What do you do when you can't find someone like you

[Nate235]

By this I mean what do you do, when you can't seem to find any women who are interested in the things you are? I am a huge nature lover, love nothing more then to get lost in some woods. I love the challenge of identifying the nature in the eco system. It seems no girls are interested in this sorta thing. I also love to paint and draw wildlife. I mean I have settled in the past for women who were totally against this, for instance I my last girlfriend I thought even though she was not a nature lover per say, she might appreciate something major like giant redwood trees. So I take her to muir woods in Marin, California, She gets a few feet into the woods and says yeah okay so can we go!!!??? I have tried joining organizations that do these activities and it seems all the members are seniors, and the ones who are not are not single!!!

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Date a squirrel, they like nature.

Take out a personal ad and list your requirements for companionship!

 

[Nate235]

I tried both, didn't work :/

 

[Ol'BlueEyes]

try a group

Where do you meet these chicks? Nightclubs?
Try joining a nature club, like Audoban (sp?) or the local chapter of the Sierra Club.

 

[Nate235]

Ol'BlueEyes,

I tried joining the local audubon, even not local audubon's and it seems that the women are either taken or senior's. Which you know at this point Im thinking of makin moves on some of them! lol!

 

[KiInCollege]

I guess you already realize by now that you're really limiting your pool of choices with this dating constraint of yours. Uh yeah, the joke about approaching old women clued me in...<shudder>.

There are other things you like to do. Other, more popular things...you just haven't mentioned them yet. Maybe I can give some insight...maybe not...here goes.

I like video games. Really, though, I love the competition. I don't play games for a story, I play so I can own someone, often with an automatic firearm.

Girls don't usually like games. To my surprise, I was able to get my girl into it, and she started small, playing against the computer, but now she's hooked on fighting other people.

I guess I'm shootin in the dark, but the point is don't make her hobbies a constraint that has to meet your guidelines. I didn't know she'd enjoy gaming like I do. But that was a bonus. If she didn't enjoy gaming and wanted to enjoy nature or some other abstract shyt, I'd still love her anyway.

 

[32swf]

don't give up

I agree, don't make this a "requirement" because you will end up alone. Make it a "want" and go places where you will meet these kinds of women. Sierra Club, Outdooe Adventure Clubs, college Outing clubs, hiking, biking, paddling clubs... the list is endless. If you want to meet and outdoorsy kind of woman, you have to go where they are. And if all you meet is guys, they might have a cool friend or sister, you never know.

 

[Nate235]

Well in the past I didnt limit myself, I went out with a girl that was completely opposite of me, and yes we did have common interest, but in the end she dumped my ass, because she felt we didnt have enough in common. :/

I do like video games lol! Only they are always the real nerdy ones like everquest or diablo 2 lol Sorry!

Well thanks for the suggestions!

 

[Dirtheart]

I too love nature and it's a dream of mine to settle down in a remote area in the countryside with the woman of my dreams, to go for quiet walks, camp out in the moonlight etc. But try to meet someone you like first of all. If you want to be with each other, you'll find you adapt your interest to her's and vice versa.

Even if you don't, there's nothing to say you have to sacrifice your interests. Reserve some time to do your thing and encourage her hobbies.

 

[ScrewIt]

dont give up dude!!

have you ever heard that opposites attract?
it's quite true, it attracts as much as similarities of 2 ppl.

someone may have an interest in sports but knows nothing about it. well..u do, and cause of that she'll want to learn more and be attracted to u cause u know so much stuff you can teach her.

 

[Yotsuya-san]

I used to worry about this too. But now, I'm resigned to the fact that some things weren't meant to be. A guy who has interests like comic books, science fiction, and anime is gonna be hard pressed. Best thing to do is put those things on the back shelf in the interest of pursuing chicks. Since those are guy interests anyway, what's to lose?

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by Yotsuya-san
I used to worry about this too. But now, I'm resigned to the fact that some things weren't meant to be. A guy who has interests like comic books, science fiction, and anime is gonna be hard pressed. Best thing to do is put those things on the back shelf in the interest of pursuing chicks. Since those are guy interests anyway, what's to lose?

Girls like guys who can have adventures in the REAL world, too.

Ask yourself what you would do if you WERE in one of those fantasy worlds with dragons and warriors and wizards...would you pick up a sword and go fight evil, or would you just be doing what you're doing now?

 

[JohnnyLegard]

Sometimes the person most like you is the person who seems to be your complete opposite. The girl I'm with first seemed to be someone I would never be compatible with EVER. I'm generally come off as a little quiet and contemplative, she's someone who comes off as loud and spontaneous. But the more I got to know her, I realized that we have similar family lives, the same tastes in art and that we we're both almost the same person in the ways we think. We just have different facades for ourselves.

