What do you do when you find out a girl has a fat mom? Stay? Run?

[Heyzeus]

Do you think that a fat mom means their daughter will pretty much be fat someday.

I've met a couple hot skinny girls which is awesome but it seems they all have moms who are overweight later in life.

Now the most recent girl i've met is a five foot 3 or 4, beautiful blonde, 26 years old, great body real skinny, smart, funny, blah blah blah and she says she goes to the gym a few times a week.

Now you could say i'm pretty into health and fitness, i eat very healthy, lift for an hour and a half or so 5 days a week and maybe do an hour or two of cardio a week (used to run almost everyday but was getting too skinny and killing my gains so i stopped running so much)

So yeah i'm into fitness and being healthy and the thought of ending up with a girl who will stop taking care of herself and let herself get fat disgusts me. That's not the sort of partner i want later in life and i'm not gonna let my life be ruled by some girl. I work hard to take care of myself and i expect the same from any girl i'm going to be with. In addition i want to still be able to enjoy activities like biking and hiking and so on when i'm 60 and i would like to enjoy them with my wife, but you can't exactly do that with a fat obese wife.

I know i know i shouldn't be looking for a wife. Well i'm not really looking for a wife. I'm not interested in just hooking up though, i'm looking for a girl that has POTENTIAL. A girl that if i decided was cool and if i liked enough, i could see myself POSSIBLY being with. I look for a girl that has the qualities i would want in a long term partner but i don't go into it thinking of marriage, i don't start planning our life together, i just don't want to get involved with a girl that i know i wouldn't be compatible with, like a girl who was bisexual or a nudist or who lacked class.

That said, i come into a conflict with myself when trying to decide whether i should stay with a girl or not. Part of me hopes that if they just eat healthy most of the time and work out reasonably they should be able to avoid ending up like their mom, even after having kids. But the other part of me says "they are doomed, there's no chance, they are going to be fat you should just move on and hope to eventually meet that awesome hot skinny girl who also has a skinny mom."

So the recent girl although she says she doesn't eat totally healthy, she also doesn't eat a lot. She weighs less than 100 pounds i think(can't donate blood). We went for mexican on our first date and she had enchiladas and she only ate one and touched nothing else on her plate so she doesn't seem to have a huge appetite. SHe also doesn't seem to hate healthy food she just doesn't usually eat all that healthy i guess. So part of me thinks there is hope there.

But there is still the other part of me that thinks i'm just wasting time and she'll end up fat. I don't want to waste time that i could be using to meet other people to date a girl i can't see myself being with longterm. Last girl i dated i broke up with because she was stubborn and she ate horribly unhealthy (never once saw her eat healthy) and had a fat mom. SHe was the type of girl who wouldn't listen to me or wouldn't care about anything i said about health and so i could tell she would end up fat someday and not care at all. As a result of this most of my relationships tend to hover around the 3 month mark with me being the one who breaks up with them.

So is this something you guys would stop seeing a girl for? I tend to be quite picky, and while some say it's shallow i disagree with that because no matter how hot they are i won't stay with them or date them for long if they are stupid or immature and annoying. SO i expect more than just being hot.

On one hand i want to give them a chance and i hope that some of my healthiness and interest in fitness eventually rubs off on her, i hope that my healthy eating habits and the healthy food i cook would rub off on her but on the other hand i wonder if i should bother or even waste my time with it.

For now i plan on continuing to date her, i just started seeing her last weekend and i don't have any other girls i'm currently interested in here at UNI so i figure at the least i might as well date her and see how it goes until i meet someone else, can't hurt right?

BUt still i can't help but be dissappointed when i meet a girl who's hot and then find out her mom is fat. If it matters her sisters are heavier though her sisters have always been slightly heavier i think she said, they didn't just suddenly balloon up and she says her sisters take after her moms side while she takes after her dads side.

Is this just being too picky though? Or do i have a legitimate reason to be concerned.

Does anyone have any experience with this? anyone here had girls that they got more into health and how did that work out?

If you read this far, wow, thanks for reading and thanks for any input.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Is the girl fat now? If not it may be a good sign that she can control her eating habits even though she has access to a less than healthy environment. Best bet is to pay attention to the girl's lifestyle.

 

[Embrace]

I didnt read your post. But however, dont you think that if the girl stays fit that she'll stay skinny?

It can deffinitley be in the genes but she could stay skinny if she'd like.

Plus, do you actually PLAN on marrying this chick?

I dont know what your age is, but I know at my age (17) I wouldnt worry about it till I was around 30 planning to marry. And by then I think the chick would be fat if she was going to be fat or not.

