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What are some signs your gf might be into someone else

jay07

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Whatsup guys,

So I've been with this chick for 7 months now. Everything has been a normal relationship up until about 2 weeks ago.

My gf has started picking up random hobbies (smoking, playing the piano,art).Now at first this doesn't seem weird, just some chick trying to be creative or w.e. (minus the smoking) but this through me off. so I go on her fb page and notice these guys she added.

I click on this one dudes profile and the first thing that pops up is he is an artsy guy who plays the piano.

So the other night I ask her where her interest in this stuff came and she just keeps saying "i've always loved it I just never acted on it" I said ok and dropped it.

Then I ask her why she started smoking and she said because black and milds make her not breathe. (Like cigs are any better)

Then yesterday she said she wasn't gonna come over when I got back cause she wanted to play her piano.

her texting has been a little shorter over the past week or so as well.

I could be overreacting but today I plan on not contacting her first to see what happens. I think this guy she works with she has taken an interest in but I could be wrong.

any other signs I should look for before investigating if she's cheating?
 

Tiguere

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Signs are

She pulls back
Text and calls decrease
Sex turns into a chore.


How do you turn thos around....

You pull back even more.
Make it a mission impossible to reach you(avoiding her to hold a branch while aiming for her next)

One thing that will throws her off is releasing your self from her tight grip. The more needy and available you become the smoother her transition will be.
 

AttackFormation

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More signs? do you need the sign pole bashed in your face too? this girl is bored of you and wants new c0ck. It doesn't matter if she's physically cheated or not - in her mind, you are already dead to her. Pulling back on all fronts is not only what's best for you, it's one of the best hopes of getting your straying girlfriend back too (which will probably cease to interest you once you've moved on).
 

zorg198

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Your "girlfriend" is starting to de attach herself from you and attach herself you another dude. don't play this game. go NC , don't talk with her. in the mean time find another chick.

Your girlfriend got some nerve to pull this sh!t .

Joe.
 

Yorkex

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Simply pull back. Don't answer her text on time , don't pick up every phone. If you want to be with her then I suggest you FORGET about the idea of doing cute things to keep her around. A relationship goes downhill once the man becomes the chaser , distance yourself and let her chase you.

This won't be the first time it will happen so be on a look out , if you try to be the saviour of the relationship , she will sleep with another guy then come back to you like nothing happened. Focus on something else , if you think she is not worth it ...this is the time to break it off.
 

GS750

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I've said it, and heard it before: She pulls back 10 feet, you pull back a mile. You may want to consider becoming the dumper before you become the dumpee.
 

El Payaso

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Start detaching yourself mentally and emotionally. FAST!!!!

You don't need any more signs. The worst part is the smoking.
 

Thorninmyside

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Pre emptive dump. Do it now. She's laying feathers down in another nest to ensure a smooth landing when she leaves yours. Pull the rug out from her safety plan and tell her she can play the piano all she wants.
 

Greasy Pig

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Such a dramatic shift in general behaviour should be a huge red flag. Start planning an exit strategy.
 

jay07

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Yeah it's just strange. Everything was great lately. haven't fought in awhile I thought it was great.

I was supposed to call her last night when I got back but I decided against it cause her texting was annoying me, takin 40 mins to respond and when she did they were stupid little sentences I had trouble even responding to.

She hasn't tried contactigng me today but when she does she's gonna ask if I'm mad or something.

Like thorn said. If she dumps me or says we have to talk I'm just gonna be like "ok, good luck with your piano"
 

Meisterman

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Number 1 sign in my opinion is change in patterns. For example, she always comes home every day at 7 p.m., but lately has been staying until 10 or 11? Red flag. Or she doesn't respond to texts the same way, doesn't reach out as much? Red flag. Something in your gut feels "off" like a change in the relationship dynamic but you can't put your finger on it? Your gut is usually right.
 

jay07

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Yep.

she works as a waitress so her work is random but she was delaying the texts even after her shift yesterday. posted a selfie all makeup and dressed up at 3 am. I got home around 130.

