Want my ex gf back.

[daproest1]

You claim ur Ex still can't get over you and acting full retard ?

She's okay and doing extremely well so much so that she even dismissed you right in front of a bouncer in public !

She fvcking shamed you just like a fvcktard deserves.

Who's the retard now?

She knows the type of man u r and so do we now. Its so obvious.

Now don't ever come back here talking abt that Ex until you're read the entire DJ Bible.

And then post updates on how you made an actionable plan on self improvement.

i felt nothing. Just turned around and left. And I did read the entire Fvcking bible. I shouldn’t have gone. It was stupid. I wasn’t even there for her. I was hoping she was off that night. She only works there twice a week. I did NOT want to see her. But I figured if I did, and I was with a group of people, it would throw her off. Since I was always usually by myself. Found out when I was already pulling up that she was there when my boy texted me telling me so. But he also said that he told her I was going and that he told her that he didn’t know we split. I should have turned around and left once I knew the group had already gone in. Thing is, I only knew 2 out of the 7 dudes that went. So the majority weren’t gonna wait for me.

I mean fvck it’s been 6 months. There was no need for that. She’s just being bitter and spiteful. Not sure why. Never did anything to her. If she’s over me, why would she care if I went in to watch a fight on TV surrounded by friends and strippers?

I work at clubs too from time to time.... I wouldn’t give a fvck if she came in.... AND I’m NOT over her. It’s just the civil thing to do. I wouldn’t care if she came in and danced with 10 men. We’re not together. Would it bug me? Meh... maybe a little. I’d be too busy slinging drinks to notice anyway and it’s dark. She’s a child. Am I an idiot for going? Sure. But she’s a child bro.

I’ve had STRs where we break up and I’ll see them a month, a year, a few years, any period of time later and everything’s fine and civil. One of my current plates is actually an old fling. She isn’t mad at me. Didn’t bring up the past. Nothing.

Anyway as far as my self improvement plan, it’s already in motion. Business is back up to where it was. Trying a few new ideas to make it surpass that. I took up jujitsu. Lifts stayed around the same (only so much the human body is capable of after 15 years of consistently lifting weights). New place. New girls (not crazy about any of them though, just numb). New books. Stock Portfolio grew. Anything else I should be changing @Spaz ? Want me to buy a tiger, a mansion, and a rocket launcher? Cuz those, I can’t afford yet.

 

[Spaz]

i felt nothing. Just turned around and left. And I did read the entire Fvcking bible. I shouldn’t have gone. It was stupid. I wasn’t even there for her. I was hoping she was off that night. She only works there twice a week. I did NOT want to see her. But I figured if I did, and I was with a group of people, it would throw her off. Since I was always usually by myself. Found out when I was already pulling up that she was there when my boy texted me telling me so. But he also said that he told her I was going and that he told her that he didn’t know we split. I should have turned around and left once I knew the group had already gone in. Thing is, I only knew 2 out of the 7 dudes that went. So the majority weren’t gonna wait for me.

I mean fvck it’s been 6 months. There was no need for that. She’s just being bitter and spiteful. Not sure why. Never did anything to her. If she’s over me, why would she care if I went in to watch a fight on TV surrounded by friends and strippers?

I work at clubs too from time to time.... I wouldn’t give a fvck if she came in.... AND I’m NOT over her. It’s just the civil thing to do. I wouldn’t care if she came in and danced with 10 men. We’re not together. Would it bug me? Meh... maybe a little. I’d be too busy slinging drinks to notice anyway and it’s dark. She’s a child. Am I an idiot for going? Sure. But she’s a child bro.

I’ve had STRs where we break up and I’ll see them a month, a year, a few years, any period of time later and everything’s fine and civil. One of my current plates is actually an old fling. She isn’t mad at me. Didn’t bring up the past. Nothing.

Anyway as far as my self improvement plan, it’s already in motion. Business is back up to where it was. Trying a few new ideas to make it surpass that. I took up jujitsu. Lifts stayed around the same (only so much the human body is capable of after 15 years of consistently lifting weights). New place. New girls (not crazy about any of them though, just numb). New books. Stock Portfolio grew. Anything else I should be changing @Spaz ? Want me to buy a tiger, a mansion, and a rocket launcher? Cuz those, I can’t afford yet.