 

[Scrumtulescence]

Only read the first couple sentences, but it's not just genetics that determines how much a girl will weight later in life. Lots of women just get lazy and let themselves go, especially after they get married. You just need to find someone who's committed to a healthy lifestyle and exercising.

 

[Driven2Succeed]

If shes 26 and has still maintained an awesome body, and actually Works Out to keep it in shape, then thats a good thing.

I was in a one year relationship with a girl who was doomed. She was 5'2 and 100 pounds when I was with her. The Kicker is that she did absolutely no exercise and ate like total ****. I saw her Mom a few times and I was thinking that same thing. Her mom is huge.. so thats the part she will play if she doesn't start exercising..

 

[Heyzeus]

What do you think in regards to changing people.

I know you shouldn't really expect to change people or you shouldn't date someone hoping you can chage things that someone is set in their ways about.

obviously though some things are bigger changes than others. Trying to change someones emotions is a lot harder than trying to change some little habits, like a women can sometimes get a guy to change and be a bit cleaner or wear nicer clothes. My hope would be that if a girl works out she atleast shows that she isn't totally against the idea of the gym my hope would be that as long as i practice health and restraint and stay fit and excercise that i'll be able to keep her staying fit and healthy.


As for marriage i have no specific plans to marry this girl, it's way to soon to really even thing about that, but i don't like to waste my time dating girls that i don't think atleast have the potential for long term dating or marriage. Yeah i may meet and make out with some chick at a club while drunk that doesn't meet my standards (this is assuming i'm single, i don't cheat) but that's just making out with some chick, i'm not dating her. So fooling around a little is different because i'm not investing lots of time in some girl i'm just messing around with. So yeah i don't like investing lots of time in people that i don't think have potential, so far i think she has potential so i'm not gonna call it off.

Maybe i just need some reassurance or something that genetics isn't the end all be all. I do believe people can overcome genetics through hard work and determination so i guess it really depends on her personality.

like i said above in my first post the girl that was stubborn i could tell would be one who wouldn't listen or take other peoples input. She would be the type who if you said "you really shouldn't eat that, it's not healthy" she would be like "oh yeah, watch me" and eat it just to spite you. So yeah i broke up with her, lol.

I guess no one can predict the future, i just hate to take such a large risk or gamble and i hate wasting my time.

 

[PRMoon]

I've actually tricked some of my girlfriends who were gaining weight into eating more healthy. I have a supurb dieting schedule which is easy to maintain and prevents me from gaining weight. Part of this is mental for me but I've found ways to make food that taste good and are good for you (look i'm like an informercial). Anyway, I've invited girls over dinner and made these meals for them and picked restarunts that we go out to periodically when we were dating being selective about the places. After a while, you can semi condition them to eating well and reducing their fat and caloric intake. You can also plan activites, like hiking, swiming, frisbee in the park, rock climbing etc etc to keep weight down that way.

One other thing I've noiticed is that MOST (not all) girls who see you doing good weight/health managment yourself and make it look easy will somewhat do the same. Have you heard the expression "You two have been together so long that you're starting to look alike"? This happens very often to close knit couples but girls who are very interested/attracted to their mate are often possessive. The last thing they want is to see their fit boyfriend getting hit on by a girl who's much skinnier the they are or looks how they once did, prehaps when the two of you met for the first time. SOME girls are neurotic about this, especially if you start showing signs of dissinterest and you're a prize, and will literally break their back in order to become more visually appealing to men and gain more attention.

Keep this in mind when dating any girl for an extended period of time. Having an overweight mother doesn't necessarily mean that this is where your g/f will be in the future but concidering the US is the fattest country in the world, you really don't want to take the risk that she ends up in that condition regardless.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

When it comes to weight, lifestyle can have more baring than genetics. People have control over their lifestyles.

 

[Heyzeus]

When it comes to weight, lifestyle can have more baring than genetics. People have control over their lifestyles.

that what i hope and would like to think.

I guess since i can't predict the future all i can do is make sure to date a girl who is open to other peoples opinions and ideas and who isn't super stubborn and set in her ways and then just hope i can keep them in line by keeping myself in line

my one friend likes to joke saying "you're so picky that you'll end up a sad lonely old man" and while i disagree i wouldn't go to the extreme that he does and i highly doubt i would be sad or lonely even if i never got married, i can still see where he's coming from and a women definately adds a lot to life.

Don't have to have one to be happy but it certainly adds a lot to life and can make life much more enjoyable if you pick the right one.

