Trend: (Usually attractive) girl asks for a bordering-on-taking-advantage-of favor one time + I don't honor the request = I'm dead to her.
Or...I say/do something innocently + girl takes her frustration out on me = I'm never forgiven.
Apparently, showing I am not a pushover and showing I am unaffected by their actions severely disappoints these girls.
Recent Examples (mainly from my job):
- A new girl (who I met and knew a little bit) wanted July 4 off. Because she is new, she got the super-early AM shift. I got lucky and was scheduled the day off - and made plans because of that. Girl approaches me and asks if I'd like to trade the day for the overnight shift. She was convinced I'd say yes. Obviously, I said "Sorry, I made plans and won't be around that day." The next day, a supervisor asked me to help new girl with something. New girl didn't pay attention the entire time. She subtly acted as if I betrayed her. This same situation has happened a few times, but this most recently one was probably the most annoying.
- Rather social girl at work goes on for 5 minutes about her favorite sports team and how great they are. This team, an underdog, was then eliminated from the playoffs. The next day, I ran into her and genuinely said, "Your team put up a really good fight, sorry about the loss." Girl erupted about how I shouldn't have brought it up. She openly talks to everyone at work...except me, who she will only say a couple of words to. Easy to tell, since she requests numbers/facebooks of a lot of people, but not me.
- Girl I knew for awhile came by my neighborhood for a party my friend was throwing. For some reason, she wanted to go to sleep in the middle of it. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that the noise kept her up all night. She gets up, BLASTS me in front of my friends for "causing all the noise problems", and then leaves. She hasn't said a word to me since...a year and a half has gone by. However, my friends - the primary noisemakers - are all "cool" in her books.
-One day at work, I found an open computer (we don't have assigned stations) and began working on a project. Girl comes in...apparently her friend who was saving the seat left before I got there. Because I was visibly working on a project with all my data specifically installed on that computer, she knew I couldn't move. However, I've been receiving glares from her ever since.
The concern: I grew up a perfectionist. Probably too much so. Events like this really don't help tone down the "perfectionist" ideal. In fact, it puts more pressure on me to deliver right away, or - as history suggests - I'm out. I only get one random chance while every other guy I know can "mess up" and still be seen positively. Isolated incidents aren't too bad, but my perception and reputation take a hit because these girls tend to know people. I become "that guy" and am looked negatively upon.
The question(s): Why does this keep happening to me? Is it due to a certain way I act? And...how do I fix this problem? Doing a 180 and becoming an obnoxious prick won't look good either.
For what it's worth, I am a well-built guy who is known for having his head on his shoulders and for being gregarious/outgoing.
Or...I say/do something innocently + girl takes her frustration out on me = I'm never forgiven.
Apparently, showing I am not a pushover and showing I am unaffected by their actions severely disappoints these girls.
Recent Examples (mainly from my job):
- A new girl (who I met and knew a little bit) wanted July 4 off. Because she is new, she got the super-early AM shift. I got lucky and was scheduled the day off - and made plans because of that. Girl approaches me and asks if I'd like to trade the day for the overnight shift. She was convinced I'd say yes. Obviously, I said "Sorry, I made plans and won't be around that day." The next day, a supervisor asked me to help new girl with something. New girl didn't pay attention the entire time. She subtly acted as if I betrayed her. This same situation has happened a few times, but this most recently one was probably the most annoying.
- Rather social girl at work goes on for 5 minutes about her favorite sports team and how great they are. This team, an underdog, was then eliminated from the playoffs. The next day, I ran into her and genuinely said, "Your team put up a really good fight, sorry about the loss." Girl erupted about how I shouldn't have brought it up. She openly talks to everyone at work...except me, who she will only say a couple of words to. Easy to tell, since she requests numbers/facebooks of a lot of people, but not me.
- Girl I knew for awhile came by my neighborhood for a party my friend was throwing. For some reason, she wanted to go to sleep in the middle of it. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that the noise kept her up all night. She gets up, BLASTS me in front of my friends for "causing all the noise problems", and then leaves. She hasn't said a word to me since...a year and a half has gone by. However, my friends - the primary noisemakers - are all "cool" in her books.
-One day at work, I found an open computer (we don't have assigned stations) and began working on a project. Girl comes in...apparently her friend who was saving the seat left before I got there. Because I was visibly working on a project with all my data specifically installed on that computer, she knew I couldn't move. However, I've been receiving glares from her ever since.
The concern: I grew up a perfectionist. Probably too much so. Events like this really don't help tone down the "perfectionist" ideal. In fact, it puts more pressure on me to deliver right away, or - as history suggests - I'm out. I only get one random chance while every other guy I know can "mess up" and still be seen positively. Isolated incidents aren't too bad, but my perception and reputation take a hit because these girls tend to know people. I become "that guy" and am looked negatively upon.
The question(s): Why does this keep happening to me? Is it due to a certain way I act? And...how do I fix this problem? Doing a 180 and becoming an obnoxious prick won't look good either.
For what it's worth, I am a well-built guy who is known for having his head on his shoulders and for being gregarious/outgoing.