She's not a child since she not only dismissed you but she also blocked your number and a couple of things to keep you away.

Seems you enjoy being dismissed and going back for more.

As for the improvements?

Yes but none of above and it's one I keep mentioning.

"Grow a pair of balls" and "dismiss her".

If my buddy just broke up, I ain't going expose him when he's still raw and hurting. You would do the same too.

I will undoubtedly do my best to convince the rest to head off to another location. And so would you too.

That's the decent thing to do for a buddy and we all could have had a good laugh over beers and cute asses that we not only dismissed her but the whole establishment as well.

 

[daproest1]

She's not a child since she not only dismissed you but she also blocked your number and a couple of things to keep you away.

Seems you enjoy being dismissed and going back for more.

As for the improvements?

Yes but none of above and it's one I keep mentioning.

"Grow a pair of balls" and "dismiss her".

If my buddy just broke up, I ain't going expose him when he's still raw and hurting. You would do the same too.

I will undoubtedly do my best to convince the rest to head off to another location. And so would you too.

That's the decent thing to do for a buddy and we all could have had a good laugh over beers and cute asses that we not only dismissed her but the whole establishment as well.

The thing about u said at the end is a very good point.

The phone blocking thing was childish too. It wasn’t like.... omg he’s bothering me so much let me block him. It was ONE text message after more than a week of silence. And again, for the 50th time, I did not know what was going on (I didn’t know we were broken up) and I was not being myself at athat moment (6 months ago).

As far as dismissing her... I’m more than willing. Specially now since that was uncalled for. She knows better. She IS a child. I’m actually glad I went now. Got to see a side of her I never knew existed. Kind of hate the girl now. Which is great.

When u say “dismiss her” I’m assuming you mean in my mind? Or u want me to tell her to go fvck herself? Because I’ll be more than happy to do the latter at this point.

 

[Spaz]

The thing about u said at the end is a very good point.

The phone blocking thing was childish too. It wasn’t like.... omg he’s bothering me so much let me block him. It was ONE text message after more than a week of silence. And again, for the 50th time, I did not know what was going on (I didn’t know we were broken up) and I was not being myself at athat moment (6 months ago).

As far as dismissing her... I’m more than willing. Specially now since that was uncalled for. She knows better. She IS a child. I’m actually glad I went now. Got to see a side of her I never knew existed. Kind of hate the girl now. Which is great.

When u say “dismiss her” I’m assuming you mean in my mind? Or u want me to tell her to go fvck herself? Because I’ll be more than happy to do the latter at this point.

Dismiss her from ur mind.

And when she reemerges in ur mind again on one of ur weak moments, dismiss her shadow with corrosively sarcastic humor that I've handed you in this thread.

Does this make me a bad person?

Of course it does !

 

[Casanova00]

Alright so this is a bit of a taboo topic around the SS forums, but there has to be a way to pull it off.

I want my ex back. Yeah yeah, I know my energy is better spent elsewhere. Attracting new women, etc. But this was supposed to be my wife and I can’t shake this feeling.

Spaz already gave me some good advice. Mostly to just improve myself and wait it out. Which I’m working on currently.

Background info:
-we were together (no break ups) for almost 6 years

-I maintained frame the entire time

-I’m now 31 she’s now 27. I taught her everything she knows.

-I was focused too much on my business and took her for granted for too long.

-I don’t want kids, she doesn’t either

-did a lot of AFC **** post break up. Pleaded, asked for another chance. Wrote a letter. Spoke to her parents, etc. Yes I know I should be slapped. I was devastated and not in my right mind at the time.

-I’m blocked on her phone (no I didn’t go psycho on her. I didn’t blow her phone up or anything like that. I think she did this as a coping mechanism).

-she’s a 10 physically. Not materialistic. Always supportive. Her own career. Great girl. The list goes on. Everything I’ve ever wanted in a girl. She actually helped me build my business up. I was a bartender at nightclubs when we met.

-she wanted marriage. I’d always tip toe or argue my way around the subject. Just due to immaturity on my part. Didn’t realize how old we were getting.

-friends and family got in her ear unbeknownst to me.