 

[88888888]

I hope you're juicing otherwise 1.5 hours 5 days a week is overtraining or not proper training in the gym. You're either doing nothing a lot or are overworking out without the juice.


As for gaining weight after children. I look at it as there is a chance they will get their mother's genes. Unless she's super dedicated to eating healthy and working out the rest of her life; but once married and having children I'm guessing her incentive will drop so her diet may vary along with making time for the gym.

On a side note, just say it. You do at some point want a wife. Since this is the case you might as well look for the qualities you want in a wife otherwise you're wasting your time and won't find a wife that you would be satisfied with.

 

[Heyzeus]

On a side note, just say it. You do at some point want a wife. Since this is the case you might as well look for the qualities you want in a wife otherwise you're wasting your time and won't find a wife that you would be satisfied with.

I agree with the wife thing though i'm not necessarily planning on marrying this girl. LIke you said i don't want to waste my time though dating a girl that i don't think has the qualities of a wife and the potential to be one.


Below is just work out stuff/info, skip if you don't care.


I don't do roids, my workout usually ranges from 1 hour to 1 1/2 hours.

I usually take a 30 second to 1 minute rest between sets, and a 3-4 minute rest between different excercises.

and then i throw in a little abs work here and there while doing my excercises

Modays: chest (takes about an hour. I do flat, incline, and decline bench and flys)

Tuesday: biceps (takes about an hour and 15 min depending. )

Wed: legs (leg press (don't do free weight squats cause of knees), leg curls and extensions and calves)

Thursday: back and triceps (this is usually my longest workout, takes about a full hour and a half to do and i do 4 different back and tricep excercises.

Friday: Shoulders and neck (45 minute work out or so)

saturday and sunday: rest unless i rested wed, then i'll do legs on either sat or sunday.

and then if i decide to i'll run maybe for an hour on sat or sunday. I used to run an hour a day on the elliptical 6 sometimes 7 days a week. Back then i really was overtraining and i was overworking and exhausting myself, my bench max peaked at 1 rep at 245. I lost some strength though over the past two months due to being away from the gym for a month due to vacation and then also finals before vacation and i just didn't make it like i should of. When i started back 3 weeks ago i could only do 1 rep at 215, this monday i did 3 reps at 230 so my strength is coming back fast. I've been seeing really good results since i've stopped running so much, my craving for carby foods and sweets are pretty much totally gone compared to how i used to get them all the time(i would just resist them as much as possible). Now i have a lot more energy and am a lot less tired so i'm not overtraining anymore, though i used to way overtrain.

 

[Warboss Alex]

What do you do when you find out a girl has a fat mom? Stay? Run?

look forward to my mother-in-law's cooking!

 

[88888888]

I agree with the wife thing though i'm not necessarily planning on marrying this girl. LIke you said i don't want to waste my time though dating a girl that i don't think has the qualities of a wife and the potential to be one.


Below is just work out stuff/info, skip if you don't care.


I don't do roids, my workout usually ranges from 1 hour to 1 1/2 hours.

I usually take a 30 second to 1 minute rest between sets, and a 3-4 minute rest between different excercises.

and then i throw in a little abs work here and there while doing my excercises

Modays: chest (takes about an hour. I do flat, incline, and decline bench and flys)

Tuesday: biceps (takes about an hour and 15 min depending. )

Wed: legs (leg press (don't do free weight squats cause of knees), leg curls and extensions and calves)

Thursday: back and triceps (this is usually my longest workout, takes about a full hour and a half to do and i do 4 different back and tricep excercises.

Friday: Shoulders and neck (45 minute work out or so)

saturday and sunday: rest unless i rested wed, then i'll do legs on either sat or sunday.

and then if i decide to i'll run maybe for an hour on sat or sunday. I used to run an hour a day on the elliptical 6 sometimes 7 days a week. Back then i really was overtraining and i was overworking and exhausting myself, my bench max peaked at 1 rep at 245. I lost some strength though over the past two months due to being away from the gym for a month due to vacation and then also finals before vacation and i just didn't make it like i should of. When i started back 3 weeks ago i could only do 1 rep at 215, this monday i did 3 reps at 230 so my strength is coming back fast. I've been seeing really good results since i've stopped running so much, my craving for carby foods and sweets are pretty much totally gone compared to how i used to get them all the time(i would just resist them as much as possible). Now i have a lot more energy and am a lot less tired so i'm not overtraining anymore, though i used to way overtrain.