Just something for you to keep in mind. Just because someone doesn't immediately come off as a nature lover, it doesn't mean that they aren't. Try meeting people in classes or libraries or make friends with people in the nature community and meet their friends. Trust me, I know a ton of women who are obsessed with plant biology and painting.

 

[Austin Allegro]

I've come to the conclusion that wanting women who have lots in common with you is classic AFC behaviour.

It's a way of playing safe so that there's no chance a woman can turn you down, because you have so much in common that she must like you, right?

Wrong. This is a variant of oneitis. In my experience girls you have lots in common with tend to LJBF you pretty quickly, and I've even heard the classic line 'we're too similar' from girls.

There HAS to be that magic 'attraction' or nothing happens, and that 'attraction' can and often does happen with seemingly total opposites. For short term flings this doesn't matter, and even for long term relationships what is more important is mutual willingness to explore new experiences, so don't worry too much about limiting yourself to women you have lots in common with, you're just putting obstacles in your way.

 

[iqqi]

Originally posted by Nate235
I am a huge nature lover, love nothing more then to get lost in some woods.

me too, me too!!! my goal this spring/summer is to build a treehouse out in the woods where i can take men and do them by moonlight!

sike. but i am dead serious about the treehouse. anyone know how to make one? do i have to be strong? i am tiny. i plan on making a fresh ass treehouse, that i will pretty much live in! a secret, remote location, high in the air, like the batcave!

 

[DJ_Dork]

This is like a discussion on if your girl date brings you to the opera or to a backstreet boy concert. You sound like an AFC.

 

[diplomatic_lies]

Gee if I dated a woman like me I'd be dead.


By the way Nate, it looks like Iqqi shares your interest. Why don't you give the "other side" a try? haha

 

[Nate235]

Well I was reading the DJ bible and it says that you should look for someone that has similar interest.

Diplomatic_lies,

Huk-yuk, Huk-yuk You from the Ozarks dude?

 

[Abbott]

I've read through the whole thread. If you really think it's impossible, then give up and don't worry about it. No sense in worrying about something you can't do anything about.

About such dating constraints, I'd recommend being more flexible about it unless it's about values that are of extreme importance to you.

For example, I'll never, ever have anything to do with Jesus freaks or strongly devout religious types (Christian or otherwise) because I'm an Atheist. I realize that such a constraint does limit my choices somewhat, but these values are more important to me that whether or not certain women are off limits. However if it's something like hair color, I'll admit that I do tend to like blondes, but if a woman has brown hair yet we "click," then I can overlook hair color.

Ben

 

[Trickster_guy_2001]

I love art. I LOVE film... period. I love acting, and psychology and mentalism. It's who I am... who I've always been. If a woman isn't going to like the fact that I have to go edit for 16 hours one day to meet a deadline once in a while, well... tough. I still do it. I enjoy it. And it's one of my purposes in life. Some woman doesn't dig video and isn't supportive? Big whoop. I'm not going to stop doing video for some woman, just because it isn't popular.

It doesn't matter to me. I do what I want because I enjoy it. I do it simply because I have a passion for it. Women aren't interested in the least in me or anything I do. Big whoop. I'm not going to hide who I am for a woman.

So you like nature. Good for you. Get some of your buddies to go camping with you and spend a weekend with them. You get your male bonding time, and she gets her... shopping time (or whatever she does). It's ok if a woman isn't fascinated with every little thing you do. Though I would say it's nice if a woman TRIES it at least once... it may be even something to LOOK for in a lady.

I do video... there are not a lot of female special effects people out there... it's a predominantly all males. I don't give a crap. They don't like it, they don't have to go to these things. I like being able to hang out with my male buddies and belch. I like playing Halo for 3 hours after watching a Hockey game. And I don't care what a chick thinks so far as all that stuff is concerned, though... (now this sounds like a contridiction), they DO have to do more than just tolerate my hobbies.... I suppose they have to "love" it in these sense that its a part of the person they love. They have to be supportive. Other than that, I don't need some woman to define what I am interested in.

Now, that being said, you SHOULD find a woman with similar interests. Or at the very least, she has to be supportive of who you are, so long as it's not hurtful.

I have a buddy who's retired, has several grandkids... loves golfing, loves magic, sports and woodcrafting... his wife retypes instructions for everyone and will cook meals once in a while for us or occasionally help out with certain projects. Her husband gets to hang out with us guys once a week, AND go to several clubs during the week. She has no interest in magic or golf or sports, but she's very supportive. She comes to the magic parties and golfing parties... Now THAT'S a great woman. They are very supportive of each other's quirks. And they are both very well rounded. THAT'S a great relationship.