Un-returned Voicemail? Next or try again?

[MtnMan]

Went on a blind date that a mutual friend suggested. The girl in question reached out to me first, I suggested drinks, she agreed and we went out a week ago.

Ended up having a real good time. Several drinks, lots of kino, hand holding and a very nice kiss/makeout at the end of the night. We both live out of town, so bang wasn't happening, but I really felt good about this date. I have been on several dates in the last 6 months, and this was certainly one of the better first dates.

We had talked about hitting up some of the local swimming holes and BBQ'ing on the date, but made no plans.

I did text her last weekend when I was out of town saying:
"i propose swimming holes/beers/bbq when I get back in town"

she said: "sounds good"

I called last night to firm up plans, but got voicemail. So I left "hi this is mtnman, give me a call back"

And I get no response, no text, no nothing.

She does work as an ER nurse, so she may have been working when I called. But obviously she has gotten the message by now.

I am thinking about giving her a day or two and sending a quick text to make plans, or do I just leave it now?

Torn between confident persistence and nexting (i KNOW there was at least some interest).

RANT: I HATE dealing with this crap, I want it to not effect me, but it gets me every time. I understand when a girl isn't that into me, and the date is just so-so.....but when the date is great, good chemistry, healthy makeout at the end, do they really loose interest that fast, or just go along and pretend they are into it just for entertainment?????? I used to think that women couldn't fake a good kiss, and that was a good indicator of interest, but I am doubting that now.
Why, oh why must women change their minds so often. I don't think I am that terrible at judging interest levels on a date.

 

[MattTheW]

She may just be busy, try to be patient, but don't build too much attachment to her.

The ball is in her court with regards to getting back to you - I wouldn't push
I'd give a day or 2 to assess - and try not to obsess

 

[MtnMan]

and try not to obsess

this is a key sticking point for me. Currently I don't have other plates. Working on a couple, but they are all just in the very early stages. I need to work on this. I have no illusions of this girl being the girl for me and LTR material at this point, but I did really want a second date with her.

Maybe I wanted to cross off tall, tatooed redhead off my list? :crazy:

 

[MtnMan]

She may just be busy, try to be patient, but don't build too much attachment to her.

The ball is in her court with regards to getting back to you - I wouldn't push
I'd give a day or 2 to assess - and try not to obsess

after a couple days should I text my date invite like the call never happened?

I don't know her schedule, I think it changes every week.

 

[Ruleit]

You're too invested in this. Even if she calls you'll find yourself going AFC. Find something else to occupy your mind. She has.

 

[MtnMan]

You're too invested in this. Even if she calls you'll find yourself going AFC. Find something else to occupy your mind. She has.

very true

 

[j.619]

I think you made your first mistake by leaving a voicemail. Voicemails seem too formal and needy... to me, at least. I'm sure many will argue that opinion. If you call and she misses it, she'll see the missed call and SHOULD call you back. Same goes for a text message.

Now... about the wanting to hear back from her. In my RLE (which is really relevant right now because it has happened to me twice in the last week or two), I've heard back from two potential plates that went ghost AFTER I did the mandatory 2-3 days NO CONTACT following the first date. Eventually they both got back to me within days of my reaching out. Thought it was a funny coincidence how it happened with both... literally within 24 hours of each other. Ended up f*ck closing one AND got her to agree to a FWB relationship. The other I have lined up to see tonight. Fingers crossed

Hope the advice helps you, brotha. Don't get needy and hit her up anymore. Good luck... AND KEEP SPINNING

 

[goldengoose]

Always use common sense when dating.

It doesn't matter what profession she has whether she is a nurse or a clerk. When you leave a voicemail for her, she is going to listen to it on her break. If she is interested she will call you back. If she is not, she will ignore it.

I'm not sure why all you guys want to piggyback with a text after an un-returned voicemail or previous text. All that does is make you look like a big AFC desperate for a date.

She got your voicemail, don't pretend she didn't get it. Wait for her to call you back. Texting her this time isn't going to change her mind if she wasn't interested the last time. If you hear nothing from her that tells you she ain't going to go out with you.

