"Tricked into a date?"

[Mr. Goods]

I've been away from the board for awhile, focusing on my work/career moreso that focusing on trying to date girls. At my company, anyone we meet is going to be from work and there are a surprising number of couples within the company (it's a large place in the middle of nowhere and we work long hours).

The work/career part is going well. I was recently promoted, which puts me more at ease for the time being. Also, recently, I met a HB 8.5 who is just starting up at the company. Last week, she was sent to observe me all day (it's a method the company uses to teach the new people how the job is done). Everything went well - we clicked quickly, she kino'ed (I'm not initiating kino at work ) and we had dinner together after my main project was done (still had to finish some things later). I was talking to my good friend about this, and he said, "Dude...you were tricked into a date."

I figured he was joking. Sure, this HB would be someone I'd like to date, but I haven't even asked her out yet! Especially in a work setting, I will only make a move when I know the response won't be negative. He persisted that I just had a first date. His logic:
-I brought up to her how we'd get dinner at the cafeteria after my work was done. She was excited about going for a good part of the shift. She went as far as to say she'd run over and get us dinner to eat where we were if my project ran late. He says this was asking out. We don't know what the other part was about.
-When HB and I did go to the cafeteria, she forgot her money/purse. I told her not to worry about it and that I'd pay. At first she felt bad that she left her purse at my desk, but instantly changed her tune once I assured her it was fine and she'd pay me back. He says this was me paying for the 1st date.
-We sat together and ate for awhile, conversation was very good/smooth. He says this was the date.
-At the end of the day, I initiated that we exchange numbers (we did) and she said she'll treat next time we have dinner (presumably in the cafeteria, I showed her the big special they had). He says this is her plug for date #2.

I told my friend that he's being ridiculous. We are both at work and just wanted something to eat after spending an entire shift together. Sure we get along, but I wasn't thinking of this as any sort of date. Days later, he continues to hold his position, saying she beat me at my own game and cleverly executed a date (I like to try and gain a mental edge). Your thoughts...was this her "tricking" me? Also, can this sort of trickery actually be executed by any of us?

 

[ArcBound]

Heh well if you were tricked by an 8.5 into a date I wouldn't be complaining.

I actually do use this "trickery".

I always get their numbers under the pretense of "let's hangout, we can study later, gimme your contact info i might need it later"

I do call them and set up arrangements on "dates" (doing things like I would normally do on a date without EVER mentioning dating), then as long as you ramp things up physically each meeting suddenly you two have already been dating for a while and she wants to make a boyfriend out of you.

So yeah its completely possible she's trying something. Go to more of these dinner hangouts with her, if it escalates you are in, if it doesn't seem to be moving anywhere maybe it's not what you think it is.

(You're probably going to have to put yourself out there during one of these dates to test and see if she actually was thinking of dating you. A girl usually won't escalate, but a girl initiation dinners is a pretty good sign).

 

[Mr. Goods]

Heh well if you were tricked by an 8.5 into a date I wouldn't be complaining.

Very true. In now way is this complaining - far from it - as much as it simply makes you think. Referring to what you wrote below (more on that in a sec), usually I'd be the one gaining the mental edges, not the other way around.

I actually do use this "trickery".

I always get their numbers under the pretense of "let's hangout, we can study later, gimme your contact info i might need it later"

I do call them and set up arrangements on "dates" (doing things like I would normally do on a date without EVER mentioning dating), then as long as you ramp things up physically each meeting suddenly you two have already been dating for a while and she wants to make a boyfriend out of you.

So yeah its completely possible she's trying something. Go to more of these dinner hangouts with her, if it escalates you are in, if it doesn't seem to be moving anywhere maybe it's not what you think it is.

(You're probably going to have to put yourself out there during one of these dates to test and see if she actually was thinking of dating you. A girl usually won't escalate, but a girl initiation dinners is a pretty good sign).

Similar to you in how I get the ##'s. I try to tie it into something, and usually it works. Strangely, I just asked this HB for her number at the end of the night and that worked. But, yes, usually I do what you do with the numbers. Works too.

The "ramping up physically" makes sense, unfortunately that's difficult to do at work. Of course if I can determine that there is interest on both sides, I can then take her on a date outside of work and ramp things up. We both have different schedules, though I will continue to see how things progress.

This is for anyone though...what do you make of the scenario described in my OP (the questions at the bottom)? Similar to ArcBound, I like to have that mental advantage, but it seems I may have met my match, if in fact she is cooking up some tricks.

 

[The Experience]

She obviously likes you. No girl would do anything she doesn't want to do.
Yes, if you'd like to think those two encounters were 'dates', then you can, but they're not 'official I like you, you like me sort of dates'.

You're thinking about this way too much, let it come natural. If you like her then you can risk asking her out right?
Just ask her out to breakfast/lunch/dinner outside of work, better yet, make it an action date.





It'll be hard, but just keep in mind at all times that you are the man, and you are the king.

 

[perseverance]

I would just advise you to keep your work life and private life seperately.

 

[DarkShade]

Dipping pens in company ink tends to leave stains, I concur with perseverance

 

[Mr. Goods]

I understand the whole "dipping pen into the company ink" thing. However, due to the size of the company (large), the job setting (middle of nowhere) and the environment ( a lot of people around the same age), I have no problem trying to meet women at work. Of course I may be a little careful initially, but there is no outside alternative here (everyone we know is from work).

Any other thoughts on the questions in the OP? And no "dipping pen into the company ink" concerns...I am aware of them, but it doesn't affect what I would do.