Tried to set up a date through text !!! Didn't work.

[Gears of Led Zep]

(after intense, slightly PG-Rated flirting)

Me: Hey. You and me are hanging out on Friday
Her: Oh okay. Well I have cheer on Friday
Me: We'll kick it after cheer = ]
Her: After 8:45? lol

[by this time I was on some Sosuave threads and basically seen the error of my ways, I.E. I was being a total puzzy. I considered being persitant and switching days, thinking it was confidence, but I discarded that thought and just tried to flip the script, ,, so I wouldn't look needy either. Don't know if it was a smart move or cop-out)

Me: Aw damn that sucks. Well maybe next week then, I'm kinda busy this week

She hasn't replied back, but I don't care. Next time I'm just grabbing my balls and squeezing them till they turn purple while I CALL her and set up a real date.

Me and this girl used to go to middle school together, so I though a cool date would be walkingt through our old school grounds after bowling. But before I even plan anything I need to work on setting up the date....my games done down pretty bad after being with a girl for about 3 months. I've fallen into the "texting" trap because its easy route; I catch myself having conversations and being g.ay in general, which ain't good!!!

There a lot of good stuff here on Sosuave about texting, and setting up dates--but I think its just safer to ask through a phone call. Right guys? Next time I will be very straight to the point, and just mention the time, place and day.......and I'll make it seem like two old friends catching a beer or something. I get really nervous if I make stuff sound too "datey"

 

[ARrocket]

A lot of the OLDER guys on this forum say "never text, that's for pvssies" etc etc.

Truth be told, if both of you are younger, which you obviously are, there is nothing wrong with texting AS LONG AS YOU DON'T DO IT IN A WUSSY SORT OF WAY.

You, however, are doing it in a wussy sort of way.

It is ok to have SHORT flirtatious encounters via text. HOWEVER, do not EVER have conversations via text. This is week game bruh, and it will not make things easy for you.

SO, keep the texting to a minimum. THEN, when you are ready to MAKE PLANS, you can text her. I liked your "you and me are hanging out Friday" approach, direct and to the point, shows confidence.

Of course, if you are comfortable calling her for the date, there is nothing wrong with that either!!!

So, don't make yourself so available (constant texting, trying to make a specific day work, etc), and I think you should be in good shape.

 

[Gears of Led Zep]

Hey ARrocket, thank man. I really appreciate your advice

here the new text conversation we had yesterday guys. This probably isn't set in stone cuz I'm feeling like I'm half-assing it with asking her...but the truth is I almost want her to reject me because I don't have great experience with asking girls on dates, and I've had almost zero rejections in my life--which means I'm not trying hard enough.

She told me yesterday in the morning that her cheer practice was cancelled or some crap like that. Anyway I called her--she didnt pick up so I left a message saying call me back.


Her: Hey bestie. Why'd you call?
Me: Cuz I kno when we're gonna hang out
Her: When
Me: On friday at 6:04 pm
Her: 6:04? (yes you stupid cvnt)
Me: Pacific.
Her: Specific, you mean? Lol.
Me: Haha no, pacific like time zones. But nvm. Yea around 6 you should meet me in (city)
Her: Why in (city)? I mean I'll be working at a golf tourney there, but still
Me: Cuz I haven't been at that bowling alley in hecka long haha
Her: Oh we are bowling? Lol
Me: Yes, are you any good HB?
Her: Lol I'm like so pro.
Me: Oh im pretty terrible, youll have to help me out
Me: With your "pro" skills haha
Her: Oh dang it, I can't help you. Lol I'm terrible too. I was hoping you'd be good so I could copy you. Haha
Me: Oh your just trying to show off for me then? Tsk now we'll have two terrible bowlers
Her: Lol well if my two friends come, that's four
Me; GOODNIGHT BlTCH (by I didnt really say this, I just politely said I was gonna pass out if I kept the convo going....was like 11:00 at night)

I just said goodnight to her, felt like I was fluffing too much. I'll definitely have to check up to make sure we're still going. The way I read it she has much freedom to flake, I can see her saying, "Oh I didnt know you were serious" or some crap like that. This girls also been harassing me like everyday to add her on FB, which I never will, so you could pull that out and use it as an excuse....idk..help guys?

Thanks again ARrocket, I try to take charge like a man as much as I can ha.

 

[DonJuan_DeRosco]

Don't leave messages!

I'm assuming it was her mobile you rang? If so, she'll see your missed call. I follow Doc Love's 'No leaving messages rule'. Others might not perhaps.

Also, too much txting, too much of a conversation!

Also, you don't want her friends coming, that's a group date.

NO GROUP DATES! At least until a few months down the line.

Why did you say 'goodnight b1tch'? Bit harsh.

Keep at it soldier, the only way is up!

 

[Gears of Led Zep]

Don't leave messages!

I'm assuming it was her mobile you rang? If so, she'll see your missed call. I follow Doc Love's 'No leaving messages rule'. Others might not perhaps.

Also, too much txting, too much of a conversation!

Also, you don't want her friends coming, that's a group date.

