What do you think she thinks

[captain55]

-Ex and I were on rocky terms. We talked things out and agreed to work it out.
-The next morning i totally change my mind and leave.
-She blows up my phone begging me to talk i say no we are done and block her.
-Two days later she is dropping off my stuff, we say our goodbyes and I try to give her a friend like hug and she starts making out with me!
Two weeks go by and i party it up, she insists on seeing me to drop off my stuff. I have her come by and do not attempt anything with her.
-Soon as she leaves my house, she calls me five minutes later saying she forgot to drop something else off and is back. We say our goodbyes again.
- The next day she sends me a text (about something random)....few hours later i post a picture of me with a hot chick and she immediately unfollows me.
- Hit her up out of the blue the other day and she is completely over me. Says she fell out of love with me.

I just can’t figure out why this woman would make out with me and start crying when i was keeping it casual. She also insisted we aren’t done forever and maybe we should come back in a year.

Now two weeks later after no contact, she is complete over me. Is this the out of site out of mind with bpd?

 

[Billtx49]

Don’t try to make sense out of her mindset. She’s disordered and it never works to try and understand it. This type of woman can drive men to the brink of insanity trying to understand her.
Try to get to the point where she deserves None of your brainpower.

 

[btownbuck2012]

She has you right where she wants you now. Stop pursuing her all together before this gets out of hand...and it will if you keep it up. As hard as this is to do, you must try and move on.

 

[dude99]

She chased you, you weren't interested. She stops the chase and unfollows you and now you are asking where did she go?

She just went no contact on you and now has your hampster wheel spinning.

 

[captain55]

Is this your first serious breakup?

No but first girl i ever lived with. And the longest. 2nd bpd i dated, first true npd. It’s just crazy to me. Three months ago she wanted my baby and i was planning ways out of the relationship, now she’s over me and i miss her. I never really put much effort into her because i didn’t respect her or trust her.

 

[QuadDeuces]

BPD's are highly emotional creatures.
Very unpredictable.
Don't overthink it too much, it's not about you it's about their own emotions that fly all over the place they go from one obsession to the next.

 

[captain55]

I honestly feel like she realized that i didn’t know what I wanted. Maybe caught on that i was stringing her along for the sex.... all i did was bang her. I did the bare minimum to keep her interested in me

 

[captain55]

BPD's are highly emotional creatures.
Very unpredictable.
Don't overthink it too much, it's not about you it's about their own emotions that fly all over the place they go from one obsession to the next.

Judging by her actions i don’t think she had a replacement because she wouldn’t of fought me so hard to stay when i ended things. She genuinely wanted to work things out and was going to try for me but i ghosted her. My gut told me to but my heart didn’t want to.

Once I declined her final Hoover attempt i think she gave up and moved on and was over it.

 

[btownbuck2012]

I honestly feel like she realized that i didn’t know what I wanted. Maybe caught on that i was stringing her along for the sex.... all i did was bang her. I did the bare minimum to keep her interested in me

You lost major frame here. You basically played her, which if we're being honest is the highest frame a man can have with a woman - she was essentially a booty call. You were using her for sex. She bought into this for a while, however the moment you broke frame and reached back out to see whether or not she was still interested, AND probably did some other stuff that you weren't even aware of that she picked up on, she has now caught on to what is really going on. Women fawn over and g*ve up the p*ssy freely to men who truly don't give a f*ck about them and use them for sex. However the difference between you and these guys is that they wouldn't have given it a second thought the moment she walked. And that's why she would have eventually come back to them. You aren't the guy you portrayed yourself to be. That is a major turn off to women and a LETHEL position for her to have you in when she has a cluster B disorder. I'm telling you right now. You need to back off. This woman will punish you mercilessly the more you continue to reach out and think about her.

