Ways Women Avoid Responsibility

[Scaramouche]

Dear All,
I have never before felt so proud of my fellow philanderers...the original post and soo many of the contributions read like sheer bluddy poetry...

 

[BadsnakeUK]

Yeah agreed about the overall lack of accountability (which is a much better word for it). Then again, do they really have the fortitude to deal with it? They go on about how tough they have it but most of them would crumble in a day if they had to deal with a tenth of the responsibility that men deal with.

Oh yeah, and lets not forget the biggest way they avoid accontability: cry and cry and cry. Sorry girls, unless a close relative has just died, it doesn't fly with me any more.

 

[penkitten]

They go on about how tough they have it but most of them would crumble in a day if they had to deal with a tenth of the responsibility that men deal with.

what exactly are you doing that women are not these days?
with the exception of scratching some balls, i don't see where it is any more tough for you .

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

I wrote this back in 2006: Operative Social Conventions

What's changed since then?

Women want to avoid responsibility - yeah, and the sky is blue. We need 50+ y.o. SS members to tell us this? Please. All we're doing here is re-examining methods, social conventions and psychologies that are easily observable in behavior, and easily reasoned out if we're only willing to put aside our own investments in the whole game and see them for what they are.

Similarly, chumps avoid responsibility as well: AFC Social Conventions

I wrote this last year. What's changed? AFCs are still clinging to their own ego investments in their own mythologies. They're still stunting their own maturity and avoiding the responsibility of developing into a healthy acceptance of their own Manhood and positive masculinity.

For every point you can run down about how women avoid responsibility (accountability really) I can rattle off one about how chumps are doing the same thing. The mistake is in the thinking that a woman ought to live up to your own expectations, or that your own expectations are shared by her or society at large. She oughta do what she says and say what she means - in a perfect world. Unfortunately threads like this are just illustrations of guys half-way through life who are still confounded by this; and rather than predict this behavior, anticipate the results and respond accordingly they'll shake their fists at the world, "DUPLICITOUS WOMAN! WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE A MAN?!"

Which of course is simply the inverse of what feminization has taught Generation AFC for the past 50 years - "WHY CAN'T YOU NEADERTHALS GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR FEMININE SIDES? WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE WOMEN?"

Because we're not.

 

[Phyzzle]

what exactly are you doing that women are not these days?
with the exception of scratching some balls, i don't see where it is any more tough for you .

Filling the prisons, using our turn signals, designing elaborate little board games to simulate war, writing our names in snow with urine, parallel parking . . .

 

[jophil28]

AFCs are still clinging to their own ego investments in their own mythologies. They're still stunting their own maturity and avoiding the responsibility of developing into a healthy acceptance of their own Manhood and positive masculinity.

Whatever this means in the world of pulp psych.

 

[penkitten]

Filling the prisons, using our turn signals, designing elaborate little board games to simulate war, writing our names in snow with urine, parallel parking . . .

ha! i never thought of those things are "responsibilites that one is held accountable for"!
you got me there:crackup:

 

[guru1000]

Women who avoid responsibility do so because they CAN.

A successful man cannot excel without accountability and responsibility. How can a CEO run a company without being accountable for his actions and learning from his mistakes?

Have you ever met a professional woman who managed many on a daily basis. These women are very responsible and accountable because they NEED to be.

If a woman embraces her feminine nature which is to be provided and provisioned for then she is at a great advantage not being accountable. In being inferior physically and financially, manipulation EVENS the playing field.

If you are dealing with a more powerful adversary, your strongest position is to manipulate. And this innate NEED not to be accountable is to GUILT and SHAME the potential complementary partner into her frame.

An AFC who is WEAK in position and status will do the same to excel.

The only difference in who is accountable or not, is in his/her perceived strength or weakness.

 

[STR8UP]

Have you ever met a professional woman who managed many on a daily basis. These women are very responsible and accountable because they NEED to be.

But are they the same way in their personal life?

This is yet another way that "femininity" clashes with "independence".

 

[DJCT]

I wrote this back in 2006: Operative Social Conventions

What's changed since then?