-we don’t share the same social circles. The only ins I have are her mom, dad, and one friend. Or showing up at one of her jobs (which I have not done, nor do I think I should do).

-it has been 5 months since the break up. Last contact was 2 months ago in late February and early March.

-I treated her like **** for a while. Mostly neglect. NOT abuse or anything like that. I didn’t mean to be the way that I was, I was just under a lot of stress.

-this is the girl I want to spend my life with.

-my expectations of her were too high. Now that I’ve come across Rollo’s work I can see what happened. I expected something that women aren’t capable of giving.

If there’s any expert at all that could help me with this, I’d appreciate it. Again, i got some pretty good advice from Spaz but it was mostly just to read the entire DJ bible (which I did), and to just make my life awesome and wait for her.

She’s never been single for very long. She’s gorgeous. I was her 4th. Met her when she was 21.

Any help would be greatly appreciated. I’ve solved a lot of problems that seemed impossible to overcome in my life before, but this is by far the most complex since the variable here is another human being.

-Al

Go buy shogun method by derek rake the contents would enlighten you more

 

[daproest1]

Go buy shogun method by derek rake the contents would enlighten you more

Any personal experience with this?

 

[daproest1]

I guess you know how much space you should give her in your head now......and how much time and effort you should spend mourning that relationship.


Z E R O


Now you have your answer, move on.

Dismiss her from ur mind.

And when she reemerges in ur mind again on one of ur weak moments, dismiss her shadow with corrosively sarcastic humor that I've handed you in this thread.

Does this make me a bad person?

Of course it does !

I don’t think it does. They can be cruel. I guess we have to be too.

 

[Spaz]

I don’t think it does. They can be cruel. I guess we have to be too.

Have standards, be above par.

If a woman doesn't meet them then dismiss her and move on.

 

[daproest1]

Have standards, be above par.

If a woman doesn't meet them then dismiss her and move on.

She met them. Every single standard I’ve ever set. Hence why I chose a monogamous situation with her specifically in the first place.

In her mind, it’s all my fault. No way to get her out of that mindstate it seems. This isn’t the classic case of a beta guy putting his woman at the center of his world. It was the complete opposite extreme. Then... Brefaurts law right? It reversed when she left and I lost my shyt. That’s where I went wrong. Should’ve just kept the dynamic I always had going.

 

[Spaz]

She met them. Every single standard I’ve ever set. Hence why I chose a monogamous situation with her specifically in the first place.

In her mind, it’s all my fault. No way to get her out of that mindstate it seems. This isn’t the classic case of a beta guy putting his woman at the center of his world. It was the complete opposite extreme. Then... Brefaurts law right? It reversed when she left and I lost my shyt. That’s where I went wrong. Should’ve just kept the dynamic I always had going.

Why is the focus on the woman?

Even bums have standards, dress like a bum, act like a bum, be lazy like a bum, awkward like a bum etc....the list is long for just being a mere bum.

The focus is you.

People are attracted to men with high standards.

Hint : Men with high standards is also highly dismissive.

 

[lizardking82]

she wanted marriage. I’d always tip toe or argue my way around the subject. Just due to immaturity on my part. Didn’t realize how old we were getting.

She wanted marriage, you tip toed cause you didn't want it at that time. Nothing wrong with that, you don't have to justify your feelings to anyone. Just express it clearly that you are not into that right now and if she keeps pushing for it, than you know she's manipulative. Women want marriage like they want chocolate and then they don't want it anymore once they get it. Their wants are ever changing and fluctuating. It is your duty as a man to guide her into what she wants at the right time. Marriage is for her folks and for her own security, nothing else. If you work as a couple, you could keep working as a couple for the next 40 years if you wanted to, marriage doesn't help it, in fact, there is a good chance it will fack everything up.

-friends and family got in her ear unbeknownst to me.

If that happened, you're dealing with a weak woman who doesn't trust her man. Not good. Plus it's typical sheep-ish behaviour from women, they follow the crowd, the family, the state, the men of the family LOL

I treated her like **** for a while. Mostly neglect. NOT abuse or anything like that. I didn’t mean to be the way that I was, I was just under a lot of stress.

