What do I do here?

[TheStig]

I just made this account to ask this question. I need some help here;I'm pretty confused.

Some background:
I'm in college and I work at a pizza shop. There's this girl that I really like that worked there too (she just got a new job). She's super hot. She's given me some IOIs before so I think at least at some point she used to be interested in me on some level.

Now the problem in question. I started messaging her on facebook (don't have her number) about her new job, kept it fun and playful, and it went pretty well. All of a sudden though she just stopped messaging me a few days ago, and we had been talking for a few days. Now I know that means she lost interest, got bored, whatever, but something she said in on of her messages is kind of confusing me.

I made a funny sarcastic kind of joke about where she works now, and her reply gave me the impression she was trying to hint at me to come in and see her sometime. "Yeah the guys back at (name of pizza shop) said they were gonna have to stop in sometime..." The reason I think that is because it didn't really have too much with anything I said before. The only reason I can see her saying that is because she wants me to come in sometime.

So right now I'm thinking I have two options.

1) Since she stopped replying just forget about it and move on. I would do that normally, but it's really hard because I really, really like her.

2) Don't make a big deal about her stopping messaging me outta the blue. Of course I'm not gonna talk to her over FB anymore because that died out. But I'm thinking I'll wait a couple weeks, and then stop in at her new job when I'm in the area (it's in another city), and try to get her number and make a move.

I'm definitely gonna make a move and not f**k around now because I think that's what has killed it for me in the past.

What do you guys think? What would you do if you were me?

 

[Purefilth]

move on. you had a chance before, she's off gobbling another c0ck now

 

[TheStig]

Is there even any kind of chance now though?

 

[Renegade357]

Chance of what? Facebook messaging her back and forth until she asks you out? You want to friendship your way into her heart?

You should have asked for her number immediately. You should have called her and asked her out on a date. You blew it by not manning up and striking early.

You might as well just try to do it right this time. She'll probably not go out with you but it's worth a shot. At least if you ask her and she says no or ignores you you'll have your answer.

Live and learn.

 

[TheWolfMan]

Agree with Renegade, why the hell didn't you ask for her number? Dude you fell asleep on the job, strike while the iron his hot. Unfortunately for you, you let that iron cool down too long and now it's cold. Anyway all you had to do was when she said "Yeah the guys back at...said they were gonna have to stop in some time..." You: "Oh yeah? Well maybe I'll have to too. What's your phone number so I can stop in when you're there?" Or something along those lines. I highly doubt waiting a couple of weeks and then going to her job to ask for her number is going to help your cause or better your chances. Not trying to rain on your parade but that's the fact of the matter

 

[TheWolfMan]

Depending on how much you wanna try for it, might even be worth it to send her a message like "Hey facebook is cool and everything, but you got a phone number? Just trying to see if you wanna go out and grab a couple drinks one of these days". Just another suggestion

 

[VladPatton]

Yeah, man these guys are right. You can't wait too long, girls Next you for that. Even if they say no, you gotta do it if you have interest in them. Your moment was when she said she was leaving. You could of asked her for her number right then and there, since she's leaving now and you don't even have to worry about phucking someone at work.

It may be too late now, plus, she's far from you, it would be hard and you would be worrying what she's doing 24/7. You just may need to let this one go.

 

[TheStig]

You guys are all right and I feel so stupid for not striking while the iron was hot, I totally realize what I did.

However, I did see her today, at work for like 5 min. I guess one of the other girls couldn't work today or tomorrow, so she's filling in for her, but then that's it. I talked to her a min before I left and nothing was awkward at all, everything was the same as all the other interactions we've had. So tomorrow I'm getting her number. The reason I didn't today is cuz I didn't even know she was gonna be there at all and it kinda threw me offguard, and just didn't occur to me cuz I was leaving.

The plan is to make up something about how I'll need it so I can see when she's working in the near future, so I can come in and she can help me out with what to get my mom and sister when I start my Christmas shopping (probably be in about a week). I feel like that'd give me a better chance of getting it rather than just asking flat out what her # is. She works at Bath & Body Works by the way, I wouldn't have a clue what to get from there anyway, so I guess I'm not really making it up. Then when I'm there I'll make my move.

