THIS will get her attention...

[drak_ool]

common wisdom on SS says that once a girl has checked out of a ltr, nothing the guy does will get to her, she simply doesn't care about him anymore. Well, let's say ALMOST nothing will get to her, as an acquaintance proved last week in tragic circumstances...

Guy and girl had been together since high-school, both around 22-23 now. They lived together, were engaged, he helped her find her current job with a Fortune 500 company that offers great benefits (he also works there). From what I hear there was some fighting from time to time, especially over his tendency to go out drinking with friends and showing home wasted. Because of that and other reasons, she decided to leave him and give him back his ring.

To say the least, he did not take the break-up very well. He crawled inside of a bottle, refused to move on. His daily routine was just work and then coming home to drink. What hurt him the most was to see how detached and normal she seemed, while his entire world had crumbled around him.

So he decided to do something that will get to her, something she would never forget. One night, he got drunk, grabbed his gun and shot himself dead. How do I know he did it to get back at her? He drove to her new place and shot himself IN FRONT OF HER.

So sad to see such a young guy, who got everything else going for him in life, to end it all for a girl.

 

[Atom Smasher]

And therein lies the danger of AFCism. It destroys a man from the inside out.

 

[origin138]

What Atom Smasher said is so true. This guy let himself be defined by someone else and it cost him dearly. I'd venture to say there was much more going on in this guy's life that led to such drastic consequences, she was just the catalyst.

His immediate move from adolescence into LTR and young adulthood is telling.

Rollo made an excellent blog post about this: http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2011/09/12/the-myth-of-the-lonely-old-man/

While the topic is somewhat different, there are some very strong parallels.

Very sad situation.

 

[samspade]

One thing Heartiste harps on a lot that sounds extreme at first blush, but that I think is true, is that Game can save lives. And not just the lives of the AFC himself. I don't have the evidence at hand, but I'll lay dollars to donuts that a good share of the mad shooters you hear about in the news have serious AFC tendencies. That may sound glib in light of the weight of tragedy...to say that innocent lives could have been saved if the guy had just gotten laid more often. But think about it - the motivation behind almost all of man's pursuits is the chance to pass along his sperm. It can be stifled in a lot of ways, sometimes voluntarily...but it's there. Stifle it in the wrong man, someone who's unbalanced, emotionally immature, or just doesn't give a foock, and you've got a dangerous ****tail ready to explode.

A guy who's so given up on life that he's willing to spray bullets isn't a garden variety AFC of course, but he has a serious strain of the same virus.

It's tragic that anyone would seek this way out when there are solutions at hand that will make him happier.

 

[AW1983]

Stifle it in the wrong man, someone who's unbalanced, emotionally immature, or just doesn't give a foock, and you've got a dangerous ****tail ready to explode.

Someone on CH linked to this recently, suggesting that the "impotent rage" the author mentions may be long-standing AFCism. Seems plausible to me. Like you said sam, we have one primary function as biological organisms on this planet, and if that function is impeded for too long...

http://www.lrb.co.uk/2011/08/19/slavoj-zizek/shoplifters-of-the-world-unite

EDIT: You know what's f'd up too? Is the hamster will reassure this girl that she made the right choice since he was obviously unstable and unworthy of long-term devotion. And in a way, she's right. Lose/Lose for the unfortunate protagonist of your tale.

If that dude had followed some SS protocol, he would've started improving himself and his lot and life, probably would've started drinking a lot less, and she probably would've seen he was capable of positive change and came back around after a month or two. Sad.

 

[backbreaker]

And therein lies the danger of AFCism. It destroys a man from the inside out.

the irony of the whole ordeal is that by doing all that all he has done is in her mind confirmed she made the right decision

 

[drak_ool]

the irony of the whole ordeal is that by doing all that all he has done is in her mind confirmed she made the right decision

It's interesting you guys look at it from this angle. I'm sure that eventually she'll come around to think that way, after all she has to live her life and can't do so while blaming herself constantly.

But as of right now, she is in absolute shock, and people said they hear her saying "it's all my fault" all the time.

I honestly don't know if him learning game at the last minute could have saved this situation from exploding as we don't know how long ago she decided she wanted out. The bottom line though is that leaving him is her right, whether he's alpha, AFC or somewhere in between. The problem I have is understanding how a guy can become so identified with another person that once that other person leaves his life he loses the will to live.

And what would have happened had she died in a car accident? Hard to believe he would have committed suicide in that situation. So a girl leaving you hurts you more than if she dies?

 

[Burroughs]

The problem I have is understanding how a guy can become so identified with another person that once that other person leaves his life he loses the will to live.

one has only to look at Junior Seau...very sad

 

[JD57]

Being AFC sucks, but that's not the issue in these examples. Severe depression is the problem.
I really doubt that Seau was an AFC

 

[betheman]

But as of right now, she is in absolute shock, and people said they hear her saying "it's all my fault" all the time.

of course she is saying that, what do you expect her to do?

maybe im being extremely cynical here but I think there willalso be an element of her performing for the crowd too! yeah, having someone you were deeply involved with, shoot themselves dead in front of you will shock even the most hardened pyscopath, so she will be shocked.

is she still working? getting on with life? Im sure she will be, also, in time, what a badge of honour for a woman to have a man kill himself over you? cynic? yeah, truth...probably

 

[AmIAFC]

one has only to look at Junior Seau...very sad

Seau committed suicide for reasons unrelated to this discussion.