Most important thing in all this conversation is that she seems to be a typical woman in handling temporary neglect and lack of attention from her partner and that is leaving or breaking up and acting up. I am telling you straight up: she's not a mature woman. If she was mature, she'd sit you down and tell you in your face that she feels neglected. She would talk about it. That's what grown ups do, they talk about things and try to find a solution. Children living in grown up bodies yell and scream or they leave and try to get attention like that.

===================================================================================

I do not advise following this woman even though I understand you've invested years into the relationship and have built plans and expectations with it. DO NOT let that cloud your judgement. See things for what they are. Do not come here with the "I know this is facked up, but I want you guys to tell me how to fack this up further". I won't do that, sane members in the forum won't do that either. This woman left at the first sign of neglect. I wouldn't trust her one bit for the way she acted and how badly she handled this whole thing. People sometimes get caught up in life, you were not partying and having fun, you were working for yourself and possibly for a future family with her. If she didn't get that...she never will. At this point she seems like a selfish person who thought her feelings are the most important thing and god forbid she didn't get her dose of attention...she will sabotage the whole thing and leave.

Stay away from this one. Stop deluding yourself thinking this is some kind of unicorn or the woman you were meant to be with. This is all normal feelings that surface when someone leaves the relationship first. They make you wanna crave what you can't have. Of course you're desperate, she was part of your life for 6 years, she's now part of your self image, of your subconscious, that **** is hard to handle, how do you tell yourself she's gone after being used to her for 6 years. Guess what? Everything feels like this. Try having a laptop for 5 years and then getting a new one, it will be a bit tough to learn your way around the new reality.

 

[lizardking82]

She did “need me”. Until she didn’t.

She did “need me” until she didn’t. She’d vent to her dumb ass friends (all of whom were new-ish, they met much after me and her for together). And her mom was drilling marriage into her brain. She was basically brain washed and I didn’t help by being a distant **** BF. Idk man, there has to be a way. This girl worshipped the ground I walked on for years. That’s why I say I maintained frame. Guess I lost done toward the end without realizing it. There just HAS to be a way. I’ve been with 4 girls since the split. 3 I’ve kept around. It’s fun and all.... But it’s not the same. With her, I was fine just having HER. U know that girl u create in your mind when you’re a little kid? That “dream girl”? She was that for me.

There is no way, buddy. We're going to tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. She was a lost cause anyways, her family will always have more influence over her than you ever will and her decision now is a clear indication of that. Nothing would have changed had you been a "better boyfriend" and stayed closer to her. She would've dumped you anyways. Your replacement is somewhere out there, she has either picked him and will make the move soon or he's already in the picture. Move on, let her go. It's what you need to do.

 

[daproest1]

Why is the focus on the woman?

Even bums have standards, dress like a bum, act like a bum, be lazy like a bum, awkward like a bum etc....the list is long for just being a mere bum.

The focus is you.

People are attracted to men with high standards.

Hint : Men with high standards is also highly dismissive.

Focus is on her NOW cuz I “lost” her. Wasn’t before. Focus was always on me. Which was Part of the problem. I was extremely dismissive. She felt like she wasn’t being heard at all. I just have low tolerance for unnecessary drama. So I’d just roll my eyes and call her dramatic.

She wanted marriage, you tip toed cause you didn't want it at that time. Nothing wrong with that, you don't have to justify your feelings to anyone. Just express it clearly that you are not into that right now and if she keeps pushing for it, than you know she's manipulative. Women want marriage like they want chocolate and then they don't want it anymore once they get it. Their wants are ever changing and fluctuating. It is your duty as a man to guide her into what she wants at the right time. Marriage is for her folks and for her own security, nothing else. If you work as a couple, you could keep working as a couple for the next 40 years if you wanted to, marriage doesn't help it, in fact, there is a good chance it will fack everything up.



If that happened, you're dealing with a weak woman who doesn't trust her man. Not good. Plus it's typical sheep-ish behaviour from women, they follow the crowd, the family, the state, the men of the family LOL



Most important thing in all this conversation is that she seems to be a typical woman in handling temporary neglect and lack of attention from her partner and that is leaving or breaking up and acting up. I am telling you straight up: she's not a mature woman. If she was mature, she'd sit you down and tell you in your face that she feels neglected. She would talk about it. That's what grown ups do, they talk about things and try to find a solution. Children living in grown up bodies yell and scream or they leave and try to get attention like that.

