Weak interactions should not be overused

[KiInCollege]

I’ve been seeing a lot of common mistakes lately when someone is telling their report, so here is a reminder:

Your strategy should be getting the girl to see you at your best.

This is why we stress no group dates and minimal phone conversations. This is why I stress no chatting over the Internet or no cell texts (I understand in Europe cell texts are the norm. But, like the phone, try to keep it minimal). Forced to see her everyday on campus? Get her number, and then give her minimal contact until your date. Met her at a party or club? Unless you can lay her that night, get her number, and then make sure to leave her wanting more.

These are all weak, indirect interactions that lack full investment on the part of the male. Overuse can hinder your chance at getting the date by slowing the pace of the relationship.

Use these tools only to get the date. When you're on the date, it's face-to-face, rich with body language, and little ambiguity. If you are socially skilled, this situation is where you are strongest.

Questions or experiences encouraged.

 

[JT47319]

I think the weakness in this approach is that, unless you have high attraction and interest level initially, you are giving off a cold, impersonal, playerish vibe ("I'm just there to get #s") that will turn off girls. Each initial encounter with a girl can be a MINI-date. Whether it's at the library or the club, you can do mini-venue changes that act as instant dates. This will decrease your flake rate. Otherwise, the total shotgun approach to #s will be on scale of jwhite's college experiment. He was having lots of success get the #s, but also had a high percentage of flakes.

Each interaction with a girl, whether it's the initial encounter or phone conversation, IS GAME TIME. The more game time you put in, the more likely the successful interaction.

The other concept is PUSH-PULL. Or qualify and disqualify her so that she receives mixed messages.

 

[KiInCollege]

I disagree with some your ideals, or I've misunderstood you. Your target should have, as you said, "high attraction and interest level initially," otherwise it's better to invest your time in another girl.

Having phone conversations to display that you qualify is important, but it is not "game time." Neither is having a text volley over your cell phone. Your routine class session where you see the girl weekly is not game time. Nor is seeing her at church and having a convo with her among friends.

I value the above times for displaying challenge and securing a future date. From your reply, I understand that you place more value in these interactions than I do.

When I'm on the date with her, that's when I "go for the throat," so to speak, in terms to getting her to want me sexually.

But, maybe we're defining "game time" differently. I see it as the time you close the girl and convince her that you're the guy she wants - the session where you and her connect and she decides to forget about your competition and choose you. The best way to do this is on the date at night, not during an impromptu after-class coffee date or sensitive email.

The reason I made this thread was to address that lately many of the posters state their situation, don't mention closing the girl for an actual date, and then wonder why their not getting results. They may view frequent class sessions, emails and texts as slow but steady progress, but I am reminding them that it's not the DJ way to be so indirect.

 

[Duke]

Agreed, K. Vistiting the chick frequently or constantly using instant messenger or phone to communicate will ultimately water down your REAL interactions with the girl.

GAME-TIME as defined by me= "the time in which a DJ/PUA escalates the interaction to a close." Which means that your initial encounter when you ask her for her number? That's gametime. The date that you escalate into a kiss-close? That's gametime. If you aren't working to close her (in class or where-ever), then that is not "game time" but it is NEUTRAL and all you have to do during that time is avoid unattractive behavior.

 

[JJMcLure]

I think I understand what you're saying and there's some truth in it.

But people shouldn't get too caught up in ensuring every encounter they have to be "100% their best", or else they will get a form of paralysis of overanalysis, in that they will try to avoid the chick if their hair isn't right, their best shirt isn't on, or they haven't "planned" a funny convo to have etc.

That will only work against confidence and make them nervous and appear unnatural. It will come off weird.

But as for avoiding texts, MSN, group dates and long phone calls - I fully agree. You should spend time communicating with a chick IN PERSON (on a date), not over any of these other things.

 

[Skatanic]

To summarise:

Before the date; you are a wanted man. You don't really have time to call her, contact her, etc.

During the date; you devote yourself entirely to her for the night. If your phone rings, reject the call and turn it off. You have to be charming, charismatic and enthusiastic about what you say, and your body language must be a strong and positive.

After the date, you go back to being a wanted man, and not having much time for her. Wash, rinse and repeat the process. She'll think back to the date(s) and her interest will rise everytime her thoughts stray to it. Her memory is being filtered by time and her desire to spend more time with you.

Because she knows that she's not going to get satisfying time spent with you in between those dates.

As usual, it's up to you how long you want to keep this up for. It's just a (great) method for increasing interest levels.

Clayton.

 

[AMF]

Originally posted by Skatanic
She'll think back to the date(s) and her interest will rise everytime her thoughts stray to it. Her memory is being filtered by time and her desire to spend more time with you.

Whether it is "absence makes the heart grow fonder" or "out of sight, out of mind" depends entirely on the sheer quality of your time together.