn't important

One-itis comments arise from the fact that you appear to want to sway this one girl and have shown this history of infatuation which you got over but appears to have rushed back to you once you saw some light with this girl... girls are swayed by how you act around them, and based on your actions she's decided that you do not have what it is she wants, nothin that is going to come out of your mouth will change this...

 

[Lozz]

I know where you're coming from and everything and I know I gotta leave it I guess.

Anyway what I was saying is that this wasn't out of the blue. It was a relationship that has built up to the point where a kiss was inevitable. I realised she was really into me so I went in for the kill. What I'm confused about is the sudden change of heart she had. We were all out with mates, we danced, got on really well the whole night and had a passionate kiss.

Correct me if I'm wrong but to suddenly do a 180 seemed strange to me. If theres nothing else I can do then thats fine, I'll next her. I only wanted your opinion on if there was anything to save this.

Thanks for the help btw

 

[00Kevin]

I would focus on other girls and when she comes around again. I would try to f**k her in the ass next time. then next her

 

[ManOMan]

Listen Lozz,

Like I said, girls seem to always want to test chemistry with a guy by kissing them. If they dont feel any passion or sensuality, they then dismiss the guy.

This girl probably likes you alot as a friend, but doesnt feel the sparks of romance, most likely she was testing the waters to see if things had changed since you havent talked for a while

She probably didnt feel anything, and this is why she told you it was a mistake

It is VERY bad when a girl kisses you then tells you it was a mistake

you have to cut your losses bro, I know you like her alot and you want it to work out somehow, but I dont think there is anyway to raise her romantic IL

you gave it a shot, it didnt work out

 

[DJ_Dork]

uhhh 2 year infatuation. Well bro, some of us dudes have been there.. being friends with a girl for months or years and then if we do something daring they either shoot us down or whatever. Listen, it is hard for guys to go from friends to boyfriends if you've known each other for more than half a year. You can do so early in the game if you think she is worth it. Thinking about it, when I got LJBF and I can tell she and me had some feelings.. I would prefer to have her as a friend and nothing else. If the situation were different.. I'd still feel the same because she has some problems that I don't like and she's not tall enough for me. If anything more than half a year.. you are in the friends zone permanently unless you all of a sudden disappear on her and show up a year later.. then MAYBE you can do this.

Just be fine in her presence but look at other women too.

 

[Master Homer]

I agree with some of the other posters, getting "out of the friends zone" is hard. But I wouldn't say impossible. I think you lost your chances tho.

However, the girl I'm dating now was my "friend" for over a year. It wasn't a normal friendship though; I treated her like a different species since the beginning. Even using massive amounts of DJ techniques I don’t think it’s going to last either. I dunno man.

That's what pisses me off the most. Any guy that has a long term "friendship" with a girl is gonna want her and usually falls in love with her. That's why u should avoid being good friends with girls unless you can live loving a girl with no return. You gotta treat girls like potential girlfriends.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Lozz - I have a sledge hammer in my hands and I am ready to take the next plane to London to knock some sense into your head. Everyone here tells you to leave this girl alone and you keep asking how you can 'win' her over! This girl does not want you and you should never never never become friends with a woman who you are romantically inspired by!

Have some dignity and leave her alone!!

 

[Chemistry]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
you should never never never become friends with a woman who you are romantically inspired by!

Amen...

Only way havin' a girl as a friend is gonna work is by you seeing them as a sister... I've got a couple girls who I can just chill with and kick it on that basis, there is no real interest there...

You see a girl who you are 'romantically inspired by' and you have to go in for nothin besides the kill... you either get it in which case things progress, or you cut your losses and go for someone else.. if you progress on things via a weighty friend route - being cool is aight tho - then you become much more brother and sister rather than sexual partners...