Likewise, numerous people have written about it before you. What changed between when they wrote about it and you wrote about it? Why do you think you are the last word on the subject? I respect and enjoy your writing. Just because Rollo Tomassi addressed it doesn't mean it is a closed subject though.

Women want to avoid responsibility - yeah, and the sky is blue. We need 50+ y.o. SS members to tell us this? Please. All we're doing here is re-examining methods, social conventions and psychologies that are easily observable in behavior, and easily reasoned out if we're only willing to put aside our own investments in the whole game and see them for what they are.

There is nothing earth-shattering or new here on this site. To me, this site is about guys traveling a path of discovery. Many of us are working through things on this path. We are at different stages. This means that we are working through these ideas on our own terms, using our own concepts and perception to move forward. Just reading something written by somebody else doesn't magically transform a person on the inside. You seem like a sharp guy Rollo so I think you know this. We read, we live, we discuss with each other and we live some more. That is one way we can move forward.

For every point you can run down about how women avoid responsibility (accountability really) I can rattle off one about how chumps are doing the same thing. The mistake is in the thinking that a woman ought to live up to your own expectations, or that your own expectations are shared by her or society at large. She oughta do what she says and say what she means - in a perfect world. Unfortunately threads like this are just illustrations of guys half-way through life who are still confounded by this; and rather than predict this behavior, anticipate the results and respond accordingly they'll shake their fists at the world, "DUPLICITOUS WOMAN! WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE A MAN?!"

Which of course is simply the inverse of what feminization has taught Generation AFC for the past 50 years - "WHY CAN'T YOU NEADERTHALS GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR FEMININE SIDES? WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE WOMEN?"

Because we're not.

I assume you are addressing posts made by other people?

In no way am I trying to say women need to act like men or say women are evil or say women are responsible for my problems. I simply want to explore the idea and identify some of the ways women manage to avoid accountability. And again, this isn't a thread about the ways men avoid accountability. If somebody wants to explore that in depth (not a bad idea) they can easily start a new thread.

 

[jophil28]

There is nothing earth-shattering or new here on this site. To me, this site is about guys traveling a path of discovery. Many of us are working through things on this path. We are at different stages. This means that we are working through these ideas on our own terms, using our own concepts and perception to move forward. Just reading something written by somebody else doesn't magically transform a person on the inside. You seem like a sharp guy Rollo so I think you know this. We read, we live, we discuss with each other and we live some more. That is one way we can move forward.

Precisely said.

There is no "last word" on this or any other subject in regard to human behavior. Man's understanding of human behavior is ever changing, and subject to faddish thinking and a high level of personal interpretation.

Certainly, the articles posted here and written by professionals are usually well thought out,compelling and skillfully worded BUT they are NOt definitive. This is NOT science.

This thread, and other threads, are devices which allow posters to contribute to the collective wisdom or at least make a splash in the "thought pool".

I cannot see how dismissively refering posters to a two year old acticle written by one contributor is very helpful. It smacks of smugness and positionalism.

New posts are avenues of exploration and everyone is entitled to speak their mind in reply, or ask questions that they need to ask, even though these same topics may have been covered or debated elsewhere on SS.

One more point - there is NOTHING new under the sun.
What poses as original thought is usually just recycled and re-wrapped previous knowledge.
However few (if any ) new posters have any of this knowledge, and no clue about what to do about their current dilemma .They do not know what we (think ) we know.

THey have not walked in our shoes and may be miles behind us in their journey. Humans will endlessly encounter the same difficulties, and it may be somewhat irritaing when guys post here about problems which have obvious solutions TO US.

The current post about how women avoid responsibility and accountability is important. Women do this habitually and it is a source of endless irritation to men..THAT is a fine reason for this post to develop naturally with as many posters contributing who feel the need to speak.

 

[mrRuckus]

let me give you an example: how many men run away from being fathers?
see! men are known for avoiding responsibilites too.

I don't believe this is a real responsibility.

Plenty of male animals leave their children.

