What can I say to this girl to not seem like a stalker

[cannibustacap]

I saw this girl at a club meeting a couple months ago. She sort of caught me starring at her (yes starring, she has this natural blush face and I was drawn in) I was a bit more AFC back then.

She seemed... I don't know. Sorta weird? But she smiled and waved once. I don't know what it means.

I then added her on my facebook (College friend network thing) and "poked" her out of fun. We never said anything.

Anyway, I randomly saw her on a dating web site! Whoa, crazy stuff.

But... I don't want to seem like a stalker. And I don't want it to be weird around her in that club.

I only see her there every so often, I already asked out and got rejected by a girl in that club and it feels weird. I'd hate to be the guy who pursues every chick.

I could wait till the next club meeting, but it is sort of a Jewish sabbath dinner thing and its hard to get next to her. I usually go with this other female friend anyway that I am slowly trying to move in on.

Basically even though we are in this club, it isn't the easiest way for us to meet. I just end up starring at her like a moron if she is even there to begin with.

Damn I feel like a creep.


I was thinking of sending her something like this (on facebook where it is free )

Whoa this is crazy. I saw you on that online dating web site. Whats up?

I really have no clue what to say to not look like a creep.

Any advice?

 

[Grey Fox]

Oie Vey.

First we need to get your interest under control. Gawking at her will send her running. You find her attractive thats fine, but thats it...you shouldn't feel like you are in love, you don't even know here yet. Just go over and talk to her, its a dinner after all nothing adds better to a meal than good company. I wouldn't worry about rejection its something everyone needs to go through and its a great learning experience.

-Grey Fox

 

[cannibustacap]

Originally posted by Grey Fox
Oie Vey.

First we need to get your interest under control. Gawking at her will send her running. You find her attractive thats fine, but thats it...you shouldn't feel like you are in love, you don't even know here yet. Just go over and talk to her, its a dinner after all nothing adds better to a meal than good company. I wouldn't worry about rejection its something everyone needs to go through and its a great learning experience.

-Grey Fox

Well i'm def not in love with her. I just want to know how to go about responding to her online ad and not seem like a stalker.

But yea I'll just wait till I see her again randomly, even though that may be awhile after winter break.

She'll probably find someone else before then... think about it. She probably gets 9000 replys a day.

 

[Walden]

Yeah I agree with Grey Fox , however


"Whoa this is crazy. I saw you on that online dating web site. Whats up? "

might be as good as anything, if youre just taking a pot shot at some girl.

 

[tom121]

try this

"Whoa this is crazy. I saw you on that online dating web site. does that mean you are single? (wink)"

and start conversation

 

[milkman]

You: "WOW, that is crazy, is saw you in the Internet. And I was sure you are married."

She:"Hähhhh, why did you think that?"

You: "Hmm, you haven´t ask me out, have you?"

 

[frivolousz21]

next time you see her in real life...talk to her..look in her eyes..look confident...after you exstablish rapport ask her out/tell her ur hanging out.

if she rejects you then next her ass.

dont waste time on this ****

 

[cannibustacap]

What do you think of this:

Subject: Hey, saw you on jdate ;-)

Whoa this is crazy. I saw you at Shabbat dinner a few times. We never talked much, I just got your name and added you to facebook awhile ago. Now I completely stumbled on you on jdate. CRAZY!!

So how is Jdate working for you? seducing many guys?

I kinda don't know about this. I want to be myself, but I also want to come off ****y/funny so I don't look like every other dumbass online.

 

[huge_guy_pimpin]

Originally posted by frivolousz21
next time you see her in real life...talk to her..look in her eyes..look confident...after you exstablish rapport ask her out/tell her ur hanging out.

if she rejects you then next her ass.

dont waste time on this ****

this man is efficient.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

This girl waves at you and you return a blank stare??? HUH?? You must be jewish!

You have the upper hand because you know that she is lookIng for a mate - HER WAVING HER HAND AT YOU SHOULD HAVE GIVEN YOU A CLUE BUT I GUESS YOU HAD TO RUN INTO HER PERSONAL AD WHICH EXPRESSLY STATED HER INTENTIONS! I imagine you are now emboldened by knowing that she is "looking".

Next time you see her you must go up to her and ask her out to a barmitxfa or whatever!! And DO NOT mention her ad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOWEVER,

If you think that you need to do it right away and will not see her anytime soon then do what you have planned - but just let her know that you have a personal ad as well and that...

"it is funny how people search for a mate through the internet yet there are occasions where people see each other in person and do not approach one another - the internet (impersonal communication) seems to enbolden us! Such as our case!"

Do this today!!

 

[cannibustacap]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
This girl waves at you and you return a blank stare??? HUH?? You must be jewish!

You have the upper hand because you know that she is lookIng for a mate - HER WAVING HER HAND AT YOU SHOULD HAVE GIVEN YOU A CLUE BUT I GUESS YOU HAD TO RUN INTO HER PERSONAL AD WHICH EXPRESSLY STATED HER INTENTIONS! I imagine you are now emboldened by knowing that she is "looking".

