Tough Question by a g/f

[Bourne]

This is tough. I'm 26, she is 20.
I was in 6 year relationship to point of almost marriage.

Current g/f and I been together year and half. She askes me where do you see us in 5 years?

Goddamnit. Tough question. I honestly do not see us together longer then that. I hate to break her heart but I feel like its inevitable. I didn't answer like that.

Should I have?

Why can't people enjoy each others company and know that this will not last but you just enjoy life together and share moments.

Anyone been in similar situtations and how did you handle them?

 

[joekerr31]

yep. ive had that.

i told her the truth.

it ended.

i was glad.

i enjoy living with a clear conscience. i didnt want to be with her if i had to pretend we were going somewhere we werent.

thats just me. it was the decision that i could live with, so for me it was the right one.

J

 

[STR8UP]

Originally posted by joekerr31
yep. ive had that.

i told her the truth.

it ended.

i was glad.

i enjoy living with a clear conscience. i didnt want to be with her if i had to pretend we were going somewhere we werent.

thats just me. it was the decision that i could live with, so for me it was the right one.

J

I did the same thing. Told her the truth.

She didn't like hearing it, and it changed the dynamic of our relationship, but she held on for over a year despite the fact. I felt better that I didn't mislead her, but SHE ONLY HEARD WHAT SHE WANTED TO HEAR. In the end, I was still the a$$hole.

Funny thing about it is, before she asked ME where I saw our future, SHE was the one predicting doom and gloom for us. All I did was confirm what she was saying. She still got all bent out of shape and acted as if I was bringing the world to an end by what I had said, even though she was the one saying it first. How's that for chick logic?

I agree, why can't two people simply enjoy each other's company without so much pressure? I guess it doesn't work that way with most women.

 

[MightyMate]

I tract like sluts the girls im not seeing life with.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Women love to play emotional tug of war with a guy they're involved with, especially once it progresses to a physical relationship. Once they have a hook hook into they want to know, not only hear the words, how long you'll let them control you.

My policy is to be up front and completely truthfull with them. If you aren't monogamous, or plan to be in the near future, it needs to be addressed from the get go. This way each of you are on steady ground and can move forward.


Some can take it. Most can't.

 

[( . )( . )]

Originally posted by Bourne

Current g/f and I been together year and half. She askes me where do you see us in 5 years?

Let me guess, the b!tch sprung this chick bullsh!t on you after you just got done nailing her? silly girls, always the way and so predictable.

I'd like to say "Forget 5 years if you keep that sh!t up I'll be jumping out of this window in 5 minutes"........but I realise shes just a chick and all emotional and insecure so I usually settle with a smart ass remark to play the crap down "What am I, Nostrodamus ? " etc etc insert C&F rubbish.

On a side note I once had a fatty I was smashing on the side for emergencies ask me pretty much the same question, all I could do was bite on my knuckle to stop the laughter. Sure all chicks seem to ask on que without failure but the nerve of this one lol.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

DJ Math

I swear, all a DJ needs is good math skills to figure out his own problems.

So here's your equation:

You're 26 + You've been seeing this girl for 1.5 years = You've been with her since you were 24.5 years old.

You were in a previous 'relationship' for 6 years - 24.5 years old when you started seeing this girl = You were 18.5 years old when you had your first girlfriend.

The question you need to be contemplating isn't where you'll be in 5 years, but,

WTF HAVE YOU BEEN DOING WITH YOURSELF FOR THE LAST 7 AND A HALF YEARS!

Your answer to her question should've been:

"At 31 I plan to be financially independent, in the best shape of my life and tapping all of the women I stupidly missed out on in my 20s by convincing myself that monogamy was in anyway desireable then."

For fvck sake, Spin More Plates and you'll never be asked sappy romantic comedy movie lines like this.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Re: DJ Math

Originally posted by Rollo Tomassi
I swear, all a DJ needs is good math skills to figure out his own problems.

So here's your equation:

You're 26 + You've been seeing this girl for 1.5 years = You've been with her since you were 24.5 years old.

You were in a previous 'relationship' for 6 years - 24.5 years old when you started seeing this girl = You were 18.5 years old when you had your first girlfriend.

The question you need to be contemplating isn't where you'll be in 5 years, but,

WTF HAVE YOU BEEN DOING WITH YOURSELF FOR THE LAST 7 AND A HALF YEARS!