My responsibility is the SURVIVAL of the children or at the least to have lots of children with several women so that some survive by chance. Their happiness is secondary and not my responsibility. Leaving them with the mom they will survive in this tremendously safe society we have built. Anything extra is a gift from me. Anything in addition to that is social custom and i am far from conventional. I don't even give or receive gifts on holidays because holidays are for relaxing rather than stressing out about what to buy people or faking thank yous for sh1t i don't want.

 

[SharpGame]

I think a basic level of accountability has nothing to do with being a man or woman, it's just a sign of maturity. Above that, if women have the tendency to avoid responsibility and accountability, is that neccessarily a bad thing? What are we asking women to responsible for, us? To be our mommies?

Women want us to lead them. I say we do it! You know the phrase "With great power comes great responsibility"? It works the other way too. By accepting responsibility you gain the power that comes with it.

Now if a woman is acting like a child, that's different. She needs to grow up. But if she's avoiding accountability because she's looking to me for guidance, fine. I'll guide her - right into my bed.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Just because Rollo Tomassi addressed it doesn't mean it is a closed subject though.

No, nor would I assume to kill off any critical discussion about it, but in pointing out that I'm not the first to address this topic you only make my point. There's no lack for threads about outlining the rules of the game on SS (Pook beat me to all this long ago, and Dr. Warren Farell predates him), it's pretty well understood, but it's how you address the game, how you develop methods to challenge the Matrix and the beliefs and practices you make your own in order to stay in control of a frame that's at issue.

Long time members here get so upset that everything is just "theory" without any real practice or it's all over-analysis. For all the cries of cynicism and negativity or misogyny when it come to outlining a topic like How Women Avoid Responsibility it's still very easily observable and intelligible. So what? What're you going to do about it?

It's fascinating that the first impression you'd have is that I was trying to gloss myself, but I was actually being self-critical; I point to what I "analyzed" years ago, but maybe the real effort needs to be emphasized on how you are personally dealing with women's avoidance of responsibility and your reasons for doing so? I can cover the rules of basketball and how the game is played - but you still have to go out and play it. You have to develop ways to win within the confines of the game. There are people who'll spend a lifetime trying to change the rules to fit their own abilities - thus making themselves the "experts" - and then there are people who simply learn to play the game well and thrive from it. It's amazing to me that the same people who pop off about a positive mental outlook are usually the ones crying "foul" when someone's not play by the rules they think everyone should be.

So again I'll ask, women are (generally) socially excused from responsibility, what're you gonna do about it? Are you gonna kvetch and moan about how unfair it is, hope they'll have an epiphany of reason and change their ways? Are you going to call them "amoral" when they don't fit into how YOU think they ought to behave and hope they feel shamed into playing to your expectations? Are you going to continue to let them slide (particularly the prettier ones) and reinforce the dynamic if it means you'll get laid for doing so? Or are you going to NEXT them (in spite of your own investments) when they do?

There was no end to the rash of sh!t I caught in analyzing LJBF rejections (yet another way women avoid responsibility) and outlining how a guy ought to counter-reject that LJBF. Yet here we are analyzing broader means of that same responsibility avoidance without so much as a thought to how to change our own behavior in response to what is the most predictable of circumstance. I think it's far healthier to pragmatically prepare ways to forecast and deal with that avoidance than naively expect that women will come to their senses by way of virtue or reason and play how we think is fair. This is how you win within the confines of the rules, and ultimately allows you to define them once you have.

 

[jophil28]

The reasons that men here needed to create, and a post to a thread about the myriad ways that women avoid responsibility and accountability can be rendered down to one simple motivator.
They clearly wanted to discuss it and debate the problem in detail, for THEIR own benefit, in the way that made sense to THEM on a forum which exists to facilitate this kind of discussion..This NEED may have been irritating to you.