===================================================================================

I do not advise following this woman even though I understand you've invested years into the relationship and have built plans and expectations with it. DO NOT let that cloud your judgement. See things for what they are. Do not come here with the "I know this is facked up, but I want you guys to tell me how to fack this up further". I won't do that, sane members in the forum won't do that either. This woman left at the first sign of neglect. I wouldn't trust her one bit for the way she acted and how badly she handled this whole thing. People sometimes get caught up in life, you were not partying and having fun, you were working for yourself and possibly for a future family with her. If she didn't get that...she never will. At this point she seems like a selfish person who thought her feelings are the most important thing and god forbid she didn't get her dose of attention...she will sabotage the whole thing and leave.

Stay away from this one. Stop deluding yourself thinking this is some kind of unicorn or the woman you were meant to be with. This is all normal feelings that surface when someone leaves the relationship first. They make you wanna crave what you can't have. Of course you're desperate, she was part of your life for 6 years, she's now part of your self image, of your subconscious, that **** is hard to handle, how do you tell yourself she's gone after being used to her for 6 years. Guess what? Everything feels like this. Try having a laptop for 5 years and then getting a new one, it will be a bit tough to learn your way around the new reality.

The neglect went on for a while :/

I agree with u about everything else though. She IS immature. And it’s not that I didn’t want marriage.... I just... idk. I wasn’t in a rush. I didn’t realize so much time was going by. Didn’t see it as that important at the moment. I don’t have many examples of married couples in my life.

It wasn’t just marriage either. A lot of miscommunication, she was mad that I didn’t go see her this ONE time when she was sick at home (although I always took her to every single doctors appointment, gyno, allergist, and took care of her for a month and a half after her boob job) because I thought it was a cold and didn’t wanna catch it. Yeah I know. D*ck move. Turns out she was septic. I didn’t know it at the time. She FaceTimed me being silly and dancing in front of a mirror that day while being “sick”. She seemed fine to me.

I was going to go and she kept telling me “no honey don’t leave me just stay on the phone with me” cuz she knows when I leave the house I get off the phone. It’s a weird thing I have.

It was a bunch of stupid shyt that could all be worked thru. And me talking to her parents in my then state of temporary insanity, only made matters worse now looking back.

I know there are ways I re-attract ex gfs. But at this point, after everything you guys have told me, and after my experience the other night, i don’t think I should even try. If she only remembers the bad, and remembers none of the good, then there’s no point.

It’s More than being “used to her for 6 years”. She was literally everything I’ve ever wanted. If I put up pics right now of some of the girls I’ve had, you guys would be like “wow”. But there was ALWAYS something off about em. Either something I didn’t like physically, or them being too masculine/testy and me constantly having to make them submit, etc. There was always something. Not with her. She submitted and followed my lead since day 1.

Hard to find in this day and age. Specially from a 10.

 

[daproest1]

There is no way, buddy. We're going to tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. She was a lost cause anyways, her family will always have more influence over her than you ever will and her decision now is a clear indication of that. Nothing would have changed had you been a "better boyfriend" and stayed closer to her. She would've dumped you anyways. Your replacement is somewhere out there, she has either picked him and will make the move soon or he's already in the picture. Move on, let her go. It's what you need to do.

Her family liked me. Until they saw she was unhappy. And she’s a master of making herself the victim in all of her stories. She did it with me regarding her own family. She’d come to me for everything. Not her family. Until the end. Her family actually pulled my mom to the side once at her nursing school graduation and told her “we don’t know how he puts up with her. Your son is a saint” my mom laughed it off.

In my mind I remember thinking “put up with her? I don’t put up with shyt. She’s not difficult with me. She’s difficult with them I guess”.

 

[lizardking82]

I understand. I feel you. You want a mature woman by your side. You did (I guess) your best to teach her your ways and most of them she got, but she was probably victim-mentality and immature before she met you, those things hardly change. Be thankful that you did not marry this girl, otherwise other things would have been involved.