 

[captain55]

You lost major frame here. You basically played her, which if we're being honest is the highest frame a man can have with a woman - she was essentially a booty call. You were using her for sex. She bought into this for a while, however the moment you broke frame and reached back out to see whether or not she was still interested, AND probably did some other stuff that you weren't even aware of that she picked up on, she has now caught on to what is really going on. Women fawn over and g*ve up the p*ssy freely to men who truly don't give a f*ck about them and use them for sex. However the difference between you and these guys is that they wouldn't have given it a second thought the moment she walked. And that's why she would have eventually come back to them. You aren't the guy you portrayed yourself to be. That is a major turn off to women and a LETHEL position for her to have you in when she has a cluster B disorder. I'm telling you right now. You need to back off. This woman will punish you mercilessly the more you continue to reach out and think about her.

I think you misunderstood..... Its not like i suddenly started caring and she lost interest in me...i used her for sex the entire relationship until the day she lost interest in me. When she tried to come back (like you said she would) i did NOT try to bang her or give her any reason to think i wanted her. She even asked me if anyone was home when she was at my door and invited herself in..

So why is she suddenly over me when i pretty much turned her down and then had another hot chick with me on social media? Should make her want me more if anything

 

[captain55]

You miss the idea of her.
Obviously if you were looking for a way out she wasnt good for you.
I think she sniffed out that you were pmaying games with her and it turned her off.
Authenticity would have kept this one around.

Yeah i was

 

[derby1]

mate... mine would have dropped paracetomal off to me in the antarctic one day and then the next day over the slightest miss communication go NC on me and pop back up 4 weeks later...keep away for your own mental health

 

[captain55]

Are you diagnosed NPD?

The fact that I can feel empathy makes me think I'm not but you never know. Most of my friends consider me a really good guy. I don't look at people thinking I wonder what I can get out of them.

 

[btownbuck2012]

The fact that I can feel empathy makes me think I'm not but you never know. Most of my friends consider me a really good guy. I don't look at people thinking I wonder what I can get out of them.

Brother, you yourself said to us that you thought this girl had bpd/npd tendencies. Now that alone doesn't mean she has either disorder but it definitely means she's someone that's not fit for a relationship. You're in the beginning stages of this type of hell if you don't step back and just forget about her. You thought you were in control, you thought she would always be there giving you sex and at your beckon call forever. You ended it with her and she was very upset. She'll be back you thought. And then, out of the clear blue sky, she's over you. That is the setup. Now you can either get swallowed up here and enter into the dungeon OR move on. What are you going to do?

 

[captain55]

I just see MASSIVE ego protection mechanisms at play. Part of it is, I think we adopt their values as we stay with them. I went through a similar phase with mine.

I recall you were with a bpd not a npd. You developed abandonment issues?

A bit off topic, and I know this may sound overly confident but I truly believe that men with genuine intentions on keeping a woman can keep her. Assuming she really loves them in the first place...looking back at this I feel like I could to kept her if I really wanted to.

 

[captain55]

Nah, I've never been with a true BPD I don't think. I've been with two NPDs: one somatic over and one cerebral covert. What I developed was an ego shell and toxic values.

Your second statement is an ego defense mechanism. It is beyond irrelevant to your healing process, but you need to accept that you are damaged right now and need to heal. I highly recommend getting to the root of how you really feel about this. I too have dumped women I - thought - I didn't love and truth was I did love them and it hurt.

I definitely did love her. It definitely hurts. The fact that she was mentally ill, abusive, ha, and would of been the wrong choice to breed with is the only thing keeping me sane.

How do i know it’s gone be a rough road? Because she cheated on her ex multiple times and years later after finding a “nice chick” he still contacted her years later when she was with me despite being absolutely terrible to him !. You how narcissists and borderlines can tap into Your inner soul. The “ideal woman” unfortunately is nowhere near as fun as these cluster b’s.

When a nice girl comes along that’s doesn’t stress me out and is hot as **** I just get bored...like something is missing.

 

[penkitten]

She wants you to chase her and pine over her. Next!

 

[RalphaWreck]

She just went no contact on you and now has your hampster wheel spinning.

Whose the bytch now?