What do you make of this text that I got after the 1st date?

[jonwon]

Okay, I'm going to give you my Mature Man's thinking: You make it sound like the goal is to score on the first date. Maybe it is for some guys. So when you talk about "it only has power to some guy who does not know how to handle his ****", I think guys who can't handle their d1cks are the ones that need to score on the first date, their d1cks rule them.

If she takes another offer, then she's not all that into you, she'd most likely have spread her legs for whatever other guy she may have been out with that night instead. Any ****'ll do. Fine. But I've had chicks DROP other guys they were seeing right after they went out with me even when I didn't have sex on the first date with them. Now that's what you'd call an interested chick. I must be a helluva guy if I can get that kind of devotion without even "giving them a real good fuc*ing" first.

It's not like I haven't been where you are. Sex as soon as possible, sex on the first night, sure, that used to be my MO. But I found that what it does is get you into situations with women you don't really know. Whackos. Psychos. Yeah, I've had some relationships come out of them too. But who they really are comes out later after some time when their guard comes down and that's when the fun begins and guys post here with their WTF crazy chick stories and want to know what to do - mostly because they hooked up with basically strangers or made poor choices in their selection and hooked up with the wrong women. So your buddy may be going "steady" with a hot chick that he "fuc*ed from ten ways till Sunday" on the first night after some alcohol, but his having obtained a relationship with her so quickly does not qualify as any measure of success.

>> And a girl talking alot, is a sign of nerves, its a sign of interest - she does not want to mess her chances up with 'you'!>>

But if she doesn't return his texts/calls then why would she be messing up those chances, letting them slip away if she's interested? Why would she not have walked to her car with him?

>> Guys who have zero game - who do not have a clue about the two day rule are fuc*ing girls, they are sleeping with girls right now in-fact - What did they do, get lucky and wait two days and got her panties all wet? >>

No, many of them are rushing the chick and overwhelming her with their neediness and turning her off and not getting the date. Others are getting laid because she's horny. Or she's insecure and has low self esteem and is eating up the attention he's giving her, and she wants him. Like Tom Leykis preaches, go after the insecure, low self esteem chick, she's easy.

But let's say you come across a high self esteem woman. If you have game, and if she likes the way you look, you can take her level of interest and ramp it up literally speaking without doing anything. Makes just as much sense to do that as it does to make sure you're looking good. I mean, you already do things specifically to pull chicks, so this is simply yet another very good tool in the arsenal. Why knock it if it works?

Make them way more interested in you and trust me - you'll get plenty of sex for a far longer time from a way interested chick and the fact that you didn't have sex on the first night isn't going to be a problem.

We will agree to dis-agree.

If it works for you go with it. After all its about making yourself comfortable enough to enjoy it.

But I don’t do 'the two date rule bulls**t' and none of the girls I date are whacko's - nut jobs or anything else you want to label people if they don’t slot into your rigid code of thinking.

Has a matter of fact - the girl my friend pulled - who he slept with on the first night - owns her own business, slim, hot blonde - a women 85% of guys could only dream about -

Is she interested in him? I guess not, he did not wait two days.

Is the girl im seeing interested in me? Nope I better re-check, I did not wait two days, I better fill that void and give her 'the gift of missing me' - before it all comes crumbling down around myself and I find out she is actually a whack job, with low self-esteem and insecure.

Or maybe the whole rule is bulls**t and your need to keep drumming on about it, whilst making everything else out that does not slot into a rigid code set, negative! Is infact faulty logic.

There are plently upon plenty of successful guys out there dating girls who are not - low self esteem, insecure or what ever condition you want to label them -

I supose though, when your that sucked into the 'community' when your that in-grained into the 'system', its pritty easy finding 'scenario's' that slot into that system - but when all is said and done, for every scenario you presented, there are just has many if not more scenario's to counter.

Also I have no idea why where even debating this nonesense and it is nonesense, when the OP is gaming a chick called - whitetrashmum!

 

[LoneRanger]

nonesense, when the OP is gaming a chick called - whitetrashmum!

She is the most insecure 36 year old I ever met. Very down on herself but friendly. She had a tough upbringing.

Being that she is like that she is very watchful on her body and appearance. 6 foot tall and a body like a Cosmo magazine girl. You'll NEVER see women who look like that around here. NEVER. Most Amazon types here are chunky. lol.

The moment we met up she told me that my appearance surpassed her expectations and I was much better looking than in my photos. (I am).

However, I believe that it is her insecurity that messed things up here. I actually feel very sorry for her. I will stay silent and see if she can ever get the courage to IM me back.

