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What do you do about a girl you've nexted who doesn't seem to get it?

S1NN3R

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Usually, I've got my business together and don't need much advice, but this is baffling me.

One of the girls I was working on picking up blew me off a time or two for dates. No big deal, I "nexted" and moved on. But she doesn't seem to get it, she keeps calling and acting as though we're still going to go out sometime. For example, she called me tonight and asked what I was doing. I have no real interest in doing anything with her, so I told her I was heading out with a friend I hadn't seen in a while. Random banalities ensue, and in closing she tells me not to have too much fun. I asked why not, and she said because then I'd be too tired to have fun when we go out. I basically said, "oh, all right, I'll talk to you later."

So then, my question is (oddly enough, for this forum), how do you guys turn her off without being excessively offensive? She is part of my social circle, so I'd rather not just be ******dly rude. And I can't just ignore her calls because her number shows up as "unknown" on my phone, as do two other friend's numbers whom I speak to on a regular basis, and the owner of the company I work for. And I don't really want to try to be the nice, supplicating AFC type in hopes that she'll be turned off for two reasons; first, she might actually like it, and second, she is friends with many girls that I do want to play with and I wouldn't want to lower my chances with them by her telling stories.

I never call her, I never suggest that we do anything together, and I try to sound way too busy to even talk to her, but she keeps calling back and won't leave me alone. While this is wonderful evidence for the proponents of the "stand-offish" approach, I still want to know how to lose her.

Any ideas?


(ps. this board's censors are just ridiculous, the starred word up there is supposed to be "0UTWARDLY", why the hell is that censored, can anyone tell me?)
 

GloriouslyInsane

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well you could use "********" "im not looking for a relationship right now,i see you as my little sister,you're a great friend".
 

blinkwatt

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Meh,just let her "dome" you and get it over with... or you could just give her b.s. excusses a couple of more times to see if she finally gets a hint.
 

Amigu

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Befriend her?
 

RedPill

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S1NN3R said:
I never call her, I never suggest that we do anything together, and I try to sound way too busy to even talk to her, but she keeps calling back and won't leave me alone. While this is wonderful evidence for the proponents of the "stand-offish" approach, I still want to know how to lose her.

Any ideas?

This paragraph explains your problem. You're only building her interest by ignoring her. She's an immature woman who plays games and thinks you're playing games with her. I assume this is why you nexted her. If you don't want to go AFC on her then you need to explicitly reject her, otherwise she'll never get it. It doesn't have to be rude, just a simple line: "Listen [name], I'm not interested in you sexually. I don't blame you for trying, and I think you're a nice person, but you just aren't my type. No hard feelings, and I hope this won't affect our friendship any."

If that doesn't get the message across, then you'll have to get her friends involved. Hopefully one of them is hot!
 

S1NN3R

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RedPill said:
"Listen [name], I'm not interested in you sexually. I don't blame you for trying, and I think you're a nice person, but you just aren't my type. No hard feelings, and I hope this won't affect our friendship any."
Unfortunately, she is very aware that I was interested in her sexually and that she is my type because our initial get-to-know-you banter was very sexually charged, from both parties involved. And that is why while saying something like what you said is the easiest way to get her to move on, it will likely be quite transparent to her, and a blatant lie on my part would get back to her/our friends, which is why I'm hoping for an alternative way to lose her.

RedPill said:
If that doesn't get the message across, then you'll have to get her friends involved. Hopefully one of them is hot!
Most of them are. :D And that is part of the problem. With them and her being in my circle, I need to handle her delicately to not make it more difficult when I decide to go after one or more of the others in the group.
 
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Taker

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Tell her youre gay
 

S1NN3R

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jigga23

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dude quit lookin for excuses to justify you answering her phone calls. seems like you like the attention from her. can almost gurantee if she stopped calling you and saw her fvcking another dude you would get jealous immediatley and want her right then. All that bs about saying lets just be friends and im too busy etc. is sh!t you use to get a girl to want you. its human nature and you cant do anything about it. if you honestly want this girl to leave you alone do 1 of 2 things or both. 1. stop answering her calls period let the other people leave you a message for a little bit when you dont answer do it like 2 times thats it. 2. act like an AFC confess your love for her throw yourself on her, be really needy,dont be a challenge it should turn her off. But i can see it right now shell do something to get your attention whether it be stop calling you all the sudden or making out with someone in front of you or fvcking some other dude.

ive been there and done that ive been in the same situation. i was acting like you i honestly didnt give a sh!t about her but i still answered her phone calls to see what she wanted. i would still at some points say stop calling me i dont want a relationship with you etc. then she chilled out we hung out and found out she fvcked some dude i knew. my interest for her shot through the roof for her after this. call me an afc for that all you want but anyone who says they wouldve acted differently after that is full of sh!t. looks like your on the same path as i was.
 

mmx

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I have a similar situation with one particular girl. She broke down crying in my car and hasn't stopped calling or messaging me since (yes, my fault, I brought this dilemma upon myself). I took a week off from work and headed to Cuba... it was the only time I got to get away from her!

I still answer her calls though, but I don't invite her anywhere when I go out anymore. I do this for the simple fact that I respect people. Just treat her as a friend, nothing more. Eventually, you'll find someone else and so will she.
 

S1NN3R

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jigga23 said:
seems like you like the attention from her.
No, I honestly don't. I have no interest at all in someone who stands me up two or more consecutive times. Once, i'll give them a second chance, but twice or more and it's obvious it's going to continue, and I loose all interest.

can almost gurantee if she stopped calling you and saw her fvcking another dude you would get jealous immediatley and want her right then.
No, let the other guy deal with her sh!t.

All that bs about saying lets just be friends and im too busy etc. is sh!t you use to get a girl to want you.
I don't say let's be friends. I don't say much at all. Mosy of what comes from me is "oh", "really?", "un-huh", "ok". The only time I say anything else is when she asks me a direct question and I can't dodge it.

1. stop answering her calls period let the other people leave you a message
There are occasionally weeks between times that she calls me. I'm not going to ignore my bosses calls for weeks at a time. I like being employed. That is why I am asking for alternatives. If you don't have alternatives and would just like to tell me to do what I already very clearly stated is not an option, there is really no need for you to post in this thread.
 

RedPill

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S1NN3R said:
Unfortunately, she is very aware that I was interested in her sexually and that she is my type because our initial get-to-know-you banter was very sexually charged, from both parties involved. And that is why while saying something like what you said is the easiest way to get her to move on, it will likely be quite transparent to her, and a blatant lie on my part would get back to her/our friends, which is why I'm hoping for an alternative way to lose her.
OK, that makes sense. Just be straight-up honest with her. "I'm not going out with you because you flaked on me. My time is valuable and I have zero tolerance for that. You did it not once, but twice. You're lucky, I liked you enough to give you a second chance. I don't do that with most women. Sorry, but you're out." I don't think that's rude, it's just honest. She may or may not leave you alone after that, but either way you win becuase you've established a dominant frame with her. One of two scenarios will likely result:

1) If she's mad at you and takes it to her friends, the chain of events doesn't make you look like a jerk, but rather a man who doesn't tolerate women's sh!t. Your value just increased in the eyes of the friends, not to mention they know the no-games, no-BS terms of dating you.

2) She'll apologize profusely, beg for another chance, and now she will bend over backwards for you.
 
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