Never leave a voicemail or text to set up a date. Your chances of getting flaked on are higher by doing that. All she has to do is ignore it, then you panic and want to send out another text or a call. She got it, she is just ignoring it.

When you call her on the phone, she will either have to say yes or no, or come up with an excuse on the spot. That way you know for sure and don't waste your time.

When she misses your call, she will call you back if there is any interest.

Just because you thought the date was great, doesn't mean she felt the same. Lots of girls will make out with guys, doesn't mean that they will fvck them though. Never assume anything.

Don't bug the chick, she got your message. Start looking for new prospects.

after a couple days should I text my date invite like the call never happened?

She isn't going to forget about your previous voicemail. Don't text or call her at all. Don't beg for a date, she should want to go on it. When you're begging, you won't get laid. You won't get laid with a lack of interest either.

 

[Die Hard]

Do not text or call her back! I know how hard it is, I struggle with it myself... But you have to stay strong! You did your job, you asked her to give you a call back, now you must give her the opportunity to do so. If you contact her first, you messed up.

She either isn't responding because she doesn't like you (in which case it's pointless to contact her) or because she wants to mess with your mind (in which case you have to show her that she can't mess with your mind, and you show this by NOT contacting her). So whatever her reason, you contacting her now is BAD anyway! So be strong and control yourself!

 

[Zarky]

Currently I don't have other plates.

This is your real problem. The girl you mention, the unreturned voicemails, your anxiety, etc... those are all just symptoms of this one problem.

 

[Blistex]

I hear you, it is annoying to deal with but it happens.

I would leave it be. She knows you called. If she is interested, she will call back.

 

[MtnMan]

This is your real problem. The girl you mention, the unreturned voicemails, your anxiety, etc... those are all just symptoms of this one problem.

I know! I purposely let this happen because I wanted to take a break from trying to game girls. Its quite taxing at times. My friend set me up with this girl, so I took the opportunity.

I will stay strong and not contact her. Going to have to go out sarging this weekend, no rest for the wicked.

 

[MtnMan]

I will also ad that the day after the date she texted

"thanks for coming out last night, it was fun!"

fvcking women, i swear they mess with us on purpose

 

[jurry]

I will also ad that the day after the date she texted

"thanks for coming out last night, it was fun!"

fvcking women, i swear they mess with us on purpose

Haha ive gotten that one before too, never heard from again.

I think a little bit is on purpose to test us, a little bit because they enjoy the validation/power/being chased, and a bit because they are creatures of the moment and can change their mind like a switch.

Strange ways, but just got to enjoy the ride, absolutely not worth stressing over. "If you're not having fun, you're not doing it right."

 

[VladPatton]

I agree with the guys, leave her be...she's riding the cawk carousel with a fistful of tickets.

 

[nismo-4]

You're too invested in this. Even if she calls you'll find yourself going AFC. Find something else to occupy your mind. She has.

OP, your princess is in another castle. She would have returned that voicemail if Channing Tatum left it.

Also, she has little-no interest and you care too much. It's a lost cause. She moved on and found a better man. Sorry. So move on, as you have lost.

Case closed. Delete her from every platform.

 

[jurry]

She moved on and found a better man. Sorry. So move on, as you have lost.

How is that a constructive comment in any way, besides making someone feel like sh*t? I'd tell you to go fvck your mom if you wrote that on my thread.

There could be a million reasons she didnt call back, who cares why. You're putting way too much emphasis on outcomes - "winning or losing". She didnt answer, whatever, next, there's a million more, thats all you needed to say.

Come up with some new lines besides "case closed" and "your princess is in another castle".

 

[MtnMan]

I appreciate what Nismo is saying. To be fair, I would not say that she was ever my princess. I only went out with her once. I'm sure she has dudes orbiting and hitting on her constantly. She got hit on every time I got up to take a piss at the bar. (6' tall, hot tatooed redhead, gets LOTS of attention)

Perhaps she found a better dude after meeting me, perhaps something came up, perhaps bla bla bla. Its not important really, and Nismos post doesn't make me feel any worse about the situation.

The only truth that we do know from this situation is
A) A man needs multiple options to avoid these feelings of failure when a girl flakes out
B) this girl is obviously not high interest for whatever reason.

On to the next one.