Update: Low IL? Ride it out?

[Mr. Wise]

This is the thread that I want to give an update on if you haven't read it yet:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=137412


Well I contacted her, she seemed happy to hear from me. However, my goal is to get her to ask ME out like she used to do. Now that I sense she's no longer bitter about the NYE thing, I'd like to step back. I know that if I invite her out, she'll accept. It's only a week and a half ago that we went out. She accepts all my calls and texts but no longer initiates the contact. It's all me for the past couple of weeks. I'd like that to change. I've read somewhere that if you're doing all the work in the relationship that it's time to walk away. Is this a good idea at this time? Timing is everything here, not sure about this. All serious comments welcomed.

Edit: All recent contact was initiated by me except one email - forgot about that.

 

[Metro3pilot]

I've read somewhere that if you're doing all the work in the relationship that it's time to walk away

Can you be sure she has not read the same thing ?

If you like her, why not pursue her ?

:rockon:

 

[Mr. Wise]

Can you be sure she has not read the same thing ?

If you like her, why not pursue her ?

:rockon:

Does it matter if she read it or not? Even if she did, she wouldn't know that I did. I want to pursue which is human nature, but human nature sometimes work against you. I just have a feeling that her interest isn't as high as mine and by me doing ALL the work, it'll never go up. If I distance myself at least for a couple of weeks, maybe I get raise her interest to the point she'll initiate some contact. She's shown in the past to be capable of it - it's just that she's not into me as much anymore.

 

[Metro3pilot]

my goal is to get her to ask ME out like she used to do

so, do you like spending time with her or is it the thrill of her asking you out ?

I know that if I invite her out, she'll accept

so, do you like spending time with her ?

I just have a feeling that her interest isn't as high as mine

playing games been working for you pretty good so far huh ?

She accepts all my calls and texts but no longer initiates the contact

when did she stop intitiating calls ? oh yeah that's right playa, it was right after she witnessed you and another chick grinding .....

INSANITY :

doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result ...

:rockon:

 

[Mr. Wise]

so
when did she stop intitiating calls ? oh yeah that's right playa, it was right after she witnessed you and another chick grinding .....

INSANITY :

doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result ...

:rockon:

It was before NYE that she stopped initiating calls/texts. If you have any serious advice I would appreciate it rather than being sarcastic about it.

 

[Metro3pilot]

If you like her, why not pursue her

That was my serious advice.

:rockon:

 

[Mr. Wise]

That was my serious advice.

:rockon:

Ok, got it. I will but at the same time I'll give her some space at least for now.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

It doesn't sound like you messed up too bad. Just go "no contact" for a few days. In my experience if the girl is still interested no contact for about 4 days and if you haven't heard from her send a text or email.

This last girl I saw would usually come around after about 4 days of no contact. Until the new years eve disaster ofcourse.

All I can say is get more #'s and dates and then you can thank this woman for dumping you.

 

[Mr. Wise]

All I can say is get more #'s and dates and then you can thank this woman for dumping you.

I ALWAYS work on getting more #'s. Even got one # a night I went out to meet this chick and her friends. BTW, she didn't dump me yet, but I can feel it coming. She'll still accepts all my calls/texts and go out with me. She just doesn't initiate the contact anymore.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

I ALWAYS work on getting more #'s. Even got one # a night I went out to meet this chick and her friends. BTW, she didn't dump me yet, but I can feel it coming. She'll still accepts all my calls/texts and go out with me. She just doesn't initiate the contact anymore.

That's EXACTLY the same behavior of the woman that dumped me. First she said LJBF. Then after that she STILL came over and sexed me. THEN she stopped initiating contact with me but ALWAYS replied to my texts and "LOL'd" at my jokes and told me I was "cute". PLUS she even called several times and initiated contact that way. Telling me she "just did her hair" and making me excited only to turn me down to hang out.

THEN she cut off the sex but would still kiss me and give me attention.

Come to find out she was dating around and probably screwing another guy, that's why she cut off the sex. This was after she told me she "wasn't dating". And that's why I kept chasing her because I believed she was alone and I was a fool. Most women just lie for no reason so they can manipulate us.

Go cold no contact man learn from my horrible experience. Not forever just maybe 2 weeks and then see what happens. Make her miss you that's all I can say I wish I did that but I kept contacting her and she dumped me.