 

[Down Low]

Here are some blurbs from the media about Seau:

"In October 2010, Seau survived a 100-foot plunge down a seaside cliff in his SUV, hours after he was arrested for investigation of domestic violence at the Oceanside home he shared with his girlfriend. The woman had told authorities that Seau assaulted her during an argument."

"Seau was discovered wounded and unconscious in his home, just north of San Diego, by his girlfriend, but no suicide note was found, police said."

"Seau's ex-wife told the Union-Tribune San Diego that he texted her and each of their three children separate messages: 'I love you.'"

I also let myself "fall asleep" at the wheel after an argument with a b1tch. If you are aware enough to know of the concept of "plausible deniability," you know he killed himself over a b1tch.

__________________

I am not her man. She can't stand the thought of me touching her. She's dripping with other men's semen. She is ashamed to be seen with me. She never misses an opportunity to disrespect me. Everything I do is wrong. I am the problem. She got what she wanted from me. She says "I hate you so much I could kill you." Going away forever will make her happy again. So I'm leaving her to her pumped-and-dumped lifestyle and leaving her bastard child fatherless. I'd be better off with no woman at all than wasting another second thinking about her. I learned from my mistakes and the next relationship will be done with planning for my happiness.

 

[AmIAFC]

You're oversimplifying the issue. Junior was going through issues that overshadowed his problems with his girlfriend. He was suffering through serious football withdrawal according to friends, and I'm willing to wager that his depression materialized also due to the physical toll (concussions) he paid through his 20-year career.

 

[hansol]

I've actually seen this before. Coles-notes version:

Guy 1 and his wife seperate, Guy 1 is blind-sided. Wife has been seeing another guy secretly (Guy 2) prior to the seperation. It takes a while for Guy 1 to find out who she is seeing, but eventually figures it out. It destroys the Guy 1. He does therapy, everything, and eventually has an "epiphany" and everything is suddenly perfect and chipper. 3 weeks later, Guy 1 sends his wife a text: "Everyone is going to know what you did." Wife goes "WTF" and ignores it.

The next day, Grey Cup day (Canadian version of the Superbowl), guy goes over to Guy 2's house where Guy 2 and ex-wife are partying and having a good time. Guy 1 bangs on the door loud enough to get everyone's attention at the party, then walks out onto driveway and literally blows his head off.

My reaction was that that Guy 1 has huge balls. He definitely succeeded in showing the neighbourhood that his wife was sneaking around.

 

[Burroughs]

Seau committed suicide for reasons unrelated to this discussion.

Very much related... do your research AFC.

 

[AmIAFC]

Very much related... do your research AFC.

Explain how it's related when it's well documented that he suffered from issues not related to his domestic issues? Furthermore, explain how his relationship troubles and his supposed suicidal tendencies finally manifested to the public only AFTER his career was over? No woman or any single individual drove him to commit suicide; the lack of football in combination with psychological issues created as a result of football, and possibly the lack of money did.

 

[drak_ool]

Very much related... do your research AFC.

Seriously guys, if you wanna bring in J. Seau into the conversation there's another thready going on about him.

while his suicide may or may not be directly related to a woman, the situation we are discussing about here is quite different, with a guy in his prime explicitly killing himself over a girl.

 

[backbreaker]

One thing Heartiste harps on a lot that sounds extreme at first blush, but that I think is true, is that Game can save lives. And not just the lives of the AFC himself. I don't have the evidence at hand, but I'll lay dollars to donuts that a good share of the mad shooters you hear about in the news have serious AFC tendencies. That may sound glib in light of the weight of tragedy...to say that innocent lives could have been saved if the guy had just gotten laid more often. But think about it - the motivation behind almost all of man's pursuits is the chance to pass along his sperm. It can be stifled in a lot of ways, sometimes voluntarily...but it's there. Stifle it in the wrong man, someone who's unbalanced, emotionally immature, or just doesn't give a foock, and you've got a dangerous ****tail ready to explode.

A guy who's so given up on life that he's willing to spray bullets isn't a garden variety AFC of course, but he has a serious strain of the same virus.

It's tragic that anyone would seek this way out when there are solutions at hand that will make him happier.

http://www.bloodhorse.com/horse-racing/articles/69491/albarado-suspended-indefinitely-after-arrest


let me put this **** in perspective for you.

this isn't just any old jockey. this is a guy who all he had to do was show up today for work and he was going to make at least 30 thousand dollars. he's one of the top 10 jockeys in america. he was the regular jockey for curlin who is the all time leading money winner in north america. he clocked over a million dollars just off riding that one horse. this is a dude that if he played his cards right gets ***** thrown at him like footballs get thrown to Calvin Johnson.

the motherfvcking day before the kentucky derby lol, can you pick a worst day out of the year that you don't beat the **** out of your ex lol? he finds out that she is leaving, locks her in the bathroom throws her to the ground and starts whealing on her.

and before you accuse me of going white knight he did the same **** to his ex wife last year. the dude gets AFC and beats up on women when they tell him what he doesn't want to hear.

now he is suspended for as long as they damn well feel like keeping him suspended.

it's like when being AFC goes wrong or some ****. she doesn't want to stay with you find someone else that will. don't beat the broad up.

 

[scrouds]

Must be short guy syndrome.