What do you do when someone gets beligerant with you?

[ketostix]

So I was out at a College bar last night. My buddy shows up and we are just standing there talking. So this tall skinny I'm thinking Somali (you know how they look) guy who always goes to this bar and that I see out all the time stops and starts talking to us. And he's giving me unsolicited advice about meeting girls. You know, like he's the big player (he's not) and I'm needing his advice. I've seen him around for a couple years or so and he's always been polite. I say something like to the effect that, "If there weren't so many Cap'n save a ho's at this bar, I'd say xyz to the girls". The bar is notorious for fights.

So he's about to walk off then out of nowhere gives me a hostile look and say "Don't you ever call me a capn save ho.." and gets in my face. My buddy starts talking to him trying to disarm him and I can't really hear what he's saying to the guy. So the guy is standing in my personal space and being beligerant for some time. I'm not the kind of person that will negotiate with someone who is starting sh1t especially if I feel I can defeat them and I'm really close to slugging the guy.

Later just before closing time my buddy walks off to use the rest room and past this guy who is with another guy, and he starts in on my buddy. I thought the other guy was starting sh1t with my buddy too. I see beligerant guy shove my buddy. I don't go over there because I know what will end up happening. My buddy comes back and tells me that he also put is hand on his neck, asked him if he was my puppet, but the other guy wasn't really threating him just slightly encouraging the beligerant guy.

Anyway a short while later the place clears out and the beligerant guy walks by and starts pointing at me and saying some sh1t and walks up to. I get up and push him back several feet and tell him to step back. I walk out and he's there with a gang of other college dudes. It sound like one of them said to him, "You don't want to mess with that dude (me), and it sounded like the belligerant guy said to me, "We're cool now..". I'm not sure about that, but there was now a police cruiser parked watching the bar since the bar has a problem with drunk college dudes getting into fights. And I did hear one of the guys he was hanging with say to me, "you don't want to mess with this guy", and something to the effect, "you're just tough now because the police are here".

I just walk on to my car. Being ganged up on was the only thing I was worrying about. I had to walk a few blocks down a dark residential street.

Anyway when someone gets in my face and acts aggressive for no reason my tendency is to slug them and not negotiate or try to disarm them. I was wondering how others here react to that situation.

 

[NewMan]

I used to get punchy when I was out at bars. I'm generally good natured, but if someone was getting agressive or pushy, it would not take much to push me over the edge and get into it.

Now I'm getting older, I generally just ignore it and walk away. Of course there is a limit - and if someone is invading my space then I'm going to protect it.

I currently hold a couple of black belts and have trained martial arts for over 10 years - whilst that means sh1t by itself, I have been lucky enough to test my skills as well. I have found, that I have much less desire to get into it with people now - i'm not prepared to hurt someone who had a drink or two too many, or that said something stupid/done something stupid. However, should they get punchy with me or a friend I am with - thats another story.


I always try and take the higher road.

 

[iqqi]

Well, there is always something to learn from a situation.

Why did this guy feel the need to give you dating advice? What did you do to ask for it?

Also, why do you feel the need to say xyz to girls?

Also, fighting is for kids, but every now and then you might have to knock a guy out. Mama said knock you out!

 

[ketostix]

I'm generally good natured, but if someone was getting agressive or pushy, it would not take much to push me over the edge and get into it.

Yes I'm the same way when someone does this I quickly get very irrate and I'm of the postion either get out of my face or I'm going to resort to throwing blows. It really pisses me off and ruins my whole night.

Now I'm getting older, I generally just ignore it and walk away. Of course there is a limit - and if someone is invading my space then I'm going to protect it.

I currently hold a couple of black belts and have trained martial arts for over 10 years - whilst that means sh1t by itself, I have been lucky enough to test my skills as well. I have found, that I have much less desire to get into it with people now - i'm not prepared to hurt someone who had a drink or two too many, or that said something stupid/done something stupid. However, should they get punchy with me or a friend I am with - thats another story.


I always try and take the higher road.

I'm the same way. If some random drunk dude makes a comment or someone get pissed at me over a misunderstanding I just generally just walk away and that's the end of it . But this was a little different. This guy is someone I know somewhat and was acting all friendly and then out of nowhere started getting threatening and sh1t talking. He was clearly trying to psychologically bully me. The fact that he later got hostile with my buddy and came over at the end of the night to start sh1t again makes it different. The fact that I shopved him back several feet and he turned and exited the bar is evidence that he really did not want to fight me.