Yeah I bring this up because I used to overtrain. Sure I had insane strength but I was always on the verge of injury because my body wasn't getting time for recovery. I had better shape back then but it just wasn't worth it. Now I'm bigger than ever and stronger in most areas yet I work out less and my joints feel healthy. If your workout is working for you then maybe your body can take it. From a glance I'd say hitting your bi's prior to back isn't the best idea. I'd rather get back first then later in the week hit bi's but I see why you did that because monday is bench and bench takes tri's so if you switch you hit back and tri's right after hitting tri's on your bench day. Also 1hr 15 min strictly on bi's is excessive same could be said for hitting just chest for over an hour. But again if you find your body grows with then stick with it.

 

[Scrumtulescence]

I was just thinking about this, and saw this topic came back up. I have a sort of friend, a girl, who's really very naturally cute, and her body isn't bad at all either, although she could lose a couple pounds. But the thing is she almost NEVER exercises at all, eats whatever she wants, and overall just doesn't live a very healthy lifestyle. She's 23. I've seen her mom, and she's fairly fat and stubby, even though from pictures I've seen it looks like she used to be in her daughter's shape.

This girl has a boyfriend of a few years, and they're pretty serious about getting married, and I just feel sorry for the guy because, as beautiful as she is, I just know that once her metabolism craps out and she pops out a baby or two she'll probably end up like her mom. Really is a shame, because she's a fairly gorgeous girl now. Her boyfriend is even worse off, so while his lifestyle certainly won't be inspiration for her to stay in shape, I guess he kind of deserves it. :-/

Lord I hope she doesn't see this post, lol!

 

[wayword]

She was 5'2 and 100 pounds when I was with her. The Kicker is that she did absolutely no exercise and ate like total ****.

Well, you'd be surprised at how girls cheat to lose weight until they get married. VERY many don't eat much, are bulimic, smoke, pop diet pills, snort coke, etc.

In reality, they should just learn to eat healthy and exercise a bit - but most lack the self-discipline for that and would rather take the easy ways out (even though they are unhealthy and won't last).

 

[Scrumtulescence]

Well, you'd be surprised at how girls cheat to lose weight until they get married. VERY many don't eat much, are bulimic, smoke, pop diet pills, snort coke, etc.

In reality, they should just learn to eat healthy and exercise a bit - but most lack the self-discipline for that and would rather take the easy ways out (even though they are unhealthy and won't last).

Yeah it's weird. From everything I see, it just seems that girls/women in general use unnatural, unhealthy, short-term-but-largely-ineffective means of staying "fit". You can pump their pretty little heads full of all the dietary, nutritional and biological facts in the world, but in the end they just say "Hmmm okay!", and go back to eating nothing but rice cakes for days.

Of course, that's a generalization, but in general, it seems to hold true. It may come off as sexist, but when you see it so much it's hard to dismiss it as just a tiny fad among a small percentage of women.

 

[Nighthawk]

You are ending relationship after relationship around the two month mark because they might, one day, possibly get fat?

You're obsessing over what your date ate at a mexican restaurant?

You can never really tell until they start balloning, so dump them then. Sounds more like your using it as an excuse.

 

[Le Parisien]

Sorry I just browsed through the whole thread.

In case it hasn't been mentioned yet, there are actually TWO aspects to take into account.
1) Genetics
2) Eating habits

People with "good" ("skinny") genes will stay thin throughout their life even if they eat certain amount of junk food on a daily basis. They won't be "fit", but they won't grow "big" either.

I know this for a fact, because in my family, especially on my mother's side, we have these skinny genes so I can eat whatever I want as much as I want and anytime I want. I used to eat a big ice cream every night right before going to bed. Yes, you read me right, just before going to bed. I didn't really gain any weight doing that. Now I only do it from time to time because I know it's not healthy.

But given the same genetics, eating right or eating junk food will make a HUGE difference. I think I don't need to elaborate more on this, everybody knows it...

Now if her mom is huge, obviously, they don't have those "thin" genes in the family. But maybe they just have "average" genes and eat like pigs in the family. Or maybe they eat normally, you know, neither very healthy nor junkfood style, but have bad "fat" genes.

So check out other family members to find out if it's the bad genes or the bad eating habits in the family. The girl might have their genes, but she's not doomed to follow their unhealthy eating habits. But either way, you do need to be "careful". If you plan to marry her, you better investigate a little more to find out. If you just plan to date her for sometime, why would you care? As long as she IS fit right now, you are fine.

 

[CraigMack]

Surely, your not serious with this post are you? Nobody can be that cheap and superficial!









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[mrRuckus]

Nearly everyone has absolutely no reason to be fat outside of laziness or some other character defect.