NO GROUP DATES! At least until a few months down the line.

Why did you say 'goodnight b1tch'? Bit harsh.

Keep at it soldier, the only way is up!

No group dates--check-- yea I hate group "dates" they suck. I don't mind hanging out but, to me a dates only 2 people. I edited the post, I didn't actually tell her goodnight b1tch, but when she brought up the friends I got tired and just ended the convo.

I've never heard Doc Love's 'No Message" rule,' I'll check it out. What I gathered from the DJ Bible is that calling without leaving a message is weird and creepy

 

[DonJuan_DeRosco]

I've never heard Doc Love's 'No Message" rule,' I'll check it out. What I gathered from the DJ Bible is that calling without leaving a message is weird and creepy

It's probably one of the very few things i disagree with the DJ bible. I think leaving messages comes across as needy. Like you're desperate for her to know that your tryna contact her.

If it's her mobile you've tried to call, she will see the missed call report and know you've tried to call her. If it's her home phone, who cares, wait a few days and call again.

 

[The Mad Ghost]

Why'd you tell her you two were gonna go bowling?

You could've just suggested it was an "adventure", alot of the mystery is being blown away. Regardless of the texting, never just txt her because your scared to ask her on a date over the phone and use texting as an escape or the easy route. Don't catch yourself being gay anymore! Eliminate the inner-chode within you.

 

[Ease]

Is she interested in going out on a date?

Her: After 8:45? lol
She hasn't replied back
Her: Hey bestie.
Her: 6:04? (yes you stupid cvnt)
Her: Why in (city)? I mean I'll be working at a golf tourney there, but still
Her: Lol well if my two friends come, that's four

These lines stood out for me. Whats wrong with 8.45? Sounds like she has lack of enthusiasm. Is she joking about bringing her friends?

I highly doubt bowling will work. And if she was serious about suggesting her friends, i hope u arent going.

Truth is, if she's interested, she will make it easy. The difference between asking out an interested girl and a girl that is rejecting you is undeniable, text or no text.


A word on the whole confident 'me and u are going out' line. It sounds like you read it on an internet site. Better game is disguised. Saying 'lets go out' is the same thing but more natural. The best DHV is one that you dont demonstrate openly. Im sure there are cases where it would be good to use, to show tough and manly we are, but in this case it's too obvious. Disguise your game, 80% of text game is being aloof and uncaring anyway. Dont reply and make spelling mistakes and boom, you've done your part.

 

[DonJuan_DeRosco]

Dont reply and make spelling mistakes and boom, you've done your part.

This has piqued my curiosity. What do you mean by 'make spelling mistakes'? Do you mean not to text in case you make spelling mistakes, or are you suggesting he makes spelling misteakes? (see what i did there )

And if you are suggesting he makes spelling mistakes, i'd like to know your reasoning.

 

[Ease]

Its a silly thing where you put a lack of effort into presentation and punctuation. Its mainly because you are too cool for that.

Like the difference between:

'Hey, do you want to go to X Bar tomorow?'

'Hey wana go x bar tomorow'

The first is what i would use to text my boss. The second is clearly going to some skank female. Super effective on messengers or emails if you are trying to gain upper hand.

Its a small thing for when you need a special secret weapon, use it if you like it.

 

[Gears of Led Zep]

Ease said texting is meant to be aloof, so when he talked about using bad spelling, I'm pretty sure he meant purposely, DonJuan. Thing is I usually text like that, but when I got her # and we first exchanged messages, I noticed she always used perfect grammar, so I try to mirror that

Thanks for the tip, I like the boss vs skank scenario. I just thought that appearing aloof in text (which girls worship, far more than face-to-face) wouldn't entice them.

Rereading this, I can smell low interest. (that or I suck at asking girls out, could be both) Thing is I saw her working at this coffee shop, she was responding with explosive high interest the entire time....but her two fat friends were there also, and after meeting them I lied and said we'd all hang out. Asking her out solo, I'm having trouble saying "fvck your friends, just you and me"

I'm thinking that since shes such good friends with these uglies, shes not a normal HB, so that ****y shyt isnt working as strong. Idk. I appreciate the replies though guys

Also Ease, ha what do you have against bowling? = D

Why'd you tell her you two were gonna go bowling?

You could've just suggested it was an "adventure", alot of the mystery is being blown away. Regardless of the texting, never just txt her because your scared to ask her on a date over the phone and use texting as an escape or the easy route. Don't catch yourself being gay anymore! Eliminate the inner-chode within you.

I was trying not beat around the bush, but yea I like the "adventure" route also. Mystery is usually what I do Mad Ghost, here though I was trying to copy/paste some Sosuave ****e straight into my phone lol. As said above though it needs to come out natural

 

[Gears of Led Zep]

A word on the whole confident 'me and u are going out' line. It sounds like you read it on an internet site. Better game is disguised. Saying 'lets go out' is the same thing but more natural. The best DHV is one that you dont demonstrate openly. Im sure there are cases where it would be good to use, to show tough and manly we are, but in this case it's too obvious. Disguise your game, 80% of text game is being aloof and uncaring anyway. Dont reply and make spelling mistakes and boom, you've done your part.