she was saying the things she usually says but in a shorter tone like she was trying to end the convo. I invited her out w. Us and what raised my suspicions last night was:

her: just call me later I want to play my keyboard (11:01pm)
her: anyways I wouldn't be there til like twelve lol (11:10pm)

Double excuse when all she needed to say was the first one.

if she asks me what's wrong should I call her out on it or should I just play it off like I'm not suspicious
 

AttackFormation

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jay07 said:
if she asks me what's wrong should I call her out on it or should I just play it off like I'm not suspicious
You're asking the wrong questions

How you respond to her doesn't matter, but how you take your own life forward does.
 

jay07

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AttackFormation said:
You're asking the wrong questions

How you respond to her doesn't matter, but how you take your own life forward does.
Yes but I'm asking because my gut feeling in my last relationship was right and I was screwed over. however I do like this chick and if I'm wrong and it's nothing I don't want to end a relationship with someone I've invested time in. or worse, look like an idiot when in reality she was correct and she really did just want to do these things.

I kno it looks bad. and it could be , but I'm not gonna react until I kno for sure.
 

El Payaso

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Do not ask. Just live your life like she doesn't exist and start prospecting other women.

If you had 100 fresh apples and one of them turned rotten, would you worry yourself? Of course not. You would simply eat or sell the other 99 apples.

Scarcity mentality is what is making you nervous and anxious. She isn't nervous about you because she knows she can get another man at the drop of a hat.

Start living your life more and stop worrying about her.
 

nismo-4

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Dump her before she dumps you. Erase and replace her ASAP.

If your gut says your princess is in another castle, she likely is.

Case closed.
 

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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Look man, look at what you said here:

jay07 said:
I'm asking because my gut feeling in my last relationship was right and I was screwed over. however I do like this chick. it looks bad. but I'm not gonna react until I kno for sure.
You are changing your opinion of this girl because you like her?

There is your problem. You are attached. Dump her already cuz she is already cheating. How the heck can you NOT tell that? You invited her out and she is staying out late till 12? Are you crazy? Who the fvck comes home that late all of a sudden?

the brutal truth for ya is this:

She is sucking your worst enemy's **** and getting butt fvcked like a rape victim and likes it, all the while your best friend is filming it and she knows it.

Ok maybe not that bad, but she might as well have done that because cheating in any way is still cheating.

Look, you said it yourself, you got screwed over last time you didn't trust your gut instinct. Who's to say that this time is different?
 

the_stig

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The more I read, the more it sounds like the beginning of a branch swing.

Girls have a hard time being emotionally invested in more than one guy, so when they suddenly pull back out of the clear blue, it's usually an indicator there's another guy in the picture.

All the advice is spot on. Dump her or make yourself very scarce. Anything else will just push her deeper into piano man's arms. I'd fall off the face for a few days and see how she responds. If she doesn't seem concerned or enter pursuit mode, immediately dump her. That's if you even want to try to turn the tables.

I've pulled girls back, but frankly, once I know they have the capability to do me wrong, the relationship never feels the same nor do I ever fully trust them. So what's the point?

All roads lead to spin more plates.
 

Between_The_Lines

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the_stig said:
The more I read, the more it sounds like the beginning of a branch swing.

Girls have a hard time being emotionally invested in more than one guy, so when they suddenly pull back out of the clear blue, it's usually an indicator there's another guy in the picture.

All the advice is spot on. Dump her or make yourself very scarce. Anything else will just push her deeper into piano man's arms. I'd fall off the face for a few days and see how she responds. If she doesn't seem concerned or enter pursuit mode, immediately dump her. That's if you even want to try to turn the tables.

I've pulled girls back, but frankly, once I know they have the capability to do me wrong, the relationship never feels the same nor do I ever fully trust them. So what's the point?

All roads lead to spin more plates.
Agreed.

If this spirals into a gnawing concern (which, it seems to be so judging by what you've told us) backed by evidence supporting your suspicions, it's probably best that you let her go before she lets you go. Don't hang around long enough to find yourself living in a constant state of anxiety and panic, waiting for the other shoe to drop as you'll only be setting yourself up to slip into a bitter/angry phase once it comes to a crashing end.
 
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