Trouble with my gf - think I need a kick up the arse

arutha

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Hey guys, wow its been a long time since I was last here. I like the look of the forum.

Anyway, I got into the game and such a few years ago, enjoyed the immediate success associated with finding some confidence and learning how to treat women, and stopping all the stupid basic mistakes I was making. Got a gf, got bored of her, ditched her for her best friend who was hotter and a lot more fun, all was going well. Nearly 2 years into this relationship, things are starting to go a bit sour in the last couple of months.

To start off, she was completely obsessed with me, wanted to see me all the time, wanted to sleep with me all the time, now... Well she seems to not want to see me as often. She says she still loves me, and says she still enjoys spending time with me, but she has become a bit flakey. Not replying to messages, cancelling plans at the last minute, and our sex life has reduced to pretty much zero. Part of that could be the pill since it apparently reduces sex drive, but I'm sure part of it is also the powerful magnetic attraction has gone.

I guess getting out of the game has put me back into some bad habits. I'm somewhat at a loss as to what to change to fix things up though, I am still flirting, teasing her, making sexual comments, being confident. We are both going through a bit of depression though and neither of us have a lot of energy, so we don't really do much when we are together or go out very much. She tends to just sit on the couch, say shes tired, and talk a bit until one of us gets bored. Not exactly excitement filled. The last few times I've suggested we go out somewhere, she has said she is too tired.

Well, this post could easily get very very long so rather than trying to go into every little detail at once I will finish by saying that I am at a really busy and critical part of my life career-wise, its been almost 2 years so I do have a much bigger emotional investment in her than I am comfortable with, I do love her, and with all the stresses and depression at the moment I would not be able to handle a breakup. I have certainly considered it, but realistically cannot try to go through it until late november/early december. So for now I would like to try to improve things, but I feel like I am trying and not really getting anywhere. We have had long discussions (pfft, like they ever prove anything) and she has suggested things for both of us to improve on, but not really done a whole lot yet. Its a bit of a crappy position to be in and she isn't be very supportive of me, but thats women I guess.

Any ideas for things I could try to improve things? Or at least hold out for a month and a half until I have the time to try to get over her?
 

Lion

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arutha you say you are busy with career, what is your schedule like at the moment? Is this girl giving you what you want?

If you really care about this girl you should stick with it, YES kick yourself up the a4se, listen to some new music or do something new, maybe suggest doing new things with your gf.
Be there for her but don't take any **** either, be a MAN, lead the way but don't get needy or change who you are.

MOst importantly, talk is good but don't get bogged down in it all, show her how you feel with your ACTIONS and upbeat ENERGY.

Good luck man
 

arutha

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Well my hours are mostly my own, but a lot of the time I am working 8.45-6 or 7, pretty long days, and occasionally a bit on the weekends as well. By the end of such a long day I'm pretty exhausted. Shes not really doing anything for me lately, I think she does still want to be with me (for reasons beyond just her saying definitely yes) but I'm getting a bit less sure of that.

Yeah part of my problem is I have become a bit needy, it took me a long time to open up to her. I never 'needed' my ex and liked the power I had with that attitude, and kept it here a long time but she didn't think I was being open enough.

All of a sudden I don't have any ideas for new places to go and new things to see, I guess things are getting a bit stale. You are right, actions are far louder than words. I don't really think long deep conversations prove very much at all really. And certainly constant arguing doesn't.
 

Asasione

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Your blaming your situation instead of being the man and taking action to spice things up again. Deep conversations with her and tentative suggestions will get you nowhere. If you want things to change I suggest you re-game your girl. You can also lead by example, tell her how you want things and start doing them and guide her to follow you. If you want things to change, change yourself, have a positive and fun way of looking at the world and express it with everyone. You can also try talking to hot girls for the simple purpose of amusing yourself and keeping you sharp.
 
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