We might be beyond repair--- but don't fvck it up your your kids!

[DEKKA]

ok listen up people.

don't fvck up your kids when and if you have them. don't tell them not to talk to strangers and all that other bullsh!t. you've got so many non-social people in the world, don't make your kids the same way plz.

when you have kids get them into social stuff and keep them there. humans are social creatures and that stuff develops from being in and around other people.

being over-protective will usually backfire on you. you can be strick with your kids and still not be a over-protective sob.

if you got a little boy don't make him a ***** by lettin mom raise the kid. if you got a little girl then so be it. teach your boy how to box tell him its perfectly fine to get in a fight at school as long as he wins. nothings gunna happen to him that bad besides a little self-confidence.

if you got a little girl you know boys is gunna be all over that sh!t soon as she hits 12. if you instilled some good family values and pack a baseball bat, you should be able to keep her outta trouble for a few years.

don't fvckin move from place to place all the dam time, pick a nice place and stay there. nothing like having your kids make some friends then move away. sux.

teach your kids sh!t. better yet, teach them to teach themselves sh!t. also, teach them how to do social stuff too like sports and all that stuff.

don't be a hardass. you don't gotta be an ******* for kids to listen to you. they just have to know that your no means no. don't EVER go back on what you said unless you have a good reason.

have stuff to do at your house and don't tell your kids they can't have people over.

try to stay together with your spouse if nothing else for your kids sake.

basically just don't be a stupid chode for a parent and make your kids hate you and mess up their chance at a happy life cuz you didn't have yours quite the way you wanted.

-J

 

[jakethasnake]

A lot of fvck-ups and retards in SoCal. I imagine that's why you were inspired to say this. I'm with ya - 100%.

 

[rgeere]

teach your boy how to box tell him its perfectly fine to get in a fight at school as long as he wins. nothings gunna happen to him that bad besides a little self-confidence.

Hopefully, you arn't inferring that he should provoke fights [I don't think you are], but there is nothing wrong with learning how to defends ones self when given no other option.

 

[DEKKA]

Originally posted by rgeere
teach your boy how to box tell him its perfectly fine to get in a fight at school as long as he wins. nothings gunna happen to him that bad besides a little self-confidence.

Hopefully, you arn't inferring that he should provoke fights [I don't think you are], but there is nothing wrong with learning how to defends ones self when given no other option.

this thread is all about NOT being a bad parent. and yes, thats what i mean. telling your kid to go beat up other kids for no reason is totally against the whole idea. however, teaching your kid to be alpha from a young age and not take **** is gunna help him in the long run a lot more than its gunna hurt him in the k-6 if ya know what i mean. also, i think we're turning into an age where most people are afraid of physical altercations.... some people say that we're "evolving" as a race and becoming more civilized etc. the VAST majority of men are afriad to fight... even when it's justified, and i don't like that much myself, but , alas, perhaps it just goes hand in hand with the other areas we're "evolving" in such as the feminization of men as a group and the womens movement.

 

[MindOverMatter]

however, teaching your kid to be alpha from a young age and not take **** is gunna help him in the long run a lot more than its gunna hurt him in the k-6 if ya know what i mean.

I totally agree with you. Kids should learn to stand up for themselves at an early age. Not pick fights, but not back down either when picked on. Enrolling a kid in a martial art class around the age of 6 or 7 will do wonders for him later in life. It teaches them discipline, builds their confidence, and prepares them for the uglier situations in life.

 

[AFK Protector]

Wow, thanks for this info.

Now I just gotta get a girlfriend.....wait a few years.....get married.......have kids.......


lol jp. Yea, good point. Don't just let them be rebels though. Exercise some control, because frankly, I could get along with a nice guy, but definitely not an *******.

 

[Ebach]

Don't just let them be rebels though. Exercise some control, because frankly, I could get along with a nice guy, but definitely not an *******.

That's the exact attitude that messes up your kids. Just because you can't stand a confident person doesn't mean you should instill your loser values onto your kids. Just something to think about. Your beliefs are not "perfect" and you should allow your kid to experience for himself what's best with some parental guidance, not control. Control is for the weak, guidance is for the strong.

