To next...or not to next...hmmmmmm...

[Tantric]

Okay...first off...this is NOT that exciting. :crazy:

My new neighbor down the hall is really cute. I ran into her a few times over the past 2 months. I thought she was cool, but nothing that made me want to # close or anything. Small chit chat, nothing big. Plus I saw some guy over at her place quite a bit. I've been wanting to do my own thing for the past 8 months or so, and not get too involved with chicks anyway.

I ran into her last week, and we ended up getting into a really good convo. Convo was only 10 min. or so, but she seemed sorta into me, and I actually really enjoyed talking with her (usually women I meet in LA are not that interesting). My dog was pulling me as he wanted to get home, so as I was ending the convo, she finished with, "we'll have to continue our convo over a glass wine or something" (meaning another day).

Normally...I would have got her #, or actually made plans right there and then, but I really hesitated as she not only lives in my building, but also right down the hall from me. For all I know she could have just been acting "neighborly".

I actually did regret not closing when I got back to my apt...which surprised me as I really have not been wanting to meet anyone for the past 8 months or so.

So I gave it a couple of days.

She is MEGA into dogs (my dog specifically), so when I took him for a late evening walk on Wednesday, I figured I would stop by and see if she wanted to come.

Don't know if it was a DUMB idea, but if I did not want to wait for another "chance" encounter.

She was actually really pleased when she opened the door and saw it was me. And go figure...she's been sick for 3 days. Even though she was not feeling well, I managed to get quite a few laughs out of her. Convo was maybe 5 min. nothing big. And she was not making any attempt to end the convo or brush me off because she was sick.

I guess my plan was to get her # WHILE out with her.

Nope...that plan was nixed because she was sick. Did it dawn on me to get he number then? NOPE! Hmmmm...must have had a mental block.

Anyway, got back to my apartment after I took my dog out, and laughed at myself for not closing when I had the chance a few days before.

So...I decided to let this one go. By this point she probably would lost interest anyway, and now thinks I'm a "nice neighbour"...and I'd probably end up embarrassing myself anyway. I mean hell, why try to get involved with a chick who lives 2 doors down from me? It's not like she showed 100% interest or anything...

So, that was my decision...

Until I ran into her in the hall an hour ago...HA!

Convo was again fun and flirty...we talked for about 5 min. maybe. She asked me what I was up to, and I responded by asked her what she was doing. Her reply..."oh, I am really tired. Going to have a nap". I was "hoping" she would have made it easy for me...you know...like saying she wasn't doing anything, or was not sure. Then I would have invited her over for that "wine". But nope...didn't happen...mental block #2.

So...now I don't know if I should just leave her on the "friends" plate or not. I am stuck because she is lives in my building, and I have had previous BAD experiences with people I've hit on in my own building...especially as you run into them quite a bit.

Thoughts on this one?

 

[xdreamz]

when in doubt do it later when you have more room to think

 

[woods]

The best thing you can do is try to meet some of her girlfriends, before moving in on her. She might hang with a pack of HB's, and she can be your 'social proof' (I forget the term for that)

 

[DJDamage]

I was "hoping" she would have made it easy for me...you know...like saying she wasn't doing anything, or was not sure. Then I would have invited her over for that "wine". But nope...didn't happen...mental block #2.

She did make it easy for you, as easy as any chick who is interested in a man would without asking him out herself. She gave you subtle hints which you didn't follow on.

she finished with, "we'll have to continue our convo over a glass wine or something" (meaning another day).

That is as good as it gets. Do you really think a girl that doesn't like you would want your company one on one for the first time with alcohol?! do I need to spell it out for you?!

Throughout your thread you seemed hesitent and what is tripping you is that you are always thinking about the negative outcome. Start thinking more positively and you will get better result.

I do agree that dating someone in your building may not be the smartest move especially since you two are on the same floor.

 

[Tantric]

okay...that's fair...that's fair.

Then the question remains...

What would the next step be?

 

[Moofahsa]

Show up at her house with a bottle of wine and ask her for a corkscrew.

 

[MacAvoy]

Show up at her house with a bottle of wine and ask her for a corkscrew.

This is actually some great advice, it shows that you are a man, are forward and not afraid. You know she likes wine and do it on some random weekday when she's likely doing nothing.

This chick is obviously interested, you've just ran into a couple of speed bumps but she's still showing interest. I've never dated a women in my building but you two obviously have some chemistry so why not see where it leads.

 

[Dole]

Show up at her house with a bottle of wine and ask her for a corkscrew.

Or better yet ask for a ****screw and see if she catches on:crackup:

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Tantric,

Sounds like your 8 month hiatus from women has you rusty, a tad bit insecure and definitely over-analytical of a cut and dry situation. I agree with Damage on this one, this girl has basically rolled out the red carpet for you to walk down with her and you seem scared to take the first step.

I remember reading an article on the front page of the forum a couple years ago. It was about 100 guys who went on a speed dating deal, and then were surveyed on how many women they felt were interested in them. The confident guys (roughly half) said nearly 90% of the women they met showed good signs of interest. The AFC's were much more conservative, saying things like "she was probably just being nice," "there's no way she was interested in more than a friendship," blah blah blah..you get the point.

Bottom line, this girl is yours for the taking. Don't worry about her being your neighbor right now, instead enjoy the interactions you have with her and progress. I understand your concern over her living down the hall (and its valid) but I'd be lying to you if I didn't say that I feel like your using that more as an excuse than an actual reason as to why you haven't # closed her yet.

