Time does not heal wounds with women; only replacement does

[oc16]

The only way to forget about a woman who blew you off and that you had an emotional connection with is to find another one you like.

Time might lessen the pain, but that is a very slow, slow process.

I was with a girl for about 6 weeks last summer that I liked that pretty much used me as a rebound.

I pretty much thought about her everyday for a year since I had NO other woman to replace her with.

FF to this past September when I had a fling with a girl much younger. She blew me off after a month and she is still on my mind since I have nobody to replace her with.

Time does not work and it seems that you only meet women who are relationship material once a year.

 

[oc16]

Yes and no. You need time and meeting someone new.

Anyone who has rebounded too quickly knows that doesn't really work either, in fact you're likely to have a volatile or unsatisfactory relationship. you have to meet someone that is significantly better than the prior girl. With time, it becomes less important that the new girl be significantly better, proving the importance of time.

keep in mind that when you date women they are 99% of the time in some state of rebound because of how often they date. This is why you run into so much friction at around 3 and 6 months.

I agree about the rebound thing.

I think its safe to say if a woman suddenly goes cold on you after seeing her 3 to 6 times; she has another man or men in the picture.

Women are insecure and don't like to be alone, so she wouldn't bail unless she has something else.

Truth is any woman in her 20s, who is atleast a 7 will always have multiple men interested in her at a time.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

The only way to forget about a woman who blew you off and that you had an emotional connection with is to find another one you like.

Time might lessen the pain, but that is a very slow, slow process.

I was with a girl for about 6 weeks last summer that I liked that pretty much used me as a rebound.

I pretty much thought about her everyday for a year since I had NO other woman to replace her with.

FF to this past September when I had a fling with a girl much younger. She blew me off after a month and she is still on my mind since I have nobody to replace her with.

Time does not work and it seems that you only meet women who are relationship material once a year.

Its true. You have to replace those memories. If they were corrupted with a bad relationship youll have a bad view on romance and intimacy until its been replaced. Everything else is just a distraction. 3-4 wks of consistent new puzzy will fix you.

 

[resilient]

Truth is any woman in her 20s, who is atleast a 7 will always have multiple men interested in her at a time.

Chances go up faster if she's a heavy social media/OLD user.

That's why I'm getting increasingly convinced that the next LTR I enter in next year and beyond will most likely result from my social spheres from Meetup, church, school, parties, or friend of a friend arrangement.

Social ties have built in emotional support systems and social proof with an extended network that will strengthen and support (or not support) the LTR with mutual acquaintances. Think married couples. They want other married couples to hang with, BBQ, couples dates, etc.

If you met off social media/OLD, she likely views you as replaceable if your frame begins to slip up and will go window shopping leading up to the withdrawing, hot/cold, infrequent texting behavior out of sight. Cooling off bedroom behavior is also another sign of disinterest. That, and new potentials are constantly hitting them up to date or hook up.

Options/abundance make one so independent, it takes a strong pair bond to keep a couple together.

 

[MatureDJ]

The only way to forget about a woman who blew you off and that you had an emotional connection with is to find another one you like.

Time might lessen the pain, but that is a very slow, slow process.

I was with a girl for about 6 weeks last summer that I liked that pretty much used me as a rebound.

I pretty much thought about her everyday for a year since I had NO other woman to replace her with.

FF to this past September when I had a fling with a girl much younger. She blew me off after a month and she is still on my mind since I have nobody to replace her with.

Time does not work and it seems that you only meet women who are relationship material once a year.

GREAT POST!

A man with options is not affected that much by women that leave him (divorce excepted), since he can always get a replacement (indeed, such replacement women are waiting for girl #1 to screw up). Men like myself who seemingly have to have all the planets in the Solar System align in syzygy to actually get a woman don't have this luxury.

 

[MatureDJ]

Agree with all of that, proven time and time again in my experience.

LARaiders85 is as correct on this as the Raiders18 suck.

 

[MatureDJ]

The only way to forget about a woman who blew you off and that you had an emotional connection with is to find another one you like.

Time might lessen the pain, but that is a very slow, slow process.

I was with a girl for about 6 weeks last summer that I liked that pretty much used me as a rebound.

I pretty much thought about her everyday for a year since I had NO other woman to replace her with.