Your answer to her question should've been:

"At 31 I plan to be financially independent, in the best shape of my life and tapping all of the women I stupidly missed out on in my 20s by convincing myself that monogamy was in anyway desireable then."

For fvck sake, Spin More Plates and you'll never be asked sappy romantic comedy movie lines like this.

Touche'

 

[Desdinova]

Current g/f and I been together year and half. She askes me where do you see us in 5 years?

That's when you tell her your plans for the next five years. Then you let her know that she will join you IF she's still around.

Nothing's ever concrete when you include other people in your plans.

 

[Bourne]

Rollo Tomassi, thanks for a reality kick in the ass.

That really made me think.

 

[STR8UP]

Originally posted by Desdinova
That's when you tell her your plans for the next five years. Then you let her know that she will join you IF she's still around.

I don't think this would fly with most women. They want to know about "US" in five years. Not "ME" with whoever else is tagging along.

It's just another way a woman tries to make sure she isn't "wasting her time" with you.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by STR8UP
I don't think this would fly with most women. They want to know about "US" in five years. Not "ME" with whoever else is tagging along.

Exactly!
I am surprised other posters suggested something very arrogant as the answer. What would it accomplish? Show him as a prize?
Yes, it will.. the prize she doesn't want anymore, a prize for somebody else. Sure.

We shoudl realise that either a man say "yes, sure, you, you , you.." or he is toast and he's gonna dump him next day/month.

Maybe some simple but definite "Married to you if you behave well" would work much better.

 

[mikeabundo]

Originally posted by al77
Maybe some simple but definite "Married to you if you behave well" would work much better.

I'm gonna start using that. Turns the challenge back on her.

 

[Dark Nimbus]

Originally posted by mikeabundo
I'm gonna start using that. Turns the challenge back on her.

... and if she DOES act like a good GF, what are you going to do then? Chances are you won't have it in you to tell a loyal chick of 5+ years to take a hike.

Anyways, if a chick brings this topic up tell her the truth, or as someone suggested tell her what YOU will be doing for the next 5 years. From experience I know that making any long term promises when it comes to chicks is a bad idea. Things will change, your eye will start to wonder, and sh1t will hit the fan more then likely.

 

[Captain Popular]

"baby, i dont like to look ahead into the future, i like to live 1 day at a time. and right now im glad im with you."

lol i dunno something along those lines.

 

[Bourne]

Originally posted by Captain Popular
"baby, i dont like to look ahead into the future, i like to live 1 day at a time. and right now im glad im with you."

lol i dunno something along those lines.

That wouldn't work. The way I am and she knows, I have goals that I make for 1-5-10 years. Im very flexible in terms of going with the flow of life but I do have a goals that I aim at and stick to. I do live in the present and I tell her that, I enjoy the time I spend with you.

Next time she brings it up I will straight up tell her that I don't see us together in 5 years. And we will probably be over.

 

[DonJuanMonk]

It's kinda hard yo, you have to imagine "If I wake up in the morning with this person, will me and her continue to have good convos or just blank stares at the ceiling?" If you get the blank stare answer, you should be honest even if it is as bad as "Well, you seem cool and stuff, etc etc" _ Trust me a break up will happen and it's for the better good for the both of ya'lls.

 

[MightyMate]

Ok i broke up yesterday at xmas. Hahaha.
Well i just coudlnt stand that.
Anyways we are bakc together now today. We will se for how long.

 

[golfguy]

I would have just told her "I don't think about that, and I really don't know. I like to take life as it comes".

You'll have an idea if she's a keeper, but you def don't want to say "married to you" unless you'e already been engaged.

lol...Damn. That's got to be a ****ty question.

 

[laffytaffygirl]

wow you guys are all into the how many girls I can score thing. When a girl asks you that sort of thing it means she's probably seeing you in HER future more than what you folks are now. as the whole "women playing tug of war" sometimes you have to look into what they been through to understand what type of emotional level their playing at. but hey, if you guys decide to get involved with more than one girl at a time I suggest you just not have a relationship with any girl until the time comes for you to commit to one person in a relationship.

back on topic... if you don't see this girl in your future in 5 years just be straight up with her and say "Look I don't know, I'm not a psychic. Sh*t happens and 1.5 is not long enough to establish a future for me. doesn't the present matter more to what the future might bring?" Sorry but sometimes you need to be blunt with the girl if you don't want to be caught up an emotion game she might start to play.