The real problem here is that he kept the stuff going on and he was talking to all these other guys like he always does and I was worried about being attacked by a whole gang of dudes like I'm back in middle school.

 

[Tazman]

I don't go to bars really, but I have a friend who frequents them and all he's ever done when guys try to bait him into a fight is laugh at them, pretty much saying "come on man, lol, you don't want to fight me do you?"

He is a tall guy, but has boyish looks (pretty boy) which is probably one of the reasons it happens, but so far it's worked for him, he avoids the fights and saves face by not acting scared.

On the other hand, if a guy gets in my face I'll tell him to move and/or push him back. If he touches me we'll be fighting no matter what. I'd still try to be smart about it though, if it's a gang of guys I'll fight if I'm forced too only to save my damn life, lol.

As a kid I've been jumped before and while I made it out swinging, they got the best of me, but respected my will to fight them given the odds.

It also depends on the environment, there are places I've been where I wouldn't dare even look at a guy the wrong way, I'm saying "murder" isn't out of the question.

 

[ketostix]

Well, there is always something to learn from a situation.

Like what, that sometimes some people will try to start sh!t and try to bully you for no good reason? I learned that lesson oh 20+ years ago in public school.

Why did this guy feel the need to give you dating advice? What did you do to ask for it?

If you read my post I said he was giving unsolicited advice. you do not understand male mentality. He was trying to assert himself as a ladies man and that I'm not. It's a milder thinly-veiled form of being beligerant.

Also, why do you feel the need to say xyz to girls?

Also, fighting is for kids, but every now and then you might have to knock a guy out. Mama said knock you out!

WTH are you talking about? I don't feel a need to say xyz to girls, I said I might want to say xyz but the sandy vagina college girls and cap'n save a hos at this bar would take it the wrong way. Why do you feel the need to say the stuff you do to guys on here is a better question.

 

[decades]

I would upgrade your neighborhood dude. frequent establishments where people are civil.

 

[Robert28]

there's an old rule i've always heard about fighting. those that start it can't finish it 99% of the time. and NEVER mess with the quiet guy. i love the guys who want to fight you but they spend their time talking without giving you a chance to say anything. their blah blah blah blah blah blah.haha the guys that are quick to start trouble think they have something to prove, or they want to impress some girl and even if they win the fight they STILL wont get laid by said girl.

 

[penkitten]

i'm a chick so forgive me for not being all manly about it ... but... i hate confrontations with people like that. stupid people are the worst to deal with especially when they are strangers in public.
i would have walked off too because i wouldn't have known if all his friends would try to gang up on me or not. and that happens all the time. 2 on 1 is never fair!
who knows if strangers have weapons? they might. it's 2009 , most do.

glad you walked off and kept your pretty face.

 

[ketostix]

I would upgrade your neighborhood dude. frequent establishments where people are civil.

I don't live in that neighborhood and it's not a bad area per se. It's right next to the State university. The bar itself is sort of a whole in the wall for local college students. I don't go to this bar much except sometimes on a sunday or Monday night since it's one of the few places with a good size crowd of good looking college girls plus drink specials on those nights.

there's an old rule i've always heard about fighting. those that start it can't finish it 99% of the time. and NEVER mess with the quiet guy. i love the guys who want to fight you but they spend their time talking without giving you a chance to say anything. their blah blah blah blah blah blah.haha the guys that are quick to start trouble think they have something to prove, or they want to impress some girl and even if they win the fight they STILL wont get laid by said girl.

You couldn't be more right in this case. The guy talked a lot of big stuff but I don't think he could've backed it up being 6'2 lanky Somalian and probably less than 160lbs. I'm 6'1 and 210 but my good nature and not being a big bluffing sh!t talker probably made him thinking he could safely bluff me around and i would kowtow. He's picking the wrong person for that because that's not something I do. The fact that I shoved him back several feet and he went out the door is evidence that he did not want to back it up. I was hesitant to slug him because I wasn't sure what might have happened with him being a regular there. They probably would've just made me leave the bar.

glad you walked off and kept your pretty face.

Yeah but how'd you know I had a pretty face .

 

[Nutz]

I was wondering how others here react to that situation.

I'm of the Paul Vunak school of thought. When I sense a fight is inevitable or even likely I hit first and keep on hitting. This will win you 99% of the fights you'll ever get it barring any unseen assailants. I don't mince words, I don't shout, and I don't try to tapdance. I do the disarming bit, but if that doesn't work or they touch me or put a finger in my face, that's my cue for "go time". Fortunately I usually don't have to punch anymore due to my build and strength. I've found one good shove takes them off their feet and lands them on their ass regardless of height/weight (unless they've up around 300lbs). At that point their friends are holding the drunk idiot back when they get up.