You didn't wanna marry her cause your gut feeling saw some things that were off. Always trust your gut feeling. Never do what you're "supposed to". If something feels off, it probably is. Stick to your guns. She will eventually come around, I hope at that point she gets served the divine justice of you not wanting her anyways at that point.

 

[daproest1]

I understand. I feel you. You want a mature woman by your side. You did (I guess) your best to teach her your ways and most of them she got, but she was probably victim-mentality and immature before she met you, those things hardly change. Be thankful that you did not marry this girl, otherwise other things would have been involved.

You didn't wanna marry her cause your gut feeling saw some things that were off. Always trust your gut feeling. Never do what you're "supposed to". If something feels off, it probably is. Stick to your guns. She will eventually come around, I hope at that point she gets served the divine justice of you not wanting her anyways at that point.

Man..... that divine justice would be sweeter than my Sunday night cheat meals. What do u mean by stand your ground? Just stay gone basically? And what makes u so certain that she’s eventually come around eventually? After my “AFC hyper chase beta mode” (a póster here said that phrase to me and I almost shat my pants from laughing) it doesn’t seem likely.

 

[lizardking82]

Man..... that divine justice would be sweeter than my Sunday night cheat meals. What do u mean by stand your ground? Just stay gone basically? And what makes u so certain that she’s eventually come around eventually? After my “AFC hyper chase beta mode” (a póster here said that phrase to me and I almost shat my pants from laughing) it doesn’t seem likely.

I mean establish a ground first. Right now there is an "earthquake" situation of your emotions. You're unstable. This woman felt neglected and felt like you had the upper hand emotionally so what she did is she caused an "earthquake" by completely removing herself from your life in a desperate, childish attempt to regain back emotional control (or at least that's how she feels, she's as unstable as a leaf in reality). You reinforced this with your whining and crying, whatever, that's fine, a lot of guys here have made those attempts.

You asked us, we answered. I am talking to you about this like I would talk to my own brother. I am explaining everything. I am laying it down for you. If you wanna listen or not, reason with me or not, that's your part. I am doing mine.

This woman is manipulative. She has checked out of the relationship a while ago and now she made her "strike". She caught you off guard. That's not what a good, mature and supportive partner does. That's what a selfish, immature and childish partner does. A good partner has your back, she doesn't hit you when and how you least expect it.

Whether she comes around eventually is something none knows and it doesn't matter anyways. Right now, you handle the pain like a man. Understand that it's normal to feel desperate, sad, lonely, down, even in slight depression when your partner of 6 years leaves. Embrace these feelings. Do not fight them. You feel like crying? Cry. You feel like yelling and punching sh1t? Do that. Go to the gym, work out hard. Go out with your buddies. And then when you come back home after this, understand that you will again feel like sh1t for crying.

What I am telling you doesn't feel nice. It's not easy. You wanna go back to the ex-reality where you have a warm vagina, a submissive girl and emotional security. Well, guess what, my boy? It's not happening. This is a hard time in your life. If you use it right, your next partner is going to be even better (that I can promise you). So use it right. Flush your feelings out on this thread. You got guys here willing to talk to you. Just, for your own sake at first (I care about that more than anything else), don't go back to her. Not because I say so or because I or some other member of the forum are butthurt and don't want you to be happy, but understand that she has made it clear through HER ACTIONS that she does not wanna talk to you. She left not wanting to talk, blocked your number and is not reaching out. If that's not a clear message...I don't know what is.

Be strong and learn to embrace feeling vulnerable in life sometimes. It's what makes you a man.

 

[daproest1]

Daproest - what do YOU think will make her come back?

After you have seen this fukkking ****ty behavior - do you WANT her back?

Ok let me answer the second question first. After seeing this ****ty behavior I DONT want her back. It’s only when I dwell on MY OWN ****ty behavior (that I can honestly say she did NOT deserve) that I consider it..... fair....ish.

As far as what I think would bring her back, if she would just hang out with me, in my house for like an hour or 2, my own way of being would make her fall right back in. She herself admitted that was part of the reason she was avoiding me first. She knew that if she just came to see me, her emotions would take over her logic.

And logically, in her mind, it goes a little like this:

He’s not gonna change. He doesn’t wanna marry me. He’s negative. He’s always annoyed by me no matter what I do... and he doesn’t wanna spend time with me.

