Two Very Important Questions

[SamMalone]

Hey guys. I'm a "new" mature man (25) and have two questions:

1) Do you feel sex is worth it? I'm not bragging, but I could have sex every day if I wanted. I have a HB 9 girlfriend. We had a pregnancy scare five months ago and have had sex twice since. This is MY choosing. I'm not ready for kids. Do you guys ever consider the risk vs reward? Sex is fun but it honestly gets boring to me after a while, even after mixing it up with new stuff.

2) How can you tell your girl is a "good girl". Now I don't mean a virgin princess or anything, but I honestly can never see myself trusting ANY human being enough to enter into a contract with them that I give them half my stuff. There are just too many things that could happen; she could be not telling the truth about EVERYTHING. How do you know if she's telling the truth?

 

[jophil28]

Hey guys. I'm a "new" mature man (25) and have two questions:

1) Do you feel sex is worth it? I'm not bragging, but I could have sex every day if I wanted. I have a HB 9 girlfriend. We had a pregnancy scare five months ago and have had sex twice since. This is MY choosing. I'm not ready for kids. Do you guys ever consider the risk vs reward? Sex is fun but it honestly gets boring to me after a while, even after mixing it up with new stuff.

2) How can you tell your girl is a "good girl". Now I don't mean a virgin princess or anything, but I honestly can never see myself trusting ANY human being enough to enter into a contract with them that I give them half my stuff. There are just too many things that could happen; she could be not telling the truth about EVERYTHING. How do you know if she's telling the truth?

If you wondering how to 'cheat proof' a marriage, then the short answer is that you cannot - not for certain. However, her fidelity and loyalty is not merely a random lottery - read on.

If you want to know what your woman's true 'character' is, then you need to start asking questions, observe her behavior and take notes.

Firstly, investigate her family of origin. Was there any addictive behavior, cheating, violence, divorce, serious criminal behavior and so on.
This is the 'atmosphere' in which she was raised, and she will either rebel and live in a polar opposite way, or (more likely ) she will replicate her mother.
If her mother was a controlling shrew and acsended to the power posistion with a passive husband, then that is her model which she is likely to imitate.
I have also seen and spoken to several women who "hate'' their domineering mothers but, inspite of the open hostility between them, the daughter ends up acting exactly like deal 'ole Mom.
Women from dysfunction tend to produce the same dysfunction in their LTRs.

Secondly, get yourself a good understanding of your contender's past intimate relationships. Were there disturbing patterns ? In spite of what she tells you about her eternal innocence, never forget that she was one half of those bonds, and therefore she contributed equally to their demise.

Finally, scrutinize her present day behavior and compare her actions with your expectations and standards- of course that presupposes that you have done the work required to consciously formulate them....

Good hunting, soldier.

 

[Luthor Rex]

1) Do you feel sex is worth it? I'm not bragging, but I could have sex every day if I wanted. I have a HB 9 girlfriend. We had a pregnancy scare five months ago and have had sex twice since. This is MY choosing. I'm not ready for kids. Do you guys ever consider the risk vs reward? Sex is fun but it honestly gets boring to me after a while, even after mixing it up with new stuff.

If you consider it in a Mr. Spock cost / benefit fashion, then the answer is no.

 

[Crow]

Hey guys. I'm a "new" mature man (25) and have two questions:

2) How can you tell your girl is a "good girl". Now I don't mean a virgin princess or anything, but I honestly can never see myself trusting ANY human being enough to enter into a contract with them that I give them half my stuff. There are just too many things that could happen; she could be not telling the truth about EVERYTHING. How do you know if she's telling the truth?

No girl is "good". You probably aren't perfect either. As for your stuff- Prenup. I prefer girls to not tell the truth about EVERYTHING. Do you honestly want to know so much? It's never been anything but destructive in my experience.

 

[zekko]

Marriage is a risk (especially these days), you can't avoid that. I think any woman has the potential to cheat, no matter how moral they are. You read about people who have been married for 40 years and someone cheats. That's because after all that time someone comes along and makes them feel the excitement that they haven't felt in a long time, and maybe they thought they couldn't feel that way again. And even if she doesn't cheat, divorce is still a possibility for other reasons.

As for giving up half of your stuff in a divorce, if you marry someone who makes as much as you and has as much stuff as you that shouldn't be a worry. Of course that's rarely the case, usually the guy makes more, as was the case with my marriage and divorce. My attitude with marriage was I would roll the dice at least once.

If your girlfriend is really an HB9, do you find that she gets hit on all the time by other men? Because I tend to believe that HB9s are not good marriage material because guys are always hitting on them. That means they will always have options and temptations directly in their face, not to mention a sense of entitlement.
But you're pretty young yet, so she may not stand out quite so much from other girls her age. Or she may really be an HB7.5 or an HB8 and you think she's a 9 because of your personal attachment to her.

 

[vitor]

Why are you with her if you have sex every 2.5 months? Lets be honest for a min, if you want to have a good logical enjoyable conversation call your best guy friend, your brother or your father. If you want to deal with drama, bs and nonsense call your girlfriend..

 

[yuppaz]

Ya man.... You are basically probably already getting screwed around on by this girl. And you probably really deserve it. You only f*ck her twice in 5 months.... that's horrible abuse to her in my book, neglect in the least. Get her little @ss on the pill, wear a rubber a f*ck precious' brains out. You may already be too late, she may already be shopping for new guys right now. You have all the time in the world when she leaves you to not have sex for your fear of getting her prego's why start now? I think you are associating some kind of major fear with sex now so you tell yourself there is a good reason to not do it, and justify that by saying it's no big deal....well do you know for certain that she feels the same way? You may have honestly already shot yourself in the foot, take that **** back by getting protection and f*cking her GOOOOOOOOD. If you don't someone like me (metaphorically speaking) would be more then happy to fill in the gap. Ya, you have a good reason not to trust her and you can easily identify it by looking in the mirror.

Key to good ltr (IMHO):
1. F*ck her good
2. Make sure she knows you have other options
3. Don't be her b*tch, live for you, let her come along and never supplicate.