Furthermore, if she lives two doors down, don't even worry about getting her number, next time you see her in the hall, chit chat for a few minutes then set up that wine drinking "date" right there on the spot.


Always move forward, don't stand still or look back.



PIMP

 

[Tantric]

Ha!

You're probably right...figured I was using the fact that she lived next door as an excuse too...thanks for pointing that out.

Well...this is what played out today.

I figured rather than waiting for god-knows when I'd run into her next, I knocked on her door this evening to see what was up. Figured I would chat a bit, find out her schedule this week, and set something up.

Sooooo...I knock on her door, she answers..she is all smiles, pleased to see me, etc. We chat for a bit...and then realize she is with some guy...having a drink of course! HA!!! The irony! :crazy:

After I noticed him she said she was just with her friend, so...and yes KILL me if this is not DJ...I felt a sudden urge NOT to do anything. She also seemed a bit drunk anyway.

I felt like I was interrupting something, so I broke off convo after a few and said I would chat to her later as she had company.

Sure, sure...a DJ would have macked her right there and then, close and set-up something IN FRONT of another guy...but something didn't feel right.

I felt like I was chasing her.

Soo...

This is what I am thinking...

Based on our convos, the flirtiness, and the fact that I've stopped by a couple times this week must have given her "some" inclination that I have an interest...correct?

I should be able to kick back at this point and see what plays out (not PURPOSELY "making sure" I run into her)...just see how she acts/reacts the next time I run into her in the building.

Kicking back I think will also increase my value...especially if this other dude is trying to mack her.

If she is still interested, she'll probably mention in our next convo if that guy as "just a friend" or not...

Thoughts?

 

[Tantric]

If I do not see her over the next couple of weeks...you think stopping by is lame?

 

[DonGorgon]

If I do not see her over the next couple of weeks...you think stopping by is lame?

Dont stop by again wait till you see her and be ready with good game...

 

[Tantric]

cool...

I know what I'm going to do...

mike

 

[Tantric]

hmmmm...here's a thought on interest level.

based on our interactions, I would say she is interested, but as far as how high, is a different story.

She knows when I am home...I know when she is home (we can see each others lights on).

Given that she "is" a girl...the chances of her knocking on my door, or stopping by is fairly low...even if she is interested.

So...will her interest level get LOWER, the longer I wait on this one?

 

[Rook]

So...will her interest level get LOWER, the longer I wait on this one?

Thats one way to see it... yes. You have already tipped your hand by showing her interest. She could just be a flirty girl that lives next door. She could also be interested in you. You have not established anything with her that proves she views you as more than a "cute" neighbor.

The guy in her apartment could be a guy she is seeing, a BF, a friend, a cousin, etc. That is unimportant at this time. If you have the "I'm gonna sit back and wait for her to come to me" attitude, you will never, ever, know if you had the chance. Her interest level may decline or go up.. sure.... but the worst part, she will continue to live her life and you will never know what might have been.

You'll never know, if you never go.

That said, I'd wait for another "chance" meeting to get a solid answer (and close). My method is more subtle than a lot of others on this site, so do what works for you. Showing up at her door (again) with a bottle of wine? not my style, but to each their own. Use the message in the bottle "of wine" in your close, but showing up again unannounced might be awkward, and/or perceived as desperation, especially if she has another suitor there.

Personally, next time you bump into her, go out to a nearby (walking distance would be best) place for a margarita.

 

[Tantric]

Hi!

I really did not mean "waiting for her to do something"...but rather having to "wait" until I see her next. Which could be 1 week (cool), 1 month (not so cool), or 3 months (yikes).

"Showing up" felt awkeward the last time...so I've FOR SURE nixed that idea. I also do not want to give off a "desperate" vibe or anything along those lines.

I know she gets home from work between 7:00pm and 8:00pm...so I can plan a walk around those times...to up the odds of a "chance encounter".

Obviusly I shouldn't be dwelling too much on this...I just tend to have this viewpoint of, "if you don't act now, the opportunity will be lost"...so my judgement gets clouded in these sorts of situations...

 

[DonGorgon]

hmmmm...here's a thought on interest level.

based on our interactions, I would say she is interested, but as far as how high, is a different story.

She knows when I am home...I know when she is home (we can see each others lights on).

Given that she "is" a girl...the chances of her knocking on my door, or stopping by is fairly low...even if she is interested.

So...will her interest level get LOWER, the longer I wait on this one?

well if you make no move she will assume you are not interested..plus she has other dudes she likes and who like her soooo.

 

[Tantric]

sooooo...

now you see my dilemma...

The only "waiting" is the the waiting to see here next...which could casue a lot of problems as it may be a month..

I have NO PROBLEM making the next move...BUT...the only way of doing sooner is to knock on her door...otherwise I am left waiting for the "next" time I see her.

So...knock on her door on Sunday to see what's up and close...WITH the risk of lookng desperate?

 

[DonGorgon]

sooooo...

now you see my dilemma...

The only "waiting" is the the waiting to see here next...which could casue a lot of problems as it may be a month..

I have NO PROBLEM making the next move...BUT...the only way of doing sooner is to knock on her door...otherwise I am left waiting for the "next" time I see her.

So...knock on her door on Sunday to see what's up and close...WITH the risk of lookng desperate?

well you need to just watch when she is coming and going and "accidentally" bump into her and make your move...

 

[Sandow]

First Off Stop Having So Many Mental Blocks.
She's Into You, But Be Interesting And Play A Good Game. If U Come On Too Strong She'll Run. Its Up To You, Sounds Like It Could Be Fun. Having A Booty Call 2 Doors Down Aint Such A Bad Idea