 

[Mr. Wise]

That's EXACTLY the same behavior of the woman that dumped me. First she said LJBF. Then after that she STILL came over and sexed me. THEN she stopped initiating contact with me but ALWAYS replied to my texts and "LOL'd" at my jokes and told me I was "cute". PLUS she even called several times and initiated contact that way. Telling me she "just did her hair" and making me excited only to turn me down to hang out.

THEN she cut off the sex but would still kiss me and give me attention.

Come to find out she was dating around and probably screwing another guy, that's why she cut off the sex. This was after she told me she "wasn't dating". And that's why I kept chasing her because I believed she was alone and I was a fool. Most women just lie for no reason so they can manipulate us.

Go cold no contact man learn from my horrible experience. Not forever just maybe 2 weeks and then see what happens. Make her miss you that's all I can say I wish I did that but I kept contacting her and she dumped me.

Well you got a bad deal. Basicallly that's what dating is all about - test the waters with different people. I certainly dated another chick while I was dating her so I'm not surprised. I honestly am not where you are because although I like her, I wouldn't want a committment with her. I think she sensed that from me and told me on more than one occasion that I was "shady". If I had to walk away, it'll be quite easy for me to do so and date someone else. Even if she is dating someone else right now, that's ok with me too. I'll miss her but won't be devastated by it. I have my eye out on another chick too - this one I could see myself committing to for sure. I'm hooking up with her and her friend tommorrow night.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Well you got a bad deal. Basicallly that's what dating is all about - test the waters with different people. I certainly dated another chick while I was dating her so I'm not surprised. I honestly am not where you are because although I like her, I wouldn't want a committment with her. I think she sensed that from me and told me on more than one occasion that I was "shady". If I had to walk away, it'll be quite easy for me to do so and date someone else. Even if she is dating someone else right now, that's ok with me too. I'll miss her but won't be devastated by it. I have my eye out on another chick too - this one I could see myself committing to for sure. I'm hooking up with her and her friend tommorrow night.

CHEERS Wise, a toast to us getting laid tomorrow night.

 

[Mr. Wise]

CHEERS Wise, a toast to us getting laid tomorrow night.

Cool - cheers! However I'm not expecting to get laid. This one I want to be really patient with. She's a "good girl" and wouldn't jump into bed with anyone on a whim.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Cool - cheers! However I'm not expecting to get laid. This one I want to be really patient with. She's a "good girl" and wouldn't jump into bed with anyone on a whim.

Same here I'm just hoping for a good date tonight. But the plan is drinking and I live in walking distance so anything is possible

 

[guru1000]

You are starting from a lower rapport. More often that not, these kind of scenarios do not work out.

You have given her higher value by the numerous phone calls. So you have work ahead of you if even salvageable.

Call her up, ask her on a date. If she says anything other than "YES!", then tell her "Have a nice day!."

On the date, demonstrate higher value. Also make it very clear, that many girls WANT you, and if she wants to continue communication, she has better STEP UP HER GAME. If you can B*NG her, that will break down the wall. Otherwise, reverse all the damage you have already done with your NEEDINESS calling and show her your MASCULINE ****Y SELF.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

nevermind

 

[Mr. Me]

Her not calling you could be because you're doing all the calling, and that doesn't give her any reason to contact you. Plus, based on your previous posts, it could very well be that she's not that crazy about being with you, as you seem to not get the understanding that you can't do things that turn women off and then expect them to want you, and that you can't call them to say, "I'm sorry" and all of a sudden everything's okay. There are consequences to behavior.

Go cold no contact man learn from my horrible experience. Not forever just maybe 2 weeks...

Just go "no contact" for a few days. In my experience if the girl is still interested no contact for about 4 days and if you haven't heard from her send a text or email.

You don't understand what "No Contact" is. It means just what it says. It doesn't mean "for a while and then contact her". There's good reason to this.

I had a woman act b*tchy toward me after a while, so, I didn't contact her. At all. After a few weeks, I guess she got the message that I was out forever and called me asking to hang out with me again.

Had another where I felt she was just using me so I dropped her - and never heard from her again.

It's not about how long you go NC. It's to 1. Rid your universe of the wrong people and 2. To drum home that unless they behave differently, they're never going to see you again. Then, IF deep down inside they really want you, they'll get in touch with you. Otherwise, it's good riddance to them.

It's about being not into somebody who's not into you. It's about not being their option. It's about flushing out who really wants you. It's not about calling them after a few days of silence.