I pretty much agree with everything DEKKA has to stay because I've been through that **** and it's not pretty. I know exactly where he's coming from.

Great post!

 

[AFK Protector]

So...you're willing to let your kids do whatever they want....and "experience" drugs, alcohol, STDs, etc. Exercise SOME control. Otherwise, you're not a parent. Guidance, like you said, is a better word, but kids don't always follow the path set for them. We both know that.

 

[Ebach]

You don't set their path, they set it for themselves. You're still too young to understand and obviously haven't gone through a lot of bull**** that other people have so you can't seriously give advice on this topic.

True, drugs are no good but there's nothing you can do anyway. If your kids want to do drugs they WILL do them and even if you're the biggest control freak you won't be able to stop them. In fact, they might choose to do drugs more than if you'd just allow them to find their own path. I'm not saying be their friend, I'm not saying be their boss, I'm saying be their father.

You need to learn more about cause and effect. The more you control your kids the more they would go out of control. The reason being is when you're being controled/manipulated you're experiencing pain and you'd go in the opposite direction; i.e. being out of control.

Be your kids' father, not their authoritian. Then we wonder why so many people hate order, authority, and are being antisocial. It's because of losers who were too blind by their own ****.

 

[duke007]

Read a copy of the book, "They F**k You Up" This guy says that kids learn the most in the first 2 years of their life. How you act around your kid greatly influences who they will become.

A healthy thing for young boys is play-wrestling. This is just like animals in the wild. They get practise in being physical and having fun at the same time, and the fact they will always get beaten ensures respect for the father/cousin and creates an inner competitive spirit.
(For example, repeated rejection makes you stronger, just as losing all the time encourages you to do better)

Another good thing for older boys (10-11yo) is to allow them the responsibility to plan or organise events, making them feel important, manly and instil leadership skills.

My uncle put my little cousin in charge of organising a "working bee" for our grandma. He had to call up all of the extended family to let them know arrangements and contribute to the list of jobs that needed to be done. This would have done wonders to his self-worth.

 

[gav]

nice post dekka. when i have kids, i will not be so fvcked up anymore, so perhaps i'll be showing them the right way to do things without thinking about it

one thing to add is NEVER tell the kid to follow the teacher's instruction to "shut up and listen". I'm not gonna make excuses for why i became a social recluse, but i remember being a very very outgoing kid until my parents and teachers got worried about my education so they told me to shut up and listen so i'd learn something. i suppose i must have taken this advice to the extremes and decided to make it a goal to keep my mouth shut and say about 10words the whole year in class. how fvcked up.

while we're on the school subject, i knew that if i wanted to do well in school i needed to be good, not get into trouble or fights and basically just become a teacher's pet. fvcking hell, i stopped fighting altogether, stopped talking in class, sucked up to the teacher's fat ass and pretty much put on a show that i stuck to for 5 or 6 years.

oh yeh and my mum would always go on about how she fvcked up her life by getting involved (with my dad) too early in life. i guess she was trying to protect me, but she told me to stick to your education and not the females. that advice was the reason i turned down girls asking me to go out with them from ages 11-13, even though i liked them.

i suppose you have to look at the positives as well. i could have ended up drinking my life down the drain or have become a junky or a complete NED (non educated delinquent, i.e. a retard)

and of course, diet is extremely important. i spent about 4 or 5 years drinking coke constantly! if only i had drank milk instead.
so get your kids addicted to milk and peanuts and peanut butter too (+all the other good sh!t)

 

[AFK Protector]

Yeah, Ebach, I've been thinking about it. And you're right. I need to let them loose so I won't pass on my loser traits.

 

[DEKKA]

think about it this way... from my own personal experience... i was pretty sheltered and protected compared to most of my friends and still tried more drugs and bad stuff then most of them. i was also probably considered a very religious person... but none of that makes a difference about how someobodys gunna turn out cuz people are gunna do what they want to do... bottom line....

if you love and respect your kids and really care for them then they wont want to disappoint you by doing bad things, although they will do some. if your kids respect you and love you and they know you have their best interests in mind you cut down on a lotta bullsh!t.

