drmeathead
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2004
- Messages
- 490
- Reaction score
- 6
- Age
- 45
I have come to the realization that we are all just chasing a high. I mean it. We are. We chase that buzz, that feel-good of emotion. We make compromises and allowances of our beliefs and principles just in order to get that buzz again.
No more is it true than with a woman. Why do we act like untrained puppies ****ting all over the rug the minute we find a girl we "like"? The answer is simply that we are whacked on natural endorphins and are "high". Why do we put up with a woman's mind games? Because by interacting with her, at any extent, we get a buzz. Why do we linger over her and discuss what we did wrong with her over and over again? To get just a taste of that buzz.
It isnt our fault really. We are programmed this way. Sexual procreation in its nature must be pleasureable or we would never have any desire to pass on our genes. It is a fact of genetic survival. Our bodies were designed to release powerful pleasure hormones when interacting with the opposite sex. These produce an addictive euphoria. Some can handle this better than others just as some can handle a glass of scotch better than others. Some men can "play it cool", while others regularly turn into wimpy sniviling addicts much in the same way, some cocaine addicts can effectly function in a professional setting and others simply lie around flop houses waiting for a way to get their next score.
I am not talking about sexual addiction specifically here but that is indeed part of it. Nor am I specifically talking about "oneitis" here but that is also part of it. What I am referring to is how the pursuit of the opposite sex turns us, at times, into people that we just normally arent. How an otherwise confident, independant, outgoing, successful man can turn into a a whieny clingy shell of himself over the pursuit of a woman.
Everyone is different in this regard. Everyone has a different breaking point. Some have their head up their ass simply talking to a woman, some on the first date, others after a few dates, others become "whipped" once they get into a long term relationship. Some seemingly never do. Some
While their are strategies and tactics to avoid the buzz, to avoid fixating on it, there is a certain amount of it we cannot control. We may know all the games and all moves to make, however once we get that buzz we are simply powerless.
Many will argue that it is simply a lack of self-confidence or a lacking many other things that compose what is called " good inner game". I contend different that while that plays a large part for many people, I am willing to postulate that there is a certain ingrained biological response to the buzz that hits each individual differently.
Now I will save the reader the lecture on biochemistries, receptors, affinities, and genetic variation but much the same way that some have darker hair or skin than another, we all have differnt amounts of endorphin released and effectively stimulate the mind in response to an identical situation. Simply put, the buzz in response to one situation varies from person to person based on genetics.
The way we handle this buzz, granted, is often times based on expericene. Being able to keep your head clear during this buzz is difficult. Being able to keep your head clear when the buzz wears off and withdrawl sets in is even tougher. It is during this withdrawal time that we often "mess up" with a woman by becoming to clingy or available. If you think about it, rarely do we read of tales of men messing up on a date when all is well. Usually men mess up in the in-between days when they start craving that buzz again. Or worse yet when it seems threatened that the source of their buzz is being taken away (ietwo guys physically fighting over a woman).
Our only savior, our only weapon, our redemption is expericence. Experience allows us to keep our head during the rush. It allows us to realize that if we wait out the pangs of withdrawal often times our source of the buzz isnt that far away. It allows us to realize that if the source of our buzz goes away and that we can find another source as the source isnt that unique because after all all we are are junkies chasing a high.
No more is it true than with a woman. Why do we act like untrained puppies ****ting all over the rug the minute we find a girl we "like"? The answer is simply that we are whacked on natural endorphins and are "high". Why do we put up with a woman's mind games? Because by interacting with her, at any extent, we get a buzz. Why do we linger over her and discuss what we did wrong with her over and over again? To get just a taste of that buzz.
It isnt our fault really. We are programmed this way. Sexual procreation in its nature must be pleasureable or we would never have any desire to pass on our genes. It is a fact of genetic survival. Our bodies were designed to release powerful pleasure hormones when interacting with the opposite sex. These produce an addictive euphoria. Some can handle this better than others just as some can handle a glass of scotch better than others. Some men can "play it cool", while others regularly turn into wimpy sniviling addicts much in the same way, some cocaine addicts can effectly function in a professional setting and others simply lie around flop houses waiting for a way to get their next score.
I am not talking about sexual addiction specifically here but that is indeed part of it. Nor am I specifically talking about "oneitis" here but that is also part of it. What I am referring to is how the pursuit of the opposite sex turns us, at times, into people that we just normally arent. How an otherwise confident, independant, outgoing, successful man can turn into a a whieny clingy shell of himself over the pursuit of a woman.
Everyone is different in this regard. Everyone has a different breaking point. Some have their head up their ass simply talking to a woman, some on the first date, others after a few dates, others become "whipped" once they get into a long term relationship. Some seemingly never do. Some
While their are strategies and tactics to avoid the buzz, to avoid fixating on it, there is a certain amount of it we cannot control. We may know all the games and all moves to make, however once we get that buzz we are simply powerless.
Many will argue that it is simply a lack of self-confidence or a lacking many other things that compose what is called " good inner game". I contend different that while that plays a large part for many people, I am willing to postulate that there is a certain ingrained biological response to the buzz that hits each individual differently.
Now I will save the reader the lecture on biochemistries, receptors, affinities, and genetic variation but much the same way that some have darker hair or skin than another, we all have differnt amounts of endorphin released and effectively stimulate the mind in response to an identical situation. Simply put, the buzz in response to one situation varies from person to person based on genetics.
The way we handle this buzz, granted, is often times based on expericene. Being able to keep your head clear during this buzz is difficult. Being able to keep your head clear when the buzz wears off and withdrawl sets in is even tougher. It is during this withdrawal time that we often "mess up" with a woman by becoming to clingy or available. If you think about it, rarely do we read of tales of men messing up on a date when all is well. Usually men mess up in the in-between days when they start craving that buzz again. Or worse yet when it seems threatened that the source of their buzz is being taken away (ietwo guys physically fighting over a woman).
Our only savior, our only weapon, our redemption is expericence. Experience allows us to keep our head during the rush. It allows us to realize that if we wait out the pangs of withdrawal often times our source of the buzz isnt that far away. It allows us to realize that if the source of our buzz goes away and that we can find another source as the source isnt that unique because after all all we are are junkies chasing a high.