Little does she know that this break up was needed for me to wake up a bit. I was in a fog. We all have those periods in life where we fall into a funk. I was in a funk for a year or 2. And my rational logical brain can explain it all. But her female emotional brain, cannot. She just “wasn’t happy”. Nobody can make another “happy”. Happiness comes from within. I was not happy. Had nothing to do with her though. Then again I’m never happy. I’m like a grumpy old dude. In a funny way. Always have been. But it got worse due to certain circumstances.

Intuitively I know every couple is gonna have ups and downs. U can’t just give up. But my generation (fvckin millennials) give up right away. And where I live it’s worse. Miami FL.

 

[daproest1]

I mean establish a ground first. Right now there is an "earthquake" situation of your emotions. You're unstable. This woman felt neglected and felt like you had the upper hand emotionally so what she did is she caused an "earthquake" by completely removing herself from your life in a desperate, childish attempt to regain back emotional control (or at least that's how she feels, she's as unstable as a leaf in reality). You reinforced this with your whining and crying, whatever, that's fine, a lot of guys here have made those attempts.

You asked us, we answered. I am talking to you about this like I would talk to my own brother. I am explaining everything. I am laying it down for you. If you wanna listen or not, reason with me or not, that's your part. I am doing mine.

This woman is manipulative. She has checked out of the relationship a while ago and now she made her "strike". She caught you off guard. That's not what a good, mature and supportive partner does. That's what a selfish, immature and childish partner does. A good partner has your back, she doesn't hit you when and how you least expect it.

Whether she comes around eventually is something none knows and it doesn't matter anyways. Right now, you handle the pain like a man. Understand that it's normal to feel desperate, sad, lonely, down, even in slight depression when your partner of 6 years leaves. Embrace these feelings. Do not fight them. You feel like crying? Cry. You feel like yelling and punching sh1t? Do that. Go to the gym, work out hard. Go out with your buddies. And then when you come back home after this, understand that you will again feel like sh1t for crying.

What I am telling you doesn't feel nice. It's not easy. You wanna go back to the ex-reality where you have a warm vagina, a submissive girl and emotional security. Well, guess what, my boy? It's not happening. This is a hard time in your life. If you use it right, your next partner is going to be even better (that I can promise you). So use it right. Flush your feelings out on this thread. You got guys here willing to talk to you. Just, for your own sake at first (I care about that more than anything else), don't go back to her. Not because I say so or because I or some other member of the forum are butthurt and don't want you to be happy, but understand that she has made it clear through HER ACTIONS that she does not wanna talk to you. She left not wanting to talk, blocked your number and is not reaching out. If that's not a clear message...I don't know what is.

Be strong and learn to embrace feeling vulnerable in life sometimes. It's what makes you a man.

I appreciate you. You’re right.

She has reached out... a few times... but only after I do something. Her actions contradict her other actions and words. That’s the trippy part. She IS unstable.

She doesn’t wanna talk to me, but when she has reached out, she won’t hang up on me or tell me to go f myself. She just stays on the phone and gives me shyt tests or just listens to what I have to say quietly.

Fck a warm vagina. It’s not about that. Those are abundant. But yeah I guess I’m fvcked.

 

[lizardking82]

I appreciate you. You’re right.

She has reached out... a few times... but only after I do something. Her actions contradict her other actions and words. That’s the trippy part. She IS unstable.

She doesn’t wanna talk to me, but when she has reached out, she won’t hang up on me or tell me to go f myself. She just stays on the phone and gives me shyt tests or just listens to what I have to say quietly.

Fck a warm vagina. It’s not about that. Those are abundant. But yeah I guess I’m fvcked.

Don't do anything. Let the situation unfold. Tell us what she's doing while you are not doing anything at all. And don't dwell on this ****. Have a positive take on it. She seems like a supergirl to you because you know her for 6 years, she;s just a girl. Common man, go out do some man sh1t. I don't know, take care of your fence or sth. Think about her while fixing the fence or walking the dog or something like that. Get sad, then laugh about it ironically. Embrace the brake up. You gotta master handling break ups, it's a key feature of human life. People come and go all the time especially nowadays in this very fluent and insecure world we live in.

Chaos is a ladder.