-J

 

[MrBond007]

[A bit off topic]
Fact: Drinking too much milk can be dangerous for your health. Stomacial(sp?) pain, weakened bones, for examples.

One of my friends ONLY drinks milk and hes the weakest person I have ever known. His skelleton seems so frail that he looks like hes about to collapse at any seconds.

 

[gav]

Originally posted by MrBond007
[A bit off topic]
Fact: Drinking too much milk can be dangerous for your health. Stomacial(sp?) pain, weakened bones, for examples.

One of my friends ONLY drinks milk and hes the weakest person I have ever known. His skelleton seems so frail that he looks like hes about to collapse at any seconds.

yes, because he ONLY drinks milk. It's very good for you.

i go through about 2-4pints a day at the moment and if anything i'm stronger (obviously that's in correlation with me bulking up by working out and eating and drinking other stuff too)

milk gives you protein and carbs. FIzzy drinks give you ****all

 

[rgeere]

Originally posted by MrBond007
[A bit off topic]
Fact: Drinking too much milk can be dangerous for your health. Stomacial(sp?) pain, weakened bones, for examples.

One of my friends ONLY drinks milk and hes the weakest person I have ever known. His skelleton seems so frail that he looks like hes about to collapse at any seconds.

Milk is healthy for you as long as you don't drink it in excess.
If that is all you are living off of then you need to majorly revamp your diet, as Bond stated above. Don't believe the commercials or what the milk producers say about milk, they don't tell the whole truth.

 

[MrBond007]

2 glasses of milk per day is borderline to excess or is excessive in a lot of cases.

 

[JSH]

Originally posted by MindOverMatter
I totally agree with you. Kids should learn to stand up for themselves at an early age. Not pick fights, but not back down either when picked on. Enrolling a kid in a martial art class around the age of 6 or 7 will do wonders for him later in life. It teaches them discipline, builds their confidence, and prepares them for the uglier situations in life.

I would disagree with this, this is the attitude that leads to pushy parents and their kids who do everything and then know no longer have cartilage in heir leg because all they have done is sport. Sure play wrestle and let the kid do whatever they want, if they want too join, help them and guide them. But do not force them into doing music, chess, sports, helping everyone constatnly, let them develop themseleves as well.

 

[dietzcoi]

Most importantly THINK before you have kids. Don't just have them because everybody else is doing it. You will regret it and so will they.

Dietzcoi

 

[Ebach]

Yeah, Ebach, I've been thinking about it. And you're right. I need to let them loose so I won't pass on my loser traits.

I wasn't talking about you specifically, I was focusing on your toughts, which seem rather logical but not realistic. I know from experience. Your kids will get part of your and your wife's traits, that's for sure, but the thing is to allow them to develop in a good environment. Don't ask of them to be scholars, academics, athletes, whatever. Show them what's out there and let them choose what they want to do. The thing is they will do what they want to do after they get older so you really don't have much saying.

I would disagree with this, this is the attitude that leads to pushy parents and their kids who do everything and then know no longer have cartilage in heir leg because all they have done is sport. Sure play wrestle and let the kid do whatever they want, if they want too join, help them and guide them. But do not force them into doing music, chess, sports, helping everyone constatnly, let them develop themseleves as well.

Couldn't have said it better myself. Pushy parents is the result indeed. You don't enroll your kid in whatever you think will be helpful to them because you don't know what WILL be helpful. Ask them if they'd find certain thing interesting and if they show enthusiasm then enroll them. If they don't like it, then you don't force them.

Teaching a kid about discipline at 6/7? You gotta be outta your ****ing mind. People learn discipline in their 20s. Before that kids are too emotional to want to do anything that doesn't feel good. In their 20s they get out in the real world, understand that sometimes they have to do what's good for them and not what feels good to them.

My father started teaching me about discipline and being a man at around that age 6/7 and I hated it. He was pushy, I got beaten for doing childish things when in fact I was 6 at the time, he wanted me to watch the news instead of those kiddy shows etc. Overall, until I was about 17 or so my life was a living hell when I was around my father.

I don't consider him a real man because he's not. As a result though, I've learned a lot of hard lessons that not everyone gets to learn. I'm happy in a way of the outcome even though I would've prefered a different way of acquiring it.