Back when I was growing up and in high school, my peers didn't really think much of me. Though I was accomplishing a lot that would go towards my career, my scrawny frame and my lack of assertiveness/awareness socially during that time kept me out of the loop of basically everything. While at college, I worked on my physique and picked up a lot of muscle, I became very socially assertive/aware and most importantly, I continued to work towards my career choice. A few months after graduating college, I was offered an entry-level position at a major company (the biggest in my desired field), took the job and moved away. Good story, right?
Well, it is. Unfortunately, it appears that some of my friends from back home have decided to talk to me as little as possible. While some of them are cool and act like the people I know, the friend I spoke to the most I barely hear from, one who was laid back is now confrontational, a couple of the others are trying to demonstrate that they can do well without me being in touch. Random acquaintances from high school who I run into seemingly keep tabs on my via Facebook and ask how many months until I am no longer there or presume I am a gopher of sorts - I know the latter because my younger sister is still in town and they ask her these things. People who would normally say hi now stare at me and then hide. To put it bluntly, there has been noticeable change.
I have to think there is some jealousy here. Now I don't really care about the acquaintances, but some of my friends acting differently really bothers me. To make things worse, the friends acting weird are my closest of the friends, the ones I have known the longest. When I was home last month, I only saw three friends out of about 8-9 in our group. The others were not reachable. I feel like everyone secretly hoped I'd lose, and when I won, it made them angry. It shouldn't be this way.
Ok, enough about me. My question is, what causes one person to be the cause of envy but not another? For example, Tom Brady is a superstar quarterback and has a model wife, most people embrace him. Other peers of mine going in their desired directions...adored.
So again, what do you think causes one person to be the cause of envy but not another? Is there some sort of expectation level involved, or how does it work?
Well, it is. Unfortunately, it appears that some of my friends from back home have decided to talk to me as little as possible. While some of them are cool and act like the people I know, the friend I spoke to the most I barely hear from, one who was laid back is now confrontational, a couple of the others are trying to demonstrate that they can do well without me being in touch. Random acquaintances from high school who I run into seemingly keep tabs on my via Facebook and ask how many months until I am no longer there or presume I am a gopher of sorts - I know the latter because my younger sister is still in town and they ask her these things. People who would normally say hi now stare at me and then hide. To put it bluntly, there has been noticeable change.
I have to think there is some jealousy here. Now I don't really care about the acquaintances, but some of my friends acting differently really bothers me. To make things worse, the friends acting weird are my closest of the friends, the ones I have known the longest. When I was home last month, I only saw three friends out of about 8-9 in our group. The others were not reachable. I feel like everyone secretly hoped I'd lose, and when I won, it made them angry. It shouldn't be this way.
Ok, enough about me. My question is, what causes one person to be the cause of envy but not another? For example, Tom Brady is a superstar quarterback and has a model wife, most people embrace him. Other peers of mine going in their desired directions...adored.
So again, what do you think causes one person to be the cause of envy but not another? Is there some sort of expectation level involved, or how does it work?