Pointing to your previous article/paper which YOU regarded at the last word on the subject was interpreted by some here as your rather smugly saying that no further discussion is neccessary because YOU have written the definitive papaer on the subject. I guess that the reaction that you received indicated that some of us did not agree,

Secondly,and contrary to the PC thinking of the counseling "profession", it is highly desireable to articulate and CONDEMN behavior which is experienced as destructive or counter productive. You might squirm and sneer at that by calling it "the blame game" . Not a game which is popular with a profession which loves the convenient rubbery feel of "relativism" .
Pointing the finger of BLAME is helpful in that it assists in compartmentalizing those behaviors in others which we regard as reprehensible.
WE cannot hope to navigate our way though bad behavior in others until we can see it coming, have a clear understanding of it, and also speak to ourselves and OTHERS about how we feel ABOUT IT.
Only then can we design an effective strategy to deal with it , counter it, or perhaps choose to avoid it entirely.

The thread was valuable in promoting these factors .

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear All,
In a quite remarkable insight on the female rationale Collossus and I repeat his words at the risk of seeming tedious wrote.."Generally speaking, women tend to avoid accepting responsibility for negative outcomes in their life. You had some key examples:
-Playing the "emotionally ruled" card
-Playing the cute and innocent card
-Vague or indirect communication
-Generally playing dumb after a negative event has occured
-Misdirections, projections, ad hominem, or the classic--bringing up something that you did 5 years ago to validate their actions or redirect the argument"Our learned correspondent,Rollo then asks "whats changed "well I have had the quite rare experience,of being in intimate relationships with a variety of Women from Foreign cultures both in their own environment and in the West.The best example,A Chinese Woman in China (No TV,a communist,living in a remote area,no real contact with the West)whilst a vast improvement on her Western Sisters,the Extract from Collossus still fitted her like a made to measure suit,with all their apparent differences,Women from every culture seem to either be born with these characteristics programmed into their DNA,or take it in with their Mothers Milk....I would ask Rollo with all his erudition,Have their been any studies on very young children or blind children to either refute or support my belief?...

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Rollo,
A deliberately separate mail on your question to those over 50,"whats changed?"Well Confuscious Say"Man who pisses against wind will splash his boots"I look around my old mates and ask do we really know any more?at fifty to sixty about half either through sickness or deliberate choice have just given up and are leading celibate lives,some few have resigned themselves to domestic subjugation,one or two have acquiescent spouses who allow a desultory sex life...the odd one or two?are blatently gay...this leaves me and three others,without exception we are all in greater or lesser degree involved with Women from other cultures.D....is a committed dancer,does frequent the company of Western girls,has a half hearted sexual relationship with his Polish Dance Partner but for his Main Courses,he has discrete avuncular relationships with two different younger Women,who he,in kind,pays for regular sex...B... A Croatian builder travels every six months to Thailand where he Holidays for three months while his Son looks after the business,he has a rare old time there and will bring back a lovely young girl on a six month Visa...her ticket home will be dated one day under the six months to circumvent our Property laws,and then he has a couple of months of relative celibacy other than a weekly trip to see The "Girls of the Village"....J is a very wealthy Man,his time is spent on his farm,or at his Queensland Coastal Flat,or cruising the World...He generally has a Woman in Tow,he will pick a young girl on the Internet or Country Newspaper Personals,she will have obvious yearnings to experience the high life...without any personal contact other than charming and enticing Mail he will ask her to be his guest in Queensland,once she tentatively agrees.his Mails become more and more suggestive until he even has them getting tested for STD's,believe it or not some of them even pay their own Air Fair...He reckoned one Young Asian Australian took Six months to reply to his last salacious Mail,then after a conciliatory phone call and a $200.00 bracelet,came to see him like a Lamb to the Slaughter...So Rollo the Plain truth is that those who have a choice and an active libido (DJers),avoid mainstream Western Women like the Plague,so you are asking the wrong people...

 

[Plinco]

bump

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Men should lead. That's part of being masculine. Mind boggling people want to try and argue that men should be more feminine when that's the exact reason the world is going to hell in a handbag with male-female dynamics.

That's where ever increasing declining testosterone levels over the last 60 years get you...guys who want to try and convince other guys they should play the feminine role.

SMFH. And this dude is talking about women trying to avoid responsibility? Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black.