Next time you see her you must go up to her and ask her out to a barmitxfa or whatever!! And DO NOT mention her ad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOWEVER,

If you think that you need to do it right away and will not see her anytime soon then do what you have planned - but just let her know that you have a personal ad as well and that...

"it is funny how people search for a mate through the internet yet there are occasions where people see each other in person and do not approach one another - the internet (impersonal communication) seems to enbolden us! Such as our case!"

Do this today!!

wait, do I have to make my own ad? Can't I say I was browsing through the site?

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

To make her feel comfortable, just say you were looking for a mate as well and were about to place an ad but found her ad first and decided that your search was over. Something 'corny'/'cheesy' as such.

 

[cannibustacap]

I dunno about that line:

"it is funny how people search for a mate through the internet yet there are occasions where people see each other in person and do not approach one another - the internet (impersonal communication) seems to enbolden us! Such as our case!"

Has it worked for you... I mean I may say it and change it up. Like instead of saying "mate" say "searching for someone..."

Keep in mind we are 18-19

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Dude, use it as a outline - use the verbage that you are comfortable with and that which best expresses your sentiments.

Nonetheless, it is a true and an insightful message! She'll appreciate it! This statement describes 'your' situation perfectly - does it not?

 

[cannibustacap]

heh I can't believe I am spending so much time on this... but anyway I am thinking of saying this:

Whoa this is crazy. I saw you at Shabbat dinner a few times. We never talked much, I just got your name and added you to facebook awhile ago. Now I completely stumbled on you on jdate.

Its funny how people search for someone through the internet yet there are occasions where people see each other in person and do not approach. The internet just just emboldens us. Such as our case!

Anyway I hope finals go well and you have a great winter break. We should hang out sometime though. See ya

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Originally posted by cannibustacap
heh I can't believe I am spending so much time on this...

I was thinking the same thing on my part - and it's not even my girl!!

Your ending is wrong and weak!!! "We should hook up some time" is not the statement you want to end on! You want to be purposeful and exact!

Say, "I'm interested in meeting you in the flesh, give me your phone number and lets meet and have some fun before the next club meeting." BINGO - the next thing you know you are married and have 3 children to feed!!!

Maybe I should just send the message to her myself!

 

[penkitten]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover


Maybe I should just send the message to her myself!

i double dog dare you!

 

[cannibustacap]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
I was thinking the same thing on my part - and it's not even my girl!!

Your ending is wrong and weak!!! "We should hook up some time" is not the statement you want to end on! You want to be purposeful and exact!

Say, "I'm interested in meeting you in the flesh, give me your phone number and lets meet and have some fun before the next club meeting." BINGO - the next thing you know you are married and have 3 children to feed!!!

Maybe I should just send the message to her myself!

No no no, its not even this girl though. Its in general. I'm spending so much time on this so I know what to say in general. I always say the wrong things or nothing at all. That is my problem and this training is my solution.

Anywayzzzz:

Whoa this is crazy. I saw you at Shabbat dinner a few times. We never talked much, I just got your name and added you to facebook awhile ago. Now I completely stumbled on you on jdate.

Its funny how people search for someone through the internet yet there are occasions where people see each other in person and do not approach. The internet just emboldens us. Such as our case!

I'm interested in meeting you. Seeing as we have finals then winter break it probably won't be very soon, but whatever. So see ya later

I'm kinda not sure what to say in the very end. The fact everyone is going home for the break. I don't want to turn into her comedy pen-pal but I don't want to wait a month for 99999 other guys to date her on jdate and she finds a boy friend.

Maybe I just shouldn't even mention finals or winter break at all? Just say "I am interested in meeting you.

I really like PuertoRican_Lover's directness... but it just sounds too in your face... saying "in the flesh"... even though I am spending a lot of effort on this girl, i'm not like In love with her or obsessed. I am more obsessed with seeing if this will work.

But PuertoRican_Lover, regarless... I appreaciate your help A LOT!!!

 

[cannibustacap]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover

Say, "I'm interested in meeting you in the flesh, give me your phone number and lets meet and have some fun before the next club meeting."

Also, shoulnd't I build some rapport before asking for digits? Well.. at least wait for her to give me a reply online before digits

 

[cannibustacap]

Fùck, I have spent too much time over analyzing and over thinking this sh~t.

I just sent this

Whoa this is crazy. I saw you at Shabbat dinner a few times. We never talked much, I just got your name and added you to facebook awhile ago. Now I completely stumbled on you on jdate.

Its funny how people search for someone through the internet yet there are occasions where people see each other in person and do not approach. The internet just emboldens us. Such as our case!

Although we have finals taking up all our time now and then winterbreak, I am interested in meeting you.

Whatever happens happens, I don't care. Life if just an experiment.

For some reason I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders when I hit that send button.