URGENT: help word this ultimatum

[Ar7]

This HB9 gave me her number about a week ago. She seemed interested enough, as my DJness did shine that day, and she was definately digging it.

So far I have called her twice to set up a date and both time she says she is busy and won't offer a counter. Instead she says "call me tomorrow and we ll see".

It's time to give her an ultimatum and if she bites good, if not then gonna Next her Azz.

I need you guys to help me word my ultimatum.


Beginning of ULTIMATUM:

Hay listen..
I would definately like to see you again sometime. We could meet up for few drinks. Get to know each other and have a bit of a fun.
However if you are unsure or busy, forget it. I have few other things to attend to and I really cannot afford to sit here and wait for you to make up your mind.

So either you make up your mind or its adios.


End of ULTIMATUM:



So anyone can help me word this better?

Thanx guys..

 

[Bonhomme]

If you care to bother ...

So far I have called her twice to set up a date and both time she says she is busy and won't offer a counter. Instead she says "call me tomorrow and we ll see".

This is not a high-interest gal.

The qoute at the bottm of your post says "time's a wastin'." With this gal, that's for damn sure. Don't waste much more time on her.

Call her a day or 2 after she asked you to call, and say: "sorry for not calling, but I've got other things going on, and don't want to get together at this time... call me later."

That's it. Don't waste your energy on this lost cause, unless she straightens her act out.

 

[MisterAl]

Right, forget the ultimatum idea. An ultimatum here would imply that she perceives that she has something to lose if she doesn't act now on your ultimatum conditions ("I have high IL in you.").

The reality here is that her IL is rock bottom and you've let her decline without a counter-offer _twice_. You haven't met her for a date yet and haven't lost a dime on her. Forget her and find someone else.

 

[intel200]

I totally agree. Letting a hot prospect get away sucks, but it happens. Let this chic slide.

Seems you should be just as busy as she, if not more busy...

 

[dontmindme]

How about this as an ultimatum:

Sorry to be calling you for the 3rd time, but I have a terminal illness, cancer, and my doctor says I have only a month to live. All my life I've never dated women, but when I saw you, I knew I wanted to have just one date with you before I die. I never asked for too much in life, I've always been a simple man with simple dreams. But the past few days I've been in a great deal of pain, but just thinking of you eases the throbbing hurt. So I beg you, won't you have a date with me?

 

[Quick]

Originally posted by MisterAl
Right, forget the ultimatum idea. An ultimatum here would imply that she perceives that she has something to lose if she doesn't act now on your ultimatum conditions ("I have high IL in you.").

The reality here is that her IL is rock bottom and you've let her decline without a counter-offer _twice_. You haven't met her for a date yet and haven't lost a dime on her. Forget her and find someone else.

Great summing up of why an ultimatum is useless. She has nothing to lose because she doesn't care, and she doesn't owe you anything. Your ultimatum will make you look like a chump and kill off the rest of the low interest she had in you.

Don't call her for a while (if ever), and don't ask her for any more dates. There's noting you can actively do to turn her interest around, and any attempt will accomplish the opposite.

 

[Ar7]

Well at least this post made it through before being subjected to too many wanabee paper DJ's. (Downfall of this site being so popular)

Yes times a wasting, and Nexting so quick without any effort at all is another time wasted.

Look I have Nexted about half a dozen gals the past weeks. All had showed some interest level at some point. But nevertheless for the sake of playing by the rules I have Nexted each one of them. I am beginning to think guys here are too quick to NEXT a decent gal. And I am beginning to see drawbacks of Nexting too soon.

Unless you are beating a dead horse this Nexting thing needs to be toned down and a bit of patience and effort needs to be added to the mix. No it does not make you a DJ just because you can next a gal faster than the other guy. As long as there is potential (she showed genuine interest in you at some point), it only pays to give it a decent effort. Once again Nexting does not make a good DJ, being able to spark that potential without looking like a chump and thus minimizing your Nexting frequency makes a more successful DJ.

Also I now see the Ultimatum was chumpish and a bad idea, so I ll scrap that Idea. Thanks for that one guys, its hard to see what you are doing at times unless someone tells ya the way it is. *Thumbs up* to the fellow DJ's who replied sensibly, as it is its hard to get a sensible answer form sensible DJs these days. More the reason why I don't participate on these boards much any more. I have a feeling this is why most of the older DJ's left the fourm.


I might go with Bonhomme approach on this one.

 

[Slickster]

Plain and Simple.

This chick isn't interested in you. She may have been when she gave you her number but maybe not as much as you think. Regardless that interest is gone. Hence no counter offer to your request for a get together.

You have two choices.

1. Try and increase her interest on the phone. Tough to do but lay on the charisma and see what happens.

2. Run into her again and build interest that way. This time try for an Instant Date or make sure you've built some attraction before you let her get away.

Either way you have your work cut out for you.

No use banging your head on the wall if she's not giving you anything in return.

 

[Ar7]

Well said Slickster, now that is the kind of response I was looking for.

 

[Walden]

Yeah man bust for the instant date. Or else neeeeeeeeeeeeeeext!

 

[Bonhomme]

Whatever you do ... don't try too hard

Don't try too hard to be clever if you contact her. If you can bust her on a little thing, that's cool. For example, this gal I know seemed to be really into me at first, but her interest dropped a bit after first contact, like the gal in your post. But I noticed she had the habit of greeting people with a certain expression, which I playfully parodied when I got a hold of her. That got the juices flowing again, and now she suggested a get-together. I'll probably call her later today, since we last spoke on Friday, and she was out of town for the weekend.

Slickster's idea is also good. Lay back, and see what happens when you run into her again. I recently had a good date with a gal that had blown be off before. Other gals who avoided me like the plague in my chump days are now quite flirty with me.

Sometimes it's best just to move some of 'em to the back burner. Way, way back. But you're right, Ar7, about a bit of confident persistence. If there was a spark, and you didn't totally wash it out with a flood of AFC behavior, it can be re-ignited, especially if you've improved in the meantime, which we all have, right?

 

[NewMan]

My view...

My thoughts on this.

So far I have called her twice to set up a date and both time she says she is busy and won't offer a counter. Instead she says "call me tomorrow and we ll see".

Don't you see what this chick did to you? she raised YOUR interest level by being a challenge to you. She played you at your game....

Now this is what I believe you should have done.

The FIRST time you called her, you should not have called her back for at least a week - then if you know where she hangs out, you should have "Bumped into her" - now by doing this, you have told her that your not like every other chump out there (calling back the next day when she tells you) your different. This second time you bump into her, you can then use your DJ skills face to face - it's harder on the phone.

Is it all lost? Nope.

I'd NOT call her back, not give her an ultimatum. Leave it a week and then "Bump into her" if it's possible. Otherwise, call her back in a week and say something like:

"So xxxxx, I was going to ask you out again, but was thinking that you would probably blow me off again - but just in case you really do want to meet up, I thought I'd give it one last shot"

Something like that - because, you've established that your not like any other chump by calling her immediately (you've waited at least a week) - and second, you just told her that this is her last chance to go out with you - but you've done it with style.


Good look.

 

[madgame]

If I was in that situation I would definetly play the LJBF-card. I havent tried it yet, but I think its right that that chick got low interest level and is just playin her games with u...in other words shes an attention *****...but if u tell her that u think the two of u should just be friends or something like that she might think "wtf...y isnt he chasin me like he should??"

 

[Crotch Sniffer]

You could always go pimp style on her. Just call and be like:

"Yo b!tch. Go put on some fancy clothes cos we's goin out tonight!"

Simple, direct and so crazy, it just might work!