 

[ElChoclo]

Trouble like this is always caused by the demon rum. You can't reason with the demon rum. Do not drink in such establishments, girls tend to avoid them but idiots tend to be attracted to them.

 

[RedPill]

The differences between rational sane people and crazy belligerent looking for an excuse to fight people are:

a) the belligerent person has zero fear or foresight of the consequences - assault charges, serious injury, looking beat up for the next couple weeks, and the resulting fallout such as possible threats to career, permanent banning from the bar, fines, probation, etc.

b) The belligerent person is totally unstable and will do what they can to pick the fight. They can't be talked to or reasoned with. They'll often fight dirty too.

The best course of action is to duck out of these scenarios the moment they flare up because there is no way to "win" when the other party is hellbent on fighting. Getting in a battle to AMOG each other will end badly - not worth it.

 

[Nutz]

The following text was posted by GUNWITCH...you can read the entire post here:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=67183

***LEFT RIGHT LEFT until he drops or you do is also a must. You cannot hit the man and then stop, see if he is ok, or if it’s over, block incoming punches and resume. Anyone who tells you different has a stupid sense or self-defense instructor or has been watching too much TV.

Just as I said, hit first and keep on hitting. That's the only way IMO. I love JKD's straight blast for exactly this. SB the badguy until he falls down and then haul ass out of there.

 

[Bible_Belt]

What do you do when someone gets belligerent with you?


I tell them no gets to see me fight for free. It costs $40 per ticket.

Then I would try to sell them on the idea of being an mma fighter. I'd give them my card, tell them who to call and what to do, and encourage them to get in there and fight. This is one giant AMOG, but it works. Guys are happy to avoid fighting with the mma fighter, yet at the same time save face by seeming to get respect. Drunks are easily patronized. And no one I have met at a bar has ever shown up at the dojo to train and fight - after the beer wears off, it does not seem like such a bright idea.

 

[Son of anarchy]

If somebody threats on you and he tell you what and why dont pay attention to them,they are just dogs making noise.
He who wants to hurt you,just do.
Btw about the "gangs" outside just get used to it,it wont stop instead it will increase so behave conseguently.

 

[Rookie_son]

What does the person being Somali have to with it? If someone is a d*ckhead their a d*ckhead, ive met met such people from many countries including my own (Somalia) and where i grew up (Australia) but also met plenty of awesome people from many different countries.

Most Somali's i know back in the old country and here including myself aren't "skinny lanky" either.

I think I know what it feels like for the Lebanese community in Sydney now, im assuming that its a similar problem where it is you may be, except with somali, or was this a one of case?

 

[KontrollerX]

"I was wondering how others here react to that situation."

If you judge that the guy isn't just joking with you then you first shove him.

If he gets right back in your face go ahead and slug him.

Though if you are worried about his buddies attacking you just do your best to back off and walk away.

Wait for an opportunity sometime later could be days, could be weeks, could be mere minutes or hours but make sure at some point you teach that son of a b!tch a physical lesson he won't forget when you spot him when he is alone and deem there are no witnesses or buddies of his lurking somewhere to prevent justice from being meted out.

 

[Hullothere]

I can fight and I think you should avoid fights at all costs. Bar fights aren't the ufc, there are no rules. You will get guys that gouge your eyes, fishhook your ribs, and use weapons. I actually had a good friend that died recently because some guy was talking **** to him and my friend talked back. Later that night, the other guy snuck up on my friend in the middle of the bar and shanked him about 5 times. My friend ended up dying on the way to the hospital. Avoid fights if you can at all costs just too many bad things come out of it. Death, jail, disfigurement, getting ganged on, etc

 

[Warrior74]

Where I'm from, fighting the wrong dude can get you shot. People say I look like a cop, the last time a guy got in my face, I asked him if he had any priors. That pulled him up short...he said, are you a cop? I asked him, do you really want to find out son? He walked off mumbling about bytch ass cops. LOL.

I really don't get into confrontations much. I'm a laid back guy and I tend to make friends easily. If I'm talking to some guys girl and he comes up in my face I usually will offer him my hand and say sorry man, I didn't know she was with you. That usually does it. If not and he still gets in my face, I say, look I'm just here to have fun, I got no beef with you and will back off. If he won't let me back off, I look for something to beat him over the head with, it's usually squashed by that point. I've only had to smash a pitcher over one guys head in my life.