update to my ltr post.. we broke up

Romjuan

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 21, 2009
Messages
199
Reaction score
13
Location
california
my post was the one with attitude and sex 2 times a week. so couple days later i initiated the break up but it really was mutual. we both loved each other but both have issues with each other that would not work in the long run. next step is moving out. i was payoing rent at the house she owns. im moving out sunday.

my question is do any of u have advice for moving forward? im a little sad but i know it really hasnt sit in yet. we get along great and had a good break up(if thats possible). im sure we will see each other in the bars or hook up still. any advice on how to handle things? is it ok to hav sex still?
 

DavenJuan

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 22, 2003
Messages
792
Reaction score
32
Location
mistake by the lake
the hard part is to walk away. you have already did this, congrats brother.

to answer your question. I personally DO NOT think its okay to have sex still. atleast not for an extended period of time. its sooo easy to fall back into the same horrible cycle you just left. Plus, if things didnt work out the first time, why burden yourself?

"Moving forward" means exactly that. dont look back. find new things to venture, new people to meet. It can be tough from time to time considering you guys were a live-in LTR. my suggestion if things seem to get tough, is to sorround yourself around friends. try and AVOID places that you will see her at.

and lastly, DO NOT ATTEMPT TO MAKE HER JEALOUS, by showing up places that you will know she will be. or calling her, texting her, etc. focus on yourself and you will be just fine.

good luck brother, keep us posted.
 

Romjuan

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 21, 2009
Messages
199
Reaction score
13
Location
california
thanks for the advice dl. im sure we will see each other from time to time at the local bars. im not trying to make her jealous and i would hope she doesnt either.. maybe we should talk about these things so we set some sort of stndards.
 

jophil28

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 18, 2006
Messages
5,216
Reaction score
276
Location
Gold Coast. Aust.
Romjuan said:
my question is do any of u have advice for moving forward?
Yes, I do. IF you are wanting to move forward, then do exactly that.
Having sex with her occasionally, when either or both of you are desperate, is not moving forward. Hooking up with a woman like that after one too many tequilas is not moving forward. Using each other as FB's is not moving forward.
Frankly if I were you I would be grateful to see the absolute end of her - why even keep her # ?
Dogs sometimes return and eat their own vomit, human beings don't.
 

Scaramouche

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 27, 2008
Messages
4,003
Reaction score
1,136
Age
80
Location
Australia
Dear RomJuan,
No need for animousity,you two were incompatible in bed,end of story......if you have lingering feelings for her and deep down feel the whole thing can be negotiated (It can't}then it's a case of Zero contact,but in cases where you know you will never rekindle the flame,then when going through a dry patch,why not continue to bang her?....Main thing is never move in again.
 

sodbuster

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 11, 2008
Messages
2,573
Reaction score
377
Age
65
Location
South Dakota
Whenever you go back to an old flame,you remember the reasons you broke up with them
 

AMDG

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 14, 2009
Messages
156
Reaction score
3
Romjuan said:
had a good break up
Congratulations :)


Do as I did long time ago - find a better one. Cut contact with her ASAP. Glad to see you don't lack free will.
 
Top