Time To Break-Up???

[Koopa Troopa]

Wow, it's hard to believe I'm back on here. I was a member of this site back in 2004 but stopped posting once I started dating a wonderful girl. However, here I am three years later and I need some DJ feedback.

Long story short, I met a girl during my senior year of college in 2004 and we hit it off quickly. We dated throughout that year, and when we both graduated at the end of the year we moved in together, which really kick started the whole process. Here it is 2007, we've been together for a little over 3 years, and I just popped the question. As I said earlier, she is a fantastic person and I definitely saw myself being with her for the rest of my life, but over the last few months I've started question if I want to still be with her.

Our situation has always been a bit different than most. We started living together 6 months after dating, and she is in the jewelry business so the talk of a ring was never taboo - it was more of a when than if. On top of this, we are getting ready to move out of the state because I was accepted to a top business school, so a lot is going on right now.

Basically my dilemma boils down to this: I am getting ready to start this awesome experience at a great school, where I feel I will meet a ton of new girls, and I'm not sure I am ready to be tied down yet. It seemed like a fine plan when I was in my current state, but now that I am starting this new adventure, I almost want to go it alone and see what's out there for me. In all likelihood, this school will enable me to find a fantastic job in two years where I will be making a nice chunk of change, so I don't think it will be hard to find new girls down the road. That said, I have had a great time with this girl, and I would feel like a total **** for leaving her when she has agreed to move with me AND has agreed to marry me! I know I shouldn't have done it, but it was a situation where it's basically sh#t or get off the pot, plus my family loves her and they were pressuring me.

Because of these thoughts in my head, we have been getting in a lot of little fights because I am irritable and nervous about what to do. On one hand I feel like a creep because I would be leaving this girl high and dry, when she really hasn't done anything horrible to me. On the other, I am only going to live once, and who knows what is out there for me. I don't really want to settle down right now because I feel like the best part of my life is still ahead of me.

Thoughts and/or opinions?

 

[Muppet]

It's a gamble, you may find someone better or you may shot yourself in the foot. Every guy always thinks about what it would be like with other girls, I know I did, and then my LTR broke up and I was reminded how much I did care/love her. You tend to forget that when in a LTR untill there is a big reminder that slaps you in the face. You could tell her you need some space for a bit but that will be hard living with her.

 

[mexican_player2]

damn man i have the same problem as you.

listen what i did was to keep her, but im going to try to get to know other females, if a better female comes to my path then i´ll break up with this one

 

[Koopa Troopa]

Why did my post get moved from The Mature Man forum?

 

[Koopa Troopa]

bump.....

 

[penkitten]

if you have to ask... its usually time.

 

[Phyzzle]

(You need your age in your profile for MM).

Can I assume she's not fat, not taking psychiatric medications, and has no kids?

You've found yourself a top 1%'er. Good fvcking luck finding another one of those in the U.S. when you're 30. Even when you're making 6 figures.

On the other hand, did you at least date other women in college? It sounds like you were having little luck with the ladies until senior year, and this is your 1st serious gf. Maybe even your 1st fling?

I would absolutely hang on to a good woman with high interest, but that's just me. Maybe you could tell her you're too young to get married, and you don't want to be formally engaged until you're 30.

 

[WaterTiger]

There are several threads similar to this one on this site. "Been with this girl a while, wonder if there is something better out there?"

It sounds like you have a keeper, I'm not so sure you should next her in hopes of finding a better girl. Answer me this: What would be a better girl? Taller? Shorter? Hotter? Smarter? If you can't pin down EXACTLY what you'd want different, then your like the idiot that in Vegas that gambles with his Visa card in hopes of a big jackpot.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

 

[Obsidian]

dang, I was gonna say something really wise, but Phyzzle and Water Tiger beat me to it.

I think you may have your priorities way out of whack, Koopa. What you don't seem to realize is that hot females are relatively common in America (not as common as I'd like, but still...). True, quality, feminine, submissive WOMEN are far more scarce. If you find one who has a high interest level in you, who will not get bored and divorce you 10 years down the road, then you probably can't do any better than that.

You might want to read this thread. It describes the evils of Romanticism -- of always pursuing a new thrill and forgetting what love really is.

We know of the romanticism that Nice Guys [and women] embrace (for the definition of an AFC is a man who loves like a woman). But Don Juans suffer from the romanticism as well. "This website has made me soooo picky!"

The problem is not pickiness but idealism. Just like beautiful women, Don Juans feel that they are 'settling' if they get a chick. Remember your Nice Guy days when you only wanted a good decent woman to love you? Now you want a Helen of Troy! How far we've come!