What if that gets interpreted as me asking her to be 'boyfriend and girlfriend' though. I don't want to scare her off. I know if she's got mega interest she'll do everything in her power to get with me....but its been almost 2 weeks since we saw each other so truthfully things are fizzlin'

I try to use a mix of subtlties and openness. Here ya I tried to disguise my game, I wanted it to seem like two old buddies hanging out--thats why I said bowling, but maybe a better location would be better

 

[Desdinova]

There's nothing wrong with texting a woman. However, I would advise to set up a date while on the phone. A woman can reject you through text by not answering, then have an open doorway by saying she didn't recieve it.

When you ask out a woman live, the worst she could do is say "I don't know". Women generally don't want to hurt your feelings, and they also don't want to feel bad themselves. If her IL is questionable, she may say yes just to try it. As long as you've got good game in-person, you'll have no trouble getting a second date.

 

[ARrocket]

Here ya I tried to disguise my game, I wanted it to seem like two old buddies hanging out

FAIL!!!!

Why do you want to seem like two old buddies hanging out? WHYYYYYYYY would you want to do that?

It IS important to have comfort, but is WRONG to be ASEXUAL.

If it seems like two buddies hanging out, OF COURSE she is going to want to bring her friends. If it was a guy, and he said he was bringing 2 friends, cool right? The more the merrier.

BUT THIS ISN'T A GUY. This is a girl. A girl who you want to fvck because you are a MAN.

Maybe I'm being picky now, but don't tell her you suck at bowling. Tell her you're amazing and she should try to keep her hands off of you after she sees your dazzling skills. And you can even throw in a

The point is, you wanna come across as a man who wants to spend time with her as a woman. You don't have to say "hey let's go on a date" because that is just weird. But you should lead the interaction where you want it to go in a much more clean and precise manner.

Don't get into such long texting conversations. Just give her a time and a place, throw in a little joke or C&F, and go about the rest of your day.

Don't try to act like her friend, because that is all that you will ever be. Ya dig?

 

[Moneytalks]

I had a girl telling me she was gonna show me what sex is all about and I messed that up big time.

Text her "what're you doing on Tuesday?"

Then got angry at the lack of replies (and stone cold sober by this point so sent something like)
"I wanna smash your back doors in on Tuesday, what're you doing?"

And that went on for 10 minutes, sending texts back and forth like that. Then I rang her drunk and she doesn't even talk to me anymore

In short: Call them instead

 

[DonJuan_DeRosco]

Its a silly thing where you put a lack of effort into presentation and punctuation. Its mainly because you are too cool for that.

Like the difference between:

'Hey, do you want to go to X Bar tomorow?'

'Hey wana go x bar tomorow'

The first is what i would use to text my boss. The second is clearly going to some skank female. Super effective on messengers or emails if you are trying to gain upper hand.

Its a small thing for when you need a special secret weapon, use it if you like it.

You know, i've never really thought about this before. I LIKE IT!

I'll add that to the armoury.

Good tip Ease.

Moneytalks, your reply had me chuckling.

I wanna smash your back doors in on Tuesday, what're you doing?

ROFL, brilliant.

 

[Diaforetikos]

Me: Cuz I kno when we're gonna hang out

I'm surprised no one else pointed this out.



You chose to use the term "hang out." That term basically tells her that you wanna be friends.





Why, you ask?

Lemme ask you a simple question. What do you do with your friends when you guys come together to have fun?

HANGOUT!?




See what I mean? Friends hangout. Hangout and date are two different words mate. Why do you think she invited her friends? You guys are just gonna hangout, so whats the harm in inviting a couple a friends? To her, there isn't any harm in that.




Keep that in mind next time you ask a girl out. You'll be dodging a massive friendzone bullet.

 

[teacha]

I'm surprised no one else pointed this out.



You chose to use the term "hang out." That term basically tells her that you wanna be friends.





Why, you ask?

Lemme ask you a simple question. What do you do with your friends when you guys come together to have fun?

HANGOUT!?




See what I mean? Friends hangout. Hangout and date are two different words mate. Why do you think she invited her friends? You guys are just gonna hangout, so whats the harm in inviting a couple a friends? To her, there isn't any harm in that.




Keep that in mind next time you ask a girl out. You'll be dodging a massive friendzone bullet.

WRONG!!!

 

[Ease]

Asking out and nervously waiting for her response is a natural process. You can't be afraid of doing it.

But i dont know why your against making it sound datey. Your both single, you might aswell kill it and say 'lets go on a date'. It wont harm the game, your intentions are obvious anyway. The only time i can think of it being a bad thing is if she has a boyfriend and you want to do a stealth operation into her pants. Or if you have a girlfriend and you want an escape clause if it goes wrong, 'hey, it was jsut friends!'

 

[iliketennis]

she called you "bestie" as in "best friend"

she wants to bring other people on the date so there's less chance you hit on her

move on to the next one that this time be direct