I've been so stuck on her I'm not giving up until I get a good hard rejection so I can quit thinking about her and move on.

She only lives 10 min away btw so it's not far, that isn't a problem.

 

[omega05]

You guys are all right and I feel so stupid for not striking while the iron was hot, I totally realize what I did.

However, I did see her today, at work for like 5 min. I guess one of the other girls couldn't work today or tomorrow, so she's filling in for her, but then that's it. I talked to her a min before I left and nothing was awkward at all, everything was the same as all the other interactions we've had. So tomorrow I'm getting her number. The reason I didn't today is cuz I didn't even know she was gonna be there at all and it kinda threw me offguard, and just didn't occur to me cuz I was leaving.

The plan is to make up something about how I'll need it so I can see when she's working in the near future, so I can come in and she can help me out with what to get my mom and sister when I start my Christmas shopping (probably be in about a week). I feel like that'd give me a better chance of getting it rather than just asking flat out what her # is. She works at Bath & Body Works by the way, I wouldn't have a clue what to get from there anyway, so I guess I'm not really making it up. Then when I'm there I'll make my move.

I've been so stuck on her I'm not giving up until I get a good hard rejection so I can quit thinking about her and move on.

She only lives 10 min away btw so it's not far, that isn't a problem.

the old "I'm gonna ask her for her number for some business type deal" as opposed to telling her to put her number in your phone because you're a man and getting phone numbers from females is nothing new to you....

 

[Plutoman]

the old "I'm gonna ask her for her number for some business type deal" as opposed to telling her to put her number in your phone because you're a man and getting phone numbers from females is nothing new to you....

+1 to that. Don't beat around the bush. Just shows a lack of confidence.

Just be like, hey, let's grab a drink sometime, name two options for evenings (preferably not friday/saturday options.. make yourself at least 'seem' busy). Or some other decent activity. You want a way to interact, as I see it - a coffee thing's not gonna cut it when you've already spoken and lost the initial attraction.

If she says yes, ask her for her number straight up. If she declines, or offers an excuse, say no worries, smile, and move on - her interest is gone at this point.

Don't count on anything happening, even if she DOES say yes. And don't keep contacting her on facebook..

Gotta ask this, too - why do you 'really really like her' so much when you've spoken just a bit on facebook, seen her a couple times in person? Actually, I want you to ask yourself this. What do you genuinely know about her? Why do you like her? Skip past all the word play on facebook. That means nothing in my experience (most especially if it's caused her to lose interest..).

All the story I've seen so far is that she's hot, gave you the slightest bit of attention, and you are now jumping at every chance you can to speak to her, try to find excuses to talk to her, excuses to get her phone number, etc etc.

I'm honestly not the most experienced guy here, so anyone can feel free to correct my impressions. But, I'll offer it as I see it.

 

[TheStig]

And don't keep contacting her on facebook..

Gotta ask this, too - why do you 'really really like her' so much when you've spoken just a bit on facebook, seen her a couple times in person? Actually, I want you to ask yourself this. What do you genuinely know about her? Why do you like her? Skip past all the word play on facebook. That means nothing in my experience (most especially if it's caused her to lose interest..).

1) Not gonna

2) I've seen her way more than a couple times, we've worked at the same place for over a year. I like her because 1. She's super hot and 2. Because she has a great personality and there are a lot of similarities between us.

It's not like I was talking to her a lot on facebook, it was like 6 replies in total, and this was the first time I've ever contacted her outside of work. It sounds a lot more pathetic than it is lol it's not like I was constantly hitting her up on FB all day everyday. Those 6 messages were over a span of 3 days.

I guess I just never did anything about it because I thought it'd be weird since we worked together, we used to a lot more but not recently. And I'm terrible with girls unless I know for sure they're into me. This girl is way more subtle about everything than the average girl; she's hard to read. I was never one to be always trying to pick up random girls.

Anyway though yeah I really do appreciate all the responses, it was pretty much exactly what I was looking for. Gotta grow some ballz.

