Jitterbug... I don't see that you're completely responding to what Buddha is saying and your conversation has made me think. I don't believe in "the one" and I don't believe in being a "white knight". But if you can love the gym, love your life, love all of the things you do, why do people get so uncomfortable when people start also wanting to love a woman? I'm not talking about the sort of AFC who loves a woman and loses complete track of himself and his life. I'm talking about a man who finds a woman who complements his life and, dare I say, improves it rather than replaces it.
Music has definitely made my life better. I love being able to write songs, play the piano, sing, and perform. My friends have made my life better too. I have so many great memories and experiences with a lot of really great guys and girls (the few truly platonic relationships I've had) I've met over the years. I like to work with my hands, build things, read and learn new things, write, and develop my body. I derive joy from all of those things and they have made my life better.
Now why is it that a woman can't serve the same function as any of those other things? I mean, there have been times I have wanted something like a new keyboard, a guitar, a tool, or something else very badly. When I first started out here, I really wanted to get in good physical shape. And when I have finally gotten whatever it is that I really wanted, or achieved whatever it was that I really wanted to achieve, I was happy and it felt very good. I still love my keyboard, guitar, body, and I get excited when I know I'll be going out on a Friday to dance because I love to dance.
I know I'm taking a long time building this up, but it's all for a point. If I can feel that way about inanimate objects, why is it somehow a mistake for me to feel any less and even more so about a woman, a living human being? Why is it wrong to derive a sense of pleasure from being with a woman, from enjoying her company (even enjoying it a lot), from wanting to make her happy, and all of that other fine stuff. We seek these attributes from our friends and many people cite the sense of comradery with their friends, and I would hope that a DJ would want an even stronger sense of comradery with their woman. Again, I'm not talking about sacrificing your pride, person, life, interests, or anything else for the sake of a warm body. I don't think anything except perhaps a person's ultimate destiny and life path should totally and absolutely consume them to the point that they start letting the rest of their life go.
There are more ways to feel alive than a woman and the man who forgets this will be summarily disappointed.
Maybe one day those attractive men will wake up and realise they don't need to struggle to find a meaningful relationship with women, because they start to question who was it that put it into their heads that they need a meaningful relationship with women in the first place.
And that's when they find life awesome and live happily ever after.
What put it in our heads that we "need" a meaningful relationship with a woman are all of the previous generations of humans that had meaningful relationships with woman and all of the previous evolutionary descendant organisms in the human phylogeny that left a genetic imprint upon the present population of humans that said it's evolutionary favorable to the perpetuation of a person's genes that they form a strong pair bond with a member of the opposite sex.
I think it's more than that, but the evolutionary psychology is something that can at the very least have the scientific method partially applied to it. A meaningful relationship with a woman is something that takes almost ninja like skills to execute properly. It's like holding a nuclear reactor (or electricity, as Buddha said) inside of your hands - if you aren't careful, it will melt down, shock you, and literally consume you. The man must be vigilant and careful not to lose himself in the power he holds. And what is the benefit of having something like that within your grasp? The tremendous amount of power, utility, and everything else possible to derive from such a profound source of energy! Usually, the most power and/or beneficial things in life are those capable of causing the most harm. And it seems like those on the board who speak most loudly against things like meaningful relationships are guys who have either been so hurt in the past that they have developed a mental association with strong pair bonding and pain, or they don't have the proper resolve to deal with such a delicate situation without losing themselves or getting hurt.
It's a poor argument because just because a person executes a scenario incorrectly for whatever reason doesn't mean it doesn't work... it just means the necessary pieces were not all there or lined up correctly.
So why is this a problem? I don't have time to write any more but I really would like to know... what's the problem?