In the meantime today I am fixing the trailer for my boat and replying to another woman who lives much closer and is interested.

 

[jophil28]

The dinner/walk date was at the mall. It was getting dark out and I offered to walk her to her car but then she started getting weird about it.:crazy: We said good by at the exit door.

.

I just noticed this quote from you...

A woman who says that is either infected with that psuedo independent feminist BS ("I don't need a man to protect me in the carpark" ) or, she was fearing what was likely to happen when you and she got to the car.
I agree with what Mr Me said, she was probably avoiding the mandatory carpark kiss, and the making out that usually follows in her car.
This theory is consistent with her reluctance to accept another date when you offered.

Frankly, I think that she is either extremely unsure of herself and highly anxious around men and was out with you for some entertainment and a little self confidence boost, OR her interest level dropped during the date and she was preparing her exit. By the time you offered to walk her to her car she had made her decision not to continue her connection with you.
Her later text about what a nice time she had was merely old fashioned politeness, not an indication that she wanted to do it all again.

Frankly, I think this one is not stable enought to even date casually.
Too bad. However a lot of the time the hot ones are the loonie ones.

You may hear from her again when she is lonely and wants someone to escort her out on a night of harmless entertainment...make your own decisions here, but I would suggest that you not give her another minute of your time UNLESS she calls and invites you out on a firm date which sounds great to YOU and which she organises and intends to pays for.

 

[LoneRanger]

(snipped)...
Frankly, I think this one is not stable enought to even date casually.
Too bad. However a lot of the time the hot ones are the loonie ones.

You may hear from her again when she is lonely and wants someone to escort her out on a night of harmless entertainment...make your own decisions here, but I would suggest that you not give her another minute of your time UNLESS she calls and invites you out on a firm date which sounds great to YOU and which she organises and intends to pays for.

jophil28, everything you said in your post is 100% right on the money.

She is very unstable and I don't expect to see or talk to her again.

 

[edger]

Just a few weeks ago, me and my buddie met two chicks in bar - after the night with them - we put them in a taxi and neither chick give any buying signs they wanted to fuc* - Anyway me and my friend headed home - He takes out his phone and rings the chick he just dropped off - now there was no interaction that told this guy he could fu** this chick, nothing - He just did it.

I go home, it was late and I had to be at work - he stays in the taxi and heads to the chicks house, even though she told him not to -

Next morning after he'd fuc*ed her from ten ways till Sunday, he phones me up and tells me about it - They are now going steady and this girl is hot.

THIS post is inspiring if she really had no interest in your friend. It is proof that even if a woman doesn't throw out buying signals, and EVEN tells the guy NOT to come over after he offers, you can still f*ck her.

BUT, she could've also wanted to f*ck as well, but didn't show it because her anti-sl*t defense was up. Your friend probably showed up at her house regardless because she gave him the feeling she DID want to sleep with him, otherwise I don't think any guy in his right mind would show up at some womans house if he really felt she didn't wanna f*ck. He would run the risk of coming off as a stalking creep and probably get nailed with a restraining order against him. I think she gave him that "feeling" that she wanted it, that's why he pursued it and took a taxi to her place. Also, if she really didn't wanna f*ck, she would've never let him in and would've probably called the cops.

 

[decades]

I did have fun tonight. Are you doing anything this weekend?
Lets chat tomorrow night if you have the time.
Good night, Becky.

It's hard for me to believe that an 8 in Michigan has never had experience with online dating at age 36. It's hard for me to believe this hot chick was nervous because she was inexperienced with men like you. Assume she has scores of other guys she has met online because if she is as described, she has those options and more.

It's funny but she already set herself up as the "wounded dove". You already know about her "rough" childhood, and how she bailed out on her marriage. You had bad vibes about the date, but instead of going home, taking some time and thinking about your next move, you expressed an interest to see her again. That conveys desperation (it comes across in your posts about the situation in MI as well). You tipped your hand and made her the prize at the end of the first date. You didn't leave her wondering if she had passed Your "test". You asked her "if she thinks we could do something like this again". That's not strong, not leading, and not setting you up as the prize.

With your text game, you sound like a really really "nice guy" here. Remember you are trying to Stimulate their senses when you first meet them. This may be a cliche but ****y and funny works. You have to build attraction. This text conveyed to her that you're nice and safe and available.