 

[Purefilth]

You won't know if she is interested without
1)taking her number
2)offering a date (that she goes on)
3)making a move

Positive result from all 3 points = interested

A year of not asking her out? Friendzone, NEXT!!!!

 

[Plutoman]

This girl is way more subtle about everything than the average girl; she's hard to read. I was never one to be always trying to pick up random girls.

Have to point out that girls are rarely subtle about when they like a guy.

However, she may not know you well enough to know if she'd like you, and interest != like, so in other words.. do what Purefilth said.

Fair if it's as you say, but don't count on anything as is. Get out, meet other women, even if you do get her on a night out.

 

[thevilittletroll]

i think its too little too late. you have dragged you feet so bad on this one. my guess is that you will eventually come up with some excuse to ask for her phone number and she will have no problem giving it to you. she's comfortable enough around you. she knows you are a harmless nice guy. but dont expect anything else to come out of it. she will do nothing but flake on you. she will be nice and polite and respond to your lame text messages. but she will never go out with you. you showed afc and beta behavior. you show no confidence or experience with other hot women whatsoever.

your goal should not be to get the phone number. your goal should be to have sex with her. getting the phone number means nothing. its just the first step in the process. second step is get the date, third step is to seduce.

 

[muscleman]

OP - you're getting too worked up over this. If you're going to be in the neighborhood and you since you know each other, just stop in like you said, chat with her for a few minutes and ask her out. Yes, great. No, not so great but no biggie. Whether or not it's too late is hard to say and really doesn't matter because the 'what if' is still bugging you - so go for it. At least you'll have your answer and can move on either way. I hope you're talking to (or at least attempting to network with) other girls during all this. You need to give yourself some options.

 

[TheWolfMan]

Are you listening to anything we are saying?! It's a done deal dude, its not gonna happen. Move on. Like she came into work to cover for the other girl and you STILL DID NOT GET HER NUMBER. Women do not like men that beat around the bush, what's the worst thing that could happen if you asked for her number? Just flat out ask for it. Do not make up some lame ass excuse about you need it to help you christmas shop for your mom or sister, blah,blah,blah. Are you F-ing kidding me?! That's a one way ticket to friendzone. Next time you see this girl, march up to her and say "Hey I wanna take you out sometime" then you take out your phone and hand it to her, then say "Put your number in here before I don't want it anymore". I'm not trying to be an a$$hole man but im just tryin beat this mentality into your head. Sometimes you gotta nut up or shut up.

 

[TheStig]

Tonight I chatted her up at work and ended up getting her number. The more I thought about it the more I realized how utterly retarded that Christmas shopping crap was so I ditched that sh1t. This happens a lot, I'll come up with an idea I think is good, then I'll think about it really hard and realize how stupid it is. Overall though it went pretty well. Not planning on sending any lame texts though thevilittletroll haha I've learned my lesson many times in that department, but you're right when it comes to super attractive women I have no idea what I'm doing.

Anyway just to clarify, I don't think I displayed too much afc behavior before, because I've never tried to hit on her at all, never shown any interest, and all our interactions were pretty much having to do with work. Completely neutral. I don't think I'm in the friendzone, who knows I could be horribly wrong but I have tried to make a conscious effort to stay out of it. I mean I don't think I am because I am friends with all the other girls at work, and there's just a totally different vibe whenever the girl in question and I are around each other as opposed to all the others.

I think I might have decent chances but honestly don't care either way anymore. I'm gonna go for it even if it is a lost cause just so I can move on and get her out of my head.

I know it may seem like I'm not listening to anything you guys are saying but I am. It's great stuff. Definitely gonna apply it to future situations.

Anyway the reason I made this thread is so I could just lay my thoughts out there instead of going insane in my own mind. I'm really analytical and overthink things all the time, I guess that's why I'm an engineering major lol. I never tell this sh1t to anyone cause nobody wants to hear it, at least I know I wouldn't so I figured I'd post online where nobody knows who I am and I figured this would be a good site to get advice and valid opinions because it's a pua forum.

This is my last post on this thread, I feel like I've gotten what I needed. Thanks for the help guys.