FF to this past September when I had a fling with a girl much younger. She blew me off after a month and she is still on my mind since I have nobody to replace her with.

Time does not work and it seems that you only meet women who are relationship material once a year.

This might be anathema to the folks here, but ever since I put myself in the position to be able to "rent" a woman's intimacy, being able to rent one after a breakup makes the pain a lot more tolerable.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Oneitis can be a b1tch.

 

[lamath]

GREAT POST!

A man with options is not affected that much by women that leave him (divorce excepted), since he can always get a replacement (indeed, such replacement women are waiting for girl #1 to screw up). Men like myself who seemingly have to have all the planets in the Solar System align in syzygy to actually get a woman don't have this luxury.

And that give the women all the power, because when you hook 1 up you dont want to lose it.
Even if its a women of lower quality.

Only solution is self improvement.

 

[RangerMIke]

I only really had a chick that I pined over for more than a few weeks, and she was one I dated my senior year in college. It was an odd time for me, LOTS of my friends were getting hitched, I was 21-22, and this chick really was pretty awesome and I completely blew it. Without getting into too much detail, I really screwed up royalty... but just image the most screwed up thing a guy can do to a chick he was dating and I did it.

That break-up took some time to get over, and it wasn't because I wasn't dating... I did get back out there, but man it was a year plus a couple of months before I was completely over her.

I think another factor in taking a long time to get over a chick is when you THINK you have a good one, and it was something you believe you did to mess it up. Back in my younger days, when a chick just moved on it never really bothered me as much as if the loss was by my own screw-up. I think this is part of the reason why chicks seem to have the need to pin a break-up on the guy, because when people take responsibility for something they did causing something to go sideways, not only do you have to deal with loss, but also regret, which pours gas on a fire.

So my advice, if you loss a chick, is to not only get back out there, but also stop blaming yourself for anything that went wrong... mostly it really is chicks being chicks and it typically has nothing to do with you, or anything you can control.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

And that give the women all the power, because when you hook 1 up you dont want to lose it.
Even if its a women of lower quality.

Only solution is self improvement.

Get othet females. Your perspective changes and the world treats you better. Chasing hot women is stupidity. Only deal with women who choose YOU. Even wasting energy on friends only is bad.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Time heals but it's slow. Replacement only helps heal while you are with the person you are replacing your ex with, however, if you are not over your ex, you are likely to project your neediness around your unhealed wounds onto your new girl, and that's a recipe for disaster. When things with the new girl invariably end as they always do, you'll now be twice as messed up because you'll be grieving two relationships at the same time and thinking you are worthless and can't make anything stick - blaming yourself even harder. A bad way to go and I know this first-hand.

What heals the best is, in order of importance:
1. Working on yourself and your game to the point where you are having success attracting women you see as LTR material and that you are attracted to. I'm not talking about reading about game and thinking you can do it. I mean actually doing it and knowing that these women do exist and that you can get them. Until you KNOW that (instead of just believing it), oneitis will infect you and it will cause breakups to affect you far longer, and far harder. I can't stress this enough. DO NOT underestimate how much better your life is once you know you can attract women at least relatively reliably who you feel are "quality" women.
2. Having low expectations about relationships with women. Anymore, my mantra with any woman is to enjoy the time I spend with her, being in the moment, and knowing I might not ever see her again after tonight. Each day, I try more and more to not even thinking of wanting a "relationship" with a woman, but rather we are friends with benefits. Once you start having expectations beyond that is when things start to go downhill fast.

 

[lamath]

This, and I'll add that every...single...time I find out soon enough that the things I thought I did wrong had zero to do with anything lol. Similarly, the more effort she expends demonizing you to try to make certain you believe you are in the wrong, the more likely it is she is projecting.

Agree with the projecting i see it often

 

[MatureDJ]

Get othet females. Your perspective changes and the world treats you better. Chasing hot women is stupidity. Only deal with women who choose YOU. Even wasting energy on friends only is bad.

What happens if only fat chicks & single mommies chase me?

 

[lamath]

What happens if only fat chicks & single mommies chase me?

Hit the single mommies stay away from fat chicks

 

[mrgoodstuff]

What happens if only fat chicks & single mommies chase me?

Fvck them and get head. Upgrade your rotation as you can.