 

[docamore]

a). you should have not replied that night.
b). next move: call her in 5-9 days time... never on weekends,
c) when you call, just say hi, its' 'your name' then silent..... see if she still remembers your name. if she says, 'who?= low interests
d). see if she agrees with your date ideas in the beggining. See if she is flexible.... if she does not accept, or comes up with an alternative, reply with a conter-offer..... if she does not accept the conter-offer, tell her. Let's do this when you got more time...
e). withhold your number and never leave a message

she will test you. She wants to see whether you can take charge. be aware of this.

If you need further advice visit my website:

 

[LoneRanger]

It's hard for me to believe that an 8 in Michigan has never had experience with online dating at age 36. It's hard for me to believe this hot chick was nervous because she was inexperienced with men like you. Assume she has scores of other guys she has met online because if she is as described, she has those options and more.

She didn't have a photo in her profile. I took a chance on her based on the description she typed in; tall, thin, red hair, blue eyes and so on. She just got on the internet dating thing in the past few weeks. Her sister put her up to it and she told me on the phone that she never gets asked out. I can see why. She dominates the convo.

 

[LoneRanger]

a). you should have not replied that night.
b). next move: call her in 5-9 days time... never on weekends,
c) when you call, just say hi, its' 'your name' then silent..... see if she still remembers your name. if she says, 'who?= low interests
d). see if she agrees with your date ideas in the beggining. See if she is flexible.... if she does not accept, or comes up with an alternative, reply with a conter-offer..... if she does not accept the conter-offer, tell her. Let's do this when you got more time...
e). withhold your number and never leave a message

she will test you. She wants to see whether you can take charge. be aware of this.

If you need further advice visit my website:

I just pulled myself out of bed to find this IM

"Rebecca (5/16/2009 12:00:21 PM): hey, sorry i haven't been on, last couple of days have been crazy! didn't want you to think i was "ditching" you...been trying to care of my own stuff and being there for other people, too! OY! anyway, hope all is well, take care!"

What do you make of this?

I can post her photo so you guys can see what I am dealing with.

 

[decades]

don't chase this flake. let her do all the work. Let her come to you. toy with her. give her bits and pieces of your attention. give her a taste of her own medicine.

 

[jophil28]

I just pulled myself out of bed to find this IM

"Rebecca (5/16/2009 12:00:21 PM): hey, sorry i haven't been on, last couple of days have been crazy! didn't want you to think i was "ditching" you...been trying to care of my own stuff and being there for other people, too! OY! anyway, hope all is well, take care!"

The translation of that goes something like this ..." My life is in turmoil and in the last couple of days I have been putting out fires that I started by neglecting my responsibilities.
NOw that the smoke has cleared I figured that I better feed you an IM to see whether you are still on the end of the line.. I am not really interested , but you may be useful,so I want to keep you orbiting .
OH, and I want you to think that I am generous and charitable and caring because I was, " there for other people too ".
SO give me a call soon and you can entertain me again..."

BTW, what does "OY" mean ? A regional exclamation ?

 

[LoneRanger]

Yea, I am done with this one. I'll keep the IM open but not reply to see what else she types, if anything.

BTW, what does "OY" mean ? A regional exclamation?

A Jewish exclamation indicating fatigue, I guess.

She has no life. Does things for other people, even watches for their kids and according to her, not one of them show appreciation for it.

Next.

 

[jophil28]

She has no life. Does things for other people, even watches for their kids and according to her, not one of them show appreciation for it.

This is the 'martyr' position. It is loaded with self righteousness masquerading as charity and generosity.

" Next" indeed....

 

[The_411]

Frankly, she gives me a BPD impression. I would recommend that you stay far away.

Anytime a woman goes in to the poor me routine that's a good indicator of insanity to follow.

 

[Zunder]

It's not like I haven't been where you are. Sex as soon as possible, sex on the first night, sure, that used to be my MO. But I found that what it does is get you into situations with women you don't really know. Whackos. Psychos. Yeah, I've had some relationships come out of them too. But who they really are comes out later after some time when their guard comes down and that's when the fun begins and guys post here with their WTF crazy chick stories and want to know what to do - mostly because they hooked up with basically strangers or made poor choices in their selection and hooked up with the wrong women. .

I know I am late in here, but this is has what happened to me over the years. Ending up with whacko chicks that I bedded way too quick due to a combo of booze and my massively high sex drive.
Make them wait. Go home and flog your log.
I would never have talked liked this a few years ago - but if you let sex rule your life, then it will. Not all sex is good sex.

 

[LoneRanger]

I have had no contact with her since she sent me that message. She was nexted a long time ago.