Time Heals....

[Bud Fox]

Ask yourself a question. How do you feel when:

-You have just had a relationship end
-A 'prospect' has just LBFD you
-You have realised that you are never going to get the girl that you have been lusting after for weeks.

Pretty bad right. The feelings can be quite intense and such experiences can make you miserable (of course if you are a true DJ then you will be above and beyond such feelings but this post is directed more towards those with remnant AFC tendencies).

Now contrast these feelings with how you feel when you have been on your own for a while, there is really no-one you are interested in and you are just getting on with life. You may not be ecstatically happy during such phases but you are not miserable either.

Well I think that you have to realise that the latter of these two situations is your normal state of being. What's more you will always revert to this state given time. Why is this important? Because it is NOT THAT BAD. And it is a good base from which you can go out, meet new girls and put those DJ skills to work.

Therefore, the next time you have been dumped or rejected and are feeling low and you just feel like you HAVE to make things happen with the object of your one-itis because if you don't you will never be happy again and life is just so terrible and...... STOP! Nothing needs to be done. Just get on with your life and soon you will be fine again. And you WILL meet somebody else. I guarantee it. So don't worry.

 

[Loverman]

Wasted Time

That is so true. Time will heal. We will also become stronger from these experiences and know how to avoid them in the future by spotting them early on and taking care of the problem or avoiding it all together.

Sometimes you should be glad for what you went through, it is inevitable. Think of how the worst is over and look forward to the future, you'd have to be a real f*ckup to not learn from your mistakes.

 

[darkmenace]

like the Beatles say: "Let it be, Let it be"

 

[corruptrelic]

like the backstreet boys say: "I want you back!"
j/k

Nice post, life goes on whether we like it or not, you can't change the past, there's only the future left and it's what you make of it. If a girl breaks up with you she's only proving one thing: You were too good for her and you deserve better, time does heal, and new women in your life (and bed) will make you wonder why you even cared about a break up or one-itis in the first place.

 

[bp1974]

I agree with the time theory but have a problem with quote:

'of course if you are a true DJ then you will be above and beyond such feelings'

It's ambiguous, granted, but if you meant that a true DJ doesn't have feelings of sadness when dumped/ljbfed etc then no, I don't agree with you. As everyone seems to know, 'DJ' really means being confident in your own skin, true to yourself, living the life you want while neither abusing nor taking abuse from anyone. You don't get to be this way by not feeling anything when sh*t happens to you. What's more important is how you respond to those feelings. None of us can change what feelings we get when something happens to us, and too many guys screw themselves over by trying to ignore what they feel and telling themselves they're ok when really they're mad, or hurting or both. The way towards being a so-called 'true DJ' is to become the kind of man who is totally aware and accepting of all his feelings, as and when they arise. He doesn't try to deny them to himself, doesn't pretend they're not happening, and has done enough work on himself to know why he feels the way he does about certain things. In short, he accepts himself totally!!! And you know the funny thing is, when you start to get to this state, you find that you act less on your feelings, ie you remain in control, despite whatever crap's going on inside you. This is true self-control.

 

[Aiken_Drum]

I agree with bp1974, you should never repress you feelings, it's only bring more pain and trouble in the future.

You need to think about your feeling and see why you feel that way and change you mental outlook so you don't feel that way, but not repress them.
For example, if you feel bad because some girl rejected you, it's good to think "**** it, I can meet more girls and there was nothing special about her, I'm getting better with each experiencie".

 

[Bud Fox]

For the record I completely agree. I put that bit about a true DJ not feeling in because I was anticipating replies that a true DJ could never get hurt in the first place. Personally I would never want to become somebody incapable of getting hurt- where is the fun in that?

 

[DJinArizona]

Read "How To Work Your Own Miracles" by Napoleon Hill. It's all about how time heals, why change is not only good but necessary in life, why every adversity results in greater success and happiness, etc. That book is my medicine when I'm down and out or heartbroken. It's not that long and works magic.

It's amazing how horrible a bad breakup feels and it's like the hurt will never go away, then a short time later you're so happy to be rid of the girl and wondering why the hell you were with her in the first place. That happened to me last year with someone I was dating exclusively for 7 months. Today I ran into her in the gym and thought she really looked like shlt (I guess the girls I'm dating now are hotter!) and asked myself why I was so into her. When I noticed her ass looking kinda sloppy compared to when I was with her I was especially relieved to be rid of her!!!

Another thing - every girlfriend I've had has been better than the previous one (better looking, body, personality, attitude, more fun, etc). As DJs we naturally "trade-up" every time and learn from our past mistakes. After a breakup it's comforting to know the next girl will be even better, and that you get to experience the excitement and fun and mind-blowing sex that only the beginning stages of a relationship can provide.